TED英语演讲一个人有朋友就不算失败.docx

1、TED英语演讲一个人有朋友就不算失败TED英语演讲：一个人有朋友就不算失败 在头号玩家中其中一个反派即将失败的时候，说了一句这样的话：一个人有朋友就不算失败A man with a friend is not failed.在中国也有一句俗语多个朋友多条路你认识了更多层面的人，他们带给你的不仅仅是更广的视野，也会使你的人生增加更多的可能性。不要把自己封闭起来，尝试走出去，把自己的人际圈经营得更加丰富多彩，这样可能给你带来意想不到的灵感和收获。 A man with a friend is not failed! 演说者：Tanya Menon 演讲稿 I started teaching MB

2、A students 17 yearsago. Sometimes I run into my students years later. And when I run into them, afunny thing happens. I dont remember just their faces; I also remember whereexactly in the classroom they were sitting. And I remember who they weresitting with as well. This is not because I have any sp

3、ecial superpowers of memory. The reason I can remember them is because they are creatures of are sitting with their favorite people in their favorite seats. They findtheir twins, they stay with them for the whole year. 我教企业管理硕士学生有十七年的时间。有时，我会在几年后巧遇我的学生。当我巧遇他们时，会发生一件有趣的事。我不只记得他们的脸，我还记得他们在教室中是坐在哪个位置，以

4、及和谁坐在一起。我能记住这些，不是因为我有记忆超能力。是因为他们是习惯性的生物。他们会和最喜欢的人一起坐，坐在他们最喜欢的座位，找和自己极相似的人，一整年都和这些人待在一起。 Now, the danger of this for my students istheyre at risk of leaving the university with just a few people who areexactly like them. Theyre going to squander their chance for an international,perse network. How co

5、uld this happen to them? My students are open- e to business school precisely so that they can get great networks. 这情况对我的学生的危险之处在于他们担当的风险是只和极少数与自身非常相像的人一起离开大学，他们将会浪费掉国际性、多元化#络的机会。他们怎么会发生这种事?我的学生是心胸开放的。他们来到商学院为的正是能取得很好的#络。 Now, all of us socially narrow in ourlives, in our school, in work, and so I w

6、ant you to think about this one. Howmany of you here brought a friend along for this talk? I want you to look atyour friend a little bit. Are they of the same nationality as you? Are they ofthe same gender as you? Are they of the same race? Really look at them t they kind of look like you as well? 我

7、们所有人在生活上、在学校、在工作中的社交都是狭窄的，所以，我希望你们能想想这一点。在座有多少人，带了朋友一起来听这场演讲?我希望你们能看一下你们的朋友。他们的国籍和你相同吗?他们的性别和你相同吗?他们的种族相同吗?真正去近看他们。他们是不是看起来也和你很像? The muscle people are together, and thepeople with the same hairstyles and the checked shirts. 肌肉发达的人在一起，还有发型相同的人，都穿格子上衣的人。 We all do this in life. We all do it inlife, a

8、nd in fact, theres nothing wrong with this. It makes us fortable tobe around people who are similar. The problem is when were on a precipice,right? When were in trouble, when we need new ideas, when we need new jobs,when we need new resources - this is when we really pay a price for living ina cliqu

9、e. 我们在人生中都会这么做。我们在人生中都会这么做，事实上，这并没有什么不好。和相似的人在一起让我们感到舒服。当我们在危急处境中时才会有问题，对吗?当我们有麻烦时，需要新点子时，需要新工作时，需要新资源时这时，身在小团体中，就会要付出代价。 Mark Granovetter, the sociologist, had afamous paper The Strength of Weak Ties, and what he did in thispaper is he asked people how they got their jobs. And what he learned was t

10、hatmost people dont get their jobs through their strong ties - their father,their mother, their significant other. They instead get jobs through weak ties,people who they just met. 社会学家马克格兰诺维特有一篇著名的论文，叫弱连结的力量，他在这篇论文中做的是去问人们他们如何得到他们的工作。他发现大部分的人不是从他们的强连结父亲、母亲、另一半得到工作，而是从弱连结刚认识的人得到工作。 So if you think a

