TED2013演讲稿 Meg Jay[Why 30 is not the new 20][20岁,不可挥霍的光阴]Word下载.docx
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WiththefunnystoriesthatAlexwouldbringtosession,itwaseasyformejusttonodmyheadwhilewekickedthecandowntheroad.n30'
sthenew20,"
Alexwouldsay,andasfarasIcouldtell,shewasright.Workhappenedlater,marriagehappenedlater,kidshappenedlater,evendeathhappenedlater.TwentysomethingslikeAlexandIhadnothingbuttime.Butbeforelong,mysupervisorpushedmetopushAlexaboutherlovelife.Ipushedback.Isaid,"
Sure,she'
sdatingdown,she'
ssleepingwithaknucklehead,butifsnotlikeshe'
sgonnatomanytheguy."
Andthenmysupervisorsaid,"
Notyet,butshemightmarrythenextone.Besides,thebesttimetoworkonAlex'
smarriageisbeforeshehasone."
That'
swhatpsychologistscallan"
Aha!
"
moment.ThatwasthemomentIrealized,30isnotthenew20.Yes,peoplesettledownlaterthantheyusedto,butthatdidn'
tmakeAlex'
stwentiesadevelopmentaldowntime.ThatmadeAlex'
stwentiesadevelopmentalsweetspot,andweweresittingthereblowingit.ThatwaswhenIrealizedthatthissortofbenignneglectwasarealproblem,andithadrealconsequences,notjustforAlexandherlovelife,butforthecareersandthefamiliesandthefuturesoftwentysomethingseverywhere.
Thereare50milliontwentysomethingsintheUnitedStatesrightnow.We'
retalkingabout15percentofthepopulation,or100percentifyouconsiderthatnoone'
sgettingthroughadulthoodwithoutgoingthroughtheirtwentiesfirst.
Raiseyourhandifyouareinyourtwenties.Ireallywanttoseesometwentysomethingshere.Oh,yay!
Y'
all'
sawesome.Ifyouworkwithtwentysomethings,youloveatwentysomething,you'
relosingsleepovertwentysomethings,Iwanttosee.Okay.Awesome.Twentysomethingsreallymatter.
SoIspecializeintwentysomethingsbecauseIbelievethateverysingleoneofthose50milliontwentysomethingsdeservestoknowwhatpsychologists,sociologists,neurologistsandfertilityspecialistsalreadyknow:
thatdaimingyourtwentiesisoneofthesimplest,yetmosttransformativethingsyoucandoforwork,forlove,foryourhappiness,maybeevenforflieworld.Thisisnotmyopinion.Thesearethefacts.Weknowthe80percentoflife'
smostdefiningmomentstakeplacebyage35.Thatmeansthateightoutof10ofthedecisionsandexperiencesand"
momentsthatmakeyourlifewhatitiswillhavehappenedbyyourmid-thirties.Peoplewhoareover40,don'
tpanic.Thiscrowdisgonnabefine,Ithink.Weknowthatthefirst10yearsofacareerhasanexponentialimpactonhowmuchmoneyyouaregoingtoearn.WeknowthatmorethanhalfofAmericansaremarriedorarelivingwithordatingtheirfuturepartnerby30.Weknowthatthebraincapsoffitssecondandlastgrowthspurtinyourtwenties,asitrewiresitselfforadulthood,whichmeansthatwhateveritisyouwanttochangeaboutyourself,nowisthetimetochangeit.
Weknowthatpersonalitychangesmoreduringyourtwentiesthanatanyothertimeinlife,andweknowthatfemalefertilitypeaksatage28,andthingsgettrickyafterage35.Soyourtwentiesarethetimetoeducateyourselfaboutyourbodyandyouroptions.Sowhenwethinkaboutchilddevelopment,weallknowthatthefirstfiveyearsareacriticalperiodforlanguageandattachmentinthebrain.It'
satimewhenyourordinary,day-to-daylifehasaninordinateimpactonwhoyouwillbecome.Butwhatwehearlessaboutisthatthere'
ssuchathingasadultdevelopment,andourtwentiesarethatcriticalperiodofadultdevelopment.
Butthisisn'
twhattwentysomethingsarehearing.Newspaperstalkaboutthechangingtimetableofadulthood.Researcherscallthetwentiesamextendedadolescence.Journalistscoinsillynicknamesfortwentysomethingslike"
twixters"
and"
kidults"
.It'
strue.Asaculture,wehavetrivializedwhatisactuallythedefiningdecadeofadulthood.
LeonardBernsteinsaidthattoachievegreatthings,youneedaplanandnotquiteenoughtime.Isn'
tthattrue?
Sowhatdoyouthinkhappenswhenyoupatatwentysomethingontheheadandyousay,"
Youhave10extrayearstostartyourlife?
Nothinghappens.Youhaverobbedthatpersonofhisurgencyandambition,andabsolutelynothinghappens.Andthen,everyday,smart,interestingtwentysomethingslikeyouorlikeyoursonsanddaughterscom