personal statement 留学文书写作培训教材.docx

personal statement 留学文书写作培训教材.docx

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personalstatement留学文书写作培训教材

personalstatement留学文书写作培训教材

byDr.MarilynWinkleby,Founder,SMYSP

原文地址：

http:

//med.stanford.edu/school/smysp/nojava/prepare/writing.html

本文为斯坦福大学SMYSP项目对如何写作Essay的建议，具体详细阐述了应该注意的方方面面的咨询题

Whatisthepurposeofyourcollegeessay?

目的：

突出特色

Collegesmayaskforageneralessayorgiveyouspecificquestionstoanswer.Thesuggestionsbelowapplytoeither.

Eachcollegehasateamoftrainedreaders,severalofwhomwillusuallyreadandscoreyouressayindependently.Readersareoftenprofessionalstafffromthecollege,butmayalsoincludefacultymembers,highschoolteachers,andcounselors.ThesereadersarenottestingyouonwritingabilityorEnglishskills.Theysimplywanttolearnmoreaboutyouonapersonallevel.However,awell-writtenessaywillimpressthereadersoinvesttimeinediting,andcheckingyourgrammarandspelling.

Whatmakesagoodessay?

好文章什么样？

体现你的生活经历，爱好，个性等。

Youressayshouldshowthedepthofyourinterestsandaccomplishments,andqualityofyourcharacter.Nomatterwhatexperiencesyouchoosetowriteabout,youshouldelaborateontheinsightsthatyougainedfromtheexperiencesandonthewaystheexperiencesinfluencedyourlife.Readerswanttolearnhowexperienceschangedyourattitudesorbeliefs,influencedyouracademicsorextracurricularactivities,orclarifiedyoureducationalgoals.

Belowaresomegeneralsuggestionsaswellasspecificsuggestionsthatmayhelpyouwriteanessaythatmakesyoustandoutasagreatapplicant.

Generalsuggestions:

1.Checktherules.阅读写作要求，最常见的错误是忽略了要求和格式。

Readtheinstructionsfortheessayinthecollegeapplicationpacket.Oneofthemostcommonmistakesistomissrequirementsaboutthelengthorformattingoftheessay.Remember,almostallcollegeswantyoutosendyouressaywithyourcompletedapplicationform.

2.Startearlyandreviseoften.早动手，多修改。

Youmaywanttobeginbywritingdownmanythoughtsandthenselectingthemostimportant.Or,youmayprefertomakeanoutlineandexpanditaccordingtothelengthrequirements.Bepreparedtowriteatleast10draftsandtohaveseveralpeoplereaddraftsatdifferentstagesinyourwriting.Thesepeopleshouldknowyouonapersonallevel.

Onceyouhavereadandrevisedyouressayseveraltimes,putitawayforaweekorso.（Ifyoustartedearly,youshouldn'tbetooclosetothedeadlineyet!

）Aftertherestperiod,thinkagainaboutwhatyouwanttheadmissionscommitteetoknowaboutyou.Writethisdown,thentakeoutyouressayandreaditagain.Doesitconveywhatyouwanttosay?

Ifnot,youmayhavetostartalloveragainorcutoutlargepartsofyourfirstdraft.Thisisokay--writingrequiresflexibility,andsometimesyouwillhavetoeliminatethingsthatyoulikedbecausetheydon'trelatetoyouroverallmessage.

3.Beclearandfocused.清晰，集中。

应该是一个连贯的故事。

4.Bedistinctive.有特色的东西

Writeanessaythatdistinguishesyoufromotherapplicants.Avoidwritingsentencesthatanotherapplicantcouldwrite.Anyapplicantcouldwrite,"Ihavealwayswantedtogotocollegetofurthermyeducation,"or"Ihavealwayswantedtobeadoctor."Thefollowingsentenceismorepersonalandgivesinsightintoanapplicant抯background:

"IfirstbecameinterestedinbecomingadoctorwhenDaniel,mylittlebrother,washospitalizedforaninfectedfootafterhegotcaughtonabarbedwirefencewhilebeingchasedbyabull."

5.Bespecific.具体

Thiswillhelpthereaderrememberyou.Supposeyouarewritingaboutapatientyoumetduringyourvolunteerworkataninnercityhospital.Ratherthanwriting,"Onepatientmadealastingimpressiononme,"providemoredetailsandwrite,"AyoungLatinawomanwhohadbeenburnedinacaraccidentmadealastingimpressiononmeandinfluencedmyfuturecareergoals."Or,ifyouarewritingaboutateacherwhowasinstrumentalinencouragingyoutoapplytocollege,youmightwrite,"Mr.Wright,myhighschoolbiologyteacher,wasthefirsttosuggestthatImightattendcollege."

Avoiddetailsthataresuperficialtoyourpoint,suchas,"Mr.Wright,myhighschoolbiologyteacher,noticedmyintenseinterestinscienceduringmysophomoreyearandtookmeasideoneafternoontotalkwithme.HewasthefirsttosuggestthatImightattendcollegeandencouragedmetotakeclassesinbiology,chemistry,physics,andothersciences."

