I spent a week at home ordering every on.docx

I spent a week at home ordering every on.docx

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Ispentaweekathomeorderingeveryon

Ispentaweekathomeorderingeveryon-demanddeliveryIcraved.

GoogleExpressbegandeliveriesinNewYorkinMayandwilldebutintheDistrictinOctober.（PhilipMontgomery/CourtesyofGoogle）

Thecoffeearrivesbytextmessage.

Orrather,itarrivesbyafacelessghostnamedToni,who,forameagerfeeof$3,hasventuredtoStarbucksbefore8 a.m.,boughtmeanAmericanowithasplashofskimmilk,andleftitoutsidemybuildingwithoutrousingmefrommySaturday-morningslumber—likeSantaClaus,oraverygoodboyfriend.

BythetimeIgethertextandlumberdownstairsinmypajamas,Toni,whoworksfortheD.C.-baseddeliveryserviceFetchCoffee,hasvanished,leavingbehindonlyamysterious1970s-erathermoswithmymorningjoltinside.Thisreceptaclecreepsmeoutabit,butIampleasantlysurprisedtofindmydrinkstillhotinside,aspromised.Ileavethethermosbythedoor,asanoteinstructs,soFetchcan,uh,fetchiteventually.

Fetchismyfirstforayintothefledglingworldofon-demandservices,andasuccess.Itgivesmejustenoughofabuzztokeepgoing.Foraweek,Iordervariousitemsatwhim,thensitbackandwaitforthemtoarrive.

Acrossthecountry,swarmsofTonisareweavingthroughtraffic,racingtodoorstepsandhaulingawayourdirtyclothesordeliveringourroasted-cauliflowersandwichesandhandcrafted-in-the-Alpsvermouthatalmosttheexactmomentwedecidethatwewantthem.

On-demanddeliveryistherageofSiliconValley,whichmeansthatitwillsoonprobablybethedarlingofWashington,whereeveryoneworkstoomuch,nooneeverhasanytimeandjustabouttheonlyconsensuswe’veeverreachedisthatwaitinginlineisaself-inflictedtorture bestlefttotouristsandothersuckers.

Nowwecansummonbreakfasttacos,KoreanfriedchickenandevenShakeShacktoourdoorswithservicessuchasDoorDash,thePaloAlto,Calif.-basedcompanythatalsooperatesinPhoenix,Boston,HoustonanddozensofCaliforniacities.（Sohighareinvestorsondeliveryservicesthatthecompanypickedup$40 millioninfundingearlierthisyear.）

[Weorderedlunchfromsevendeliveryservicesandhere’swhofedusfastest]

Thenthere’s GoogleExpress,whichwilldispatchpregnancytestsfromWalgreensoranUrbanDecayNakedeye-shadowpalettefromcosmeticscandystoreUlta. Glamsquad or Veluxe willsendmakeupartistsandmanicuriststoyourdoor. Drizly and Ultra andotherliquorserviceswillbringoverbottom-shelfvodkaorpeatyJapanesewhiskyinanhourorless. Washio,theself-proclaimedUberoflaundry,sends“ninjas”toretrieveyourunmentionables.Andthereis,ofcourse,Uber,whichinadditiontotheoccasionalfor-kicks deliveryofkittens and icecream,isnowusingitsdriverstomakefooddrop-offsthroughaserviceithasdubbed UberEats.

EvenEtsy,thatoftenbizarrecraftmarketplace,issettotestsame-daydeliveriesinNewYorkof. . .well,wedon’tknowwhatyet,butprobably flowercrowns.Definitely flowercrowns.

This,we’retold,isthebeginningofafuturefreefromthehumdrumobligationsofpreviousgenerations,fromtheindignitiesofhavingtohuntforquartersforthedryer,eatinrestaurantsandgetdressedinthemorning.

ThetechnewssiteRe/Codehascalledit theInstantGratificationEconomy,anditwilltransformus.Imaginethetimeitwillgiveustopursueourhobbiesandourdreams,toimproveourrelationships.Imaginewhatwe’llcreate!

I’mmullingwhatI’lldowithallmynewfoundleisuretimeasIwait,andwait,forPostmatestodelivermyroastedacornsquashandBrusselssprouttacos.

I’mlivingtheliberateddream.

ExceptthatPostmates,theSanFrancisco-basedstart-upthatjustexpandedto40U.S.markets,haspostedthewrongmenufortherestaurantIselected,andtherearenosquashtacos.IgettwocallsandatextinformingmethatalthoughIcan’thavethesquash,I can havemushrooms.

ExceptthatIhavetohangrilyexplaintoPostmateseachtimetheycallthatI’mallergictomushrooms.Bytheendofthesecondconfusedexchange,I’mnotfeelingliberatedatall.I’mreachingfortheBenadryl.

AriannaWilson,left,aPostmatesdeliverywoman,picksupanorderfromFarEastTacoGrillein2013.TherestauranthassinceswitchedtoCaviar,anotherdeliveryservice.（JeffreyMacMillan）

Theinconveniencesoftheconvenienceindustryprovetobeathemethroughouttheweek:

Onenight,asIwaitformyWashiodrycleaningforanhourbeyondmyallotteddeliverytime,Ifindmyselfobsessivelycheckingmyphoneincasemyninjatexts.Hedoesn’t.（Inthisway,he’slikeabadboyfriend.）

MyorderforFrenchvermouthandginthroughDrizlygoesfarbetter:

IgetmypristinebottlesinaslickDrizlybag10 minutesintothedeliverywindow.Cooltrick,Ithink,asIlugthebottlesupstairs,buthowoftenwillIuseit?

