1、老友记剧本第一季01中英文对照101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The Uncut Version)Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.Monica: Theres nothing to tell! Hes just some guy I work with!Joey: Come on, youre going out with the guy! Theres gotta be something wrong with h
2、im!Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump A hump and a hairpiecePhoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk(They all stare, bemused.)Phoebe: Just, cause, I dont want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. Its just two people
3、 going out to dinner and- not having sex.Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.Time LapseChandler: Alright, so Im back in high school, Im standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize theres a phone. the
4、re.Joey: Instead of.Chandler: Thats right.Joey: Never had that dream.Phoebe: No.Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I dont know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. Monica: And they werent looking at you before!Chandler: Finally, I figure Id better answer it, and it turns
5、 out its my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!Time Lapse, Ross has entered.Ross: (mortified) Hi.Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.Monica: Are you okay, sweetieRoss: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of
6、my mouth and tied it around my neck.Chandler: CookieMonica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. Joey: Ohh.Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.Ross: Thanks.Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)Ross: No, no dont! Stop cleansing my aur
7、a! No, just leave my aura alone, okayPhoebe: Fine! Be murky!Ross: Ill be fine, alright Really, everyone. I hope shell be very happy.Monica: No you dont.Ross: No I dont, to hell with her, she left me!Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian.Ross: No! Okay! Why does everyone keep fixating on that Sh
8、e didnt know, how should I knowChandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loudRoss: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 ., Ill never have gra
9、ndchildren, Ill never have grandchildren. was what A wrong numberRoss: Sorry.Joey: Alright Ross, look. Youre feeling a lot of pain right now. Youre angry. Youre hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is(Ross gestures his consent.)Joey: Strip joint! Cmon, youre single! Have some hormones!Ross: I don
10、t want to be single, okay I just. I just- I just wanna be married again!(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)Monica: Rachel!Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building a
11、nd you werent there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!Waitress: Can I get you some coffeeMonica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and P
12、hoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross Rachel: Hi, sure!Ross: Hi. (They go to hug but Rosss umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet
13、bridesmaidsRachel: Oh God. well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee) Sweet n Lo- I rea
14、lized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and thats when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Yknow, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but. Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering Why am I doing
15、this, and who am I doing this for. (to Monica) So anyway I just didnt know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but youre the only person I knew who lived here in the city.Monica: Who wasnt invited to the wedding.Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldnt be an issue. S
16、cene: Monicas Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.Monica: Now Im guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and shes really not happy about it. Chandler: (imitating the characters) Tuna or egg salad Decide!Ross: (in a deep
17、 voice) Ill have whatever Christine is having.Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just. I cant marry him! Im sorry. I just dont love him. Well, it matters to me! (The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.)Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off. Chandler: (re TV)
18、Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants. Joey: I say push her down the stairs. Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!(She is pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.)Rachel: Cmon Daddy, listen to me! Its like, its like, a
19、ll of my life, everyone has always told me, Youre a shoe! Youre a shoe, youre a shoe, youre a shoe!. And today I just stopped and I said, What if I dont wanna be a shoe What if I wanna be a- a purse, yknow Or a- or a hat! No, Im not saying I want you to buy me a hat, Im saying I am a ha- Its a metap
20、hor, Daddy!Ross: You can see where hed have trouble.Rachel: Look Daddy, its my life. Well maybe Ill just stay here with Monica. Monica: Well, I guess weve established whos staying here with Monica.Rachel: Well, maybe thats my decision. Well, maybe I dont need your money. Wait! Wait, I said maybe!Tim
21、e Lapse, Rachel is breating into a paper bag.Monica: Just breathe, breathe. thats it. Just try to think of nice calm things. Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens. La la la la.somethi
22、ng and noodles with string. These are a few.Rachel: Im all better now.Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, yknow Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, hat thing.Joey: (comforting her) And h
23、ey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And hes away a lot.Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! Its her wedding day!Joey: What, like theres a rule or something(The door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.)Chandler: Please dont do that again, its a horr
24、ible sound.Paul: (over the intercom) Its, uh, its Paul.Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30 Buzz him in!Joey: Whos PaulRoss: Paul the Wine Guy, PaulMonica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your not a real date tonight is with Paul the Wine GuyRoss: He finally asked you outMonica: Yes!Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary mom
25、ent.Monica: Rach, wait, I can cancel.Rachel: Please, no, go, thatd be fine!Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay I mean, do you want me to stayRoss: (choked voice) Thatd be good.Monica: (horrified) ReallyRoss: (normal voice) No, go on! Its Paul the Wine Guy!Phoebe: What does that mean Does he sell it,
26、 drink it, or just complain a lot (Chandler doesnt know.)(Theres a knock on the door and its Paul.)Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is. (They are all lined up next to the door.). everybody, everybody, this is Paul.All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!Chandler: Im sorry, I didnt catch your name. Paul
27、, was itMonica: Okay, umm-umm, Ill just-Ill be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah.Ross: A wanderingMonica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That cant be good.(Monica goes to change.)Joey: Hey, Paul!Paul: YeahJoey: Heres a little ti
28、p, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!Ross: So Rachel, whatre you, uh. whatre you up to tonightRachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my hon
29、eymoon, so nothing!Ross: Right, youre not even getting your honeymoon, God. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year. talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards. Anyway, if you dont feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.Chandler: (dea
30、dpan) Yes, and were very excited about it. Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think Im just gonna hang out here tonight. Its been kinda a long day.Ross: Okay, sure.Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna helpPhoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I dont want to.Commercial BreakScene: The Subway, Phoebe is singing for
31、 change.Phoebe: (singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love.is like a giant pigeon.crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la.ohhh!Scene: Rosss Apartment, the guys are there assembling furniture.Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) Im supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I
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