老友记第五季英文剧本.docx
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老友记第五季英文剧本
501TheOneAfterRossSaysRachel
[Scene:
Ross’sWedding,continuedfromlastseason,theMinisterisabouttomarryRossandEmily.]
Minister:
Friends.Family.WearegatheredtocelebrateheretodaythejoyousunionofRossandEmily.(Timelapse)NowRoss,repeatafterme.IRoss...
Ross:
IRoss...
Minister:
Takethee,Emily...
Ross:
Takethee,Rachel...(Allhisfriendshavelooksofshockontheirfaces.Herealizeswhathesaid.Quicklyhesays.)Emily.(Aslightchuckle.)Emily.
Minister:
(Lookingandfeelingawkward.helookstowardsEmily.)Uhh...ShallIgoon
Rachel:
(Tothewomansittinginfrontofher)He-hesaidRachel,rightDoyouthinkIshouldgoupthere
Emily:
Yes,yes,dogoon.
Minister:
Ithinkwe’dbetterstartagain.Ross,repeatafterme.I,Ross…
Ross:
I,Ross…
Minister:
Takethee,EM-I-LY…
Ross:
Takethee,(GlaresattheMinister)Emily.(Chuckles)Likethere’dbeanybodyelse.(Emilyisglaringathim.)
Minister:
Asmylawfullyweddedwife,insicknessandinhealth,tilldeathpartsus.
Ross:
Asmylawfullyweddedwife,insicknessandinhealth,untildeathpartsus.Really,Ido.Emily.(Pointsather.)
Minister:
MayIhavetherings(Heisgiventherings)Emily,placethisringonRoss’sfingerasasymbolofyourbondeverlasting.(Shejamstheringontohisfinger)Ross,placethisringinEmily’shandasasymbolofthelovethatencirclesyouforever.
Ross:
Happytoo.
Minister:
RossandEmilyhavemadetheirdeclarationsanditgivesmegreatpleasuretodeclarethemhusbandandwife.
Ross:
Yay!
Minister:
Youmaykissthebride.
(Hegoestokissher,butsheisn’tveryreceptiveofthekiss.Shekeepsavoidinghim,untilRossfinallygetstokissheronhercheek.)
Mrs.Geller:
(ToMr.Geller)Thisisworsethanwhenhemarriedthelesbian.
(Thebandstartstoplay,andtherecessionalstarts.RosstriestotakeEmily’shand,butshesnatchesitawayfromhim.)
Emily:
Justkeepsmiling.
Ross:
Okay.
Joey:
Well,thatwentwell.Yeah.
Chandler:
Itcould’vebeenworse,hecould’veshother.
(RossandEmilymakeittothelobby.)
Ross:
(laughs)Thatuh,thatwasprettyfunny.Wasn’tit
(Emilygiveshimaforearmshotacrossthestomach.)
OpeningCredits
[Scene:
TheWeddingreception,RossandEmilyareinthebathroomandEmilyisyellingathim.Rachel,Chandler,Joey,andMonicaarestandingoutsidethedoorway.]
Emily:
(Yellingfrominsidethebathroom)You’vespoiledeverything!
It’slikeanightmare!
Myfriendsandfamilyareoutthere!
HowcanIfacethem!
Howcanyoudothistome!
Joey:
(Tothegang)Hey,nomatterwhathappenswithRossandEmily,westillgetcakeright
Ross:
(exitingthebathroom)That-that-that’sallright,nohoney,youtakeyourtimesweetie.I’llberightouthere.(Sheslamsthedoorinhisface,tothegang)She’sjustfixinghermakeup.
Emily:
Ihateyou!
!
Ross:
And,Iloveyou!
!
(Hewalksintothelivingroom)
Mr.Geller:
Boy,badtimetosaythewrongname,huhRoss
Ross:
That’strue,thanksdad.(ToAll)Peopleshouldbedancing!
HuhHey,thisisaparty!
Comeon!
Joey,dance!
!
(Hestartstodancebutstopswhennooneelsejoinshim.)
(Mrs.Waltham’sphoneringsandsheanswersit.)
Mrs.Waltham:
Yes,Walthaminteriors.
Phoebe:
(Onthephone,inNewYork)Uh,hello,thisisRossGeller’spersonalphysician,Dr.Philange.
