最终用稿(7人搞笑英语版话剧剧本-三顾茅庐).doc

最终用稿(7人搞笑英语版话剧剧本-三顾茅庐).doc

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Threevisitstothecottage三顾茅庐

Aside:

Aftertheirswearingbrotherhoodtoheavenandearthinapeachgarden,the

threepersons——Liubei,GuanyuandZhangfei-hadtobejanitors（美['dʒænɪtɚ]n.看门人；守卫）inCaocao'scorporationtomakealivingfortheycouldnotfindjobs.MeanwhilethelegendaryandmysteriouscharacterZhuGeliangwhohadbeenforcedtoattendCET-6testbyhiswifewasreviewingexaminationcontents.

SCENE1:

Liubei'shome

Actors:

LiubeiGuanyuZhangfei

Guanyu:

Brother!

Wethreehavebeenhungryfordaysandwhenwillthistragiclifeend?

It'ssoterrible!

Liubei:

Yu,it'simpossiblethatIdon'tfeelpainful,isn'tit?

ButastheproverbsaysitishardtositinRomeandstriveagainstthePope.NowwecometoCaocao'scorporationasgatekeeper（看门人）,anyhowwecanfillourstomachsbetweenwhiles.It'sveryhardtogetworknow.Nodiplomasandnojoboffers,whatareyoudreamingabout?

Zhangfei:

Oh,Brother!

ZhuGeliang'swifeborrowedus500yuantocopewithhishusband’sCET-6feeslastmonth,itseemsthatit'stimeforustobedebtcollectorsnow.

Guanyu:

Yeah,Brother!

Orwe'llbeaspooraschurchmouse

Liubei:

Alas!

HowdidIforgetthis?

Let'sgo!

Go~~go~!

Hurryup!

Followmeandgotothemountainfordunning!

（收拾家伙挽袖子）

Aside:

AndthenthethreebrothersclimbthemountaintofindZhuGeliang.

SCENE2:

ZhuGeliang’shouse

Actors:

ZhuGeliangZhu’sWife

ZhuGeliang:

Goodmorning!

IamthegeniusZhuGeliang.ButIfeelsosadrecently.BecausemywifeforcedmetopasstheCET-6.What’sCET-6?

Doyouknow?

I’veneverheartaboutthat.Andsheaskedmetoreadsoheavybooksanddosomanytexts.（拿起手里的试卷给大家亮亮）It’sridiculous.Mymajorismilitaryadvice,notEnglish.WhyshouldIreadthis?

Wife:

Darling!

ZhuGeliang：

Mywifeiscoming，sheissolong-winded（啰嗦的）thatIcanneverbearher.（装作认真状）

Wife：

Mydear,howaboutyourstudy?

ZhuGeliang：

Thesebooksmakemewanttodoze[dəʊz]（打瞌睡）.I’mdizzy.

Wife：

Darling!

Now,competitionissoserious.Ifyoucan’tpasscet-6togetyourmaster’sdegree,itisdifficulttofindajob.Ihavestayedhereforhalfofalifetime.ButnevervisitabiggerplacelikeShanghai.（cry）

ZhuGeliang：

Don’tworry,thesebooksaretooeasyforyourhusbandanddon’tneedtolearn.（扔书）

Wife：

Areyousure?

letmehaveatesttoyou.Listen，readandsee!

ZhuGeliang：

Apieceofcake!

Wife：

Listen,canyouspellapple?

Desk?

ZhuGeliang:

SorryIcan’t.（不会抓耳挠腮）

Wife：

Youcan’t?

Oh,howunfortunateIam!

（crying）I'mwrong,I'mreallywrong,I'mwrongfromthebeginning.Ishouldn'tmarryhere.IfIdidn’tmarryhere,I'llneverinthisheartrendingplacenow,

诸葛亮——崩溃了（捂耳朵忙劝）

ZhuGeliang：

Don’tcry,don’tcry,stop!

老婆——（马上变脸）

I‘mgoingtostudyhardatonce.

Wife:

给书童一个手势

Keeper:

Whatisthematter?

Madam?

Wife:

Listencarefully!

Myhusbandistoobusydoinghishomeworktowelcomeanypeople,soyouwilltellthepeoplewhocallsonhimthatbosshaswenttostudyinEngland.

Aside:

Whileitisgoingon,liubeiGuanyuZhangfeihavecametothegateofZhuGeliang’shouse.

SCENE3OutsideZhuGeliang’shouse

Actors:

LiubeiGuanyuZhangfeiKeeper

Zhangfei:

Letmeknockthedoor!

Open!

Open!

!

!

（气愤敲门咚咚咚）

Keeper:

（Checkfromthepeephole）Arethesemenaskingforthedebt?

（Openthedoor）

Liubei:

Thisisliubei!

WearecallingonZhuGeliangandhiswife.

Keeper:

Zhusaidheisnotin.

Liubei:

En?

?

?

?

Keeper:

Oh!

No!

...Imean…ImeanmybossisstudyingEnglishinEnglandfortheexamofCET-6,andhemaynotbecomebackthismonth.

Liubei:

OK!

Wewillwaitforhimhere!

Guanyu:

Nobodyknowsthatwhenhewillbecomeback,so,let’sgohome!

Aside:

Thethreemenwentawaywithdisappointed.Afteramonth,thedeeplyautumncame!

Theycamehereatthesecondtime.Unfortunately,theydidn’tseeZhuGeliangaswell.Twomonthpassed,thecoldwinteriscoming!

Itisheavysnowandverycoldoutsides.ZhuGeliangknowsthereasonthatwhytheycomeherethreetimes,andordersthekeepertoletthemcomeinwhileshiswifeisout.

SCENE4:

ZhuGeliang’sHome

Actors:

ZhuGeliangwifeliubeiZhangfeiGuanyu

ZhuGeliang:

Thankgoodness,here'sLiubeiatlast.Hahaha………

Wife:

Wof!

Darling!

Hemaycomeheretoaskmetorepayhismoney.Wecan’tlethimin.

ZhuGeliang:

Mydarling,pleasedon’tworry.Icanmakeliubeigobackwithnothingbymyslivertongue

Liubei:

Mr.ZhuGeliang.Ihavehuntedyouforalongtime!

（此时刘备用枪指着诸葛亮头幻灯片放无间道）

Zhu:

Oh!

YouareLiubei.WhatcanIdoforyou?

Liu:

mybrother,youhaveborrowedme500yuan,whenyourepayitforme?

Ihavestarvedforseveraldays.（放乞丐的幻灯片）

ZhuGeliang:

Ioweyou500yuan?

whocantestify?

Pleasegivemeachance,Iwanttobeanhonestman.

Liubei:

HowcanIgiveyouachance?

Speakittothejudge.

Zhu:

Pleaselook（扇子指向幻灯片幻灯片放西农地图）,althoughhavingambition,youa