0成长的烦恼.docx

0成长的烦恼.docx

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0成长的烦恼

GrowingPains406

Coach:

andreachandstretchandgrabthosegrapes,andpunchthatguyrightintheface.

Carol:

GradeAstudentsshouldn’thavetotakegym.

Debbie:

OhyeahCarol.Guysreallygoforacurvybrain.

Shelly:

Ifitweren’tformyshapelythighs,wherewouldIbe?

Carol:

Namejustoneserioussuccessfulwomanwhoworriesabouttheshapeofherthighs?

Shelly:

EvanaWhite.

Carol:

Ohwhy,ohwhydidn’tIthinkofher?

Principle:

Attentionpeople,thisisyourprinciple,Mr.Dewittspeaking.

Girls:

Wooooh!

Principle:

Pointitatmyface.Therewego.Goodmorningstudents.yes,itsme,Comingtoyou

viatheallnewDeweyHighschoolPasystemHootervision.Yourparentstaxdollarsatwork.

Carol:

ThisislikesomethingoutofNineteenEightyFour.

Principle:

thehomecomingdanceisonlytwodaysaway,andthedecoratingcommitteestill

needhelp.ContactBuckyKneehowserifyoucandonateanyofthefollowingdecorativeitems;

balloons,streamers,slapshoes,chaps,whips,handcuffs..okforgetthisitem.AndI'dliketo

seeBuckyKneehowserinmyofficePDQ.Andnowthebignews.Thecandidateswhoyouhave

selectedforhomecomingkingandqueen.

Girls:

Woooo!

Principle:

Igettinglestoo.Estelle,theenvelopeplease.

Debbie:

ItsjustliketheAcademyawards.

Carol:

Ohyeah,willRobLowebenominated,orpassedoverforyetanotheryear?

Shelly:

Exactly.

Carol:

Canyouguyshearyourselves,youactlikethisisimportant.

Debbie:

OhandIsupposeyou'reaboveallthis?

Carol:

Thisismerelyanaffirmationofasocialorder,whichhasbeeninstilledonourpopular

culturesincekindergarten.

Shelly:

Idon’tthinkDebbieunderstandswhatyoumean.

Carol:

Everyyear,itsthesamechosenfewthatgetnominated.Theincrowd,theAlist,the

sociees.AndI’mtalkingaboutpeoplewhosebiggestcontributiontothisschoolislooking

goodinasweater.

Principle:

Maybeifyouspentlesstimeintheteacher’sloungestuffingyourfacewith

doughnuts,you’dfindit...

OkeeDokee.candidatesmeetintheauditoriumafterschoolforbriefing.Firstthecandidates

forQueen,inalphabeticalorder:

JoyaBarnes.

Carol:

Andwhosethegirlinthetightsweaterwhoalwaysforgetstowearabra?

Principle:

JenniferCalestino.

Carol:

That’sher.Andwemusthaveacheerleaderortwo.

Principle:

SuzanneFryman.

Carol:

One.

Principle:

HeatherMacombe.

Carol:

Two.

Debbie:

Soyouaresayingthatonlythemostpopularkidsgetnominated?

Carol:

Exactly.

Principle:

AndCarolSeaver.

Carol:

Anothercaseandpoint.What?

Shelly:

I'llbetyouaresorrynowyouletyourthighsgotohell.

Debbie:

I'veneverbeenbestfriendswithsomeoneintheincrowdbefore.

Carol:

I'mnotintheincrowd.

Debbie:

Assoonaswe'vefinishedhavingthispicturetaken,wearegoingtogotoChadwick’s

andwe'regoingtopickyououtadress.

Shelly:

OnlydogsshopatChadwick’s.

Debbie:

IshopatChadwick’s.

Shelly:

Exactly.Theydon’thaveasingledresstherethatshowsanybosom.

Debbie:

Whatdoesthatmatter?

Shelly:

Foryou,notmuch.ButCarolwantstobequeen,andwhenyou'regoingforvotes,a

littlebosomgoesalongway.

（dreamscene）

Principle:

Wearemissingacandidate.Where'stheothergirl?

Carol:

RighthereMr.Dewitt.

