幽默短文.docx
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幽默短文
ThisisanepisodefromthenovelStrangeTalesfromMake-DoStrdio.AnDayeturnedouttobeout-standinglycleverwhilehewasveryyoung.Hewasalsoveryhandsome.Hisparentslovedhimverymuchandregardedhimasapreciouspearlontheirpalms.Theyhopedthattheirsonwouldbesuccessfulinhiscareerandtherebyglorifyhisancestors.NeighborsinthevillageviedeachothertomarrytheirdaughterstoAnDaye.Onenight,Daye'smotherhadadreamwhichtoldherthataprincesswouldmarryherson.So,Daye'smothergratefullydeclinedallmarriageoffers.Yetseveralyearshadpassedandtherewasstillnotthemarriagesuggestedbythedream.Daye'smotherbegantoregretdecliningallthemarriageoffersbyherneighbors.
OnedayshileDayewasreading,agracefulyoungladywalkedintohisroomaccompaniedbyseveralmaids.TheyoungladyintroducedherselfasPrincessYunluofromtheofficialresidenceofShenghou.Dayewaspleasantlysurprised.Dayeandtheprincesssatdowntoplayaboardgame.TheprincesswassogoodthatshedefeatedDayeseveralgamesinarow.Afterthegame,theprincessstoodupandpreparedtoleave.Dayewasreluctanttopartwiththeprincess.PrincessYunluogaveDaye50kilogramsofgoldandtoldhimtobuildanewhousewiththemoney.Shepromisedtocomeagainafterthehousewasbuilt.
Theprincesscameasshehadpromised.Atnight,Dayeproposedtomarrytheprincess.PrincessYunluosaid:
"I'llbewithyouforsixyearsifwegetmarried,butI'llbewithyoufor30yearsifweremainasfellowplayersoftheboardgameandfellowloversofthedup."Dayesaid:
"Wemightaswellgetmarriedinthefirstplace.Letthefuturetakecareofallothermatters."Theprincessdednotsayanything.Dayeandtheprincessgotmarriedthatnight.
Timeelapsedquickly.PrincessYunluogavebirthtotwobabyboysforDaye.Asshehadwarned,theprincessleftwithoutsayinggood-byeattheendofthesixyears.Dayemissedtheprincesstomuchthathesworenottomarryagain.
《聊斋志异》中的故事,安大业从小聪明绝顶,俊美出群。
父母爱他如掌上明珠,希望他将来能光宗耀祖,成一番大事业。
长大后,村中人争着给他说媒。
一天晚上,大业母亲突然做一梦,说大业将娶一位公主为妻,于是婉言谢绝了那些提亲的人。
但梦过几年也不公主到来,大业母亲后悔当初不该回绝别人的提亲。
一天,大业正在房内读书,只见几个婢女拥着一个窈窕少女进屋。
经问,说是圣后府上的云萝公主,大业惊喜万分。
二人坐下对弈,精通棋道的大业连败。
下完棋,公主要走,大业不舍,公主拿出一千两黄金,要大业盖新房,等新房盖好扣相会。
公主如约赶到,当晚大业向公主求婚,公主说:
“如我俩结为夫妻,我们只能在一起生活六年,我俩如果作为棋友、酒友,可生活三十年。
”大业说:
“我俩还是先结婚吧,以后的事再说。
”公主默默不语,当夜成婚,一晃六年过去,公主为大业生了两个男孩,公主按原先约定的时间不辞而别,大业日夜想念公主,誓不再娶。
InancienttimestherewasascholarcalledZhuYaozongwhocamefirstinthehighestimperialexamination.ConferredthetitleNumberOneScholar,hewaschosentobetheemperor'sson-in-law.Byconvention,hewouldfirstreturntohishometowninsilkenofficialrobes.Beforehelefthebeggedtheemperorforafavor--toerectachastityarchwayinhonorofhiswidowedmother.Hisrequestwasgranted.
Hismother,however,appeareduneasywhenshewastoldaboutthechastityarchway.Shehadtoadmitthatshewasdeterminedtoremarryandherwould-behusbandwasZhu'sformertutortowhomheowedagreatdeal.DevastatedbytheideaZhufelltohiskneesinfrontofhismother:
“Mom.That'sabsolutelyimpossible.HowcouldIfaceothersifyoudoso.Besides,itwillmeanIhavedeceivedtheemperor--afelonydeservingdeathpenalty.”
Ashewascaughtinafixandnothingcouldbedone,hismothersighed:
“Sincethingshavecometoahead,let'strusttoluck.”Shethentookoffaskirtandhandedittohim,saying:
“Washittomorrowanddryitinthesunforaday.Ifitdriesupbydawnthenextmorning,I'lldroptheidea;ifnot,youarenottointerfere,forit'sthewillofHeaven.”
