句子结构与写作模板.docx
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句子结构与写作模板
写作评分
作文一般采用总体评分方法（GlobalScoring）。
阅读人员就总的印象给分，而不是按语言点的错误数目扣分。
阅卷人员从内容和语言两个方面对作文进行综合评判。
内容和语言是一个统一体；作文应该表达题目所规定的内容，而内容要通过语言来表达。
要考虑作文是否切题，是否充分表达思想，即要考虑语言上的错误是否造成理解上的障碍。
阅卷标准分五个档次。
具体分数在此基础上可以上下浮动。
第一档：
切题。
表达思想清楚，文字通顺，连贯性较好。
基本上无语言错误，仅有个别小错。
第二档：
切题。
表达思想清楚，文字连贯。
但有少量语言错误。
第三档：
基本切题。
有些地方表达思想不够清楚，文字勉强连贯。
语言错误相当多，其中有一些是严重错误。
第四档：
基本切题。
表达思想不清楚，连贯性差。
有较多的严重语言错误。
第五档：
条理不清，思路紊乱。
语言支离破碎或大部分句子均有错误，且多数为严重错误。
一般来说，高分作文涉及如下方面：
（1）内容切题。
审题准、不跑题。
文不对题会严重影响成绩，导致写作失败。
（2）表达清楚。
语言要简洁、准确、条理清晰，主题明确。
（3）意义连贯。
遣词造句得当，表达连贯平稳。
论点论据展开合理（以因果、对比、分类、定义、列举、概括、详情、时间、空间、过程或综合等方法来展开）。
（4）句式有变化。
采用适当的句式来表达相应的内容。
常用句式包括简单句、并列句、复合句、主被动句、长句、短句、否定句、双重否定句、疑问句、反问句、倒装句、强调句、插入语、独立主格成分等。
（5）用词有变化。
避免重复使用同一词汇，可适当使用代词、同义词、近义词、关联词使表达富有动感。
同义词的使用是衡量考生语言运用能力的一个尺度。
（6）语言规范。
符合英语的表达习惯，语法错误少，写出的英语不是中式英语。
（7）字数达标。
【实例1】（2001年考研英语作文，满分20分。
）
Directions:
Amongalltheworthyfeelingsofmankind,loveisprobablythenoblest,buteveryonehashis/herownunderstandingofit.Therehasbeenadiscussionrecentlyontheissueinanewspaper.Writeanessaytothenewspaperto
1）showyourunderstandingofthesymbolicmeaningofthepicturebelow,
2）giveaspecificexample,and
3）giveyoursuggestionastothebestwaytoshowlove.
Youshouldwriteabout200wordsonANSWERSHEET2.
【范文及评分】
（1）
Itisgenerallybelievedthatloveisahottopicwhichismosttalkedabout.ThisistruenotonlyinChinabutalsoinothercountries.Weliveindifferentcountries,speakdifferentlanguages,butloveissomethingcommontousall.Buthowtoshowlovemaybedifferentwithdifferentpeopleindifferentcountries.Thisissomethingweshouldgivemorethoughtto.
Asshowninthepicture,loveislikealampwhichshinesbrightestindarkplaces.Thistellsusasimpletruth;Loveislikealamp.Itismostvaluablewhenitismostneeded.Forexample,onceIsawaforeignladygetlostinthestreet.ShecouldnotspeakChineseandnobodyseemedtobeabletohelpher.ThoughmyEnglishisnotverygoodandIamashyperson,Ithoughtsheneededhelpverymuch.Iaskedherwhatshewanted.Shetoldmeshelostherway,soIshowedherthewaytoherhotel.Itwasasmallthingbutshethankedmeverymuchbecausemyhelpwasneededverymuch.Myhelpwaslikealampinadarkplace.
Ithinkweallshouldbelikealampinadarkplace,showingourlove,givingourhelptoothers,eventostrangers.Inthiswaywecanmakethisworldaharmoniousandpeacefulworld.