WhatIneedissomeonetosparemethedrudgeryofbuyingtoiletpaper.

WhichiswhereInstacartwouldseemtocomein.Butthistime,Ididn’tevengettotheordering.ThecatlitterIcangetIRLfor$8.99atGiantissomehow$13.49atSafewaythroughtheservice,plusatleast$5.99indeliveryfeesifIwantitwithinthehour.（Drizlycharges$5;GoogleExpresscharges$4.99foreachstoreyouorderfrom.）I’mallforsomeoneelselugging20 poundsofpetparaphernaliaforme,but,IrealizeasIscantheprices,I’mnottoogoodtosavesomemoney.

OnGoogleExpress—deliveringmorefreetime!

—Ican’tfindtheunbleachedconecoffeefiltersIlike,andthehint-of-limetortillachipsthatdomakeitintomyonlinecartjustasquicklygoout.They’vesoldoutbeforeIcanplacemyorder,andbesides,GoogleExpressinformsme,itcan’tbringmyStarWarscharacter-shapedmacaroniandcheesetoday,anyway.Alloftoday’sdeliverytimes—whichwouldhavemechainedtomyapartmentfora four-hourwindow—areunavailable,too.

MickJaggerwasright:

Youcan’talwaysgetwhatyouwant.Worse,Ican’tevengetthethingsIneed.（UnlessI’mwillingtopay40 percentmore,plusadeliverycharge.）

Igiveupanddrivetothestore.

Deliveryisn’tnew,ofcourse.Fordecades,we’veopenedourdoorstofindnewspapers,flowers,pizza,Chinesefoodandsingingtelegrams.Peapod,foundedin1989,haddeliveredamilliongroceryordersby1998.Andtechnically,afewentrepreneurialzealotslaunchedon-demanddeliveryinthelate1990swithWebsitessuchasUrbanfetchandK,whichcouldbringyouPop-Tarts,DVDsandprophylacticsasfastasyoucouldgetapizzadelivered.

Butnowwecanenterourcreditcardnumbersdirectlyintoanapp（conveniently,they’llprobablybestoredforalleternity）.We’renotafraidtotapourphonescreensonceortwiceandbedonewiththewholeexchange.Whenitcomestoflaggingacab,weincreasinglypreferit.

Thatculturalshift,saysTonyChen,co-founderofFetchCoffee,hasopenedthedoorforawaveofthesenewpurveyorsofconvenience.It‘sjustunclearhowthey’regoingtomakeanymoney.

“Themarginsarenothigh,”Chensaysofhiscoffeebusiness,whichcharges$3perdeliveryandhasonlyafewdozenregularsubscribers.Butthen,hesays,“mostdeliverycompaniesareworkingonverylowmargins.”

Lowmarginsweren’ttheproblemforservicessuchasK,whichflamedoutin2001afterlosingbucketsofinvestors’money:

Theyweresimplytooearlyforasocietythatwasstillwaryofshoppingonline,Cheninsists.

Er,yeah,butnow,eventhoughIcanhaveacoffeedroppedonmydoorstep—aslongasIonlywantStarbucks,andaslongasIwantitdeliveredbefore10 a.m.—Ican’thelpthinkingthatIcouldjustwalktothecornerandgetitmyself.

SowhydoIfeellikeIdon’thavethetimetodoit?

Becausewe’reworkingforasmanyhoursasourbodieswillletus.

“Theexpectationsforeverybodyatworkhavereallyratchetedupoverthepast30years,sothenyoureallyhavenotimeforthestuffoflife,”saysBrigidSchulte,aformerWashingtonPostreporterandauthorofthebest-sellingbook“Overwhelmed:

HowtoWork,Love,andPlayWhenNoOneHastheTime.”

It’sprobablynotacoincidencethaton-demanddeliveryisthebrainchildofSiliconValley,wherecompaniesofferlunches,napareas,shuttlestoworkandother“perks”designedtokeepemployeesonthejobinsteadofstuckintraffic,or,youknow,workingontheirsociallives.

What’slostinthenameofefficiency?

Ihavenofriendlychatswithaneighborhoodbaristaortheownerofmyfavoritesandwichplace.Ican’texplaintothedrycleanerhowsentimentalI’vebecomeaboutmyfair-tradebatik-printdressfromAfrica.Myvariousninjascantextme,butIcan’teverreachthem.

Deliveryoffersspeedandescapefromdutieslongconsidereddrudgework,butinteractingwithothers,Schultesays,hasbeenproventoboosthappiness.Thedeliveryeconomy“doesreallyraisethosequestionsabouthumanconnection,”shesays.“Coulditbethatthisfreesupmoretimesothatwecanbewiththepeoplewe do loveandcareabout?

Thatcouldpotentiallybeagoodthing.

“Or,”sheasks,“isitjustanothercoarseninganddistancingofourselvesfromotherpeople?

”

Aweekintomylittleexperiment,Iwakeuphungryforabanhmi.There’sonerestaurantintownthatdeliversasolidone,butit’sclosedonMondays.

I’vealreadybeguntoacceptthatdeliveryculturerequiresalotofsettling.IpretendI’mcapableofgoingwiththeflowanddecidethatIcanprobablygoforsomeMexicanfoodinstead.Buttherestaurantdownthestreetisn’topeneither,orsosaysmyDoorDashapp.

Onawhim,Icall.Asitturnsout,they’renotclosedatall.Iorderanavocadotortaforcarry-out,andjustbeforehangingup,Iaskwhenitwillbeready.

Thewomanontheotherendpauses.“Um,fivem