六人行13The One With the ThumbWord格式.docx

六人行13The One With the ThumbWord格式.docx

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Sincealways.It'

slikedatinglanguage.Y'

know,like'

It'

snotyou'

Itisyou'

Chandler:

Or'

You'

resuchaniceguy'

I'

mgonnabedatingleather-wearingalcoholicsandcomplainingaboutthemtoyou'

Or,or,y'

know,um,'

Ithinkweshouldseeotherpeople'

Ha,ha,Ialreadyam'

Andeverybodyknowsthis?

Yeah.Cushionstheblow.

Yeah,it'

slikewhenyou'

reakid,andyourparentsputyourdogtosleep,andtheytellyouitwentofftoliveonsomefarm.

That'

sfunny,that,no,because,uh,ourparentsactuallydid,uh,sendourdogofftoliveonafarm.

Uh,Ross.

Wh-hello?

TheMillners'

farminConnecticut?

TheMillners,theyhadthisunbelievablefarm,theyhadhorses,and,andrabbitsthathecouldchaseanditwas-itw-.....OhmyGod,ChiChi!

OpeningCredits

ChandlerandJoey'

s,ChandlerishelpingJoeyrehearseforapart.]

"

Sohowdoesitfeelknowingyou'

reabouttodie?

"

Warden,infiveminutesmypainwillbeover.Butyou'

llhavetolivewiththeknowledgethatyousentanhonestmantodie."

Hey,thatwasreallygood!

Thanks!

Let'

skeepgoing.

Okay."

So.Whaddyawantfromme,Damone,huh?

Ijustwannagobacktomycell.'

Causeinmycell,Icansmoke."

Smokeaway."

（Joeytakesoutapackofcigarettesandalighter.Hefumblesanddropsthelighter.Thenhelightsacigarett,takesadrag,andcoughs.）

IthinkthisisprobablywhyDamonesmokesinhiscellalone.

Relaxyourhand!

（Joeyletshiswristgolimp.）

Notsomuch!

Whoah!

Hey!

Alright,nowtrytakingapuff.

（Joeytriesandvisiblywinces.）

Alright..okay.No.Giveittome.

Nonono,Iamnotgivingyouacigarette.

It'

sfine,it'

sfine.Look,doyouwannagetthispart,ornot?

Here.

（Joeyreluctantlygiveshimthecigarette.）

Don'

tthinkofitasacigarette.Thinkofitasthethingthat'

sbeenmissingfromyourhand.Whenyou'

reholdingit,youfeelright.Youfeelcomplete.

Y'

missit?

Nah,notsomuch.Alright,nowwesmoke.（Takesapuff.）Oh..my..God.（Hecontinuestosmoke.）

[Scene,CentralPerk,everyoneexceptPhoebeandRachelisthere.]

No,no,no.Theysayit'

sthesameasthedistancefromthetipofaguy'

sthumbtothetipofhisindexfinger.

（Theguysstretchouttheirfingers.）

sridiculous!

CanIuse..eitherthumb?

（carryingatrayofdrinks）Alright,don'

ttellme,don'

ttellme!

（Startshandingthemout.）DecafcappucinoforJoey..Coffeeblack..Late..Andanicedtea.I'

mgettingprettygoodatthis!

Yeah.Yeah,excellent.

（leavingtoserveothers）Goodforme!

（ThegangswapsallthedrinksforwhattheyorderedasPhoebeenters.Shesitsdownwithoutsayinghi.）

okay,Phoebe?

Yeah-no-I'

mjust-it'

s,Ihaven'

tworked-It'

smybank.

Whatdidtheydotoyou?

snothing,it'

sjust-Okay.I'

mgoingthroughmymail,andIopenuptheirmonthly,youknow,STATEMENT-

Easy.

-andthere'

sfivehundredextradollarsinmyaccount.

Oh,Satan'

sminionsatworkagain...

Yes,'

causenowIhavetogodownthere,anddealwiththem.

Whatareyoutalkingabout?

Keepit!

snotmine,Ididn'

tearnit,ifIkeptit,itwouldbelikestealing.

Yeah,butifyouspentit,itwouldbelikeshopping!

Okay.Okay,let'

ssayIboughtareallygreatpairofshoes.DoyouknowwhatI'

dhear,witheverystepItook?

'

Not-mine.Not-mine.Not-mine.'

AndevenifIwashappy,okay,and,andskipping-'

Not-not-mine,not-not-mine,not-not-mine,not-not-mine'

...

We'

rewithyou.Wegotit.

（Chandlerleansoverthebackofthecouchoutofsight.）

Okay.I'

d-just-I'

dneverbeabletoenjoyit.Itwouldbelikethisgiantkarmicdebt.

Chandler,whatareyoudoing?

（pulinghimup）Hey.Whaddyadoing?

（Chandlertriestoshrugnonchalantlybuteventuallyhehastoexhaleamouthfulofsmoke.）

Oh!

Oh,God!

Whatisthis?

!

I'

msmoking.I'

msmoking,I'

msmoking.

Oh,Ican'

tbelieveyou!

You'

vebeensogood,forthreeyears!

Andthis-ismyreward!

Holdonasecond,alright?

Justthinkaboutwhatyouwentthroughthelasttimeyouquit.

Okay,sothistimeIwon'

tquit!

Ohhh!

Putitout!

