duolingo考试套路Day 3.docx

duolingo考试套路Day 3.docx

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duolingo考试套路Day3

Day3

Theboywakesupseventimesinthenightreadytoputhisplanintoaction.Whenhisactualwake-uptimearrives,hedoesn’thearhisalarmgooffandheoversleepsfortwelveminutes.HeleapsoutofbedandtriestorushthroughhisregularmorningroutinebutWillardhasoccupiedthebathroomforthelasthalfhour.

“Willard,IneedtogetinthebathroomandI’mreallyinarush.Couldyoupleasehurryitup?

”theboyaskswhileleaninghisheadonthedoor.

Willardreplieswithawheezyyetaffirmativegrunt.Thedooropensandbillowsofsteampourout.Willardmaterializesthroughthesmokewearingapinkterryclothtowelaroundhiswaist.Theboydoesn’twanttostarebuthe’samazedbythesizeofWillard’sbreastsandthedeeppurplecoloringofhisnipples.HelooksupandseesWillardsmiling,proudofhischestprotrusions.

“Oh,thanks,Willy,Ireallyappreciateit.”

Theboyreallydoeslikehisbrotherandfeelsbadthathedoesn’ttalktohimmoreoften.Hewouldneveradmitit,eventohimself,butmostoftheanimosityhefeelstowardsWillardisbecausehe’sjelousofhisbrother’sunexplainable-yet-enourmouspopularity.Whenheentersthebathroomandseesthebodyoilpuddlesonthebathroomfloor,herememberswhyWillardisn’tthemostconvenientofbrothers.

Afteralmostslippinghisbrother’sliquid,theboyskipstheshowerandzipsaroundthehouseretrievingnotebookpaper,alargerollofducttapeandscentedmarkers.Hepullstheblueraspberrymarkeroutofthepackageasblueraspberryishisfavoriteflavor,mostlybecauseitdoesn’texistinnature,onlyintheaislesofcandyandtoystores.Asheworksonhisproject,hewonderswhythemarkerandcandycompanymarketingexecutiveshaven’tdevelopedbeyondtheirinventionofblueraspberryaspinkbananaorvioletpearsoundjustasdelicious.Hewritesasifhehadtocarvethewordsintothepaper,graspingthemarkerinhisfistlikeaknife.Hegrindsthewords“YOUARENOTALONE”intothepage.HeplacesthepieceofpaperonhischestandtapesittohisstripedT-shirt.Theboylooksinthemirrorandseeshehastapedthesignonhischestcrookedly.Hefixesitandwalkstothebusstop.

Theboy’snervousnessmakeshimtriponthebusstairsandhealmosthitshisheadonthestickshift.Heusuallycallsaslittleattentiontohimselfaspossibleandhischestbillboardhaspetrifiedhismotorskillsintoanearlyincapacitatedstate.Ontherareoccasionthathedoestrytostandout,hedoesn’tfollowthe“how-to-be-different-without-being-considered-a-freak”guidelinescloselyenoughanditusuallyendsinridicule（see“CrazyHairDay”asanexample）.Hewearsthestandardissueclothingforaboyhisageandneverentersthetalentshow.Hecan’tbelievehe’snowaskingforhisclassmatestostareathim,buthefiguredhissignwouldbethebestwaytoletthekidsknowthatheknowswithoutbeingoverlyconfrontational.

Ashewalksdownthebusaisle,heimaginesallofthestaringfacesunitingtoformaresistancepartyaftertheygaintheknowledge.Theywouldoverthrowthesystem,marchingdownthestreetswithtorcheschanting,“we’rekids!

we’remad!

nomorebaddads!

”Thebaddadswouldpleadforforgivenessbutwouldnotgetadripofsympathy.Afterreceivingaheapingservingofthesametreatmenttheyladledouttotheirfamilymembers,theywouldallbeshippedtotheirrespectivecompanies,nevertoreturnhome.Theywouldbeforcedtosetupcotsintheircubicles,usingstacksofcopypaperaspillows.

“Um,whyareyouwearingthatonyourshirt?

”theyoungerkidsittingtohisleftasks24secondsafterhe’stakenhisseatonthevinylgreenbench.

“Justthinkaboutit,”theboysaysasheturnstolookathim.Theyoungerboy’steethareorangefromtheprocessedcheesehe’snibblingon.

“Iwas...butIcouldn’tfigureitoutsothat’swhenIaskedyou.”

“Look,it'snotjustyourfamily.It’salloftheirstoo,”theboywhispers.

Theyoungerboylooksstraightintheboy’seyesforaeightseconds.

“Okay...Iguess.Doyouwantsomecheese?

”theyoungerboysaysashereturnstopickingathisorangesquarereservedforlunch.Theboyignoreshisquestion.

Atschool,theboywalksslowlythroughthehalls,tellinghimselfhewantstomakesurethekidshavetimetoreadthemessage,butactuallyhehopeshismovementswillbesominutethathe’lljustdisappearintohissurroundings.Mostofthekidsstoptolookbuthecan’ttelliftheintensestaresathischestarefromconcentrationorconfusionaboutthemessage.

“Excuseme,butwhatisthatonyourshirt?

”Ms.Berquistasksinhomeroom.

Shehasresistedaskingaboutthemessagebecauseshe’sconvinceditsthelatestingredientintheconspiracytodriveherinsane.

“It’snotforyou,”theboyreplies.

Ms.Berquistresistshertemptationtosmacktheboy.Shedeteststhefacthercuriosityleadshertoaskasecondquestion.

