Go to Paris happy holiday.docx

Go to Paris happy holiday.docx

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himready.AndsoSirMarhausaroseandarmedhim,andtherewasamasssungaforehim,andhebrakehisfast,andsomountedonhorsebackinthecourtofthecastle,theretheyshoulddothebattle.Sotherewasthedukealreadyonhorseback,cleanarmed,andhissixsonsbyhim,andeveryeachhadaspearinhishand,andsotheyencountered,whereasthedukeandhistwosonsbraketheirspearsuponhim,butSirMarhaushelduphisspearandtouchednoneofthem.Thencamethefoursonsbycouples,andtwoofthembraketheirspears,andsodidtheothertwo.AndallthiswhileSirMarhaustouchedthemnot.ThenSirMarhausrantotheduke,andsmotehimwithhisspearthathorseandmanfelltotheearth.Andsoheservedhissons.AndthenSirMarhausalightdown,andbadthedukeyieldhimorelsehewouldslayhim.Andthensomeofhissonsrecovered,andwouldhavesetuponSirMarhaus.ThenSirMarhaussaidtotheduke,Ceasethysons,orelseIwilldotheuttermosttoyouall.Whenthedukesawhemightnotescapethedeath,hecriedtohissons,andchargedthemtoyieldthemtoSirMarhaus.Andtheykneeledalldownandputthepommelsoftheirswordstotheknight,andsohereceivedthem.Andthentheyholpuptheirfather,andsobytheircommonassentpromiseduntoSirMarhausnevertobefoesuntoKingArthur,andthereuponatWhitsuntideafter,tocomeheandhissons,andputthemintheking'sgrace.*

　　[*Footnote:

Thestoryisborrowed,languageandall,fromtheMorted'Arthur.--M.T.]

　　"Evensostandeththehistory,fairSirBoss.NowyeshallwitthatthatverydukeandhissixsonsaretheywhombutfewdayspastyoualsodidovercomeandsendtoArthur'scourt!

"

　　"Why,Sandy,youcan'tmeanit!

"

　　"AnIspeaknotsooth,letitbetheworseforme."

　　"Well,well,well,--nowwhowouldeverhavethoughtit?

Onewholedukeandsixdukelets;why,Sandy,itwasaneleganthaul.Knight-errantryisamostchuckle-headedtrade,anditistedioushardwork,too,butIbegintoseethatthereISmoneyinit,afterall,ifyouhaveluck.NotthatIwouldeverengageinitasabusiness,forIwouldn't.Nosoundandlegitimatebusinesscanbeestablishedonabasisofspeculation.Asuccessfulwhirlintheknight-errantryline--nowwhatisitwhenyoublowawaythenonsenseandcomedowntothecoldfacts?

It'sjustacornerinpork,that'sall,andyoucan'tmakeanythingelseoutofit.You'rerich--yes,--suddenlyrich--foraboutaday,maybeaweek;thensomebodycornersthemarketonYOU,anddowngoesyourbucketshop;ain'tthatso,Sandy?

"

　　"Whethersoeveritbethatmymindmiscarrieth,bewrayingsimplelanguageinsuchsortthatthewordsdoseemtocomeendlongandoverthwart--"

　　"There'snouseinbeatingaboutthebushandtryingtogetarounditthatway,Sandy,it'sSO,justasIsay.IKNOWit'sso.And,moreover,whenyoucomerightdowntothebedrock,knight-errantryisWORSEthanpork;forwhateverhappens,thepork'sleft,andsosomebody'sbenefitedanyway;butwhenthemarketbreaks,inaknight-errantrywhirl,andeveryknightinthepoolpassesinhischecks,whathaveyougotforassets?

Justarubbish-pileofbatteredcorpsesandabarrelortwoofbustedhardware.CanyoucallTHOSEassets?

Givemepork,everytime.AmIright?

"

　　"Ah,peradventuremyheadbeingdistraughtbythemanifoldmatterswhereuntotheconfusionsofthesebutlateadventuredhapsandfortuningswherebynotIalonenoryoualone,buteveryeachofus,meseemeth--"

　　"No,it'snotyourhead,Sandy.Yourhead'sallright,asfarasitgoes,butyoudon'tknowbusiness;that'swherethetroubleis.Itunfitsyoutoargueaboutbusiness,andyou'rewrongtobealwaystrying.However,thataside,itwasagoodhaul,anyway,andwillbreedahandsomecropofreputationinArthur'scourt.Andspeakingofthecowboys,whatacuriouscountrythisisforwomenandmenthatnevergetold.Nowthere'sMorganleFay,asfreshandyoungasaVassarpullet,toallappearances,andhereisthisolddukeoftheSouthMarchesstillslashingawaywithswordandlanceathistimeoflife,afterraisingsuchafamilyashehasraised.AsIunderstandit,SirGawainekilledsevenofhissons,andstillhehadsixleftforSirMarhaus