Mrs.Waltham:
Who
Phoebe:
Yeah,I’vediscoveredthatRossforgottotakehisbrainmedicine,uh,nowwithoutit,uh,inthebrainofRoss,uhwomen’snamesareinterchangeable,through-throughnofaultofhisown.
Mrs.Waltham:
OhmyGod,Phoebe.
Phoebe:
No,notPhoebe,Dr.Philange.Ohno!
Youhaveittoo!
(Mrs.Walthamhangsuponher.)
Phoebe:
Hello
(CuttoChandlerandMonicaatthebuffettable.)
Chandler:
Hey.
Monica:
Hey.
Chandler:
Ohwow,Ihopeyoudon’ttakethisthewrongwaybut,Iknowwehadplanstomeetuptonightand,ugh,I’mjustkindaworriedaboutwhatitmightdotoourfriendship.
Monica:
Iknow.Howcouldwehaveletthishappen
Chandler:
Seventimes!
Monica:
Ugh!
Well,y’know,wewereaway…
Chandler:
Inaforeign,romanticcountry…
Monica:
IblameLondon.
Chandler:
BadLondon!
(Takesaspoonandsmackstheturkey.)
Monica:
Solookumm,whilewe’rest-stillinLondon,Imean,wecankeepdoingitright
Chandler:
Well,Idon’tseethatwehaveachoice.But,whenwe’rebackhome,wedon’tdoit.
Monica:
Onlyhere.
Chandler:
Y’know,Isawawinecellardownstairs…
Monica:
I’llmeetyouthereintwominutes.
Chandler:
Okay!
(Hethrowsdownhisplateandrunstothewinecellar,MonicaisabouttofollowhimbutisinterceptedbyRachel.)
Rachel:
Mon,honey,Igottaaskyousomething.
Monica:
(impatiently)Now
Rachel:
Rosssaidmynameupthere,Imean,comeon,Ijustcan’tpretendthatdidn’thappencanI
Monica:
Oh,I-Idon’tknow.
Rachel:
Monica,whatshouldIdo
Monica:
Justuh,dotherightthing.(Usessomebreathspray)
Rachel:
What
Monica:
Toetheline.Threadtheneedle.Thinkoutsidethebox!
(Triestoleave,butisstoppedbyRachel.)
Rachel:
Whoa,wait,listen,IthinkI’mjustgonnatalktoRossaboutwhathethinkitmeant.
Monica:
Wait.Rachel,no,he’smarried.Married!
Ifyoudon’trealizethat,Ican’thelpyou.
Rachel:
Okay,you’reright.You’reright.Youcan’thelpme.
(CuttoMr.andMrs.Geller.)
Mrs.Geller:
Jack,isitallourfaultWerewebadparents
Mr.Waltham:
(walkingby)Yes.
Mr.Geller:
Ohyeah,wellwhoservessteakwhenthere’snoplacetosit,Imeanhowareyousupposedtoeatthis
Joey:
Hey,what’sup(Hehassolvedtheproblemofeatingthesteak,he’seatingitwithhishands.)
(CuttoMonicaandChandler,Monicaisrunninguptohim.)
Monica:
WherewereyouWeweresupposedtomeetinthewinecellar
Chandler:
Forgetit,that’soff.
Monica:
Why!
Mr.Waltham:
(drunkenly)Thenexttourofthewinecellarwillplanintwoin-inminutes…
(Joeywalksuptothem.)
Monica:
Joey,whatareyoudoingYoupromisedPhoebeyouwouldn’teatmeatuntilshehasthebabies!
Joey:
Well,Ifiguredwe’reinanothercountry,soitdoesn’tcount.
Monica:
That’strue.
Chandler:
Theman’sgotapoint.
(CuttoRachelandRoss.)
Rachel:
Oh,hi!
Ross:
Hi!
Rachel:
Hi.Sorry,thingsaren’tworkingoutsowell.
Ross:
Ohno!
Itcouldbebetter,butit’sgonnabeokay,right
Rachel:
Ohyeah!
Ofcourse,Imean,she’sgonnagetoverthis,y’knowImean,soyousaidmyname!
Y’knowyoujustsaidit‘causeyousawmethere,ifyou’dhaveseenacircusfreak,youwould’vesaid,"Itaketheecircusfreak."Y’know,itdidn’tmeananything,it’sjustamistake.Itdidn’tmeananything.Right
Ross:
No!
