初中英语jokes.docx

初中英语jokes.docx

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初中英语jokes

英语谜语20则

   中国人常说‘万事开头难’。

不过,开始猜谜语可不能猜太难的,要不,你可就不肯往

   下猜了。

先猜猜下面这个容易的:

1.Whattableisinthefield?

   再猜猜这一个:

2.Whatistheonlythingyoucanbreakwhenyousayits

   name?

   若猜对了,请接着往下猜:

   3.Whatisthereinyourhousethatoughttobelookedinto?

   4.Whatisthatwhichyouhaveneverseen,heardorfelt,whichnever

   existedandstill  hasaname?

   5.Whatchangesapearintoapearl?

   6.Whatquestioncanneverbeansweredby'Yes'?

   7.Whatshiphastwomatesbutnocaptain?

   8.Whatisthemostdifficultkeytoturn?

   9.Wherecanyoualwaysfindmoney?

   10.Whatisthesurestwaytodoubleyourmoney?

   11.Wheredoesafternooncomebeforemorningintheworld?

   12.Whatisthesmallestbridgeintheworld?

   13.Whatlettermakesaroadbroad?

   14.Whatlettersoundslikeavegetable?

   15.Whyisapigthemostunusualanimalintheworld?

   16.Whatmatchcan'tbeputinamatch-box?

   17.Whendo2and2makemorethan4?

   18.Ihavecitiesbutnohouses,forestsbutnotrees,riverswithout

   water.WhatamI?

     19.Iamsomethingthathasteethbutcan'teat.What

   amI?

   20.Whatisasickmanacontrodiction?

   Key:

   1.Vegetable  2.silence    3.mirror    4.nothing    5.the

   letter“l”6.Areyouasleep?

7.courtship  8.adonkey   9.Inthe

   dictionary  10.Foldit.11.Inthedictionary  12.thebridgeofanose  

   13.letterB  14.letterP15.Becauseitiskilledbeforeitiscured（烧烤待

   处理）16.Footballmatch,basketballmatch,etc.17.Whentheymake22.18.A

   map19.Acomb20.Whenheisanimpatientpatient.

   =============================================================================

   =============================================================================

   英语谜语Riddles

   Whyissixafraidofseven?

   -----------------------Becauseseveneightnine.

   Whatdoyoucallyourfather-in-law'sonlychild'smother-in-law?

   -----------------------Mom.

   Whydolionseatrawmeat?

   -----------------------Becausetheyneverlearntocook.

   Whydidthechickencrosstheroad?

   -----------------------Togettotheotherside.

   Whydidthefoxcrosstheroad?

   -----------------------Togetthechicken.

   Whydidthegumcrosstheroad?

   -----------------------Itwasonthechicken’sfoot.

   Whydidtheturkeycrosstheroadtwice?

   -----------------------Toproveitwasnotachicken.

   Whydidtheweaselcrosstheroadtwice?

   -----------------------Hewasadoublecrosser.

   Whydidn'ttheskeletoncrosstheroad?

   -----------------------Itdidn’thavetheguts.

   Whatgoesupachimneydown,butwon'tgodownachimneyup?

   -----------------------Annumbrella.

   What'sblackandwhiteandredallover?

   -----------------------Azebrathatdoesn’tknowhowtoputlipstickon.

   Whatisthelargestantintheworld?

   -----------------------Anelephant.

   Howmuchisaskunkworth?

   -----------------------Onescent.

   Whatkindofmonkeycanfly?

   -----------------------Ahotairbaboon.

   Whydidthecakeliketoplaybaseball?

   -----------------------Becauseitwasagoodbatter.

   Whatgoeshahaha,plop?

   -----------------------Someonelaughingtheirheadoff.

   Whydidn'ttheladyrunawayfromtheattackinglion?

   -----------------------Theytoldheritwasamaneatinglion.

   WhyhasnooneeverspottedaleopardinAfrica?

   -----------------------Becauseleopardsarealreadybornwithspots.

   Whatdidthebananadowhenitheardtheicescream?

   -----------------------Itsplit.

   Swingsbyhisthighathingmostmagical!

Belowthebelt,beneaththefolds

   ofhisclothesithangs,aholeinitsfrontend,stiff-setandstout,but

   swivelsabout.Levellingtheheadofthishanginginstrument,itswielder

   hoistshishemabovetheknee:

itishiswilltofillawell-knownholethat

   itfitsfullywhenatfulllength.Hehasoftenfilleditbefore.Nowhe

   fillsitagain.

   -----------------------akey

   I'mtheworld'swonder,forImakewomenhappy--aboontotheneighborhood,

   abanetonoone,

   thoughImayperhapspricktheonewhopicksme.Iamsetwellup,standina

   bed,havearoughishroot.Rarely（thoughithappens）achurl'sdaughtermore

   daringthantherest--andlovelier!

--laysholdofme,andlaysmein

   larder.

   Shelearnssoonenough,thecurly-hairedcreaturewhoclampsmeso,ofmy

   meetingwithher:

moistishereye!

