《老友记》第一季剧本全集【双语】【中英对照】.docx

《老友记》第一季剧本全集【双语】【中英对照】.docx

《《老友记》第一季剧本全集【双语】【中英对照】.docx》由会员分享，可在线阅读，更多相关《《老友记》第一季剧本全集【双语】【中英对照】.docx（237页珍藏版）》请在冰豆网上搜索。

101TheOneWhereMonicaGetsaNewRoommate（ThePilot-TheUncutVersion）

[Scene:

CentralPerk,Chandler,Joey,Phoebe,andMonicaarethere.]

Monica:

There'snothingtotell!

He'sjustsomeguyIworkwith!

Joey:

Comeon,you'regoingoutwiththeguy!

There'sgottabesomethingwrongwithhim!

Chandler:

AllrightJoey,benice. Sodoeshehaveahump?

Ahumpandahairpiece?

Phoebe:

Wait,doesheeatchalk?

（Theyallstare,bemused.）

Phoebe:

Just,'cause,Idon'twanthertogothroughwhatIwentthroughwithCarl-oh!

Monica:

Okay,everybodyrelax.Thisisnotevenadate.It'sjusttwopeoplegoingouttodinnerand-nothavingsex.

Chandler:

Soundslikeadatetome.

[TimeLapse]

Chandler:

Alright,soI'mbackinhighschool,I'mstandinginthemiddleofthecafeteria,andIrealizeIamtotallynaked.

All:

Oh,yeah.Hadthatdream.

Chandler:

ThenIlookdown,andIrealizethere'saphone...there.

Joey:

Insteadof...?

Chandler:

That'sright.

Joey:

Neverhadthatdream.

Phoebe:

No.

Chandler:

Allofasudden,thephonestartstoring.NowIdon'tknowwhattodo,everybodystartslookingatme.

Monica:

Andtheyweren'tlookingatyoubefore?

!

Chandler:

Finally,IfigureI'dbetteranswerit,anditturnsoutit'smymother,whichisvery-veryweird,because-shenevercallsme!

[TimeLapse,Rosshasentered.]

Ross:

（mortified）Hi.

Joey:

Thisguysayshello,Iwannakillmyself.

Monica:

Areyouokay,sweetie?

Ross:

Ijustfeellikesomeonereacheddownmythroat,grabbedmysmallintestine,pulleditoutofmymouthandtieditaroundmyneck...

Chandler:

Cookie?

Monica:

（explainingtotheothers）Carolmovedherstuffouttoday.

Joey:

Ohh.

Monica:

（toRoss）Letmegetyousomecoffee.

Ross:

Thanks.

Phoebe:

Ooh!

Oh!

（ShestartstopluckattheairjustinfrontofRoss.）

Ross:

No,nodon't!

Stopcleansingmyaura!

No,justleavemyauraalone,okay?

Phoebe:

Fine!

 Bemurky!

Ross:

I'llbefine,alright?

Really,everyone.Ihopeshe'llbeveryhappy.

Monica:

Noyoudon't.

Ross:

NoIdon't,tohellwithher,sheleftme!

Joey:

Andyouneverknewshewasalesbian...

Ross:

No!

!

Okay?

!

Whydoeseveryonekeepfixatingonthat?

Shedidn'tknow,howshouldIknow?

Chandler:

SometimesIwishIwasalesbian...（Theyallstareathim.）DidIsaythatoutloud?

Ross:

Itoldmomanddadlastnight,theyseemedtotakeitprettywell.

Monica:

Ohreally,sothathystericalphonecallIgotfromawomanatsobbing3:

00A.M.,"I'llneverhavegrandchildren,I'llneverhavegrandchildren."waswhat?

 Awrongnumber?

Ross:

Sorry.

Joey:

AlrightRoss,look.You'refeelingalotofpainrightnow.You'reangry.You'rehurting.CanItellyouwhattheansweris?

（Rossgestureshisconsent.）

Joey:

Stripjoint!

C'mon,you'resingle!

Havesomehormones!

Ross:

Idon'twanttobesingle,okay?

Ijust...Ijust-Ijustwannabemarriedagain!

（Rachelentersinawetweddingdressandstartstosearchtheroom.）

Chandler:

AndIjustwantamilliondollars!

（Heextendshishandhopefully.）

Monica:

Rachel?

!

Rachel:

OhGodMonicahi!

ThankGod!

Ijustwenttoyourbuildingandyouweren'tthereandthenthisguywithabighammersaidyoumightbehereandyouare,youare!

Waitress:

CanIgetyousomecoffee?

Monica:

（pointingatRachel）De-caff.（toAll）Okay,everybody,thisisRachel,anotherLincolnHighsurvivor.（toRachel）Thisiseverybody,thisisChandler,andPhoebe,andJoey,and-youremembermybrotherRoss?

Rachel:

Hi,sure!

Ross:

Hi.

（TheygotohugbutRoss'sumbrellaopens. Hesitsbackdowndefeatedagain. AmomentofsilencefollowsasRachelsitsandtheothersexpecthertoexplain.）

Monica:

Soyouwannatellusnow,orarewewaitingforfourwetbridesmaids?

Rachel:

OhGod...well,itstartedaboutahalfhourbeforethewedding.Iwasintheroomwherewewerekeepingallthepresents,andIwaslookingatthisgravyboat.ThisreallygorgeousLamaugegravyboat.Whenallofasudden-（tothewaitressthatbroughthercoffee）Sweet'n'Lo?

-IrealizedthatIwasmoreturnedonbythisgravyboatthanbyBarry!

AndthenIgotreallyfreakedout,andthat'swhenithitme:

howmuchBarrylookslikeMr.PotatoHead.Y'know,Imean,Ialwaysknewlookedfamiliar,but...Anyway,Ijusthadtogetoutofthere,andIstartedwondering'WhyamIdoingthis,andwhoamIdoingthisfor?

'.（toMonica）SoanywayIjustdidn'tknowwheretogo,andIknowthatyouandIhavekindadriftedapart,butyou'retheonlypersonIknewwholivedhereinthecity.

Monica:

Whowasn'tinvitedtothewedding.

Rachel:

Ooh,Iwaskindahopingthatwouldn'tbeanissue...

[Scene:

Monica'sApartment,everyoneisthereandwatchingaSpanishSoaponTVandaretryingtofigureoutwhatisgoingon.]

Monica:

NowI'mguessingthatheboughtherthebigpipeorgan,andshe'sreallynothappyaboutit.

Chandler:

（imitatingthecharacters）Tunaoreggsalad?

 Decid