Friends剧本13.docx

1、Friends剧本13The One With the ThumbWritten by: Jeffrey Astrof & Mike Sikowitz. Transcribed by: guineapigScene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there. Phoebe: (entering) Hi guys! All: Hey, Pheebs! Hi! Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, howd it go? Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said We sh

2、ould do this again! All: Ohh. Ouch. Rachel: What? He said we should do it again, thats good, right? Monica: Uh, no. Loosely translated We should do this again means You will never see me naked. Rachel: Since when? Joey: Since always. Its like dating language. Yknow, like Its not you means It is you.

3、 Chandler: Or Youre such a nice guy means Im gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you. Phoebe: Or, or, yknow, um, I think we should see other people means Ha, ha, I already am. Rachel: And everybody knows this? Joey: Yeah. Cushions the blow. Chandler: Yeah, its li

4、ke when youre a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm. Ross: Thats funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm. Monica: Uh, Ross. Ross: What? Wh- hello? The Millners farm in Connecticut? The

5、Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- .Oh my God, Chi Chi! Opening Credits Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Chandler is helping Joey rehearse for a part.Chandler: So how does it feel knowing youre about to die? Joey: Warden, in f

6、ive minutes my pain will be over. But youll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die. Chandler: Hey, that was really good! Joey: Thanks! Lets keep going. Chandler: Okay. So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh? Joey: I just wanna go back to my cell. Cause in my cell, I can sm

7、oke. Chandler: Smoke away. (Joey takes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He fumbles and drops the lighter. Then he lights a cigarett, takes a drag, and coughs.)Chandler: I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone. Joey: What? Chandler: Relax your hand! (Joey lets his wrist go

8、 limp.) Chandler: Not so much! Joey: Whoah! Chandler: Hey! Joey: Hey! Chandler: Alright, now try taking a puff. (Joey tries and visibly winces.) Chandler: Alright. okay. No. Give it to me. Joey: No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette. Chandler: Its fine, its fine. Look, do you wanna get this part

9、, or not? Here. (Joey reluctantly gives him the cigarette.) Chandler: Dont think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing thats been missing from your hand. When youre holding it, you feel right. You feel complete. Joey: Ymiss it? Chandler: Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puf

10、f.) Oh. my. God. (He continues to smoke.) Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there. Monica: No, no, no. They say its the same as the distance from the tip of a guys thumb to the tip of his index finger. (The guys stretch out their fingers.) Joey: Thats ridiculous! Ross: Can I

11、use. either thumb? Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, dont tell me, dont tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey. Coffee black. Late. And an iced tea. Im getting pretty good at this! All: Yeah. Yeah, excellent. Rachel: (leaving to serve others) Good for me! (The gang s

12、waps all the drinks for what they ordered as Phoebe enters. She sits down without saying hi.)Joey: Yokay, Phoebe? Phoebe: Yeah- no- Im just- its, I havent worked- Its my bank. Monica: What did they do to you? Phoebe: Its nothing, its just- Okay. Im going through my mail, and I open up their monthly,

13、 you know, STATEMENT- Ross: Easy. Phoebe: - and theres five hundred extra dollars in my account. Chandler: Oh, Satans minions at work again. Phoebe: Yes, cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them. Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it! Phoebe: Its not mine, I didnt earn it, if I kept

14、 it, it would be like stealing. Rachel: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping! Phoebe: Okay. Okay, lets say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what Id hear, with every step I took? Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine. And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- Not-not-

15、mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine. Monica: Were with you. We got it. (Chandler leans over the back of the couch out of sight.) Phoebe: Okay. Id- just- Id never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmic debt. Rachel: Chandler, what are you doing? Monica: (puling him up) Hey

16、. Whaddya doing? (Chandler tries to shrug nonchalantly but eventually he has to exhale a mouthful of smoke.)All: Oh! Oh, God! Ross: What is this?! Chandler: Im smoking. Im smoking, Im smoking. Phoebe: Oh, I cant believe you! Youve been so good, for three years! Chandler: And this- is my reward! Ross

17、: Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit. Chandler: Okay, so this time I wont quit! All: Ohhh! Put it out! Chandler: All right! Im putting it out, Im putting it out. (He drops it in Phoebes coffee.) Phoebe: Oh, no! I- I cant drink this now! Monica: A

18、lright. Im gonna go change, Ive got a date. Rachel: This Alan again? Hows it goin? Monica: Sgoing pretty good, yknow? Its nice, and, were having fun. Joey: So when do we get to meet the guy? Monica: Lets see, todays Monday. Never. All: Oh, come on! Come on! Monica: No. Not after what happened with S

19、teve. Chandler: What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!. Sorry. Monica: Look, I dont even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out. Rachel: Well, then can we meet him? Monica: Nope. Schhorry. Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are at work.Moni

20、ca: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes theyre all over him. I mean, theyre like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd. Paula: Listen. As someone whos seen more than her fair share of bad beef, Ill tell you: that is not such a terr

21、ible thing. I mean, theyre your friends, theyre just looking out after you. Monica: I know. I just wish that once, Id bring a guy home that they actually liked. Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy. Scene: Monica and Rachels, C

22、handler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.Joey: Let it go, Ross. Ross: Yeah, well, you didnt know Chi Chi. Monica: Do you all promise? All: Yeah! We promise! Well be good! Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good? (Chandler makes a Cross my heart sign. It starts

23、 to rain and he taps on the window.)Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside! (Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.)(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)Ross: Hey, Pheeb

24、s. Phoebe: Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. Were sorry for the inconvenience, and hope youll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift. Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dolla

25、rs, and a football phone! Rachel: What bank is this? (The intercom buzzes.) Monica: Hey. Its him. (On the intercom) Who is it? Alan: (on the intercom) Its Alan. Joey: (shouting to Chandler) Chandler! Hes here! (Chandler comes in, dripping wet.) Monica: (to all) Okay, please be good, please. Just rem

26、ember how much you all like me. (She opens the door and Alan enters.) Monica: Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan. Alan: Hi. All: Hi, Alan. Alan: Ive heard schho much about all you guyschh! (Everyone laughs.)Time lapse, Alan is leaving.Monica: (to Alan) Thanks. Ill call you tomorrow

27、. (Alan exits, to all) Okay. Okay, lets let the Alan-bashing begin. Whos gonna take the first shot, hmm? (Silence.) Monica: Cmon! Ross: .Ill go. Lets start with the way he kept picking at- no, Im sorry, I cant do this, cant do this. We loved him. All: Loved him! Yeah! Hes great! Monica: Wait a minut

28、e! Were talking about someone that Im going out with? All: Yeah! Rachel: And did you notice.? (She spreads her thumb and index finger.) The Guys: (reluctantly) Yeah. Joey: Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked. Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe! Ross: .What shoe? Phoebe:

29、From the nursery rhyme. There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a. while. (Dubious pause.) Ross: .So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured. Rachel: What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be, ykno

30、w, it. Monica: Really! Chandler: Oh, yeah. Id marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know Im gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression) Ross: You know what I like most about him, though? All: What? Ross: The way he makes me feel about myself. All: Yeah. Commer

31、cial Break Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter dejectedly in softball gear. Monica: Hi. how was the game? Ross: Well. All: WE WON! Thank you! Yes! Monica: Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible? Joey: Alan. Ross: He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-. Rachel: I mean, it-it was li