11、bout what the problem is with yourstrong ties, think about your significant other, for example. The network isredundant. Everybody that they know, you know. Or I hope you know them. Right?Your weak ties - people you just met today - they are your ticket to a wholenew social world. 所以，如果你要思考强连结的问题在哪，

12、想想比如你的另一半。这#络是多余的。他们认识的人，你也都认识。我希望你认识他们，对吧?你的弱连结你今天才认识的人他们是让你通往全新社交世界的门票。 The thing is that we have this amazingticket to travel our social worlds, but we dont use it very well. Sometimes westay awfully close to home. And today, what I want to talk about is: What arethose habits that keep human bein

13、gs so close to home, and how can we be alittle bit more intentional about traveling our social universe? 问题是，我们有这张很棒的门票，可以遨游我们的社交世界，但我们没有好好用它。有时，我们待在离家非常近的地方。今天，我想要谈的是这个：是什么习惯让人类持续待在离家近的地方，以及我们要如何更刻意一点去游遍我们的社交宇宙? So lets look at the first strategy. Thefirst strategy is to use a more imperfect social

14、 search engine. What I mean bya social search engine is how you are finding and filtering your friends. Andso people always tell me, I want to get lucky through the network. I wantto get a new job. I want to get a great opportunity. 让我们先来谈第一条策略。第一条策略是要用更多不完美的社交搜索引擎。我所谓的社交搜索引擎是你如何找到和筛选你的朋友。人们总是告诉我：我想

15、要透过#络来走运。我想要找份新工作。我想要有很好的机会。 And I say,Well, thats really hard, because your networks are so fundamentallypredictable. Map out your habitual daily footpath, and what youllprobably discover is that you start at home, you go to your school or yourworkplace, you maybe go up the same staircase or elevat

16、or, you go to thebathroom - the same bathroom - and the same stall in that bathroom, you endup in the gym, then you e right back home. 我说：嗯，那真的很难，因为你的#络基本上是非常可预测的。画出你习惯的日常路径，你很可能会发现，你从家里开始，你去上学或上班，你可能会从同样的楼梯或电梯上楼，你去厕所，同一间厕所，用那厕所的同一隔间，你最后到了健身房，然后你就回家了。 Its like stops on a trains chedule. Its that pre

17、dictable. Its efficient, but the problem is, youreseeing exactly the same people. Make your network slightly more inefficient. Goto a bathroom on a different floor. You encounter a whole new network ofpeople. 就像火车靠站时刻表一样。就是那么可预测。它很有效率，但问题是，你遇见的人都一样。让你的#络稍微不要那么有效率。去不同楼层的厕所。你会遇到一个全新的人脉#络。 The other si

18、de of it is how we are actuallyfiltering. And we do this automatically. The minute we meet someone, we arelooking at them, we meet them, we are initially seeing, Youreinteresting. Youre not interesting. Youre do this automatically. We cant even help it. And what I want to encourageyou to do instead

19、is to fight your filters. I want you to take a look aroundthis room, and I want you to identify the least interesting person that yousee, and I want you to connect with them over the next coffee break. And I wantyou to go even further than that. What I want you to do is find the mostirritating perso

20、n you see as well and connect with them. 它的另一面，是我们实际上做筛选的方式。我们会自动筛选。在我们见到一个人时，我们会看他们，见到他们，我们一开始就会看到：你很有趣。你不有趣。你很重要。我们会自动做这件事。我们无法控制。我想要鼓励各位做的是，对抗你的筛选器。我希望你们能环视一下这间房间，我希望你们找出你所看见最无趣的人，我希望你们能在下次休息时间去和他们做连结。我希望你们还能做更多。我也希望你们能去找到你们所看见最恼人的人，去与他们做连结。 What you are doing with this exercise isyou are forcing

21、 yourself to see what you dont want to see, to connect with whoyou dont want to connect with, to widen your social world. To truly widen,what we have to do is, weve got to fight our sense of choice. Weve got tofight our choices. And my students hate this, but you know what I do? 做这项练习的目的是要强迫你自己去看见你不

22、想看见的，去和你不想连结的人连结，去拓宽你的社交世界。要真正拓宽，我们得要做的是，我们得要对抗我们对选择的感受。我们得要对抗我们的选择。我的学生很讨厌这样，但猜猜我怎么做? I wontlet them sit in their favorite seats. I move them around from seat to seat. Iforce them to work with different people so there are more accidental bumps inthe network where people get a chance to connect wit