MADAME,seeingmepacificandunresentful,nodoubtjudgedthatIwasdeceivedbyherexcuse;forherfrightdissolvedaway,andshewassoonsoimportunatetohavemegiveanexhibitionandkillsomebody,thatthethinggrewtobeembarrassing.However,tomyreliefshewaspresentlyinterruptedbythecalltoprayers.Iwillsaythismuchforthenobility:

that,tyrannical,murderous,rapacious,andmorallyrottenastheywere,theyweredeeplyandenthusiasticallyreligious.NothingcoulddivertthemfromtheregularandfaithfulperformanceofthepietiesenjoinedbytheChurch.MorethanonceIhadseenanoblewhohadgottenhisenemyatadisadvantage,stoptopraybeforecuttinghisthroat;morethanonceIhadseenanoble,afterambushinganddespatchinghisenemy,retiretothenearestwaysideshrineandhumblygivethanks,withoutevenwaitingtorobthebody.TherewastobenothingfinerorsweeterinthelifeofevenBenvenutoCellini,thatrough-hewnsaint,tencenturieslater.AllthenoblesofBritain,withtheirfamilies,attendeddivineservicemorningandnightdaily,intheirprivatechapels,andeventheworstofthemhadfamilyworshipfiveorsixtimesadaybesides.ThecreditofthisbelongedentirelytotheChurch.AlthoughIwasnofriendtothatCatholicChurch,Iwasobligedtoadmitthis.Andoften,inspiteofme,Ifoundmyselfsaying,"WhatwouldthiscountrybewithouttheChurch?

"

　　Afterprayerswehaddinnerinagreatbanquetinghallwhichwaslightedbyhundredsofgrease-jets,andeverythingwasasfineandlavishandrudelysplendidasmightbecometheroyaldegreeofthehosts.Attheheadofthehall,onadais,wasthetableoftheking,queen,andtheirson,PrinceUwaine.Stretchingdownthehallfromthis,wasthegeneraltable,onthefloor.Atthis,abovethesalt,satthevisitingnoblesandthegrownmembersoftheirfamilies,ofbothsexes,--theresidentCourt,ineffect--sixty-onepersons;belowthesaltsatminorofficersofthehousehold,withtheirprincipalsubordinates:

altogetherahundredandeighteenpersonssitting,andaboutasmanyliveriedservantsstandingbehindtheirchairs,orservinginonecapacityoranother.Itwasaveryfineshow.Inagalleryabandwithcymbals,horns,harps,andotherhorrors,openedtheproceedingswithwhatseemedtobethecrudefirst-draftororiginalagonyofthewailknowntolatercenturiesas"IntheSweetByeandBye."Itwasnew,andoughttohavebeenrehearsedalittlemore.Forsomereasonorotherthequeenhadthecomposerhanged,afterdinner.

　　Afterthismusic,thepriestwhostoodbehindtheroyaltablesaidanoblelonggraceinostensibleLatin.Thenthebattalionofwaitersbrokeawayfromtheirposts,anddarted,rushed,flew,fetchedandcarried,andthemightyfeedingbegan;nowordsanywhere,butabsorbingattentiontobusiness.Therowsofchopsopenedandshutinvastunison,andthesoundofitwasliketothemuffledburrofsubterraneanmachinery.

　　Thehavoccontinuedanhourandahalf,andunimaginablewasthedestructionofsubstantials.Ofthechieffeatureofthefeast--thehugewildboarthatlaystretchedoutsoportlyandimposingatthestart--nothingwasleftbutthesemblanceofahoop-skirt;andhewasbutthetypeandsymbolofwhathadhappenedtoalltheotherdishes.

　　Withthepastriesandsoon,theheavydrinkingbegan--andthetalk.Gallonaftergallonofwineandmeaddisappeared,andeverybodygotcomfortable,thenhappy,thensparklinglyjoyous--bothsexes,--andbyandbyprettynoisy.Mentoldanecdotesthatwereterrifictohear,butnobodyblushed;andwhenthenubwassprung,theassemblageletgowithahorse-laughthatshookthefortress.LadiesansweredbackwithhistoriettesthatwouldalmosthavemadeQueenMargaretofNavarreoreventhegreatElizabethofEnglandhidebehindahandkerchief,butnobodyhidhere,butonlylaughed--howled,youmaysay.Inprettymuchallofthesedreadfulstories,ecclesiasticswerethehardyheroes,butthatdidn'tworrythechaplainany,hehadhislaughwiththerest;morethanthat,uponinvitationheroaredoutasongwhichwasofasdaringasortasanythatwassungthatnight.

　　Bymidnighteverybodywasfaggedout,andsorewithlaughing;and,asarule,drunk:

someweepingly,someaffectionately,somehilariously,somequarrelsomely,somedeadandunderthetable.Oftheladies,theworstspectaclewasalovelyyoungduchess,whosewedding-evethiswas;andindeedshewasaspectacle,sureenough.JustasshewasshecouldhavesatinadvancefortheportraitoftheyoungdaughteroftheRegentd'Orleans,atthefamousdinnerwhenceshewascarried,foul-mouthed,intoxicated,andhelpless,toherbed,inthelostandlamenteddaysoftheAncientRegime.

　　Suddenly,evenwhilethepriestwasliftinghishands,andallconsciousheadswerebowedinreverentexpectationofthecomingblessing,thereappearedunderthearchofthefar-offdooratthebottomofthehallanoldandbentandwhite-hairedlady,leaninguponacrutch-stick;andsheliftedthestickandpointedittowardthequeenandcriedout:

　　"ThewrathandcurseofGodfalluponyou,womanwithoutpity,whohaveslainmineinnocentgrandchildandmadedesolatethisoldheartthathadnorchick,norfriendnorstaynorcomfortinallthisworldbuthim!

"

　　Everybodycrossedhimselfinagrislyfright,foracursewasanawfulthingtothosepeople;butthequeenroseupmajestic,withthedeath-lightinhereye,andflungbackthisruthlesscommand: