英文幽默故事讲课讲稿Word格式文档下载.docx
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“Ofcourse,hedoesn’t.Mom,it’spartofthegameweareplaying.Heisdaddycominghomelate,andI‘myou.”
Lesson3ThebestPresent.
bestgetwet
BenandTedaregoodfriends.Theyalwaysplaytogether.
Oneday,TedseesawaterguninBen’shand,andheasks,“Whogaveyouthegun?
”
“Mygrandpa,”Bensays,“andthisisthebestpresentIhaveeverhad.”
“why?
”Tedasks.
“whenIplaywithit,Igeteverythingwet.Somymomgivesmefivedollarsfornotplayingwithit.”Benanswers.
Lesson4
Ihavehisearinmypocket.
hisbigkid
Timisanaughtyboy.Heoftenfightswithhisclassmatesatschool.Oneday,Timcomeshomewithabloodynose.Hismotherasks,“Tim,whathappened?
“Abigkidbitme.”Timanswers.
Hismotherisveryangrytohearthis.
“Wouldyourecognizehimifyousawhimagain?
”askshismother.
“I‘dknowhimanywhere.”SaysTim.“Ihavehisearinmypocket.”
Lesson5
Mydogdoesn’tbite.
whitebitenice
Mikewalksintoapetshopandseesalittlewhitedog.Heaskstheshopkeeper,“Doesyourdogbite?
Theshopkeepersays,“No,mydogdoesn’tbite.”
“Whatanicedog,”Mikesaystohimself.Thenhebendsdownandtriestotouchthedog.Thedogbiteshim.
“Ouch!
”hecries,“Yousaidyourdogdidnotbite!
Theshopkeeperreplies,“Thatisnotmydog.”
Lesson6Iwasnotlost.
dogstophot
Bobisanoldman.Heoftenwalkshisdoginthestreetafterdinnerandcomesbackhomeatseveno’clock.
Oneevening,acarstopsathishouse.ApolicemanhelpsBobgetoutofthecar.ThepolicemansaystoBob‘swife,“Thisoldmangotlostinthestreet.Heaskedmetotakehimhomeinthecar.”
Afterthepolicemanleaves,Bob’swifeasks,“Bob,yougotothatstreeteveryday.Howcouldyougetlost?
“Iwasnotlost.Itwastoohot.Ijustdidn’twanttogohomeonfoot,”Bobanswers.
Lesson7Ibrokethemall.
cokenosebroke
LittleRoseiswatchingTV.Hermotherasks,“Rose,what’sonTV?
”
“Aguyisdrinkingaglassofcokethroughhisnose.”
“Stopwatchingthatstupidthing.Pleasegototheshopandbuysomeeggsforme.”
“Okay,mom.”
“Becarefulnottochooseanybadones.”
Halfanhourlater,Rosecomesbackhomewithayellowplasticbag.Hermothertakesthebag,andlooksinside.
“Whatisit?
”sheasks.
“Eggs,ofcourse!
”Rosesay,“Ibrokethemall.Everyoneisgood.”
“Areyoujoking?
”hermotherasks.
Lesson8Amanwithagun.
busrungun
It’sasunnyday.Awomangetsoffthebusandgoesintoabutchershoptobuysomemeat.Astrangemanfollowsherintotheshop.Atthattime,somepolicemenarepassingby.Theyfindagunintheman’spocket.Themanisarobber.
“Madam,thankyouverymuch.Yourscreamsavedme,”thebutchersays,“buthowdidyouknowhewasarobber?
“Ididn’tknow,”repliesthewoman,“Iscreamedbecausethemeatwastooexpensive.”
Lesson9Justuseapencil.
cuteexcuseuse
Tomisalittleboy.Heiscute,butalsoverynaughty.
Oneevening,heeatsaballpointpen.Hismomquicklycallsthedoctor,“Excuseme,doctor,mysonateaballpointpen.Pleasecomedoctor,mysonateaballpointpen.Pleasecometomyhouseatonce.”
“I’msorry,butitistoolate.I’malreadyinbed.”Thedoctorrefusestohelp.
“ThenwhatshallIdo?
”themothersaysanxiously.
“Don’tworry,mom.Youcanjustuseapencil,”Tomsaysinpain.
Lesson10Asmartanswer
farcarsmart
Mark’sfatherhasafarm.It’sfarawayfromthecity.OnedayMarkgoestothefarmwithhisfatherbycar.
Onthefarm,Markseesmanyhens.Helooksatthehensandthequestioncomestohismind.Heaskshisfather,“Whyarethehens’legssoshort,dad?
Mark’sfathersmilesandsays,“Ifthehens’legsarelong,theywilldroptheireggsintopieces.”
“Dad,youaresosmart.Youknoweverything,”Marksays.
Lesson11I’mthedriver
oversisterdriver
Schoolisover.MysisterandIarehurryinghomefordinner.Wefightourwayontothebus.Thebusisreallycrowded.Justthen,weseeamantryingtogeton,butnoonegiveswaytohim.
“Hey,letmegetonthebus!
”themanshouts.
“It’stoocrowed.You’dbettertakethenextbus,”apassengersaystohim.
“Butyoucan’tgowithoutme.I’mthedriver!
”themananswers.
