关于英语的简单笑话大全.docx

1、关于英语的简单笑话大全三一文库（XX）关于英语的简单笑话大全*篇一：超简短的5个英文笑话超简短的5个英文笑话1.Teacher:whoeveranswersmynextquestion,cangohome.老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。Oneboythrowshisbagoutthewindow.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。Teacher:whojustthrewthat?!老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?Boy:Me!Imgoinghomenow.男孩：我!我现在要回家了。2.Whatdogcanjumphigherthanabuilding?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog,bu

2、ildingscantjump!任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。3.Whathasahead,atail,andnobody?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?Acoin!硬币。4.Whathasoneeyebutcannotsee?什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?Aneedle.针。5.Wife:Howwouldyoudescribeme?妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?Husband:ABCDEFGHIJK.丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife:Whatdoesthatmean?妻子：那是什么意思?Husband:Adorable,beautiful,cute,delightful,elegant,fashi

3、onable,gorgeous,andhot.丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。Wife:Aw,thankyou,butwhataboutIJK?妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband:Imjustkidding!丈夫：开个玩笑!*篇二：看笑话学英语笑话大全爆笑翻译1.Onedayavisitorfromthecitycametoasmallruralareatodrivearoundthecountryroads,seehowthefarmslooked,andperhapstoseehowfarmersearnedtheirliv

4、ing.Thecitymansawafarmerinhisyard,holdingapigupinhishands,andliftingitsothatthepigcouldeatapplesfromanappletree.Thecitymansaidtothefarmer,Iseethatyourpiglikesapples,butisntthatquiteawasteoftime?Thefarmerreplied,Whatstimetoapig?一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，

5、手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?那位农夫回答说，时间对猪有什么意义?2.TheLooneyBinLateonenightattheinsaneasylum(疯人院）oneinmateshouted,IamNapoleon!”Anotheronesaid,Howdoyouknow?Thefirstinmatesaid,Godtoldme!Justthen,avoicefromanotherroomshouted,Ididnot!疯人院一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑！”另一个说：“你怎么

6、知道？”第一个人说：“上帝对我说的！”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说！”Notes:（1）Looney(俚语）疯子（2）inmate（n.同住者,同室者(特指在医院、监狱)）（3）insaneasylum(疯人院）3.BoxingandRunningDanisteachinghissonhowtobox.Ashedoesso,helefthisfriend,Thisisatoughworld,soImteachingmyboytofight.Friend:Butsupposehecomesupagainstsomeonemuchbiggerthanheis,whosalsobeen

7、taughthowtobox.Dan:Imteachinghimhowtorun,too.拳击和赛跑丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。”朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办？”丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”NOTEcomeupagainst遇到一个对手against表示相对的相反的4.ThewardenoftheprisonfeltsorryforoneofhisinmatesbecauseeveryweekendonVisitorsDay,mostoftheprisonershadfamilymembe

8、rsandfriendscoming,butpoorGeorgealwayssataloneinhiscell.SooneVisitorsDay,thewardencalledGeorgetohisofficeandsaid,Inoticeyouveneverhadanyvisitors,George.Sympathetic,heputhishandonGeorgesshoulder.Tellme,dontyouhaveanyfriendsorfamily?Georgereplied,Oh,sureIdo,Warden.Itsjustthattheyreallinhere!典狱长对狱中一位囚犯

9、深感同情，因为每逢周末的探访日，大多数囚犯都有家人或朋友来访，但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。因此在一个探访日，典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说：“乔治，我注意到从来没有人来探望过你。”他满怀同情地把手放在乔治的肩膀上：“告诉我，你没有任何朋友或家人吗？”乔治回答：“喔！当然有，典狱长，只不过他们全都在这里面！”5.Policeman:Whydidntyoushoutforhelpwhenyouwererobbedofyourwatch?Man:IfIhadopenedmymouth,theydhavefoundmyfourgoldteeth.Thatwouldbemuchworse.警察

10、：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。6.Ashoplifter（商店扒手）|wascaughtred-handedtryingtostealawatchfromajewelrystore.Listen,saidtheshoplifter,Iknowyoudontwantanytroubleeither.WhatdoyousayIjustbuythewatch,andweforgetaboutthis?Themanageragreedandwroteupthesalesslip.Thecrook（骗子，坏蛋）lookedatthesl