Allright!

mputtingitout,I'

mputtingitout.（HedropsitinPhoebe'

scoffee.）

Oh,no!

I-Ican'

tdrinkthisnow!

Alright.I'

mgonnagochange,I'

vegotadate.

ThisAlanagain?

How'

sitgoin'

?

S'

goingprettygood,y'

know?

snice,and,we'

rehavingfun.

Sowhendowegettomeettheguy?

ssee,today'

sMonday...Never.

Oh,comeon!

Comeon!

No.NotafterwhathappenedwithSteve.

WeloveSchhteve!

Schhtevewasschhexy!

..Sorry.

Look,Idon'

tevenknowhowIfeelabouthimyet.Justgivemeachancetofigurethatout.

Well,thencanwemeethim?

Nope.Schhorry.

Iridium,MonicaandPaulaareatwork.]

Imean,whyshouldIletthemmeethim?

Imean,Ibringaguyhome,andwithinfiveminutesthey'

realloverhim.Imean,they'

relike-coyotes,pickingofftheweakmembersoftheherd.

Paula:

Listen.Assomeonewho'

sseenmorethanherfairshareofbadbeef,I'

lltellyou:

thatisnotsuchaterriblething.Imean,they'

reyourfriends,they'

rejustlookingoutafteryou.

Iknow.Ijustwishthatonce,I'

dbringaguyhomethattheyactuallyliked.

Well,youdorealisetheoddsofthathappeningarealittleslimmeriftheynevergettomeettheguy..

MonicaandRachel'

s,Chandlerissmokingoutonthebalcony,Phoebeisabsent.]

Letitgo,Ross.

Yeah,well,youdidn'

tknowChiChi.

Doyouallpromise?

Yeah!

Wepromise!

llbegood!

（shoutstoChandler）Chandler?

Doyoupromisetobegood?

（Chandlermakesa'

Crossmyheart'

sign.Itstartstorainandhetapsonthewindow.）

Youcancomein,butyourfilter-tippedlittlebuddyhastostayoutside!

（Chandlersulkiltypicksupagarbagecanlidandusesitasanumbrella.）

（Phoebeenters,walkstothecouch,sitsdown,andbeginstoreadaletterwithoutsayinghi.）

Hey,Pheebs.

DearMs.Buffay.Thankyouforcallingattentiontoourerror.Wehavecreditedyouraccountwithfivehundreddollars.We'

resorryfortheinconvenience,andhopeyou'

llacceptthis-（Searchesinherpurse）-footballphoneasourfreegift.'

Doyoubelievethis?

NowIhaveathousanddollars,andafootballphone!

Whatbankisthis?

（Theintercombuzzes.）

Hey.It'

shim.（Ontheintercom）Whoisit?

Alan:

（ontheintercom）It'

sAlan.

（shoutingtoChandler）Chandler!

He'

shere!

（Chandlercomesin,drippingwet.）

（toall）Okay,pleasebegood,please.Justrememberhowmuchyoualllikeme.

（SheopensthedoorandAlanenters.）

Hi.Alan,thisiseverybody.Everybody,thisisAlan.

Hi.

Hi,Alan.

veheardschhomuchaboutallyouguyschh!

（Everyonelaughs.）

[Timelapse,Alanisleaving.]

（toAlan）Thanks.I'

llcallyoutomorrow.（Alanexits,toall）Okay.Okay,let'

slettheAlan-bashingbegin.Who'

sgonnatakethefirstshot,hmm?

（Silence.）

C'

mon!

...I'

llgo.Let'

sstartwiththewayhekeptpickingat-no,I'

msorry,Ican'

tdothis,can'

tdothis.Welovedhim.

Lovedhim!

sgreat!

Waitaminute!

retalkingaboutsomeonethatI'

mgoingoutwith?

Anddidyounotice...?

（Shespreadsherthumbandindexfinger.）

TheGuys:

（reluctantly）Yeah.

Knowwhatwasgreat?

Thewayhissmilewaskindacrooked.

Yes,yes!

Likethemanintheshoe!

...Whatshoe?

Fromthenurseryrhyme.'

Therewasacrookedman,Whohadacrookedsmile,Wholivedinashoe,Fora...while...'

（Dubiouspause.）

...SoIthinkAlanwillbecometheyardstickagainstwhichallfutureboyfriendswillbemeasured.

Whatfutureboyfriends?

Nono,Ith-Ithinkthiscouldbe,y'

know,it.

Really!

Oh,yeah.I'

dmarryhimjustforhisDavidHasselhofimpressionalone.YouknowI'

mgonnabedoingthatatparties,right?

（Doestheimpression）

YouknowwhatIlikemostabouthim,though?

Thewayhemakesmefeelaboutmyself.

Yeah...

CommercialBreak

CentralPerk,MonicaisaloneasRoss,Rachel,Chandler,andJoeyenterdejectedlyinsoftballgear.]

Hi..howwasthegame?

Well..

WEWON!

Thankyou!

Yes!

Fantastic!

Ihaveonequestion:

Howisthatpossible?

Alan.

Hewasunbelievable.Hewaslikethat-that-thatBugsBunnycartoonwhereBugsisplayingallthepositions,right,butinsteadofBugsitwasfirstbase-Alan,secondbase-Alan,thirdbase-...

Imean,it-itwaslike,itwaslikehemadeusintoateam.

Yep