Friends老友记第一季第18集All The Poker.docx

1、Friends老友记第一季第18集 All The PokerThe One With All The PokerWritten by: Jeffrey Astrof and Mike Sikowitz. .Transcribed by: Dan Silverstein. Special thanks to Nancy Brown, who pointed out that crudites is not French. :) (The whole gang is helping Rachel mail out resumes while whistling the theme from Th

2、e Bridge on the River Kwai.)Ross: Uh, Rach, were running low on resumes over here.Monica: Do you really want a job with Popular Mechanics?Chandler: Well, if youre gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.Rachel: Hey, look, you guys, Im going for anything here, OK? I cannot be a waitr

3、ess anymore, I mean it. Im sick of the lousy tips, Im sick of being called Excuse me.Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?Rachel: Uh. yeah, why?Ross: Uh, nothing, Im sure theyll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.Rachel: (upset) Oh my Goood! Oh, do you think its on all of them?Joey: Oh

4、no, Im sure the Xerox machine caught a few.Opening CreditsScene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.Monica: Hey, guys.Chandler and Ross: Hey.Rachel: Hey. hi, ladies. uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the ma

5、il?Monica: Lots of responses.Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.Phoebe: (reading): Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however. oh. (crumples up letter)Rachel: (out loud): We have apple cinnamon.Monica: (reading): OK. Dear Ms.

6、 Green. yeah. yeah. yeah. No. (crumpes up letter)Phoebe: Wow!Rachel: What?Phoebe: (reading): Your Visa bill is huge!Rachel: (grabs the bill) Give me that!(Camera cuts to Chandler and Ross at table.)Chandler: You know, I cant believe you. Linda is so great! Why wont you go out with her again?Ross: I

7、dont know.Chandler: Is this still about her whole The Flintstones couldve really happened thing?Ross: No, its not just that. Its justI want someone who. who does something for me, yknow? Who gets my heart pounding, who. who makes me, uh. (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)Chandler: .little playthin

8、gs with yarn?Ross: What?Chandler: Could you want her more?Ross: Who?Chandler: (sarcastically) Dee, the sarcastic sister from Whats Happening.Ross: Look, I am totally, totally over her, OK, I just. (Rachel comes over, Ross lays head on table): Hiiii!Rachel: Hi! How are you?Ross: Were fine, were fine.

9、Rachel: OK. (walks away) (Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)Joey: Shut up!Chandler: Were notwere not saying anything.Phoebe: What?Ross: Uhhhh. Joey cried last night.Joey: Thank you.Chandler: (to the girls) We

10、were playing poker, alright.Joey: There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright?Ross: Oh, guys, you shouldve seen him. Read em and weep.Chandler: And then he did.Rachel: Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?Phoebe: Yeah, what is that? Like, some kind of g

11、uy thing? Like, some kind of sexist guy thing? Like its poker, so only guys can play?Ross: No, women are welcome to play.Phoebe: Oh, OK, so then what is it? Some kind of. you know, like, like. some kind of, yknow, like. alright, what is it?Chandler: There just dont happen to be any women in our game

12、s.Joey: Yeah, we just dont happen to know any women that know how to play poker.Girls: Oh, yeah, right.Monica: Oh, please, that is such a lame excuse!Rachel: Really.Monica: I mean, thats a typical guy response.Ross: Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?Girls: No.Rachel: But you could teach us.G

13、uys: No.Scene: Monica and Rachels, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.Chandler: (teaching) OK, so now we draw cards.Monica: So I wouldnt need any, right? Cause I have a straight.Rachel: Oh, good for you!Phoebe: Congratulations!(Microwave timer goes off. Monica gets up.)Chandler: OK Ph

14、oebs, how many do you want?Phoebe: OK, I just need two. the, um, ten of spades and the six of clubs.Ross: No. No, uh, Phoebs? You cantyou cant do.Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)Ross: No, no. Uh. no, see, uh, you-you cant do that.Rachel: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, th

15、ats OK, I dont need them. Im going for fours.Ross: Oh, youre. (gives up)(Monica comes back to the table with plates of food.)Monica: Alright, here we go. Weve got salmon roulettes and assorted crudites.Phoebe and Rachel: OOooooo!Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, whatre you doin? This is a poker game.