Thatdaywasveryfinewiththesunshiningbrightlyinaclearsky.Butduringthenightcloudsgatheredandtheskybecameovercast.Itbrokeintoaviolentshowertowardsdaybreak.Theskirtremainedwetlongafterdawn.Hismothersaidtohimseriously:
“Lookhere,son.ItrainswhenHeavendeemsfit,motherremarrieswhenshewantsto.ThewillofHeavenisnottobeopposed.”SoZhucoulddonothingbutreporttotheemperorandexpresshisreadinesstobepunished.Theemperorwasgreatlysurprisedbythestoryandissuedanimperialdecree:
“Hewhoisunawareisnotliable.SincethematchhasbeenmadebyHeaven,ithastobeallowed.”
传说古时候有个名叫朱耀宗的书生,进京赶考高中状元。
皇上殿试将他招为驸马。
按惯例,朱耀宗一身锦绣新贵还乡。
临行前,朱耀宗请求皇上为多年守寡一直不嫁的母亲竖立贞节牌坊。
皇上准允所奏。
当朱耀宗向娘述说了竖立贞节牌坊一事后,朱母露出了不安的神色,于是说出了想要嫁给朱耀宗的恩师张文举的想法。
朱耀宗顿时跪在娘的面前:
“娘,这千万使不得。
您改嫁叫儿的脸往哪搁?
再说,欺君之罪难免杀身之祸啊。
”
正值左右为难、无可奈何之际,朱母不由长叹一声:
“听天由命吧。
”她随手脱下身上一件罗裙,告诉朱耀宗说:
“明天你替我把裙子洗干净,一天一夜晒干。
如果裙子晒干,我答应不改嫁;如果裙子不干,天意如此,你也不用再阻拦了。
”
这一天,晴空朗日,谁知当夜阴云密布,天明下起暴雨,裙子始终是湿漉漉的。
朱耀宗心中叫苦不迭,知是天意。
朱母则认认真真地对儿子说:
“孩子,天要下雨,娘要嫁人,天意不可违!
”朱耀宗只得将母亲和恩师的婚事报告皇上,请皇上治罪。
皇上连连称奇,降道御旨:
“不知者不怪罪,天作之合,由他去吧。
”
他是个哑巴,虽然能听懂别人的话,却说不出自己的感受,她是他的邻居,一个和外婆相依为命的女孩,她一直喊他哥哥。
Heisamute,Althoughcanunderstandothersspeech,Cannotsayownactuallyfeeling,Sheis
hisneighbor,Thegirlwhoisboundbyacommondestinywiththegrandmother.
他真象个哥哥,带她上学,伴她玩耍,含笑听她唧唧喳喳讲话。
Hereallylookslikeanelderbrother,Leadshertogotoschool,Accompanieshertoplay,Listenstoherchirpwithasmilegraspsthespeech.
他只用手势和她交谈,可能她能读懂他的每一个眼神。
从哥哥注视她的目光里,她知道他有多么喜欢自己。
Heonlyusesthehandsignalandsheconverses,Possibleshetobeabletoreadhiseachlook.Gazesatinhervisionfromelderbrother,Sheknewhehaslikesoneself.
后来,她终于考上了大学,非常开心,他便开始拼命挣钱,然后源源不断地寄给她。
她从来没有拒绝。
Afterwards,Shefinallytestswenttocollege,Extremelyhappy,Hethenstartstogoallouttomakemoney,Thensendscontinuouslyforher.Shehasnotrejected.
终于,她毕业了,参加了工作。
然后,她坚定地对他说:
“哥哥,我要嫁给你!
”他象只受惊的兔子逃掉了,再也不肯见她,无论她怎样哀求。
Finally,Shehasgraduated,Startedthework.Then,shesaidfirmlytohimthat,“Elderbrother,Imustmarrytoyou!
”Helookedlikeonlythefrightenedrabbittoescape,againisnotwillingtoseeher,howregardlessofshedoesentreat.
她这样说:
“你以为我同情你吗?
想报答你吗?
不是,我12岁我就爱上你了。
”可是,她得不到他的回答。
Doyouthinkipityyou?
Doyouthinkiappreciateyou?
no,i'vefalleninlovewithyousinceiwas12。
But,Shecannotobtainhisreply.
有一天,她突然住进了医院。
他吓坏了,跑去看他。
医生说,她喉咙里长了一个瘤,虽然切除了,却破坏了声带,可能再也讲不了话了。
病床上,她泪眼婆娑的注视着他,于是,他们结婚了。
Oneday,Shehasbeenadmittedtothehospitalsuddenly.Hehasscared,Runslooksathim.Doctorsaid,Inherthroatsteadilyalump,Althoughhasexcised,Destroyedthevocalcordactually,Possiblyagainalsocouldnotdeliverthespeech.Onhospitalbed,Hertearfuleyesdancegazehe,Thereforetheymarried.
很多年,没有人听他们讲过一句话。
他们用手,用笔,用眼神交谈,分享喜悦和悲伤。
他们成了相恋男女羡慕的对象。
人们说,那一对多么幸福的哑巴夫妻啊!