No!
Ofcourseitdidn’tmeananything!
Imean,uhwell,IcanunderstandwhyEmilywouldthinkitmeantsomething,y’know,because-becauseitwasyou…
Rachel:
Right…
Ross:
Butitabsolutelydidn’t.(Yellingtowardsthebathroom)Itdidn’t!
!
Itdidn’t!
!
Joey:
(approaching)Ross,hey,theband’sreadyoutsideforyourfirstdancewithEmily,so…
Ross:
(sarcastic)Oh!
Oh-oh,theband’sready!
Well,I-I-wegottadowhatthebandsays—Idon’tcareaboutthestupidband!
!
Joey:
Youspitonmeman!
(Wipeshisface.)
Ross:
Look,I’msorry.
Joey:
Emilyiskindatakingalongtime,huh
Rachel:
(laughs)Y’knowwhenIlockedmyselfinthebathroomatmywedding,itwasbecauseIwastryingtopopthewindowoutoftheframe.
Ross:
Oh,right!
Rachel:
Getthehelloutofthere,y’know
(Theyallstartlaughing,andquicklystopwhentheyrealizewhatshejustsaidandrunovertothebathroom.)
Ross:
(Bangsonthebathroomdoor)EmilyEmilyI’mcomingin.(Heopensthedoortorevealthatthewindowisgone,alongwithEmily.)
Rachel:
Well,lookatthat,samething.
[Scene:
LondonMarriott,MonicaandChandlerarewalkingtoherroom.]
Chandler:
Listen,inthemiddleofeverythingifIscreamtheword,"Yippee!
"justignoreme.
(ShelaughsandopensthedoortorevealRachelsittingonthebed.)
Monica:
OhmyGod,Rachel!
Hi!
Chandler:
Oh,helloRachel.
Rachel:
Rosssaidmyname.OkayMyname.Rosssaidmynameuptherethatobviouslymeansthathestilllovesme!
(Theybothjuststareather.)Okay,don’tbelieveme,IknowI’mright—doyouguyswanttogodownstairsandgetadrink
Chandler:
Yes,wedo.But,wehavetochangefirst.
Monica:
Yes,Iwanttochange.Andwhy-whydon’tyougodownandgetusatable
Chandler:
Yeah,we’llbedowninlikefiveminutes.
Monica:
(elbowshim)Fifteenminutes.
Rachel:
Okay.
(ThephoneringsandRachelanswersit.)
Rachel:
HelloOh,Pheebs!
(Tothem)It’sPhoebe!
Chandler:
Oh,yay…
Monica:
Great…
Rachel:
Hi!
Phoebe:
Hi,sowhathappened
Rachel:
Well,Rosssaidmyname.
Phoebe:
Yeah,Iknow,butIdon’tthinkthatmeansanything.
Rachel:
Okay,Pheebs,y’knowwhat,let’slookatthisobjectivelyallrightNinthgrade,rightTheobsessionstarts.AllrightThesummerafterninthgradeheseesmeinatwo-pieceforthefirsttime,hisobsessionbeginstogrow.Sothen…
Chandler:
(ToMonica)Hey,listen,whydon’twegochangeinmyroom
Monica:
Butmyclothesare—ohh!
(Theybothleave.)
(CuttoChandler’sroom,heopensthedoorslowlytoseeifJoeyisthereandafterseeingthatheisn’t,ushersMonicaintotheroom,closesthedoor,andthesecuritybar.)
Chandler:
Wow,youlook…
Monica:
Notimeforthat!
(Theybothstarttofranticallyripeachother’sclothesoff,butareinterruptedwhenJoeytriestoopenthedoor.)
Joey:
Hey,dude,letmein.Igotagirlouthere!
Chandler:
Well,I’vegotagirlinhere.
Joey:
Noyoudon’t,IjustsawyougointherewithMonica!
Chandler:
Well,we’re-we’rehangingoutinhere!
Joey:
Look,whichoneofusisgonnabehavingsexinthere,meoryou
Chandler:
Well,IsupposeI’dhavetosayyou!
!
But,whatifwe’rewatchingamovieinhere
Monica:
Whichweare,and-andwealreadypai