句子结构与写作模板.docx
《句子结构与写作模板.docx》由会员分享,可在线阅读,更多相关《句子结构与写作模板.docx(86页珍藏版)》请在冰豆网上搜索。
句子结构与写作模板
写作评分
作文一般采用总体评分方法(GlobalScoring)。
阅读人员就总的印象给分,而不是按语言点的错误数目扣分。
阅卷人员从内容和语言两个方面对作文进行综合评判。
内容和语言是一个统一体;作文应该表达题目所规定的内容,而内容要通过语言来表达。
要考虑作文是否切题,是否充分表达思想,即要考虑语言上的错误是否造成理解上的障碍。
阅卷标准分五个档次。
具体分数在此基础上可以上下浮动。
第一档:
切题。
表达思想清楚,文字通顺,连贯性较好。
基本上无语言错误,仅有个别小错。
第二档:
切题。
表达思想清楚,文字连贯。
但有少量语言错误。
第三档:
基本切题。
有些地方表达思想不够清楚,文字勉强连贯。
语言错误相当多,其中有一些是严重错误。
第四档:
基本切题。
表达思想不清楚,连贯性差。
有较多的严重语言错误。
第五档:
条理不清,思路紊乱。
语言支离破碎或大部分句子均有错误,且多数为严重错误。
一般来说,高分作文涉及如下方面:
(1)内容切题。
审题准、不跑题。
文不对题会严重影响成绩,导致写作失败。
(2)表达清楚。
语言要简洁、准确、条理清晰,主题明确。
(3)意义连贯。
遣词造句得当,表达连贯平稳。
论点论据展开合理(以因果、对比、分类、定义、列举、概括、详情、时间、空间、过程或综合等方法来展开)。
(4)句式有变化。
采用适当的句式来表达相应的内容。
常用句式包括简单句、并列句、复合句、主被动句、长句、短句、否定句、双重否定句、疑问句、反问句、倒装句、强调句、插入语、独立主格成分等。
(5)用词有变化。
避免重复使用同一词汇,可适当使用代词、同义词、近义词、关联词使表达富有动感。
同义词的使用是衡量考生语言运用能力的一个尺度。
(6)语言规范。
符合英语的表达习惯,语法错误少,写出的英语不是中式英语。
(7)字数达标。
【实例1】(2001年考研英语作文,满分20分。
)
Directions:
Amongalltheworthyfeelingsofmankind,loveisprobablythenoblest,buteveryonehashis/herownunderstandingofit.Therehasbeenadiscussionrecentlyontheissueinanewspaper.Writeanessaytothenewspaperto
1)showyourunderstandingofthesymbolicmeaningofthepicturebelow,
2)giveaspecificexample,and
3)giveyoursuggestionastothebestwaytoshowlove.
Youshouldwriteabout200wordsonANSWERSHEET2.
【范文及评分】
(1)
Itisgenerallybelievedthatloveisahottopicwhichismosttalkedabout.ThisistruenotonlyinChinabutalsoinothercountries.Weliveindifferentcountries,speakdifferentlanguages,butloveissomethingcommontousall.Buthowtoshowlovemaybedifferentwithdifferentpeopleindifferentcountries.Thisissomethingweshouldgivemorethoughtto.
Asshowninthepicture,loveislikealampwhichshinesbrightestindarkplaces.Thistellsusasimpletruth;Loveislikealamp.Itismostvaluablewhenitismostneeded.Forexample,onceIsawaforeignladygetlostinthestreet.ShecouldnotspeakChineseandnobodyseemedtobeabletohelpher.ThoughmyEnglishisnotverygoodandIamashyperson,Ithoughtsheneededhelpverymuch.Iaskedherwhatshewanted.Shetoldmeshelostherway,soIshowedherthewaytoherhotel.Itwasasmallthingbutshethankedmeverymuchbecausemyhelpwasneededverymuch.Myhelpwaslikealampinadarkplace.
Ithinkweallshouldbelikealampinadarkplace,showingourlove,givingourhelptoothers,eventostrangers.Inthiswaywecanmakethisworldaharmoniousandpeacefulworld.