Verymanyyears,Nobodylistenstothemtodeliveraspeech.Theyusethehand,Withpen,Converseswiththelook,Sharesisjoyfulandissad.Theybecamehavelovedtheobjectwhichthemenandwomenenvied.Thepeoplesaid,Thatpairofhowhappymutehusbandsandwives!
爱情阻挡不了死神的降临,他撇下她一个人先走了。
Lovecouldnotpreventgodofdeatharrival,Heabandonedhertowalkfirst.
人们怕她经受不住失去爱侣的打击来安慰她,这时,她收回注视他遗像的呆痴目光,突然开口说:
“他还是走了。
Thepeoplefearedshecannotundergoloseslover'sattacktocomforther。
Bynow,Shetakesbackgazesathisportraitafter-imagethedullcrazyvision,Opensthemouthtosaysuddenlythat,“Hewalked.”
谎言已揭穿了…………Therumorhasrevealed............
ZhugeLiangPaysaMourningCall
三国故事之诸葛亮吊孝
ThisisastoryfromThreeKingdoms.ZhouYu,chiefcommanderofWu,Wastalentedandproficientinstrategiesandtacticsbutwasnarrow-mindedandintolerantofothers.HediscussedwithZhugeLiangplanstoconquerCaoCaowhilesimultaneouslyponderinghowtomurderZhugeLiang.ZhouYuhadbeenwoundedbyapoisonousarrowwhenhewasattackingNanjun.Zhou'swoundburstwhenhelearnedthatZhugeLianghadalreadytakenoverNanjun,JingzhouandXiangyang.ZhouYu,withahealingwound,rackedhisbrainsforwaystocaptureJingzhou.Hisstrategies,however,wereallseenthroughbyZhugeLiangwhoevensenthimamockingmessage.ZhouYuwasvexedagain."SinceYou(theHeaven)mademe,ZhouYu,whydidYoumakeZhugeLiangtoo?
"ZhouYugrudginglyaskedbeforehetookhislastbreath.
LearningofZhouYu'sdemise,ZhugeLiangdecidedtogotopayrespects.FearingthatZhugeLiangmightbemurdered,LiuBeisendZhaoYunwith500warriorstoprotecthim.BeforeZhouYu'scoffin,ZhugeLiangpersonallyofferedlibation,kneeledontheground,andreadhiseulogy.TearsofgriefgushedforthfromZhugeLiang.AllthegeneralsfromWuweremoved.WhenLuSusawZhugeLiangwasinsuchgrievance,hesaidtohimself,"ZhouLiangwasnarrow-mindedandhebroughtonhisowndeath."
东吴大都督周瑜,精通兵法,才智超群,只是肚量狭小,不能容人。
他和诸葛亮共商破曹大计,可又想加害诸葛亮。
周瑜攻打南郡时,曾身中毒箭。
当诸葛亮趁乱用计先取南郡、荆州、襄阳后,周瑜一气之下箭伤复发。
病中的周瑜仍想智取荆州,均被诸葛亮识破。
周瑜一气再气,在"既生瑜,何生亮"的怨恨声中死去。
诸葛亮得知周瑜的死讯,决定前去吊唁。
刘备怕诸葛亮被害,派赵云带五百军士保护。
在周瑜柩前,诸葛亮亲自奠酒,跪在地上读祭文,泪如泉涌,悲痛不已,众将均被感动。
鲁萧见诸葛亮如此悲痛,自言自语地说:
"周瑜肚量狭小,自取灭亡。
"
TheMissedBlessings错过的祝福
由xu_bin于周日,2009-03-1513:
33发布
Ayoungmanwasgettingreadytograduatefromcollege.Formanymonthshehadadmiredabeautifulsportscarinadealer'sshowroom,andknowinghisfathercouldwellaffordit,hetoldhimthatwasallhewanted.
从前,有位年轻人即将大学生毕业。
数月来,他一直渴望得到某汽车商产品陈列室中的一辆跑车。
他知道,他那富有的父亲肯定买得起这辆车,于是,他便跟父亲说他很想得到那辆漂亮的跑车。
AsGraduationDayapproached,theyoungmanawaitedsignsthathisfatherhadpurchasedthecar.Finally,onthemorningofhisgraduation,hisfathercalledhimintohisprivatestudy.Hisfathertoldhimhowproudhewastohavesuchafineson,andtoldhimhowmuchhelovedhim.Hehandedhissonabeautifulwrappedgiftbox.Curious,butsomewhatdisappointed,theyoungmanopenedtheboxandfoundalovely,leather-boundBible,withtheyoungman'snameembossedingold.Angrily,heraisedhisvoicetohisfatherandsaid,"WithallyourmoneyyougivemeaBible?
"Hethenstormedoutofthehouse,leavingtheBible.
在毕业典礼即将来临的日子里,年轻人等待着父亲买下跑车的消息。
终于,在毕业典礼那天上午,父亲将他叫到自己的书房,并告诉他,有他这么出色的儿子自己感到非常自豪而且非常爱他这个儿子。
接着,父亲递给儿子一个包装精美的礼品盒。
年轻人感到好奇,但带着些许失望地