11、ipandsaid,ThisisalittlemorethanIintendedtospend.一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样？”经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道：“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点，你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。7.Thesuspicious-lookingmandroveuptotheborder,wherehewasgreetedbyasentry（哨兵）.Whentheguardlookedinthetrunk,hewassurprisedt

12、ofindsixsacksbulgingattheseams（缝合线）.来自我要看笑话Whatsinhere?heasked.Dirt,thedriverreplied.Takethemout,theguardinstructed.Iwanttocheckthem.Obliging,themanremovedthebags,andsureenough,eachoneofthemcontainednothingbutdirt.Reluctantly,theguardlethimgo.Aweeklaterthemancameback,andonceagain,thesentrylookedinth

13、etruck.Whatsinthebagsthistime?heasked.Dirt,moredirt.saidtheman.Notbelievinghim,theguardcheckedthesacksand,onceagain,hefoundnothingbutsoil.Thesamethinghappenedeveryweekforsixmonths,anditfinallybecamesofrustratingtotheguardthathequitandbecameabartender（酒保）.*篇三：英语幽默小笑话大全英语幽默小笑话大全1.akissAtadinnerparty,t

14、hespeaker,whowastheguestofhonor,wasabouttodeliveraspeechwhenhiswifesittingattheotherendofthetable,senthimapieceofpaperwiththewordKISSscribbledonit.Theguestseatednexttothespeakersaid,Yourwifemustloveyouverymuch,IseehersendyouaKISSbeforeyoubeginyourspeech.Thespeakersmiledandexplained,Youdontknowmywife

15、.TheKISSshegivemestandsforKeepItShort,Stupid.2.agreatmanTeacher:WouldShakespearebeagreatmanifhewerestillalivetoday?Student:Ofcourse.Hemustbeagreatman,forsofarnobodyhaslivedtoover400years.一名伟人老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。3.buyingyourticketThreeengineersandthreeaccountantsaretraveli

16、ngbytraintoaconference.Atthestation,thethreeaccountantseachbuyticketsandwatchasthethreeengineersbuyonlyasingleticket.Howarethreepeoplegoingtotravelononlyoneticket?asksanaccountant.Watchandyoullsee,answersanengineer.Theyallboardthetrain.Theaccountantstaketheirrespectiveseatsbutallthreeengineerscramin

17、toarestroomandclosethedoorbehindthem.Shortlyafterthetrainhasdeparted,theconductorcomesaroundcollectingtickets.Heknocksontherestroomdoorandsays,ticket,please.Thedooropensjustacrackandasinglearmemergeswithaticketinhand.Theconductortakesitandmoveson.Theaccountantssawthisandagreeditwasquiteacleveridea.S

18、oaftertheconference,theaccountantsdecidetocopytheengineersonthereturntripandsavesomemoney(beingcleverwithmoney,andall!)Whentheygettothestationtheybuyasingleticketforthereturntrip.Totheirastonishment,theengineersdontbuyaticketatall.Howareyougoingtotravelwithoutaticket?saysoneperplexedaccountant.Watch

19、andyoullsee,answersanengineer.Whentheyboardthetrainthethreeaccountantscramintoarestroomandthethreeengineerscramintoanotheronenearby.Thetraindeparts.Shortlyafterward,oneoftheengineersleaveshisrestroomandwalksovertotherestroomwheretheaccountantsarehiding.Heknocksonthedoorandsays,ticket,please.4.TwoCut

20、edogsAmanwalksintoashopandseesacutelittledog.Heaskstheshopkeeper,Doesyourdogbite?Theshopkeepersays,No,mydogdoesnotbite.Themantriestopetthedogandthedogbiteshim.Ouch,hesays,Ithoughtyousaidyourdogdoesnotbite!Theshopkeeperreplies,Thatisnotmydog.TwoCutedogsAmanwalksintoashopandseesacutelittledog.Heaskstheshopkeeper,Doesyourdogbite?Theshopkeepersays,No,mydogdoesnotbite.Themantriestopetthedogandthedogbiteshim.Ouch,hesays,Ithoughtyousaidyourdogdoesnotbite!Theshopkeeperreplies,Thatisnotmydog.苏子玮关于英语的简单笑话大全