Principle:

You?

Hahaha.Youcantbeaqueencandidate.You'renotshowinganybosom.

CarolSeaver.

Carol:

No,nobosom.

Principle:

Ok.CaretojoinusMissSeaver.Nowrememberpeople,thatthestudentbodylooks

uptoyou.Sonocrossedeyes,orobscenegestures.

Carol:

（inherhead）I'minthehomecomingcourt.Me,carol-thebrain-Seaver.HowamIever

goingtofacemumanddad?

（dreamscene）

Carol:

Hi

Jason:

Honey,thebestandbrightestofourchildrenishome.

Maggie:

Youmeantheonewhogetsaconsistentfourpoint0average,isamemberofthe

chessclub,thefuturephysicistsofAmericaandisthedaughterIvicariouslylivemylife

through.Thatchild?

Jason:

That’stheone.

Maggie:

WellletmejustputthisdarnfreelancearticleI’mwritingaside.

Jason:

Icanstuffmyduckanytime.

Maggie:

Carol,telluswhatstartlingachievementsyoumadetoday?

Carol:

Mum,dad,Ihavesomenewsthatmightbedramaticforyou.

Jason:

Younglady,ifyou'vegoneandwontheNobelprizeanddidn’tcallus,you'reinbig

trouble.

Carol:

No,Ididn’t.

Jason:

Ah,whocares.Youareajoytoparentanyway.

Carol:

Iknow.

Maggie:

Adevotedsibling.

Carol:

Iknow.

Jason:

Acredittothisnation.

Carol:

Dad,you'rebeingasycophant.

Jason:

thankyou.

Maggie:

Carol,wouldyoupleasetellmewhatasycophantis.

Carol:

Latermum.See,todayIwasnominatedforhomecomingqueen.

JasonandMaggie:

（crying）

Mike:

Boyitsfoggyinhere.

Maggie:

Mike,you'reourbesthopenow.

Jason:

Promiseusyou'llneverbecomehomecomingqueen.

Mike:

Dad,itsanelectricoven.Whattheheckisgoingonaroundhere?

Carol:

I'vebeennominatedforhomecomingqueen.

Mike:

Hey,that’stough.Soisitlikeacircusthemethisyear?

Ben:

Cheese,cheese,cheese.Ineedcheesetogowithmyrackofribs.Heydidn'tanyofyou

peoplehearwhatIneed?

Homecominggirls:

Cheese!

Photographer:

Thatgirldidn’tsmile.

Principle:

MissSeaver,couldyoubehappyforjustamoment?

Carol:

How’sthat?

Principle:

Fine.

Jason:

OkChris.Igotyourdiapers,yourwipes,yourlotion,yourbottle,yourrattle,yoursalt,

yourpepper..nah!

Youdon’tneedthosedoyou?

Anythingelseyouneed?

Mike:

Dad,canIborrowsomemoney?

Jason:

Pardon.Mike,no.

Mike:

Ohcomeondad.JusttwentybuckstilFriday.Imeanifyoueverneedafavour,yougot

it.

Jason:

Onlytwenty?

Mike:

Wellactually..

Jason:

Twentyisallyou'regetting.

Mike:

Alright,youdriveahardbargaindad.

Maggie:

Jasonwehavetohurry.Ifwearefiveminuteslateforthispediatrician,he'llmakeus

waitanhour.Youknowhowimpossibledoctorscanbe?

Jason:

Yeah,I’veheard.

Maggie:

OhJason,Chrissyhastobechanged.

Jason:

Mike.Favourtime.

Mike:

Ohdad!

Alright.LetsgetthisoverwithChrissy.

Carol:

Hi.

Maggie:

Hihoney.Howwasschool?

Carol:

WellImightaswellgetthisoverwith.Mum,dad,canItalktothetwoofyou.

Maggie:

Wellofcoursesweetheart.

Carol:

Maybeyoubettersit.

Jason:

Carol,isthisserious?

Carol:

I'mafraidso.NowIknowthatbothhavealwaysthoughtofmeasthesensibleone.

Youronechildwithherheadonthegroundandfeetoutoftheclouds.Nothat’swrong.