   -----------------------anonion

   Ayoungmanmadeforthecornerwhereheknewshewasstanding;this

   strappingyouthhadcomesomeway--withhisownhandshewhippedupher

   dress,andunderhergirdle（asshestoodthere）thrustsomethingstiff,

   workedhiswill;theybothshook.Thisfellowquickened:

onemomenthewas

   forceful,afirstrateservant,sostrenuousthatthenexthewasknockedup,

   quiteblownbyhisexertion.Beneaththegirdleathingbegantogrowthat

   upstandingmenoftenthinkof,tenderly,andacquire.

   -----------------------dough

   I'mtoldacertainsomethinggrowsinitspouch,swellsandstandsup,lifts

   itscovering.Aproudbridegraspedthatbonelesswonder,thedaughterofa

   kingcoveredthatswollenthingwithclothing.

   -----------------------achurn

   Alovelywoman,alady,oftenlockedmeinachest;attimesshetookmeout

   withherfingers,andgavemetoherlordandloyalmaster,justasheasked.

   Thenhepokedhisheadinsideme,pusheditupuntilitfittedtightly.I,

   adorned,wasboundtobefilledwithsomethingroughiftheloyallord

   couldkeepitup.GuesswhatImean.

   -----------------------helmet

   Whomakesit,hasnoneedofit.Whobuysit,hasnouseforit.Whousesit

   canneitherseenorfeelit.

   ---------------------coffin

   Tellmewhatadozenrubbertreeswiththirtyboughsoneachmightbe?

   ---------------------Monthsoftheyear

   AsIwentoverLondonBridgeImetmysisterJennyIbrokeherneckanddrank

   herbloodAndleftherstandingempty.

   ---------------------Gin

   Itissaidamongmypeoplethatsomethingsareimprovedbydeath.Tellme,

   whatstinkswhileliving,butindeath,smellsgood?

   ---------------------Pig

   Allright.Riddlemethis:

whatgoesthroughthedoorwithoutpinching

   itself?

Whatsitsonthestovewithoutburningitself?

Whatsitsonthetable

   andisnotashamed?

   ---------------------theSun

   Whatworkisitthatthefasteryouwork,thelongeritisbeforeyou're

   done,andthesloweryouwork,thesooneryou'refinished?

   ---------------------roastingmeatonaspit

   WhilstIwasengagedinsittingIspiedthedeadcarryingtheliving.

   ---------------------aship

   Iknowawordoflettersthree.Addtwo,andfewertherewillbe.

   ---------------------'few'

   Igiveyouagroupofthree.Oneissittingdown,andwillnevergetup.The

   secondeatsasmuchasisgiventohim,yetisalwayshungry.Thethirdgoes

   awayandneverreturns.

   ---------------------stove,fire,andsmoke

   Whoevermakesit,tellsitnot.Whoevertakesit,knowsitnot.Andwhoever

   knowsitwantsitnot.

   ---------------------counterfeitmoney

   Twowords,myanswerisonlytwowords.Tokeepme,youmustgiveme.

   SolutionyourwordSir,IbeararhymeexcellingInmysticforceandmagic

   spellingCelestialspriteselucidateAllmyownstrivingcan'trelate

   ---------------------Pi（digitsgivenbylengthofwords）

   ThereisnotwindenoughtotwirlThatoneredleaf,nearestofitsclan,

   Whichdancesasoftenasdanceitcan.

   ---------------------thesun,SamuelTaylorColeridge

   Half-wayupthehill,IseetheeatlastLyingbeneathmewiththysoundsand

   sights--Acityinthetwilight,dimandvast,Withsmokingroofs,soft

   bells,andgleaminglights.

   ---------------------thepast,Longfellow

   Iam,intruth,ayellowfork

   Fromtablesinthesky

   Byinadvertentfingersdropped

   Theawfulcutlery.

   Ofmansionsneverquitedisclosed

   Andneverquiteconcealed

   Theapparatusofthedark

   Toignorancerevealed.

   ---------------------lightning,EmilyDickinson

   Many-manedscud-thumper,

   Makerofwornwood,

   Shrub-ruster,

   Sky-mocker,

   Rave!

   Portlypusher,

   Wind-slave.

   --------------------- JohnUpdike

   Makemethylyre,evenastheforestsare.

   Whatifmyleavesfelllikeitsown--

   Thetumultofthymightyharmonies

   Willtakefrombothadeepautumnaltone.

   ---------------------thewestwind,PercyByssheShelley

   Thisdarksomeburn,horsebackbrown,

   Hisrollockhighroadroaringdown,

   Incoopandincombthefleeceofhisfoam

   Flutesandlowtothebodyfallshome.

   --------------------- river,GerardManleyHopkins

   I'vemeasureditfromsidetoside,

   'Tisthreefeetlongandtwofeetwide.

   Itisofcompasssmall,andbare

   Tothirstysunsandparchingair.

   ---------------------thegraveofachild,Wordsworth

   Mylove,whenIgazeonthybeautifulface,

   Careeringalong,yetalwaysinplace--

   Thethoughthasoftencomeintomymind

   IfIevershallseethygloriousbehind.

   ---------------------themoon,SirEdmundGosse

   Thenallthyfeculentmajestyrecalls

   Thenauseousmustinessofforsakenbowers,

   Theleprousnudityofdesertedhalls--

   Thepositivenastinessofsulliedflowers.

   AndIm