1001 The One After Joey and Rachel Kiss.docx

1001 The One After Joey and Rachel Kiss.docx

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1001TheOneAfterJoeyandRachelKiss

1001TheOneAfterJoeyandRachelKiss

[Barbados,MonicaandChandler'sRoom.TheybothenterfromRoss'sroom.Monicastillhasherbig,frizzyhair.]

Monica:

Oh,thewayyoucrushedMikeatpingpongwassuchaturn-on.Youwanna...?

（playswithherfingeronChandlerschest）

Chandler:

Youknow,I'dloveto,butI'malittletired.

Monica:

I'llputapillowcaseovermyhead.

Chandler:

You'reon!

（theystarttogetready,butthenPhoebeentersthroughthedoorfromRoss'sroom）

Phoebe:

Hey!

Monica:

What'sup?

Phoebe:

Well,okay,Mike'stakingashower,whichbythewaythere'snolawagainst.Andthenwe'regonnagrabsomefood,soifyouwant...

（there'sadoorslamminginRoss'sroom,andsomeindistinctmurmuring）

Ross:

...finally...

Phoebe:

IsthatRoss?

Monica:

Yeah,youcanheareverythingthroughthesestupidwalls.

Phoebe:

Soundslikehe'swithsomeone.

Chandler:

Hecouldbealone.ThismorningIheardhimdopush-ups,andthentalktohistriceps.

Monica:

Waitaminute,IthinkPhoebe'sright.YouknowIhearsomeoneelseintherewithhim.

（theyallputtheirearagainstthewalltobeabletohearwhat'sbeingsaid.WemovetoRoss'sroomwhereheandCharliearekissing.）

Charlie:

Ooh...Dr.Geller!

Ross:

God,you'reamazing...Ididn'tevenhavetoaskyoutocallmethat.

Monica:

OhmyGod,that'sCharlie!

Chandler:

She'scheatingonJoeywithRoss!

Phoebe:

Ohthattart...floozy...giant...

Monica:

I'mnotsureaboutthis.

Phoebe:

Yeah,you'reright.Thisisnoneofourbusiness.

Monica:

NoI'mnotsurethatit'sthebestwaytoheareverything.Someonegetmeaglass!

Phoebe:

Oh,I'mnotgonnadothis,okay?

I'mnotgonnaeavesdroponmyfriend.

Rachel:

（throughwall）Ooh...IloveBarbados!

（Phoebestartstolistenattheotherwall,whereRachel'sroomis.There,JoeyandRachelarekissing.）

Joey:

Ooh...Ican'tbelieveI'mkissingyou.I'mkissingRachel!

Rachel:

Iknow,I'mher!

（theystarttokissagain,andPhoebeturnstoChandlerandMonica）

Phoebe:

（whispering）RachelandJoey!

It'sRachelandJoey!

!

!

Monica:

What?

Phoebe:

Getoverhere!

（ChandlerandMonicatakeasprinttotheotherwall）

Rachel:

ooh...

Chandler:

Wow!

Monica:

（inherMonica-excited-way...TOOLOUD!

）OhmyGod,Ilovehowthinthesewallsare!

（Intheroomsnextdoor,Joey,Rachel,RossandCharliestopkissingandtrytounderstandwhattheyellingwasabout.Afterawhiletheycontinuekissing.We'rebackinChandlerandMonica'sroom.MonicahassomeofherownhairstuffedinhermouthbyChandler.）

Monica:

（muffled）Thankyou.

OPENINGCREDITS

（RachelandJoey's）

Rachel:

Hey,youknow,beforeyousaidthatnothingcouldhappenbetweenus?

Whatchanged?

Joey:

Well,IonlysaidthatbecauseofRoss,youknow.ThenIsawhimkissingCharlie...

Rachel:

What?

RossandCharlie?

（Joeynods）Wow!

She'sreallymakingherwaythroughthegroup,huh?

Ah,whoamItotalk?

（ChandlerandMonica's）

Monica:

Ican'tbelievethis.RachelandJoey?

Chandler:

Howaboutthedinosaurtwinsintheotherroom?

No-oneismanningthatwall!

Monica:

I'monit!

Chandler:

Anything?

Monica:

IthinkIhearcurtainsclosing...

