第七季.docx

第七季.docx

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第七季

701TheOneWithMonica’sThunder

[Scene:

Monica,Chandler,andPhoebe's,Chandler,Joey,Rachel,andPhoebearestandingaroundthetabledrinkingchampagneasRossenters.]

Ross:

Hey,what’sgoingon?

Chandler:

Hey.

Ross:

Ifoundanoteonmydoor,"CometoMonica’squick,bringchampagneandaThreeMusketeersbar."

Joey:

（grabbingthecandybar）YeahI’lltakethat.

Ross:

What’sup?

Chandler:

MonicaandIareengaged.

Ross:

OhmyGod.（HugsChandler.）Congratulations.

Chandler:

Thanks.

Ross:

Whereisshe?

[CuttoMonicaoutonthebalcony.]

Monica:

（yellingatthetopofherlungs）I’mengaged!

!

!

!

!

!

I’mengaged!

!

!

!

[Cutbackinside.]

Joey:

Yeah,she’sbeenouttherefortwentyminutes,I’msurprisedyoudidn’thearheronthewayover.

Ross:

Oh,Ithoughtitwasjustakidyelling,"I’mgay!

I’mgay!

"CanIbringherin?

Phoebe:

Ohno,letherstayoutthere.It’ssweet.

[CuttoMonica.]

Monica:

I’mgettingmarried!

!

!

!

I’mgonnabeabride!

!

!

!

（Someoneelseyellsather.）No,IwillnotshutupbecauseI’mengaged!

（Heyellsagain.）Ohh,bigtalk!

Huh,whydon’tyoucomeoverhereandsaythattome?

!

Huh,buddy?

!

Yeah,myfianceewillkickyourass!

（Chandlerstartstolookworried.）Comeon,apartment20!

Apartment20!

[Cutbackinside.]

Chandler:

（ToRoss）Okay,yougetherinhere.（ToJoey）Youboltthedoor.I’llbeinthecloset.

OpeningCredits

[Scene:

Monica,Chandler,andPhoebe's,continuedfromearlier,everyoneisnowinthelivingroomdrinkingchampagne.]

Monica:

Okay!

Wait-wait-wait!

Shhh!

（Bangsonherclasswithaspoontomakeatoast.）Okay,umm,Ijustwannasaythat…Iloveyouguysso-somuchand-andthankyouforbeinghereonmyspecialnight.（Chandlerclearshisthroat.）Ourspecialnight.Imeanitjustwouldn’tbemy—our-ournight,ifyouallweren’theretocelebratewithme—us—Damnit!

Chandler:

It’sokay,Iwantthistobeyournighttoo.（Raiseshisclass.）ToMonica.

Monica:

Awww,comeon—wait—stopit.Okay,toMonica.

Chandler:

ToMonica!

（TheyallsaytoMonica,clinktheirglasses,anddrink.）

Phoebe:

Sohaveyoudecidedonabandforthewedding?

Because,y’know,I’mkindamusical.

Rachel:

YeahPheebs,honey,shejustgotengagedacoupleofhoursago.Idoubtshe’sevenhadtimeto…

Phoebe:

Wellspeakingofchimingin,rememberthetimeyouburneddownmyapartment?

Rachel:

（ToMonica）Yeah,you’reonyourown.

Monica:

Y’knowwhatweshoulddo?

WeshouldallgetdressedupandgotohavechampagneatThePlaza.

（Theyallagreeandstarttogoandgetready.）

Joey:

ButI-I-Ican’tstaytoolong,IgottagetupearlyforacommercialauditiontomorrowandIgottalookgood.I’msupposedtobeplayinga19-year-old.（Everyonestopsintheirtracksuponhearingthis.）What?

Chandler:

Sowhenyousaid,"Getupearly,"didyoumean1986?

Joey:

Youguysdon’tthinkIlook19?

（Abriefsilenceensues.）

Phoebe:

Oh,19!

Wethoughtyousaid90!

（Theyallpolitelylaughandstopjustasquickly.）

Monica:

Okayeverybody,let’sgo!

Let’sgo!

Rachel:

Okay.

Chandler:

Okay.

（TheyallleaveandJoeycomesbackinquickly.）

Joey:

（ToPhoebe）Hey,isuhtherestofmycandybararoundhere?

Phoebe:

Ohhoneyno,youateitall.

Joey:

Iwasafraidofthat.