Lesson12
Abedtimestoryaboutbirds
skirtbirdthird
It’stimeforbed.Marytakesoffherskirtandputsonherpajamas.Butsheisn’tsleepyatall.Sothelittlegirlaskshermothertotellheravery,verylongstory,orsheisnotgoingtobed.Sohermotherbeginstotellherastorylikethis,“Thereisaverybigoldhouse,andthereissomericeinit.Oneday,abigbirdgoesintothehouseandcomesoutwithagrainofrice.Thenanotherbirdgoesintothehouseandcomesoutwithabrainofrice.Thenathirdbirdgoesintothehouseandcomesoutwithagrainofrice.Thenafourthbird…Thenafifthbird…”
“Stop,stop!
Iwanttosleep,”Maryshouts.
Lesson13Abadschoolreport
horsesportshort
Fordwasbornintheyearofthehorse.Heisathird-gradestudent.Helikesplayingsports,butdoesn’tlikehislessons.Hisfatherisfortyyearsoldandhasashorttemper.Oneday,fordgetshisschoolreport,anditisnotagoodone.
Fordknowswhatwillhappenifhisfatherseesthereport,buthehastoaskhisfathertosignit.Atlast,hehasagoodidea.
Intheevening,fordturnsoffthelight.Theroomisverydark.Thenhegiveshisfathertheschoolreport,andsays,“canyousignitinthedark,dad?
”Fordgetswhathewants.
Lesson14Thenurseshouldgivemesomemoney
nurseturnpurse
Oneday,Joeisill.Hismothertakeshimtothehospital.Thedoctorasksthenursetogivehimaninjection.Joecriesforalongtime.
“Dearson,don’tcry.You’llfeelbetterafterawhile.”
WhenJoeturnsaround,heseeshismothertakeoutsomemoneyfromherpurseandgiveittothenurse.Joesaysangrily,“No,shehurtme.Shemademecry.Sheshouldgivemesomemoney.
Lesson15
Adifferentroasteveryday
coatboatgoat
Jackputsonhisthickcoatandleaveshomeforhiswinterholiday.Hetakesaboattoasmallislandandwantstostaytherefortwoweeks.Butfourdayslater,heisbackhome.Hismotheraskswhy.
“Onthefirstday,agoatdied,andwehadroastmuttonfordinner,”Jacksays,“Onthesecondday,acowdied,andwehadroastbeeffordinner.Onthethirdday,apigdied,andwehadroastporkfordinner.”
“Verygood.Adifferentroasteveryday.”Hismothersays.
“Onthefourthday,afarmerdied,andwedidn’tdaretostayfordinner,”Jacksays.
Lesson16
Anoisygirlandfivehundredducks
noisynoisevoice
Somegirlsaremakingalotofnoiseinclass.Theirteachersaysinaloudvoice,“stopmakingsomuchnoise.Agirlisreallylikefivehundredducks.Youaredrivingmemad!
Agirlstudentstandsupandgoestotherestroom.Whenshecomesbacktotheclassroom,shesaystotheteacher,“onethousandducksoutsidearewaitingforyou,sir.”Theteacherisverysurprisedandgoesouttoseewhatitis.Tohissurprise,heseeshiswifeandhisdaughterstandingoutsidetheclassroom.
Lesson17Alazybrook
booklookcook
Brookisalazyboy.Oneevening,heisreadingastorybookonthesofa.Hismothersaystohim,“hereissomemoney.Goandgetsomemeat.”
“Look,I’mbusy,mom,”saysBrook.Sohismothergetsthemeat.
“Brook,hereisthemeat.Nowcookit,please.”
“ButI’mnotgoodatcooking,mom,”Brookanswers.Sohismothercooksthemeatagain.
Afterawhile,themothersaystoBrook,“Themeatisready.Comeandeat.”
“Yes,mom,”Brookjumpsupfromthesofa,andsays,“Idon’tlikesayingnoallthetime.”
Lesson18Sheisafool
bootspoolfool
TodayisMary’sfirstdayofschool.Sheputsonhernewbootsandsaysgoodbyetohermother.
Whenshecomeshomefromschoolintheafternoon,hermotherasks,“Mary,doyoulikeyournewschool?
“Yes,myschoolisverypretty.Ourclassroomisbigandclean,andwehaveaveryniceswimmingpool,”Maryanswers.
“Howaboutyourteachers?
”motherasks.“Ilikethemallexceptthemathteacher,Sheisreallyafool.Ican’tbelieveher.Firstshesaysthreeandthreeissix,andthenshesaystwoandfourissixtoo,”Marysays.
Lesson19Othermomsalsowanttobeproud
proudaboutloudly
Petergetsabadmarkinschool,andhismotherisveryangrywithhim.
“Lastyear,Iwasproudofyou,”sheshouts,“Youwerethebestpupilintheclass.”
Thelittleboyisverysorryaboutthat.Hethinksforamoment,thenhelooksathismotherwithasmileandsaysloudly,“ButothermomsalsowanttobeproudoftheirchildrenandthatwillbeimpossibleifIamalwaysthefirst!
Lesson20Followtheflies.
snowknowlow
It’ssnowing.Tomiswalkinghome,coldandhungry.Sohegoesintoarestaurant.
Hewantstogototherestroomtowashhishandsbef
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