18分，内容切题，包括题中所列三方面的全部内容；文章通顺，语言流畅，句式变化多样；用词面较宽；虽有个别不妥之处，但该生基本功较好；表达能力较强；长度符合要求。
（2）
Isawapicturerecentlyinyournewspaper.Thereisasmalllampinthepictureandaflameonthelamp,whichissmiling.Thelampsays,“Loveisalamp,itwillbebrightestinthedarkestplace.”Ithinkitshowsusavividpicture:
Whereandwhoneedlive,loveisthenoblestfeeling.SoIbelievethatweshouldgiveourlovetothosewhoareinneed.Ifeveryonecangivehislovetowhominneed,thentheworldwillbefilledwithlove.
Forexample,inthecountryside.Therearemillionsofpupils,whocan'taffordtoattendschool.Someofthemneverattendschool.Theyareunfortunate,butnowtherearemanywarm-heartedpeoplewhogivehelptothepupils.Ofcourse,wecanalsoshowourloveinmanyotherways.Forinstance.Asafriend,weshouldhelpourfriendswhentheyareintrouble.Thereisasaying.Afriendinneedisafriendindeed.Asayoungman,weshouldrespecttheolder.Whenwewalkonthestreet,wecanhelptheblindoroldpeopleandchildrentocrosstheroad.
Inaword,Therearemanywaystoshowourlove.Thepeopleallovertheworldshouldloveandrespecteachother.Thebestwaytoshowourloveistohelpotherswhentheyareindifficulties.
16分。
内容切题，包括题中所列三方面的全部内容；表达基本清楚，文字连贯；句式变化较多；结构与用词有少量一般性错误；长度符合要求。
（3）
Asisshowninthepicture,wecanseeclearlythatloveislikealampandthedarkertheenvironmentis,thebrighterloveis.Anditisnodenyingthatamongalltheworthyfeelingsofmankind,loveisthenoblest.Actually,becauseoflove,manypeopleintroublegethelpandencourage,sotheywilltrytheirbesttoovertakethedifficultyandlookforwardtoabetterfuture.What'smore,whenothersareintrouble,theytakehelpingthemforgranted.Therefore,lovewillbefoundallovertheworld.
Severalyearsago,someareassufferdisasterbecauseofheavyrain.ThePLAhelpthemrebuildtheirfamilies.Thisyear,Taiwanalsosufferdisasterbecauseoftheearthquake.Manypeopleinourcountrydoourbesttohelpthem.
Itisnecessarytotakesomemeasuretospreadthelove.Foronething,weshouldencouragepeoplewhohaveloveandarehappytohelpothers.Foranother,weshouldenhancetheawarenessofpeoplethatloveisbenefitforallofthissociety.AlsoImakesurethatbythisway,wehaveabrighterfuture.
12分。
内容切题，包括题中所列三方面的全部内容；表达基本清楚；但结构与用词错误较多，有少数严重错误；长度符合要求。
（4）
Thispicturetellsusarealitythatlovecanbringuplightingandthelightwillmakeeverywherebright.Althoughthelightisweak,itplaysagreateffectwhichwillmakepeoplemorefirmlythanbefore.
WhenIwasatmiddle-school,myparentwerebothoutofemployee.MyparentfeltdisappointedandIwasgreatlyworriedmyfuture.Ourlifebecameveryterrible,Ievendecidedtosuicide.Ourneighborlearntaboutmyfamily'scondition,andtheybegantohelpus.Theylentafewmoneytomyparentandmyparentusethesemoneytoopenashop.Theyhelpmetostudy.Myparentfinallygotthroughhardlife.SoIsaythatloveisgreat.
Ithinkthattherearesomewaystoshowlove.Youmaygivemoneytothepoorandhelptheolddosomeworkingandgiveyour'lovetothedisable.Thebestwayshowloveisfromheartratherthanfromappearance.Bythiswaythosepeoplewhoacceptedhelpswillfeelwarmly.Ourworldwillbrightifeveryoneshowlove.
8分。
内容切题，包括题中所列要点；语句尚可理解，但结构与用词错误多；有些是严重错误；长度基本符合要求。
【实例2】（2003年考研英语作文，满分20分。
）
Directions:
1）describethesetofdrawings,Interpretitsmeaning,and
2）pointoutitsimplicationsinourlife.
Youshouldwriteabout200wordsneatlyonANSWERSHEET2.
【范文及评分】
（1）
Thetwopicturedescribetheflowerinthewarm-roomcan'tendurethebadinvirnmental.Itismostlikelythatthedrawerintendsnotonlytotellusthefactbuttosetusthinkingwhatisundertheiceberg.