（WalksoutandafterheclosesthedoorPhoebeturnsaroundandtakesabiteoutofwhatisleftofhiscandybar.）

[Scene:

MonicaandChandler’sbedroom,they’regettingready.]

Monica:

（lookingatherhand）Y’knowwhatshoeswouldlookgreatwiththisring?

Diamondshoes!

（SeesChandlersittingonthebed.）You’renotgettingdressed.（Chandlerquietlyfoldsoverthecomforteronthebedmakingaspotforher.）

Chandler:

KnowwhatImean?

Monica:

Yeah,butIdon’tthinkwehavetime.

Chandler:

There’sgonnabeawedding.You’regonnabethebride.Twohundredpeoplearegoingtobelookingatyouinacleanwhitedress.

Monica:

（lustily）Let’sdoit!

（Shekisseshimandtheyfallbackontothebed.）

[Scene:

Monica,Chandler,andPhoebe's,timelapse,Chandlerisfullydressedandslowlywalkingoutofthebedroomwithadistressedlookonhisface.]

Monica:

（chasingafterhim）Chandler!

Ithappenstolotsofguys!

You-you-youwereprobablytired,youhadalotofchampagne,don’tworryaboutit!

Chandler:

（motioningwithhishands）I’mnotworried,I’muh,I’mfascinated.Y’knowit’slikeuh,Biology!

WhichisfunnybecauseinhighschoolIuh,I-IfailedBiologyandtonightBiologyfailedme.（ExitsasPhoebeentersfromherroomwithherguitar.）

Phoebe:

Checkitout.Okay,Icanplaythiswhentheguestsarecomingin.Okay.（Singing）

"FirsttimeImetChandler,Ithoughthewasgay.

ButhereIamsingingonhisweddingday!

"

Monica:

Phoebe!

Phoebe:

Ifyouwould’veletmefinish,itgoesontosaythathe’sprobablynotgay.

[Scene:

JoeyandRachel's,Chandlerislookingatthefoosballtable.]

Chandler:

Sure,youguysdon’thavethisproblem,you’remadeofwood.（Rachelcomesoutofthebathroom）Hey!

Rachel:

Hey!

Chandler:

Youlookgreat!

Rachel:

（quietly）Oh,thanks.

Chandler:

Youokayoverthere?

Rachel:

Idon’tknow,y’know?

Ifeelalittleumm…No,y’knowwhat?

Nevermind,I’mgonnabefine.

Chandler:

Oh,don’tworryaboutitImeanyouprobablyweretired,youhadalotofchampagne,ithappenstoeverybody.

[RachelexitsintothehallwayjustasRossiscomingupthestairs.]

Ross:

Hey!

Rachel:

Hi!

Ross:

Wow!

HappyMonica’snight!

Rachel:

Wellthankyou,youtoo.

Ross:

Thanks.

Rachel:

Hey,doyoubelievethis?

Doyoubelievetheyareactuallygettingmarried?

Ross:

Wellsure.ButIgetmarriedallthetimeso…

Rachel:

Ohh…

Ross:

Youokay?

Rachel:

Yeah,Iguess.I-I…Imean,do-doyouthinkwe’reevergonnahavethat?

Ross:

Youmean,we—youandme?

Rachel:

Ohno-no-no-no-no,no,no!

We,youwithsomeoneandmewithsomeone.

Ross:

Ohgood,youscaredmeforaminute.

Rachel:

Shakeitoff.

Ross:

Imean—no,it’sjust‘cause,it’sjust’causeyouandIwerelikeanightmare.（Screams.）No,buttherewassomegoodtimes.

Rachel:

No,absolutely.Y’knowlikeitwasumm…

Ross:

Surelyyoucanthinkofsomethinggood.

Rachel:

Yeah,justgivemeaminute!

（Thinking）Ohwell,yes,Icanthinkofonegoodthing.

Ross:

What?

Rachel:

Wellyouuh,youwerealwaysreallygoodattheuh,attheuhthestuff.

Ross:

Yeah?

Iwasgoodatthestuffhuh?

Rachel:

Uh-hmm,uh-hmm,yeah,yeah,Ireallylikedyourhands.

Ross:

Myhands?

Rachel:

Yeah.

Ross:

Yeah?

Rachel:

Uh-huh.

Ross:

（tohishands）Waytogoguys.Y’know,you-youwerereallygoodatthestufftoo.

