布鲁斯法伊勒Bruce Feiler将敏捷开发方法引入家庭.docx
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布鲁斯法伊勒BruceFeiler将敏捷开发方法引入家庭
布鲁斯法伊勒(BruceFeiler)将敏捷开发方法引入家庭
Sohere'sthegoodnewsaboutfamilies.Thelast50yearshaveseenarevolutioninwhatitmeanstobeafamily.Wehaveblendedfamilies,adoptedfamilies,wehavenuclearfamilieslivinginseparatehousesanddivorcedfamilieslivinginthesamehouse.Butthroughitall,thefamilyhasgrownstronger.Eightin10saythefamilytheyhavetodayisasstrongorstrongerthanthefamilytheygrewupin.
Now,here'sthebadnews.Nearlyeveryoneiscompletelyoverwhelmedbythechaosoffamilylife.EveryparentIknow,myselfincluded,feelslikewe'reconstantlyplayingdefense.Justwhenourkidsstopteething,theystarthavingtantrums.Justwhentheystopneedingourhelptakingabath,theyneedourhelpdealingwithcyberstalkingorbullying.
Andhere'stheworstnewsofall.Ourchildrensensewe'reoutofcontrol.EllenGalinskyoftheFamiliesandWorkInstituteasked1,000children,"Ifyouweregrantedonewishaboutyourparents,whatwoulditbe?
"Theparentspredictedthekidswouldsay,spendingmoretimewiththem.Theywerewrong.Thekids'numberonewish?
Thattheirparentsbelesstiredandlessstressed.
Sohowcanwechangethisdynamic?
Arethereconcretethingswecandotoreducestress,drawourfamilycloser,andgenerallyprepareourchildrentoentertheworld?
Ispentthelastfewyearstryingtoanswerthatquestion,travelingaround,meetingfamilies,talkingtoscholars,expertsrangingfromelitepeacenegotiatorstoWarrenBuffett'sbankerstotheGreenBerets.Iwastryingtofigureout,whatdohappyfamiliesdorightandwhatcanIlearnfromthemtomakemyfamilyhappier?
IwanttotellyouaboutonefamilythatImet,andwhyIthinktheyofferclues.At7p.m.onaSundayinHiddenSprings,Idaho,wherethesixmembersoftheStarrfamilyaresittingdowntothehighlightoftheirweek:
thefamilymeeting.TheStarrsarearegularAmericanfamilywiththeirshareofregularAmericanfamilyproblems.Davidisasoftwareengineer.Eleanortakescareoftheirfourchildren,ages10to15.Oneofthosekidstutorsmathonthefarsideoftown.Onehaslacrosseonthenearsideoftown.OnehasAspergersyndrome.OnehasADHD.
"Wewerelivingincompletechaos,"Eleanorsaid.
WhattheStarrsdidnext,though,wassurprising.Insteadofturningtofriendsorrelatives,theylookedtoDavid'sworkplace.Theyturnedtoacutting-edgeprogramcalledagiledevelopmentthatwasjustspreadingfrommanufacturersinJapantostartupsinSiliconValley.Inagile,workersareorganizedintosmallgroupsanddothingsinveryshortspansoftime.Soinsteadofhavingexecutivesissuegrandproclamations,theteamineffectmanagesitself.Youhaveconstantfeedback.Youhavedailyupdatesessions.Youhaveweeklyreviews.You'reconstantlychanging.Davidsaidwhentheybroughtthissystemintotheirhome,thefamilymeetingsinparticularincreasedcommunication,decreasedstress,andmadeeverybodyhappiertobepartofthefamilyteam.WhenmywifeandIadoptedthesefamilymeetingsandothertechniquesintothelivesofourthen-five-year-oldtwindaughters,itwasthebiggestsinglechangewemadesinceourdaughterswereborn.Andthesemeetingshadthiseffectwhiletakingunder20minutes.
SowhatisAgile,andwhycanithelpwithsomethingthatseemssodifferent,likefamilies?
In1983,JeffSutherlandwasatechnologistatafinancialfirminNewEngland.Hewasveryfrustratedwithhowsoftwaregotdesigned.Companiesfollowedthewaterfallmethod,right,inwhichexecutivesissuedordersthatslowlytrickleddowntoprogrammersbelow,andnoonehadeverconsultedtheprogrammers.Eighty-threepercentofprojectsfailed.Theyweretoobloatedortoooutofdatebythetimetheyweredone.Sutherlandwantedtocreateasystemwhereideasdidn'tjustpercolatedownbutcouldpercolateupfromthebottomandbeadjustedinrealtime.Heread30yearsofHarvardBusinessReviewbeforestumblinguponanarticlein1986called"TheNewNewProductDevelopmentGame."Itsaidthatthepaceofbusinesswasquickening--andbytheway,thiswasin1986--andthemostsuccessfulcompanieswereflexible.IthighlightedToyotaandCanonandlikenedtheiradaptable,tight-knitteamstorugbyscrums.AsSutherlandtoldme,wegottothatarticle,andsaid,"That'sit."InSutherland'ssystem,companiesdon'tuselarge,massiveprojectsthattaketwoyears.Theydothingsinsmallchunks.Nothingtakeslongerthantwoweeks.Soinsteadofsaying,"Youguysgooffintothatbunkerandcomebackwithacellphoneorasocialnetwork,"yousay,"Yougooffandcomeupwithoneelement,thenbringitback.Let'stalkaboutit.Let'sadapt."Yousucceedorfailquickly.Today,agileisusedinahundredcountries,andit'ssweepingintomanagementsuites.Inevitably,peoplebegantakingsomeofthesetechniquesandapplyingittotheirfamilies.Youhadblogspopup,andsomemanualswerewritten.EventheSutherlandstoldmethattheyhadanAgileThanksgiving,whereyouhadonegroupofpeopleworkingonthefood,onesettingthetable,andonegreetingvisitorsatthedoor.SutherlandsaiditwasthebestThanksgivingever.