6.Includepowerfulexperiences.专门的个人经历

Includepersonalexperiencesthatwillleavethereaderwithstrongimages,especiallyonesthathaveinfluencedyoureducationorcareergoals.Theexperiencecanbetoldinseveralsentences,butitshouldpaintalastingimage.Theseexperiencesmayberelatedtoahardshipyouhaveovercomeoranexperiencethatinfluencedyourlife.Studentshavewrittenabouthowlivinginfostercare,caringforaparentwithaseriousillness,orlivinginarefugeecampcontributedtotheirinitiativeandchangedtheirattitudesaboutanissueorgroupofpeople.OtherstudentshavewrittenabouthowseeingayoungteenagerdiefromAIDSoranelderlypatientlearntospeakafterhavingastrokeinspiredtheircommitmenttopursuingahealthcareer.

7.Beenthusiastic,butreasonable.热情，合乎情理。

Showyourenthusiasm,passionorcommitmentaboutcauses,butbereasonedandlogicalinyourdiscussions.Youmayfeelstronglyaboutahumanrightsorhealthcareissue,suchastheneedforguaranteedhealthcareforallAmericans.Discussyourpersonalviews,providesupportingevidence,andproposehowyouwouldaddresstheproblem,butdosowithout"preaching."

8.Beyourself!

写关于自己的东西

Mostimportantly,behonestandbeyourself!

Admissionsofficerswanttoacceptstudentswhowillbesuccessfulattheirschoolandcontributetoitsenvironment.Theywanttorecruitstudentsfrombackgroundswhowilldiversifytheirstudentbodyandifyousoundliketheirtypeofcandidate,thenitwillbeanadvantageoussituationforbothyouandthecollege!

9.Reviewyourfinalversioncarefully.

Whenyouhavecompletedthefinalversionofyouressay,readitcarefullyandask:

Isthereastrongintroductionthatsetsthestageforamemorableessay?

当写完了之后，应该看看是否有好的开头

Isthetopicsentenceofeachparagraphclearanddotherestofthesentences每段第一句是否清晰

theparagraphsupportthetopicsentence?

Areallofmythoughtsconnectedinalogicalfashion?

是否有逻辑

Istheessayfocusedandcohesive?

是否比较集中

Doesmyuniquevoicecomethrough;doestheessaysoundlikeme?

Isthegrammarcorrect?

HaveIdoneafinal"spellcheck"onacomputer?

HaveIre-readthefinalversioncarefullytobesurethe"spellcheck"didn抰

substituteanyincorrectwords?

Asafinalcheck,giveyouressaytoanEnglishteacherorsomeonewithabackgroundingrammarandspellingtomakesurethatyouhaven'tmadeanyavoidablemistakes.

And,besuretokeepaprintedcopyofyourfinalversion.

Specificsuggestionsaboutyouressay:

具体建议

1.Academicpreparationandscholarlyexperiences.

Youcanuseyouressaytoexplainanyacademicchallengesyouhavefacedandwhy--andthusprovidereasonsforanylowgrades.Youmightmentionhowyouhadlimitedtimetofocusonschoolbecauseyouwereworkingtocontributetoyourfamily'sincome.Anyexamplesuchasthisshouldemphasizewhatyoulearnedfromtheexperienceandhowyouintendtousethisknowledgetohelpyousucceedincollege.

Youcanalsouseyouressaytoexplainanyinstanceswhereyouhavesoughteducationalopportunities.Ifyourhighschoolhadalimitednumberofadvancedcollegepreparatoryclassesbesuretomentionthis.Becauseofthis,perhapsyouweremotivatedtodoindependentreadingonyourownortakeclassesatyourlocalcommunitycollege.Thisshowsyourinitiativeandyourseriousnessaboutyoureducation.

2.Lifeexperiences.个人经历

Taketimetoreflectonyourlife,identifyingsomekeyaspectsofyourchildhoodandadolescence,aswellaspersonalchallengesyoumayhaveovercome.Somestudentsarehesitanttosharetheirpersonalexperiences,buttheseareexactlywhattheadmissionscommitteewantstosee.Thereadersareespeciallyinterestedinyourexperiencesbecausetheyreflecttheuniqueaspectsofyourlife.Youmightbeginbydescribingobstaclesorbarriersthatyouexperiencedtohighereducationandthendescribehowthesecircumstancesshapedyourfuturedecisionsandstrengthenedyourdesiretoattendcollege.

Ifyouarefirstinyourfamilytoattendcollege,besuretomentionthis,sinceyourpathtocollegehasbeenmorechallenginganddifferentfromastudentwhoseparentsarecollegeeducated.

Relateyourlifeexperiencestoyouracademicandcareergoals,asyouweaveyourexperiencestogetherinyouressay.Forexample,didafamilyhardshipmakeyoumoreresilientormoresensitivetoothersorleadtoyourinterestinhealth?

Perhapscaringforayoungrelativewhohadlungcancermadeyouawareofthedangersofsmokingandledyoutowriteasciencereportaboutthepromotionofcigarettestoyouth.Thiscontributedtoyourinterestinhealthcarepolicyandselectionofacollegethatoffersfieldexperiences,suchasthosewithhealthadvocacygroups.

4.Character.

Writingaboutyourpersonalbackgroundgivesyouthechancetoshareaspectsofyourcharacterthathavehelpedyouthroughdifficultlifeexperiences.Theepisodesyoudiscussshouldillustratepositiveaspectsofyourcharacter,suchasdetermination,initiative,compassion,orleadership.Perhapsyousufferfromaphysicalhandicap.Thishasledtoacompassionforthosewithchronicinjuriesthatyoupursuedbyvolunteeringatarehabilitationhospital.Thissolidifiedyourcommitmenttoworkingwithdisabledpeopleaspartofyourcareer.

5.Humanitarianism/caringexper