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referencefordiscussionworkaholic
Itisdangeroustobeaworkaholic.Althoughyoumayfinishalotofwork,youmayendangeryourmarriage,ruinyourrelationshipswithyourchildren,getburntout,andendupinanearlygrave.Ifyouwanttimetoliveamoreenjoyable,meaningfullife,thefollowingstepswillpointtheway.
Steps
1.Changeyourvaluessothatworkisnolongerthemostimportantthinginyourlife.Unlessyouaretrulyconvincedinyourheartthattherearesomeotherthingsmorevaluablethanwork,itisunlikelytheotherstepswillbeeffective.Youwon'tbeabletosay“No”toovertimeunlessyouaresincerelysaying“Yes”tosomethingyoutrulydesire.Askyourselfifyouvalueanyofthefollowingenoughtogivethemhigherprioritythanyourwork:
oYourfamily.Isyourworksoimportantthatyouwouldratherriskadivorceandwreckyourrelationshipwithyourchildrenratherthancutbackonyourwork?
oYourhealth.Areyouwillingtogetastress-relateddiseaseandpossiblydiebeforeretirementbecauseyourworkissoimportant?
oEnjoymentandpeaceofmind.Workaholicsoftenclaimtheyworksomuchbecausetheyenjoytheirwork.Butifyoufocusononlyonetypeofenjoyment,youarelikelytomissoutonthehappinessandpeaceofmindthatcomewithamorebalancedlifestyle,withtimetonurturemeaningfulrelationshipsandsavorsimplepleasures.
oPleasingGod.SomepeopleworkveryhardbecausetheyfeelGodhascalledthemtothisworkanditisofeternalsignificance.Ifthatdescribesyou,meditateonthesewordsfromtheBible:
“Cometome,allwhoarewearyandheavy-laden,andIwillgiveyourest.”Thissuggeststhatifyouareworkingtoohard,itisnotbecausethatiswhatGodwantsforyou.Ratheryouareprobablydoingitbecauseoftheexpectationsofotherpeopleoryourowndesires.
oMoney.What'sthepointofhavingsomuchwealthifyoudon'thavetimetoenjoyit?
Ifyouaredoingitforthesakeofthoseyoulove,rememberthatthegiftoftimeisworthmorethanthegiftofmoney.
oOnceyouhaveafirmdeterminationtotackleyourworkaddiction,thefollowingstepscanhelp:
2.Evaluatetheimpactofthevarioustypesofworkyoudo.Cutbackonworkwhichgivesrelativelylittlebenefitforthetimeinvested.Foranyitemofworkyoutakeon,askyourself:
“Howmanypeoplewillgetasignificantbenefitfromthis?
Howmanypeopleareeagerlywaitingformetofinishthis?
”Iftheansweris,“Hardlyanyone”thinktwiceorthreetimesaboutwhetheryoushouldreallydoit,orcontinuewithit.
3.Limitthenumberofworkassignmentsyouaccept.Finishoneitemofworkbeforestartinganotherone.Don'tfeelthatyouhavetofinisheveryitemofworkthatyouhavestarted.Justbecauseyou'vealreadywastedalotoftimeonapieceofwork,itdoesn'tmeanyouhavetowastemore.Don'tthrowgoodtimeafterbad.
oIfyouhavetroubleturningdownassignments,youmaybenefitfromreadingHowtoStopBeingaPeoplePleaserandHowtoBreakthe"NiceGuy"Stereotype.
4.Limittheamountoftimeyouspendworking.Setasideonedayoftheweek,suchasSunday,asadayofrest.Bestrictwithyourselfinnotworkingonthatday.Ifthecomputerisyourmainworktool,trynottousethecomputeratallonyourrestday.Setofficehoursforyourself,outsideofwhichyoudon'tallowyourselftowork.Forexample,noworkbefore8a.m.orafter7p.m.
5.Beflexibleaboutwhenyouaimtofinishapieceofwork.Ifotherpeoplesetdeadlinesforyou,sobeit.Buttrynottosetdeadlinesforyourself.Don'tdotodaywhatyoucanreasonablyputoffuntiltomorrow.
6.Whenappropriate,limitthequalityofworkyouaimtoachieve.Don'talwaysaimforsuperhighqualityworkwhenitisn'tnecessarytoachievethepurposeofthework.AsChestertonsaid,“Ifathingisworthdoing,itisworthdoingbadly.”Especiallyifthatfreesuptimetodosomethingelseevenmoreworthwhile.SeeHowtoControlPerfectionism.
7.Beefficientintheworkyoudo.Ifyoucanbehighlyproductiveinarelativelyshorttime,youcanuseyourachievementtocalmyourworkaholicconscienceandallowyourselftorelaxoutsideyoursetworktime.Ifyoustopbeingaworkaholic,itdoesn'tmeanyoucan'tworkhard,workefficiently,andaimforexcellentquality.Butyousetsensiblelimitsonyourworksothatitdoesn'teatuptherestofyourlife.SeeHowtoWorkSmart,NotHard.
8.Meditateonthis:
Howmanypeoplesayontheirdeathbed,“IwishI'dspentmoretimeintheoffice.”Makeitahabittoperiodicallyaskyourself,throughouttheday,"IfIdiedinmysleeptonight,wouldIbehappywiththewayIspentmyday?
"Assomberasitmaysound,lookingatyourlifefromtheperspectiveofyourdeathbedcanjoltyourprioritiesintoplace.