Solet'stakeoneproblemthatfamiliesface,crazymornings,andtalkabouthowagilecanhelp.Akeyplankisaccountability,soteamsuseinformationradiators,theselargeboardsinwhicheverybodyisaccountable.SotheStarrs,inadaptingthistotheirhome,createdamorningchecklistinwhicheachchildisexpectedtotickoffchores.SoonthemorningIvisited,Eleanorcamedownstairs,pouredherselfacupofcoffee,satinarecliningchair,andshesatthere,kindofamiablytalkingtoeachofherchildrenasoneaftertheothertheycamedownstairs,checkedthelist,madethemselvesbreakfast,checkedthelistagain,putthedishesinthedishwasher,recheckedthelist,fedthepetsorwhateverchorestheyhad,checkedthelistoncemore,gatheredtheirbelongings,andmadetheirwaytothebus.ItwasoneofthemostastonishingfamilydynamicsIhaveeverseen.
AndwhenIstrenuouslyobjectedthiswouldneverworkinourhouse,
ourkidsneededwaytoomuchmonitoring,
Eleanorlookedatme.
"That'swhatIthought,"shesaid."ItoldDavid,'keepyourworkoutofmykitchen.'ButIwaswrong."
SoIturnedtoDavid:
"Sowhydoesitwork?
"
Hesaid,"Youcan'tunderestimatethepowerofdoingthis."Andhemadeacheckmark.Hesaid,"Intheworkplace,adultsloveit.Withkids,it'sheaven."
Theweekweintroducedamorningchecklistintoourhouse,itcutparentalscreaminginhalf.(Laughter)Buttherealchangedidn'tcomeuntilwehadthesefamilymeetings.Sofollowingtheagilemodel,weaskthreequestions:
Whatworkedwellinourfamilythisweek,whatdidn'tworkwell,andwhatwillweagreetoworkonintheweekahead?
Everyonethrowsoutsuggestionsandthenwepicktwotofocuson.Andsuddenlythemostamazingthingsstartedcomingoutofourdaughters'mouths.Whatworkedwellthisweek?
Gettingoverourfearofridingbikes.Makingourbeds.Whatdidn'tworkwell?
Ourmathsheets,orgreetingvisitorsatthedoor.Likealotofparents,ourkidsaresomethinglikeBermudaTriangles.Like,thoughtsandideasgoin,butnoneevercomesout,Imeanatleastnotthatarerevealing.Thisgaveusaccesssuddenlytotheirinnermostthoughts.Butthemostsurprisingpartwaswhenweturnedto,whatarewegoingtoworkonintheweekahead?
Youknow,thekeyideaofagileisthatteamsessentiallymanagethemselves,anditworksinsoftwareanditturnsoutthatitworkswithkids.Ourkidslovethisprocess.Sotheywouldcomeupwithalltheseideas.Youknow,greetfivevisitorsatthedoorthisweek,getanextra10minutesofreadingbeforebed.Kicksomeone,losedessertsforamonth.Itturnsout,bytheway,ourgirlsarelittleStalins.Weconstantlyhavetokindofdialthemback.Nowlook,naturallythere'sagapbetweentheirkindofconductinthesemeetingsandtheirbehaviortherestoftheweek,butthetruthisitdidn'treallybotherus.Itfeltlikewewerekindoflayingtheseundergroundcablesthatwouldn'tlightuptheirworldformanyyearstocome.
Threeyearslater--ourgirlsarealmosteightnow--We'restillholdingthesemeetings.Mywifecountsthemamonghermosttreasuredmomentsasamom.
Sowhatdidwelearn?
Theword"agile"enteredthelexiconin2001whenJeffSutherlandandagroupofdesignersmetinUtahandwrotea12-pointAgileManifesto.IthinkthetimeisrightforanAgileFamilyManifesto.I'vetakensomeideasfromtheStarrsandfrommanyotherfamiliesImet.I'mproposingthreeplanks.
Planknumberone:
Adaptallthetime.
WhenIbecameaparent,Ifigured,youknowwhat?
We'llsetafewrulesandwe'llsticktothem.Thatassumes,asparents,wecananticipateeveryproblemthat'sgoingtoarise.Wecan't.What'sgreatabouttheagilesystemisyoubuildinasystemofchangesothatyoucanreacttowhat'shappeningtoyouinrealtime.It'sliketheysayintheInternetworld:
ifyou'redoingthesamethingtodayyouweredoingsixmonthsago,you'redoingthewrongthing.Parentscanlearnalotfromthat.Buttome,"adaptallthetime"meanssomethingdeeper,too.Wehavetobreakparentsoutofthisstraitjacketthattheonlyideaswecantryathomeareonesthatcomefromshrinksorself-helpgurusorotherfamilyexperts.Thetruthis,theirideasarestale,whereasinalltheseotherworldstherearethesenewideastomakegroupsandteamsworkeffectively.
Let'sjusttakeafewexamples.Let'stakethebiggestissueofall:
familydinner.Everybodyknowsthathavingfamilydinnerwithyourchildrenisgoodforthekids.Butforsomanyofus,itdoesn'tworkinourlives.Imetacelebritychef