Phoebe:

We'vegotshoesbeingkickedoffoverhere.

Monica:

Bedsprings,unmistakable!

Chandler:

Youdorealisethat'syourbrother?

Monica:

Notuntilyousaidit.Somebodyswitch!

（ChandlermakesaclickingsoundwithhisfingersandPhoeberunstotheotherwall.MonicareturnstoChandlerswall.）Waitaminute...RossandCharlie,JoeyandRachel,PhoebeandMike!

We'retheonlypeopleleavingwiththesamepersonwecamewith.

Chandler:

That'snottrue.IcamewithMonicaandI'mleavingwithWeirdAl.

Monica:

Okay,I'vehaditwiththehairjokes.Tomorrowmorning,beforeweleave,I'mgoingtothesalon.

Chandler:

OkayBuckwheat!

Phoebe:

Yougottahearthis,it'sgreat...It'slikefreeporn!

（Chandlereagerlyrushesover）

（RossandCharlie's）

Ross:

Weh...*sigh*

Charlie:

uhm...Iseverythingokay?

Ross:

Yeah,It'sjust...Idon'tthinkIcandothis...

Charlie:

Ooh...Isitbecauseofwhatmightbeonthebedspread,becauseIsawthatnewsreporttoo,withtheinfraredandthe...Icouldjust...

Ross:

No,NO!

（they'removingtothesideofthebed,wheretheysitdown）Look,IneedtotalktoJoey.Imean,youguysjustbrokeup.Beforeanythingmorehappensbetweenus,Ineedtoknowhe'sokaywithit.

Charlie:

Iuhm...Icompletelyunderstand.

Ross:

Alright,I'mgonnagofindthem...（twitchesabit,looksdown）Ijustneeda...needabeforeIcan...youknow.（gesturesstandingup...theysitandwaitforawhile）Grandma...grandma...grandma...（hetriestoconcentrate...）Okay,Iseeyoulater.

Charlie:

Okay...

（ChandlerandMonica's,allthreeofthemarelisteningatthewalltoRossandCharlie's）

Phoebe:

That'sthedoor.He'sgone...

Chandler:

Andshe's...turningontheTV...andwatching...MissCongeniality!

Monica:

Honey,ifyouknowitthroughawall,youknowittoowell!

（Theyarestilllisteningatthewall,whenRossenterstheirroom）

Ross:

Hey,whatareyouguysdoing?

Phoebe:

Oh,we'rejust...we'resadtogosowe'rejustsayinggoodbyetothehotel.（hugsthewall）Iloveyou...ParadiseHotel,GolfresortandSpa...（shewalksawayfromthewall）

Monica:

（alsohugsthewall）Yeah,wehadagreattime,thankyou!

（walkstoPhoebe）

Chandler:

（caressesthewallwithhisfinger）Bye!

Ross:

Okay,uhm...Hey,youguysseenJoeyanywhere?

Chandler:

He'sprobablyinhisroomwithhiscurrentgirlfriendCharlie.That'sthesituationasweknowit...（walkstoPhoebeandMonica）

Ross:

Well,ifyouseehimcouldyoupleasetellhimI'mlookingforhim?

Chandler:

Yougotit!

Ross:

Thanks!

（walksoutoftheroomandstartshuggingthewall）Thankyou!

（closesthedoor）

Monica:

Otherwall,people!

Otherwall!

（theyrushtothewalltoRachelandJoey's,andwemovetothatroom）

Ross:

（knocksondoor）Rach,youthere?

（JoeyandRachelbothgetupfromthebed）

Joey:

OhmyGod,it'sRoss.Whatarewegonnado?

Rachel:

Oh,ju-ju-juststaycalm.Justbecalm.Forallheknowswe'rejusthangingouttogether.Right?

Justbenonchalant.（Joeylikestandsatattentionwithhischestforwardandhishandsonhissides,lookingupattheceilingwithhislipspouted.）That'snotnonchalant!

Joey:

Noideawhatitmeans.

Rachel:

Oh...okay,justhide!

Ross:

（knocks）Rach?

Rachel:

Coming!

Tryunderthebed,tryunderthebed!