Rachel:

Oh,Iknow.Hey,y’knowwhatweneverdid?

（Rosslooksather.）Ohno,notthat.（Rossnodsokay.）Weuh,weneverhadbonusnight!

Ross:

Awhat?

Rachel:

Y’know,bonusnight.Y’know,whentwopeoplebreakupbuttheygetbacktogetherforjustonenight.

Ross:

Onenight,just-justsex.Nostringsattached?

Rachel:

Yeah-yeah,weneverhadthat,

Ross:

No.

[Silence.]

Ross:

Okay,thisisgettingalittlecrazy.Imean,I’m-I’msureitwouldbeamazingbutI…gottasayIreally-reallydon’tthinkitwouldbeagoodidea.Y’know?

Ireally,really…don’t.

[Scene:

JoeyandRachel's,ChandlerisplayingPlaystation,CrashTeamRacingtobeexact（he’sinlastonHotAirSkywaytobemoreexact）asJoeyentersfromhisroomdesperatelytryingtolooklikea19-year-old.He’sgotthewoolcap,he’sgotthecut-offKnicksjerseyoverthefadedT-shirt,andhe’sgotthewholepants-around-the-knees-showing-off-the-boxersthingthatrich,white,suburbankidshaveadoptedinadesperateandextremelyfutileattempttotrytolooklikethey’refromtheinner-city.]

Joey:

‘Sup?

‘Supdude?

Chandler:

（puttinghishandsup）Takewhateveryouwant,justpleasedon’thurtme.

Joey:

Soyou’replayingalittlePlaystation,huh?

That’swhack!

Playstationiswhack!

‘SupwiththewhackPlaystation,‘sup?

!

Huh?

Comeon,amI19orwhat?

!

Chandler:

Yes,onascalefrom1to10,10beingthedumbestapersoncanlook,youaredefinitely19.

Joey:

Comeonman,reallyhowold?

!

Chandler:

Young!

You’reaman-childokay?

!

Nowgogetchangedbecauseeverybody’sreadyandplease,ohplease,keepmyunderwear!

Joey:

Wowthanks!

（Hegoesintohisbedroomandclosesthedoor.）

Chandler:

Joe?

Joey:

Yeah!

Chandler:

Uhh,you’vehadalotofsexright?

Joey:

When?

Today?

Some,notalot.

Chandler:

Well,it’sjustthereasonthatI’maskingisbecauseIkindofeh,uh,Iwasunableto—ImeanIreallywantedtoo,butIcouldn’t….Therehuh—hmm,there-therewasanincident.

Joey:

Don’tworryaboutthatman,thathappens.

Chandler:

It’shappenedtoyou?

Joey:

Yeah!

Once.

Chandler:

Well,what’dyoudo?

Joey:

Ididitanyway.

[Scene:

Monica,Chandler,andPhoebe's,MonicaisinthelivingroomandPhoebeisinherroom.]

Monica:

Phoebe!

Comeon!

Let’sgo!

（Knocksonherdoor.）Comeon!

（Phoebeenterswithguitarandnotreadytogo.）Whyaren’tyoudressedyet?

!

Phoebe:

I’msorry,butIjustwrotethebestdancesongforyourwedding.Checkthisout.（Getsreadytoplay.）

Monica:

（grabstheguitarawayfromher）No,Phoebe,I’lltellyouwhat,ifyougetreadynowI’llletyouplayitatthewedding.

Phoebe:

Really?

!

Ohthat’ssoexciting!

Thankyou!

ThanksMon!

OhbutMon,ifyoutouchmyguitaragainI’llhavetopoundonyouforalittlebit.

Monica:

Fairenough,nowgogetready!

Phoebe:

Okay.（Shegoestogetready.）

Monica:

I’llgeteverybodyelse（Doesso）,finallywecanstartcelebratingmy—（ShegaspsandisstoppedbythesightofRossandRachelmakingoutinthehall.）I’msorry,uhapparentlyI’veopenedthedoortothepast.

CommercialBreak

[Scene:

Monica,Chandler,andPhoebe's,continuedfrombeforethecommercialbreak.MonicaiswalkingintotheapartmentfollowedbyRossandRachel.]

Ross:

Okay,Monica.Mon,uhwhat-whatyoujustsaw…

Monica:

（interrupting）CanIaskyoujusta