18分,内容切题,包括题中所列三方面的全部内容;文章通顺,语言流畅,句式变化多样;用词面较宽;虽有个别不妥之处,但该生基本功较好;表达能力较强;长度符合要求。
(2)
Isawapicturerecentlyinyournewspaper.Thereisasmalllampinthepictureandaflameonthelamp,whichissmiling.Thelampsays,“Loveisalamp,itwillbebrightestinthedarkestplace.”Ithinkitshowsusavividpicture:
Whereandwhoneedlive,loveisthenoblestfeeling.SoIbelievethatweshouldgiveourlovetothosewhoareinneed.Ifeveryonecangivehislovetowhominneed,thentheworldwillbefilledwithlove.
Forexample,inthecountryside.Therearemillionsofpupils,whocan'taffordtoattendschool.Someofthemneverattendschool.Theyareunfortunate,butnowtherearemanywarm-heartedpeoplewhogivehelptothepupils.Ofcourse,wecanalsoshowourloveinmanyotherways.Forinstance.Asafriend,weshouldhelpourfriendswhentheyareintrouble.Thereisasaying.Afriendinneedisafriendindeed.Asayoungman,weshouldrespecttheolder.Whenwewalkonthestreet,wecanhelptheblindoroldpeopleandchildrentocrosstheroad.
Inaword,Therearemanywaystoshowourlove.Thepeopleallovertheworldshouldloveandrespecteachother.Thebestwaytoshowourloveistohelpotherswhentheyareindifficulties.
16分。
内容切题,包括题中所列三方面的全部内容;表达基本清楚,文字连贯;句式变化较多;结构与用词有少量一般性错误;长度符合要求。
(3)
Asisshowninthepicture,wecanseeclearlythatloveislikealampandthedarkertheenvironmentis,thebrighterloveis.Anditisnodenyingthatamongalltheworthyfeelingsofmankind,loveisthenoblest.Actually,becauseoflove,manypeopleintroublegethelpandencourage,sotheywilltrytheirbesttoovertakethedifficultyandlookforwardtoabetterfuture.What'smore,whenothersareintrouble,theytakehelpingthemforgranted.Therefore,lovewillbefoundallovertheworld.
Severalyearsago,someareassufferdisasterbecauseofheavyrain.ThePLAhelpthemrebuildtheirfamilies.Thisyear,Taiwanalsosufferdisasterbecauseoftheearthquake.Manypeopleinourcountrydoourbesttohelpthem.
Itisnecessarytotakesomemeasuretospreadthelove.Foronething,weshouldencouragepeoplewhohaveloveandarehappytohelpothers.Foranother,weshouldenhancetheawarenessofpeoplethatloveisbenefitforallofthissociety.AlsoImakesurethatbythisway,wehaveabrighterfuture.
12分。
内容切题,包括题中所列三方面的全部内容;表达基本清楚;但结构与用词错误较多,有少数严重错误;长度符合要求。
(4)
Thispicturetellsusarealitythatlovecanbringuplightingandthelightwillmakeeverywherebright.Althoughthelightisweak,itplaysagreateffectwhichwillmakepeoplemorefirmlythanbefore.
WhenIwasatmiddle-school,myparentwerebothoutofemployee.MyparentfeltdisappointedandIwasgreatlyworriedmyfuture.Ourlifebecameveryterrible,Ievendecidedtosuicide.Ourneighborlearntaboutmyfamily'scondition,andtheybegantohelpus.Theylentafewmoneytomyparentandmyparentusethesemoneytoopenashop.Theyhelpmetostudy.Myparentfinallygotthroughhardlife.SoIsaythatloveisgreat.
Ithinkthattherearesomewaystoshowlove.Youmaygivemoneytothepoorandhelptheolddosomeworkingandgiveyour'lovetothedisable.Thebestwayshowloveisfromheartratherthanfromappearance.Bythiswaythosepeoplewhoacceptedhelpswillfeelwarmly.Ourworldwillbrightifeveryoneshowlove.
8分。
内容切题,包括题中所列要点;语句尚可理解,但结构与用词错误多;有些是严重错误;长度基本符合要求。
【实例2】(2003年考研英语作文,满分20分。
)
Directions:
1)describethesetofdrawings,Interpretitsmeaning,and
2)pointoutitsimplicationsinourlife.
Youshouldwriteabout200wordsneatlyonANSWERSHEET2.
【范文及评分】
(1)
Thetwopicturedescribetheflowerinthewarm-roomcan'tendurethebadinvirnmental.Itismostlikelythatthedrawerintendsnotonlytotellusthefactbuttosetusthinkingwhatisundertheiceberg.
