高考满分作文.docx

1、高考满分作文编写要求12011年高考试题要求：务必准确，不得与原题有误差。（标出试卷名及分值）2名师解析说明： 剖析该题命题的关键所在，特点所在，考查目的所在。 此类作文如何提高分数（技巧所在）（得分亮点所在）。 写作该文题要表达的内容要点有哪些。 列出可能用到的词汇（810个左右）与句式（45个左右）。 此类作文忌讳有哪些（失分因素），如何避免。 字数400-600字。3满分作文（2篇，优秀佳作，不能有任何错误）说明： 旁批：点评字、词、句、构思等方面的亮点并说明理由，对应的关键词、句用下划波浪线标出。68个，每个要点讲解字数约为3060字。 满分揭秘：结合习作本文从宏观、综合的角度，分几个

2、方面评析，如内容要点、行文连贯、语言运用等等。针对性要强，切记泛泛而谈。字数100150字。4. 稿费标准：每千字50元。5. 交稿时间：2011年6月20日之前。编写体例高考真题 江苏卷第五部分：书面表达（满分25分）81.下面这幅照片展现了女儿为回家妈妈拿包的情景。请根据你对这幅照片的理解用英语写一篇短文。你的短文应包含以下内容：1. 描述照片内容，如情景、人物、动作，等等；2. 结合自身实际，谈谈你的感想；3. 举例说明你能为家长减负做些什么。注意：1. 可参照图中文字及下面文章开头所给提示，作必要的发挥想象。2. 词数150左右。开头已经写好，不计入总词数。3. 作文中不得提及考生所在

3、学校和本人姓名。The burden of students has been a hot topic for years, but the load of parents has received little attention, especially from their own children.名师解析 试题解读这图片展现了女儿帮回家的妈妈拿包的情景。图片生动地呈现了一个3-5岁的小姑娘，吃力地将大包从妈妈身上取下，来减缓妈妈背部的疼痛，减轻妈妈肩上的负担，多么感人的画面啊。当今社会都在呼吁，减轻孩子的压力、负担。但，谁在关心孩子的父母？有人说，当今的孩子不缺少爱，不缺少呵护，他们缺

4、失的是感恩，是责任。该考题从此作为切入点，引导孩子要理解父母，关心父母，承担责任。试题的形式新颖，内容符合主流价值观，引导孩子从小学会关爱他人，有爱心，有责任感。只有培养孩子从小做起，从现在做起，才能加快和谐社会的构建，也才能使和谐社会延续。从这一角度分析，试题具有较强的思想性。此篇短文，不仅要求考生简洁明了地描述图片的内容、谈及个人感想，而且要求写出具体做法。试题考查学生的描述能力。然而描述能力离不开学生的观察能力、想象能力和语言组织能力，在某种程度上为考生提供自由发挥和自由表达的空间。 写作要点描写图片的内容，如情景、任务、动作等；结合自身实际，谈谈感想；举例说明能为家长做些什么以减轻他们

5、的负担； 可用素材词汇 burden, do some housework, happiness, ease, support the family, such as, pressure, moved句式 In the picture stands a little girl who is trying her best to lift her moms big bag. Her mother with a big smile on her face is full of happiness. Firstly, we can do some housework which is endless

6、 and tiring. Secondly, we can do something small, such as making a cup of tea, preparing a simplemeal or turning on light music for them when they return from work , which sometimemakes a great difference to them.The picture makes me lost in thought. 注意事项文中开头对照片内容，如情景、人物、动作的描写要简洁、生动；结合自身谈谈感想部分要依托照片内

7、容，且不可空发感想，给人无病呻吟的感觉；举例说明要具体；为使文章生动起见，在描述照片内容时，可使用现在进行时。 满分文展示1 From the picture, we can see these words“to ease the pain in her back, I removed the heavy load from moms shoulders.”In the picture stands a little girl who is trying her best to lift her moms big bag. Her moved mother with a big smile o

8、n her face is full of happiness. I have some thoughts about this picture. Our parents, burdened with family and work pressure work day and night to support the family. However, many of us children who are busy with our studies only care about ourselves, ignoring our parents. In my opinion, we should

9、 do what we can to remove their load from now on. First we can do some housework which is endless and tiring. Next, as students, working hard and improving are our duty which would give our parents great comfort. last but not the least, we ought to understand and love our parents from the bottom of

10、our hearts, which, of course, would make them relieved. 旁批：这是一个完全倒装句，介词短语放句首时，句子应全部倒装，倒装句使句子表达简洁、生动，使文章更加出彩。“大”“小”两个反义词起到反衬作用，言外之意是女孩小小年纪就能为母亲分担沉重的负担。此处彰显出考生的巧妙构思。 此句给妈妈加了两个定语，过去分词形容词moved和with复合结构作定语，把妈妈感动和幸福的表情生动地呈现在读者面前，表现了考生不凡的驾驭词语的能力。“thought”的意思是“思想，想法，见解，观念”。该考生能恰当地使用这一词语，显现其具有较丰富的词汇。burden s

11、b with sth, be burdened with 汉语意思是“负担着，背负着”。此处使用恰当到位。分词短语作伴随状语使句子表达简洁，避免连续使用简单句。这两个单词突出家务活繁重且无止无休，同时也突出父母平时劳累。 该考生在谈及具体做法时叙述了三点，不仅帮父母身体上减负而且帮父母精神上减压，从心灵上给予他们慰藉，文章很有深度。 满分揭秘：该考生严格按考题要求，出色完成写作任务。首先以简洁生动的语言描述了照片的信息。其次该考生在谈及自身体会时态度诚恳，剖析较为透彻。最后说到自己的做法，该考生能从身心两方面谈及为父母减负，文章内容具有一定深度。行文过程中，该考生能够恰当的使用一些较高级的词汇

12、如burdened with, thought, tiring, endless等，这些词汇使文章表达更加准确到位同时也给文章增添几分文采。文中娴熟地使用过去分词作定语及倒装句等，充分体现出该考生扎实的语言功底及自如运用语言的能力。综上所述，此篇文章无论是篇章布局还是细节的处理，都是一篇高质量的临场作文，值得推荐给同学们。 满分文展示2The burden of students has been a hot topic for years, but the load of parents has received little attention, especially from their

13、 own children.As can be seen from the picture, a mother comes back home,tired out, to ease the pain in her back, a little girl removes the heavy load from moms shoulders and mom with a big smile on her face is deeply moved.The picture makes me lost in thought. Parents spare no effort to bring us up.

14、 They are always devoted selflessly to us and dont expect any reward.As their children, we must do something to ease their load. Firstly, we must behave ourselves and not make them worry about us, which would reduce their mental pressure. Secondly, we can do something small, such as making a cup of

15、tea preparing a simple meal or turning on light music for them when they return from work, which sometimes makes a great difference to them. Finally, we should help them do some housework regularly. 旁批：as 引导的非限制定语从句放句首，是定语从句中较难的知识点，该考生能娴熟地运用到写作中去，足见其功底非同一般。tired out 在句中做主语补足语，强调母亲下班回来时精疲力竭。如删去，其表达效果大打折扣，给人一字千金的感觉。lost in thought意思是“陷入沉思”，类似的表达还有 de