（WhenRachelstartstolookunderthebedifJoeywouldfitunderthere,Chandleropensthedoorinbetweentherooms,grabsJoeybyhisshirtanddragshimtohisroom,andclosesthedooragain）

Rachel:

There'snoroomunderthebed.（looksaroundbecauseshecan'tfindJoeyanymore）

Ross:

Iseverythingokay?

Rachel:

Yeah...（stilllookingtoseewhereJoeywent,andopensthedoor）

Ross:

Hey.

Rachel:

Hi...

Ross:

YouknowwhereJoeyis?

Rachel:

...Ireallydon't...（looksaroundagain）

Ross:

CanItalktoyouforaminute?

Rachel:

Yeah,sure...（looksoutsideintothecorridorifJoeyisthere）

（MonicaandChandler'sroom.Phoebe,MonicaandChandlerhavetheirearspressedagainstthewall,andJoeylooksatthem）

Joey:

Idon'tbelievethis...Haveyouguysbeen...

Phoebe:

Shhh...Thisisthelisteningsideofthewall.

（NowJoeyalsowantstolisten,andwantstopresshisearsagainstthedoor,whichhasabigmirroronit,hehesitatesseeinghimselfinthemirror,butstillputshisearagainstit.WemoveagaintoRachel'sroom.）

Ross:

AndthenshetoldmethatsheandJoeyhadbrokenup,andthatpartofthereasonwasthatshehadfeelingsforme.

Rachel:

（clearlynotlisteningandstilltryingtofindoutwhereJoeywent）Uh-huh...right...yeah...

Ross:

AndyouknowIwantedtoaskCharlieoutsincethedayImether.

Rachel:

（stillsearching）Oh,Iknow...Iknowit'sbeenreallyhardforyou.

Ross:

Anyway,onethingleadtoanother,and...oh...beforeyouknowit,wewerekissing.Imean,howangrydoyouthinkJoeyisgonnabe?

Rachel:

（nowlookingupattheceiling）Thatishardtosay,Ross.Thatishardtosay.

Ross:

Youknow,Igottagofindhim.He'sgottabeheresomeplace.

Rachel:

Youwouldthink!

（Rossleavestheroom）

Rachel:

Joey!

Joey:

Ishegone?

Rachel:

（stillcan'tfindhim）Howareyoudoingthis?

（Joeynowenterstheroomthroughthedoor,Monica,ChandlerandPhoebearefollowinghim.）

Joey:

Pssst...

Rachel:

How...wha...Hey!

Whatareyou...Whatisthis?

Haveyouguysbeenlisteningthisentiretime?

Monica,ChandlerandPhoebe:

YE-AH!

Phoebe:

Now,whatisthis?

Rachel:

Ah,whatisthis?

Well,letssee,wekissedfortenminutesandnowwe'retalkingtoourfriendsaboutit,soIguessthisissixthgrade!

Phoebe:

Ohno...Haveyouthoughtaboutithowcomplicatedthiscouldget?

WhataboutRoss?

Joey:

Well,he'swithCharlienow.

Monica:

Yeah,buthewantstotalktoyoubeforeanythingreallyhappenswithher.Andashisfriend,Imean,don'tyouthinkhedeservesthesamefromyou?

Joey:

（longpauseandhetwitchesabit）You'reapaininmyass,Geller!

Rachel:

Allright,lookyouguys...Look,weappreciatealltheadvice,butthisisbetweenJoeyandmeandIthinkwecanhandleit...

Chandler:

Okay,wellwe'llgobackinthere,butwillyoudoonethingforus?

Thepeoplethatcareaboutyou?

Rachel:

Sure...

Chandler:

Enunciate!

Rachel:

Getout!

（TheyleaveandRachellocksthedoor.）

Rachel:

Aretheyright?

Joey:

Probably,yeah...Imean,maybeweshould...holdoffuntilwetalktoRoss.

Rachel:

Yeah...Yeah,wecanwait,wedon'thavetodoanythingtonight.

Joey:

Yeah,Ithinkthat'dbebest...So,soI'mgonna...I'mgonnatakeoff...

Rachel:

（Joeywalkstothedoor）Although...

Joey:

（turnsaroundveryfast）Ilikealthough!

Rachel:

Imean,youknow...Rossand