Forthetimebeing.TheentranceofWTOhasbecomethehottopic.DifferentpeoplehavedifferentideaabouttheentranceofWTO,thereareadvantagesanddisadvantages.TherearesomepossiblereasonswhyChinaimportantreasonforthisissue.ThemostimportantreasonisthatthedevelopmentofChinacan'tleavenation'seconomicwillstopdevelopingandwillnothaveachancetotakepartintheworldeconomic.AnotherreasonforjoiningWTOisthattheentranceofWTOcouldbeofgreatbenefittoournation.
Ofcourse.Thecoinhastwosides.TheentranceofWTOhasotherharmfulaspects,buttosomeextent.Ithasmoreadvantages.Ifwecan'ttakepatinWTO,ourcountrywilllostthechancethatenhanceourpowerofcompetition.Inmyopinion,ournationshouldbetakeeffectmeasuretoavoidtheharmfulaspectsbyourselves
所述内容与题目无关,是属生搬硬套事先准备的句子。
该题得分0分,原因是文不对题。
[提示]考生不要死记硬背范文。
当然,背诵优美的句子,学习好的表达方式是应该的。
但是,考生应该活学活用,而不是生搬硬套。
(2)
Asisshowbythetwopictures.Aflowerwascowerdwithroom.Itwasrainingoutoftheroom.Thesecondpicture,Thereisonlyonedeadflower.It'sclear,Ifmovethefloweroutoftheroom,Thattheserverereforestationresultedtheflower,dead.
Obviously,Thedawer,Throughtthetwopictures,Aimsatrevealingtoustheseriousqus-tions,Thechildrenliketheflower.
Tosolveteproblem,Ithinktheteacherandtheparentsandsocietymakeasustainedefort.Theteacherandtheparentssouldnotonlymakeplansbutalsoensurerationalstudylessonsofthechildren.Asdorthebreadmassesofthepeople,Theyshouldfullyimportantthequestion.Inaword,Iftheteacherandparentsandscocietyhavereallylali/esedandworkedonit,Thereiscertaintobeanencouragingrespectinchildrenglowing.
条理不清,词不达意;语句错误多且严重,句子基本上无法理解;字数不足。
得分2分。
(3)
Theflowerinwarmhousecan’tstandonrainandwind.Therearetwopictures,oneissaidthataflowercan’tbehurtbyrainandwind,shegrowswonderful.Theotherpictureissaidthat,theflowerwastookoutofthewarmhourse.thenshedied.
Thetwopicturestellusaturth,ourchildrenliketheflower.Theybeautifulandlovely.Theyhavealotoftimeandchange.Theyhavethefuture.Parentslovetheirchrildrensomuchthattheykeepthemundertheirarms.
Buttheydon'tknowtheirchirldrenwillnevergrownuplikethis.Whentheygointothesociality.Theywillfinditwassoweakthemselffordoinganythink.Liketheflowerinthewarmhousewasbringout.Ifmannoexperienceasachild,hecannotalmostlymakesuccesses.Noprogressforhim.Heisfailinstudyandwork.
Inmyopinion,parentsshouldgivethefreespacetotheirchirldren.Theymustlearnedsovlingproblemsbythemselfandfacetoeverydifficultiesinbrave.Chirdrencangrowbetterbythemselftheywillbesthrongandhealthe.
基本包括题目要求的内容,句子可以理解,但语言错误较多。
得分6分,分数主要丢在语言表达的问题上,如:
有较多的语法和拼写错误,还有一些汉语式的表达。
(4)
Theflowergrowinginthewarmhousecan'tbearrainingday.Therehasbeenadiscussionrecentlyaboutapictures—theflowergrowinginthewarmhousecan'tbearrainingday.Therearemanypersepectivesaboutthepicture.
Iamattractedataglanceofaflowerwhichisgrowinghealthily.Lookingatitcarefully,Ifindtheflowerisprotectedfromtherainoutsidethewarmhouse.Whenthewarmhouseisremoved,theflowerisgoingtobedead.Itlookssoslightthatcouldn'tstandupintherainingday
Simplydesignedasthepictureis,thesymbolicmeaningthepictureconveysisdeepandprofound.Bydrawingthepicture,theartistintendsn