South Park 106.docx

South Park 106.docx

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SouthPark106

SouthParkEpisode106

"DEATH"

ByMattStone&TreyParker

ACTI

INT.STANHOUSE-DININGROOM-NIGHT

Stan'sFamily（Father,sisterandGrandfather）areseatedat

atable.Motherwalksupholdingabirthdaycakewitha

ridiculousnumberofnumberofcandles.

STAN&FAMILY

Happybirthdaytoyou!

Happybirthday

toyou!

Happybirthdaydeargrandpa!

Grandpadroolsalittlefromhiswheelchair.

STAN&FAMILY

Happybirthdaytoyou!

STAN'SMOTHER

Nowblowoutthecandlesgrandpa!

Grandpamanagesthesmallestwheeze,whichdoesn'tevenmake

theflamesofthecandlesflicker.

Stan'sfamilymembersallapplaud.

STAN'SFATHER

Howdoesitfeeltobeahundredand

two,paps?

GRANDPA

Shootme.

STAN'SMOM

Makeawishgrandpa!

GRANDPA

IwishIweredead.

FATHER

Ha,ha!

That'soursillygrandpa!

GRANDPA

I'mnotbeingsilly!

Killme!

I'ddo

itmyself,butI'mtoodamnold!

STAN'SMOM

Oh,whowantsicecreamwiththeir

cake?

STAN

Iwill.

FATHER

Me.

Stanlooksupandtheclockandgasps.

STAN

It'seighto'clock!

MyfavoriteT.V.

showison!

SHELLEY

Thatshow'sforbabies,it'sso

stupid!

STAN

CanIeatmycakeinthelivingroom,

mom?

Please?

CanI?

STAN'SMOM

Oh,alright.Buttakeyourgrandpy

withyou.

STAN

Aw,dammit.

STAN'SMOM

Language!

INT.LIVINGROOM-CONTINUOUS

Stanissittingonthecouchwatchingtelevisionandeating

cake.

NARRATOR

AndnowbacktoTerranceandPhillip!

ANGLE-TELEVISION

Twoaveragelookingteens（animatedinaslightlydifferent

style）aresittingonacouch.

PHILLIP

HeyTerrance,IthinkIhavetofart.

Stanlaughs.

TERRANCE

Wait!

beforeyoudo,Pullmythumb.

PhillippullsTerrance'sthumb.TerranceFARTSloudly.

Thelaughtracklaughs.Stanlaughs.

PANOVERtorevealgrandpa,whoistryingtopointashotgun

athishead.

Grandpapullsthetrigger--BLAM!

!

Hemisses,blowinga

pictureofthewall.

GRANDPA

AwDammit!

!

GrandpalooksatStan.

GRANDPA

Howwouldyouliketomakeadollar,

Billy?

STAN

Myname'snotBilly,grandpa,it's

Stan.

GRANDPA

Dammit,Billy!

Doyouwantadollar

ordon'tya?

!

STAN

Sure.

GRANDPA

Okay,youjusthavetodoonething

forme...

STAN

I'mnotgoingtokillyou,grandpa.

GRANDPA

WHYNOT?

!

STAN

'Cause!

I'llgetintrouble!

GRANDPA

IkilledmygrandpawhenIwasyour

age!

STAN

Leavemealone,grandpa.

GRANDPA

WhathasAmerica'syouthcometo?

!

Kidswon'tevenkilltheirown

grandparents!

!

INT.KYLE'SHOUSE-NIGHT

KyleissittinginfrontoftheT.V.watchingthesameT.V.

show.

ANGLE-TELEVISION

PHILLIP

HeyTerrance,nowthatyou'vefarted,

IthinkImightfarttoo!

Phillipleansoverandripsabigone.Thelaughtracklaughs.

TERRANCE

Ooh!

Youfarted!

Thelaughtracklaughsagain.

Kylelaughspainfully.Heholdshisstomach.Justthen,Kyle's

motherwalksin.

KYLE'SMOTHER

Kyleboopie,Whatareyouwatching?

ButKyleislaughingtoohardtospeak.Hismotherlooksat

thetelevision.

TERRANCE

HeyPhillip,wouldyoulikeaflower?

PHILLIP

IsurewouldTerrance.

TERRANCE

Alrightythen,here'saTulipPUUU!

!

Terrancefarts.

RESUME-KYLEANDMOTHER

Kyleisrollingaroundonthefloorlaughingwildly.

KYLE'SMOTHER

Whatisthis?

It'shorrible!

KYLE

（Collectinghimself）

Dude,it's'TerranceandPhillip'.

ANGLE-TELEVISION

PHILLIP

Takethatyoustupiddick!

KYLE'SMOTHER

WHATdidhesay?

!

TERRANCE

You'reanasshole,Phillip!

KYLE'SMOTHER

What-what-WHAAAATT?

Kyle'smomsnapstheT.V.off.

KYLE'SMOTHER

Youngman,youarenottowatchthat

showanymore!

It'simmaturetoilet

humor!

KYLE

ButEVERYBODYwatchesTerrance&

Phillip!

KYLE'SMOTHER

Oh,really,isthatSO?

!

INT.CARTMAN'SHOUSE

Cartmanisonthecoucheatingcheesypoofsandwatching

television.

ANGLE-TELEVISION

TerranceandPhilliparefloatingoutinspace.

TERRANCE

Ohno,Phillip!

lookslikeyou're

abouttofart!

PHILLIP

You'reexactlyright,Terrance!

!

AhugeFARTsound.Cartmanlaughswildly.

CARTMAN

Sweet!

CARTMAN'SMOM

Ericdear,Ijustgotacallfrom

yourfriendKyle'smother.Shesaid

thatthisshowisnaughty,andmight

makeyouapottymouth.

CARTMAN

That'sabunchofcrap.Kyle'smom

isadirtyjew.

CARTMAN'SMOM

Oh,okayhon.

INT.STAN'SHOUSE

Stanwalksuptohisbedroomdoorandlooksathislistof

chores.'TakeOutTrash'followedby'FeedSparky'then'clean

uproom'andthen,sloppilyscribbledincrayon,'Kill

Grandpa'.

Stanlooksconfused,thenrealizesthatgrandpaisdownthe

hall.

STAN

I'mnotgoingtokillyou,grandpa!

Grandpaappearsinthebackground.

GRANDPA

Ingrate!

STAN

G'nightgrandpa.

Stangoesintohisroom.

GRANDPA

Youpompoussonofaw