Tips
Developadailyorweeklyroutineofnon-workactivities,soyoulearntoenjoythingsotherthanwork.Thesecouldincluderegularexercise,prayerormeditation,readingrelaxingorupliftingbooks,listeningtoorplayingmusic,orwatchingfilms.It'shelpfultohavearegularcommitmenttodoingsomethinginvolvingotherpeople,suchasgoingforawalktogether,playinggames,meetingforcoffee,callingorvisitingfamilymembersorclosefriends,orhavinganightout.Butbewareoftryingtopackintoomanyextraactivities,withtheresultthatyournon-worktimeendsupasbusyasyourworktime.
Ifyouwakeuptooearlyinthemorning,don'tgetupanddosomethinguseful.Justliequietlyrestingonyourbed.Afteranhour,youmaygobacktosleepagain.Ifnot,youhavestillallowedyourbodytogetneededrest.
Payseriousattentiontoyourspouse/partner/parent/child/closefriendwhentheyurgeyounottoworksohard.
Trainyourselftorespondpositivelytointerruptions.Ifthepurposeofworkistobenefitotherpeople,theneachtimesomeonecomesandinterrupts,youcanregarditasagoldenopportunitytofulfillthatpurposethereandthen
Warnings
Bewareoftimemanagementgurus专家.Althoughtheygivehelpfuladviceaboutworkingefficiently,theirtechniquesoftenencouragethetendencytocraminasmuchusefulworkintoadayaspossible.Whereasasarecoveringworkaholic,youraimistoreduceyourwork,notincreaseit.
Waystoavoidworkaholism
ReaderCarolynrecentlyasked,“Howcananachievement-motivatedworkaholiclearntobackoff,relax,de-stress,andfeelgoodaboutdoingit?
Iamtoodriven!
”
Thisisacommonproblem,andonethathasseveralpartsweshouldlookatseparately:
1.Beingachievement-motivated.
2.Beingaworkaholic.
3.Learningtorelaxandde-stress.
4.Learningtofeelgoodaboutit.
Let’sstartbysayingthatthere’snothinginherentlywrongwithwork—itcanbefun,exciting,fulfilling,rewarding.IlovemyworkinawayIneverdidformostofmylife,untilafewyearsago,andworkisonethingIlivefor,thatIjumpoutofbedeachmorningtodo.
However,thereaderrecognizesthatthere’smoretolifethanwork,andthatrelaxingisimportant,andthatstressisamajorproblem.Whenworktakesoveryourlifeandcausesproblems—withyourrelationships,health,happiness—thenit’stimetostepbackandfigureoutabetterway.
Eachpersonneedstofigureoutwhatthatbetterwayis,andIcan’tofferonesolutiontofitall,butherearesomethoughtsonthefourpartsoftheproblemoutlinedabove.
1.Stopbeingachievement-motivated.
There’snothingwrongwithachievementsorbeingproudofthem—it’sanaturalthingtofeelgoodaboutwhatyou’veaccomplished.Butitshouldn’tbetheonlythingthatmotivatesyou.
What’sabettermotivation?
Doingthingsyoulove,creatingsomethinggreat,beingwithpeopleyoulove,doingthingsthatareexciting.
Ifyourworkissomethingyoulove,somethingthatexcitesyou,that’sgreat.You’rebetteroffthanmost,actually.Butthere’sgottabemore—whatelsegivesyoujoy?
Doyouhavehobbiesyoulove?
Doyoulikedoinganythingoutdoors?
Doyouhavefamilymembersorfriendsyoulove?
Figureout4-5thingsthattrulymakeyouhappyandexciteyou—atleastoneofthemshouldbeapersonorpersons,andoneoftheothersmustbenon-work-related.Youneedsomebalanceinyourlife.
Getexcitedaboutthesethings,andbemotivatedbyyourloveforthem.Ifyouhaveaspouseandkids,forexample,letyourlifebemotivatedwiththethoughtofspendingtimewiththem.
2.Stopbeingaworkaholic.
What’saworkaholic?
Someonewhooverdoeswork—longhours,can’tstopworkingevenatnight,obsessedwithwork,tothedetrimentofotherpartsofhislife.
Ifthisisyou,youmightneedhelp—beyondthehelpIcangiveyouinanarticle.Youmightneedtoreachouttofamilymembers,toatherapist,toagroup(onlineoroff).There’snoshameinthis—sometimesthisiswhat’sneededtoconqueranaddiction.
Butifyouaren’tsofargone,youmightbeabletoimplementafewstepstostopfromworkingsomuch.
First,stopworkingafteracertaintime—say5or6p.m.Makethisahardline:
tellyourofficenottocallyouafterthistime,anddon’ttakeyourworkhome.Oncetheclockhitsthistime,you’redonefortheday.Therestcanwaituntiltomorrow.
Second,don’tcheckemailordootherwork-relatedcommunicationafterthispoint.TurnofftheBlackberry(黑莓手机)oriPhone,eventurnoffthecomputerathome,anddosomethingelse.Alsodon’ttakeyourmobiledevicestonon-workeventssuchasvacations,yourkids’activities,familypartiesandsoforth.
Third,scheduleotherthingsintoyourlife.Exercisewithafriendafterwork.Makedateswithyourpartner.Takeyourkidtosoccerpractice.Setasidetimeforabelovedhobby.Thesethingswillstopyoufromworking.
Thisshouldbegoodtostartyouout.Theotherstepsarebelow,bu