“Thenwhoisitfor?

”

“Um...it’sforthem...forus,”theboysaysashelooksdownathisdesk.

“Well,Idon’tlikebeingleftoutofthejoke.Kindlyremovethesign.”

“It'snotajoke.Look,theotherkidshavethingswrittenontheirshirts.HehasaswooshonhisandshehasthatMexicanrestaurantsloganwrittenonhers.”

“Okay,then,newclassrule:

nomessagesonclothing.Onlysolidcolorsorrepeatedpatternswillbetolerated.WhenIsay‘notalkinginclass,thatgoesforyourclothingaswell.Takeitoffnow,”Ms.Berquistsayssternlywithtenselips,tryingtocontainherrage.

Theboysighsashepeelsoffthepaper,butonlyseesthisasatemporarydefeatasheplanstoputthesignbackonatlunch.

OnceMs.Berquistisoutofsight,theboyparadesaroundtheplaygroundusinghischestasabillboardtospreadtheword.He’sgottenusedtotheattentionhisblue-raspberrylettersattract.Mostofthekidsjustwhisperandstarebutthen,towardstheendofrecess,theboybeginstonoticeafewkidsreadingthesigninsilence.Justashebeginstofeellikeheismakingsomeprogress,whatfeelslikeahundredhandssmackhisbottom.Confusedandinpain,herunstothebathroomasmorehandsslaphim.Helockshimselfinabathroomstall,pullsdownhispantsandlooksbehindtoseethedamage.Heseesapieceofpaperonhisbackandpullsitoff.“Spankmynauddybottom,”thesignreadsinlettersthatmimichisoriginalpostedsign.Theboyflopsdownonthetoiletinfrustration.Hecan’tfigureoutwhythesekidsdon’twanttoacknowledgetheproblemorbehelped.Heunderstandsthattheyarejustafraidbecausethey’vebeentrainedtoneverspeakabouttheirbaddads.Perhapsthethesignwastoosubtle.Hedecidesthattomorrowhewouldutilizeamoredirect,as-yet-undeterminedtechniquetocoerceadiscussionofthebaddadplague.Hestandsup,flusheshisclassmates’sign,pullsuphispantsandleavesthestall.Downbutnotout,theboyexitsthebathroomtoachorusofhisclassmateslaughter.

Whenherushesthroughhisfrontdoorafterschool,theboybumpsintohismomandherbowlofpopcorndropstotheground.

“Whoa,whereareyouofftoinsucharush?

Iseverythingokay?

”hismomasks.

“Uhh,itsnothing,Imean,Idon’tthinkyouwouldunderstand,”hesaysashecontinuesupthestairs.

“Wait,wait,wait,slowdown.Look,justtryme.Youneverknow,Imightbeabletohelp.C’mon,Ijustwanttounderstandwhat’sbeengoingonwithyou.”

Theboystopsandturnsaround.Hehasbeenfeelinglikehewillburstifhedoesn’ttellsomeonesoon.Theweightofsociety’sproblemshavepressedonhimfor50hoursnowandhefigureshismomwouldbetheleastlikelytothinkheisinsane.Hesitsonastepashepreparestosharehisfindings.

“Um...well...doyoureallywanttoknow?

Imean,youmightthinkI’mcrazy.Itsjust...okay,I’lljusttellyou.Well,yousee,I’vekindamadethis...discovery,anditssomethingthatmayexplainwhyMrs.McFaddenandeveryoneelseactsthewaytheydo.Well,twonightsagoIsawsomethingintheneighborhoodthatwasreally...odd.Imean,Iwasjustwalkingaroundandlookedinourneighbors’windowsandsaw...saw...”

“Yousawthem,didn’tyou?

”hismominterrupts.

“Sawwho?

”

“Them...outthere,”hismomsaysasshepointstowardthedoor.

“Well,I’mnotsureifwe’retalkingaboutthesamethembutwhatasawwasabunchofthedads...”

“Yeah,theBadDads,”hismomsays.

“Youknow?

But...ifyouknow,thendoeseveryoneknow?

”

“See,Iknewyouknew,oratleastIknewyou’dfindoutsoonerorlater.Icouldjusttell.”

“Okay,butdoeseveryoneknow?

”

“Um,I’mnotsure.Well,Idon’tthinkso.Or,actually,Ithinktheyprobablydoknowbutjustcan’ttalkaboutit.”

“Thenhowdoyouknowandwhyareyouokaytalkingaboutit?

”

Hismomsitsnexttohimonthestairsandholdshishand.Theboylikeshismother’stouchbutbecomesoverlyawareoftheheateminatingfromhishand.

“Well,hun,Ireallydon’tknowhowtoputthis.Y’see,youandIaren’tlikeeveryoneelse.Weseethingsotherpeopledon’twanttosee.Mostofthemjustgothroughthemotionsoflifewithoutquestioninganything.Imean...IknowyoumaythinkI’mjustasstrangeastherestofthembecauseIjustsithomealldaywatchingmyprograms,but,totellyouthetruth,it'sjustthatI’mafraidofthem...themassesandtheirsilence.Idon’tseehowtheydoit...orwhytheydoit.I’veneverbeenabletounderstand,butit'ssuchareliefthatnowyouknowtoo.Iknewjustknewyou’dseeit.”

Hismomstopslookingathimandfocuseshereyesonherpopcornscatteredoverthebluecarpet.Theboyfeelsbaddoingsobuthehastopullhishandawayfromhismom’stostopwh