16、You cant serve food with more than one syllable. Its gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz.(look of realization)Chandler: (changing subject) OK, so at this point, the dealer.Monica: Alright, you know, we got it, we got it. Lets play for real. High stakes. big bucks.Ross: Alright, now, you sure? Phoe

17、be just threw away two jacks because they didnt look happy.Phoebe: But. Im ready, so, just deal.Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey. three. eight. Eight. three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.(Time lapse.)Monica: (throws down her

18、cards) Dammit, dammit, dammit!Phoebe: (to Joey): Oh I see, so then, you were lying.Joey: About what?Phoebe: About how good your cards were.Joey: Heh. I was bluffing.Phoebe: A-ha! And. what is bluffing? Is it not another word for. lying?Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but Ive got resumes to

19、 fax before work tomorrow. (gets up to leave)Guys: Whoa, whoa, whoa!Chandler: Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.Rachel: Settle what?Chandler: The. Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land, so.Ross: The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game.Rachel: Oh. Right.

20、Joey: You know what, you guys? Its their first time, why dont we just forget about the money, alright?Monica: Hell no, well pay!Phoebe: OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready.Monica: And you know what? We want a rematch.Ross: Well thats fine with me. Could use the money.Rachel: (to Ross): So bas

21、ically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.Ross: (pause).Yeah.Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people ha

22、ve to lose. So if youre gonna play poker with me, dont expect me to be a nice guy, OK? Cause once those cards are dealt. (claps hands three times)Joey: (pause).Yeah?Ross: Im not a nice guy.Scene: Ross apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.Ross: Alright boys, lets eat.Chand

23、ler: Oh, did you get that from the I Love Rachel pizzeria?Ross: You still on that?Chandler: Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? (mimicking): When I play poker, Im not a nice guy!Ross: You are way off, pal.Joey: No, I dont think so, see Ross, because I think you love her.Ross: Um

24、. no. See, I mightve had feelings for her at one timenot any more. I justI.(Marcel makes a screeching noise in background.)Ross: Marcel! Where are you going with that disc?(Marcel puts a CD in the player.)Ross: You are not putting that on again! Marcel, OKif you press that button, you are in very, v

25、ery big trouble.(The Lion Sleeps Tonight starts to play. Marcel starts to dance.)Scene: Monica and Rachels, Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there.Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive.Phoebe: Ha. Ha, ha.Monica: What?Phoeb

26、e: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. Youre black.Monica: Please! I am not as bad as Ross.Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?Monica: That was not an incident! I-I was gesturing, a-and the plate slipped out of my hand.Rachel: Oooooh. (reads letter) (surprised): Oh! I got an intervie

27、w! I got an interview!Monica: Youre kidding! Where? Where?Rachel: (in disbelief): Saks. Fifth. Avenue.Monica: Oh, Rachel!Phoebe: Oh, its like the mother ship is calling you home.Monica: Well, whats the job?Rachel: Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping. for a living!(Knock on door.)Monica: OK, loo

28、k. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. (opens door) Hi!Aunt Iris: Is Tony Randall dead?Rachel: No.Monica: I dont think so.Rachel: Why?Aunt Iris: Well, he may be now, because I think I hit him with my car.Monica: What?Rache

29、l: Oh my God!Monica: Really?Aunt Iris: No! Thats bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something. everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings.Phoebe: Thank y. (thinks about it)Aunt Iris: Girls, sit down.Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoeb

30、e, and thats Rachel.Aunt Iris: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, listen, I am parked at a meter. Lets do it.Scene: Rosss apartment, everyone but Rachel is seated around his table. The Lion Sleep Tonight plays in the background.Phoebe: Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else?Ross: A

31、lright.(Ross shuts off the CD player. Marcel runs into the bedroom and slams the door.)Ross: Im gonna pay for that tonight.(Knock on door. Ross opens it. Rachel enters.)Rachel: Hi!Ross: Hey.Rachel: Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what!Chandler: Um, ok. the. the fifth dentist caved and now theyre all recommending Trident?Rachel: Noooo. the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we ha