Forthetimebeing.TheentranceofWTOhasbecomethehottopic.DifferentpeoplehavedifferentideaabouttheentranceofWTO,thereareadvantagesanddisadvantages.TherearesomepossiblereasonswhyChinaimportantreasonforthisissue.ThemostimportantreasonisthatthedevelopmentofChinacan'tleavenation'seconomicwillstopdevelopingandwillnothaveachancetotakepartintheworldeconomic.AnotherreasonforjoiningWTOisthattheentranceofWTOcouldbeofgreatbenefittoournation.
Ofcourse.Thecoinhastwosides.TheentranceofWTOhasotherharmfulaspects,buttosomeextent.Ithasmoreadvantages.Ifwecan'ttakepatinWTO,ourcountrywilllostthechancethatenhanceourpowerofcompetition.Inmyopinion,ournationshouldbetakeeffectmeasuretoavoidtheharmfulaspectsbyourselves
所述内容与题目无关，是属生搬硬套事先准备的句子。
该题得分0分，原因是文不对题。
[提示]考生不要死记硬背范文。
当然，背诵优美的句子，学习好的表达方式是应该的。
但是，考生应该活学活用，而不是生搬硬套。
（2）
Asisshowbythetwopictures.Aflowerwascowerdwithroom.Itwasrainingoutoftheroom.Thesecondpicture,Thereisonlyonedeadflower.It'sclear,Ifmovethefloweroutoftheroom,Thattheserverereforestationresultedtheflower,dead.
Obviously,Thedawer,Throughtthetwopictures,Aimsatrevealingtoustheseriousqus-tions,Thechildrenliketheflower.
Tosolveteproblem,Ithinktheteacherandtheparentsandsocietymakeasustainedefort.Theteacherandtheparentssouldnotonlymakeplansbutalsoensurerationalstudylessonsofthechildren.Asdorthebreadmassesofthepeople,Theyshouldfullyimportantthequestion.Inaword,Iftheteacherandparentsandscocietyhavereallylali/esedandworkedonit,Thereiscertaintobeanencouragingrespectinchildrenglowing.
条理不清，词不达意；语句错误多且严重，句子基本上无法理解；字数不足。
得分2分。
（3）
Theflowerinwarmhousecan’tstandonrainandwind.Therearetwopictures,oneissaidthataflowercan’tbehurtbyrainandwind,shegrowswonderful.Theotherpictureissaidthat,theflowerwastookoutofthewarmhourse.thenshedied.
Thetwopicturestellusaturth,ourchildrenliketheflower.Theybeautifulandlovely.Theyhavealotoftimeandchange.Theyhavethefuture.Parentslovetheirchrildrensomuchthattheykeepthemundertheirarms.
Buttheydon'tknowtheirchirldrenwillnevergrownuplikethis.Whentheygointothesociality.Theywillfinditwassoweakthemselffordoinganythink.Liketheflowerinthewarmhousewasbringout.Ifmannoexperienceasachild,hecannotalmostlymakesuccesses.Noprogressforhim.Heisfailinstudyandwork.
Inmyopinion,parentsshouldgivethefreespacetotheirchirldren.Theymustlearnedsovlingproblemsbythemselfandfacetoeverydifficultiesinbrave.Chirdrencangrowbetterbythemselftheywillbesthrongandhealthe.
基本包括题目要求的内容，句子可以理解，但语言错误较多。
得分6分，分数主要丢在语言表达的问题上，如：
有较多的语法和拼写错误，还有一些汉语式的表达。
（4）
Theflowergrowinginthewarmhousecan'tbearrainingday.Therehasbeenadiscussionrecentlyaboutapictures—theflowergrowinginthewarmhousecan'tbearrainingday.Therearemanypersepectivesaboutthepicture.
Iamattractedataglanceofaflowerwhichisgrowinghealthily.Lookingatitcarefully,Ifindtheflowerisprotectedfromtherainoutsidethewarmhouse.Whenthewarmhouseisremoved,theflowerisgoingtobedead.Itlookssoslightthatcouldn'tstandupintherainingday
Simplydesignedasthepictureis,thesymbolicmeaningthepictureconveysisdeepandprofound.Bydrawingthepicture,theartistintendsn
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