23、h each other. And westudied exactly this kind of an intervention at Harvard University. 我不让他们坐在他们最爱的位子。我让他们一直换位子坐。我强迫他们去和不同的人合作，在#络中就会有更意外的颠簸起伏，让人们有机会可以彼此连结。我们在哈佛大学就是在研究这种干预方法。 At Harvard,when you look at the rooming groups, theres freshman rooming groups, peopleare not choosing those roommates. The

24、yre of all different races, all differentethnicities. Maybe people are initially unfortable with those roommates, butthe amazing thing is, at the end of a year with those students, theyre able toovere that initial disfort. Theyre able to find deep-level monalitieswith people. 在哈佛，如果去看住宿的团体，会有新鲜人住宿团体

25、，人们不选择室友。他们都是不同的种族、不同的人种。许多人一开始对自己的室友感到不舒服，但，让人惊奇的是，在年末，那些学生能够克服一开始的不舒服。他们能在人身上找到更深层的共同性。 So the takeaway here is not just takesomeone out to coffee. Its a little more subtle. Its go to thecoffee room. When researchers talk about social hubs, what makes a socialhub so special is you cant choose; you

26、 cant predict who youre going to meetin that place. And so with these social hubs, the paradox is, interestinglyenough, to get randomness, it requires, actually, some planning. 这里要给各位的讯息不只是找人出去喝杯咖啡。还要更微妙一点。是去咖啡厅。当研究者谈论社交中心时，社交中心之所以特别，就是因为你无法选择;你无法预测你在那个地方会遇见谁。关于这些社交中心，有趣的是一个矛盾：若要有随机性，需要的其实是规划。 In on

27、e university that I worked at, there was a mail room on every single floor. Whatthat meant is that the only people who would bump into each other are those whoare actually on that floor and who are bumping into each other anyway. At another university I worked at, there was only one mail room, so al

28、l the faculty from all over that building would run into each other in that social simple change in planning, a huge difference in the traffic of people and theaccidental bumps in the network. 在我工作的其中一间大学，在每层楼都有一间收发室。那就意味着，会巧遇到的人都只有在同一层楼的人，而他们本来就会遇见彼此。在我工作的另一间大学，只有一间收发室，所以整栋大楼所有的教职员就会在那社交中心巧遇彼此。在规划上

29、做个简单的改变，就能对人的交流及#络中的意外巧遇造成很大的不同。 Heres my question for you: What are youdoing that breaks you from your social habits? Where do you find yourself inplaces where you get injections of unpredictable persity? And my studentsgive me some wonderful examples. They tell me when theyre doing pickupbasketbal

30、l games, or my favorite example is when they go to a dog park. Theytell me its even better than online dating when theyre there. 我想要问各位的问题是：你能做什么，来让你脱离你的社交习惯?你在什么地方能够被注入无法预测的多样性?我的学生给了我一些很棒的例子。他们告诉我：在比赛篮球时，和我最爱的例子去公园遛狗时。他们告诉我，在那里甚至比在线约会还要更好。 So the real thing that I want you to thinkabout is weve go

31、t to fight our filters. Weve got to make ourselves a littlemore inefficient, and by doing so, we are creating a more imprecise socialsearch engine. And youre creating that randomness, that luck that is going tocause you to widen your travels, through your social universe. 我真正希望各位去思考，我们得要对抗我们的筛选器。我们得

32、要让自己不那么有效率，这么做时，我们就是在创造一个不那么精准的社交搜索引擎。你是在创造随机性，它就是运气，能拓展你在社交宇宙中所旅行的范围。 But in fact, theres more to it than we actually buy ourselves a second-class ticket to travel our socialuniverse. We are not courageous when we reach out to people. Let me give you anexample of that. A few years ago, I had a very eventful year. That year, Imanaged to lose a job, I managed to get a dream job overseas and accept it, Ihad a baby the next month, I got very sick, I was unable to take the dream job. 但，事实上，不只是如此。有时，我们真的会买到二等舱的票，在我们的社交宇宙中旅行。当我们