Anyway,youcanwellimaginehowIfelttodaywhen,whenIfoundoutthat.thatIwas

nominatedforhomecomingqueen.

Jason:

Holycow,thatis

Maggie:

Carol,thatiswonderful.

Carol:

Congratulations!

dad,I’mbeinglumpedinwithcheerleader.

Jason:

Uhhu.wellsomeofmyfavoritepeoplearecheerleaders.

Carol:

butalltheothernomineesarejustprettyandpopular.

Maggie:

Wellhoney,what’swrongwiththat?

Carol:

Wrong.Mum,peopleinthehomecomingcourtareneverpeopleofconsequence.Do

youthinkmotherTheresawasahomecomingqueen?

Jason:

Oh,youknowforafactthatshewasn't?

Carol:

Alright,alright.Sowe'lltakemumforexample.She'dneverbepartofsomethingas

sillyasthis.

Maggie:

WellactuallyIwashomecomingqueen.

Carol:

Thatexplainssomuch.

Maggie:

Carolyoucanbeapersonofsubstanceandstillbepopularandpretty.

Carol:

You'renottalkingaboutEvanaWhite,areyou?

Jason:

Thereyougo.

Carol:

Cantyousee.Thepeoplewhovotedtonominatemedon’tknowwhoorwhatIam.

Jason:

Andwhat’sthat?

Carol:

Myownfatherdoesn’tknowwhatIam.

Jason:

Welldoyouknowwhatyouare?

Maggie:

OhJason,justtellherwhatsheis.

Mike:

I'dbehappytodoit.Thereyougodad.believeme,Iearnedthattwentybucks.And

somechange.

Maggie:

Carolhoney,thisiswonderfulnews.thereisnothinghereforyoutogetupsetabout.

Mike:

Whatnews?

Jason:

NotnowMike.

Carol:

No,no.Itsalright.I'dliketohearwhatMikehastosay.Mike,I'vebeennominatedfor

homecomingqueen.

Mike:

Whatthisissomekindofjoke,right?

Carol:

No.Mike:

Solikeisitacircusthemethisyear?

Carol:

ThankyouMike.Alonelyfoolspeakeththetruth.

（carolsdream）

Girl:

thankyouMr.Dewitt.Thankyoumyfamily,myfriendsandthoseofyouwhodreamof

beingmyfriends.Thankyoueveryonewhoclingsuntomyprizebosom.Icouldn'tbethe

regulargalIamwithoutyou.

Principle:

Whatalovely,allbeitempty,sentiment.Lastandcertainlyleast,CarolSeaver.

Carol:

EnoughbosomforyouShelly?

Shelly:

Goodandplenty.

Debbie:

Lovely,lovely,lovely.

Principle:

CarolSeaver,we'rewaiting.

Carol:

HowdoIlook?

Ohno.You!

Youthinkyouareinthesameleagueasthesepeople?

Ha!

Principle:

NowSeaver.Moveit!

Don’t!

Everyone:

（laughing）

Mike:

Ladiesandgentlemen.Ifyouwilldirectyourattentiontothecentrering,andfeastyour

eyesonthelargestwomaninthegreatstateofNewYork.Don'tbealarmed.Sheismerely

goingthroughastage.

（alarmclock）

Carol:

That’sonestageI’mnevergoingthrough.

Mike:

Heymorningdad.

Jason:

Himike.You'reupbrightandearlythismorning.

Mike:

Yeah,wellthenoiseofyoucookingbaconandeggswokeme.

Jason:

I'lltrytobemorecarefulnexttime.

Mike:

Youknow,totellyouthetruthdad,Iwasupearlytostudy,andwellIwasgoingto

makebreakfastbutIranoutofcrackers.

Jason:

Mike,youwantsomebreakfast?

Mike!

Mike:

Ohwow.Youknowitneveroccurredtometoimposeonyouguys.Morningmum.

Maggie:

Morning.

Mike:

Youguysaregreatfeedingmelikethis.

Maggie:

Putdownyourfork,thisiscarols.

Mike:

What?

Jason:

WellIdidn’tknowyou'dbejoi