1、老友记第一季第一集中英文对照台词06617优质文档101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The Uncut Version)Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.Monica: Theres nothing to tell! Hes just some guy I work with!Joey: Come on, youre going out with the guy! Theres gotta be something wr
2、ong with him!Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?(They all stare, bemused.)Phoebe: Just, cause, I dont want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. Its ju
3、st two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.Time LapseChandler: Alright, so Im back in high school, Im standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize theres
4、 a phone. there.Joey: Instead of.?Chandler: Thats right.Joey: Never had that dream.Phoebe: No.And it turns out its my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!Time Lapse, Ross has entered.Ross: (mortified) Hi.Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.Monica: Are you okay, s
5、weetie?Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck.Chandler: Cookie?Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. Joey: Ohh.Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.Ross: Thanks.Phoe
6、be: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)Ross: No, no dont! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?Ross: Ill be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope shell be very happy.Monica: No you dont.Ross: No I dont, to hell with her, she left me!Joey: And you
7、never knew she was a lesbian.Ross: No! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didnt know, how should I know?Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?Joey: Alright Ross, look. Youre feeling a lot of pain right now. Youre angry. Youre hu
8、rting. Can I tell you what the answer is?(Ross gestures his consent.)Joey: Strip joint! Cmon, youre single! Have some hormones!Ross: I dont want to be single, okay? I just. I just- I just wanna be married again!(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)Chandler: And I just
9、 want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)Monica: Rachel?!Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you werent there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?Monica: (pointing at Rac
10、hel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross? Rachel: Hi, sure!Ross: Hi. (They go to hug but Rosss umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A mo
11、ment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?Rachel: Oh God. well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking
12、 at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee) Sweet n Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and thats when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr.
13、 Potato Head. Yknow, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but. Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?. (to Monica) So anyway I just didnt know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but youre the o
14、nly person I knew who lived here in the city.Monica: Who wasnt invited to the wedding.Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldnt be an issue. Scene: Monicas Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.Monica: Now Im guessing that he
15、bought her the big pipe organ, and shes really not happy about it. Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just. I cant marry him! Im sorry. I just dont love him. Well, it matters to me! (The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.)Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing tho
16、se pants. Joey: I say push her down the stairs. Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!(She is pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.)Rachel: Cmon Daddy, listen to me! Its like, its like, all of my life, everyone has always
17、 told me, Youre a shoe! Youre a shoe, youre a shoe, youre a shoe!. And today I just stopped and I said, What if I dont wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, yknow? Or a- or a hat! No, Im not saying I want you to buy me a hat, Im saying I am a ha- Its a metaphor, Daddy!Ross: You can see whe
18、re hed have trouble.Rachel: Look Daddy, its my life. Well maybe Ill just stay here with Monica. Monica: Well, I guess weve established whos staying here with Monica.Rachel: Well, maybe thats my decision. Well, maybe I dont need your money. Wait! Wait, I said maybe!Time Lapse, Rachel is breating into
19、 a paper bag.Monica: Just breathe, breathe. thats it. Just try to think of nice calm things. Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens. La la la la.something and noodles with string. Thes
20、e are a few.Rachel: Im all better now.Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, yknow? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, hat thing.Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can
21、always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And hes away a lot.Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! Its her wedding day!Joey: What, like theres a rule or something?(The door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.)Chandler: Please dont do that again, its a horrible sound.Paul: (over the int
22、ercom) Its, uh, its Paul.Monica: Buzz him in!Joey: Whos Paul?Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your not a real date tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?Ross: He finally asked you out?Monica: Yes!Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.Monica: Rach, wait, I can cancel.Rachel:
23、Please, no, go, thatd be fine!Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?Ross: (choked voice) Thatd be good.Monica: (horrified) Really?Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! Its Paul the Wine Guy!(Theres a knock on the door and its Paul.)Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is. (They ar
24、e all lined up next to the door.). everybody, everybody, this is Paul.All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!Chandler: Im sorry, I didnt catch your name. Paul, was it?Monica: Okay, umm-umm, Ill just-Ill be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah.Ross: A wandering?Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows
25、Paul in) Two seconds.Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That cant be good.(Monica goes to change.)Ross: So Rachel, whatre you, uh. whatre you up to tonight?Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!Ross: Right, youre not even getting your honey
26、moon, God. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year. talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards. Anyway, if you dont feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and were very excited about it. Rachel: Well actually
27、thanks, but I think Im just gonna hang out here tonight. Its been kinda a long day.Ross: Okay, sure.Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I dont want to.Scene: Rosss Apartment, the guys are there assembling furniture.Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) Im suppos
28、ed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)Joey: (picking up a leftover part) Whats this?Chandler: I have no id
29、ea.(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)Joey: Done with the bookcase!Chandler: All finished!Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carols favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if youre gonna start with that
30、 stuff were outta here.Chandler: Yes, please dont spoil all this fun.Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?Ross: You guys.Chandler: Oh, God.Joey: You got screwed.Chandler: Oh my God!Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are eating.Moni
31、ca: Oh my God!Paul: I know, I know, Im such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?Monica: My brothers going through that right now, hes such a mess. How did you get through it?Paul: Well, you might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers, say her-Monica: -leg?Paul: (laughing) Thats one way! Me, I- I went for the watch.Monica: You actually broke her watch?Rachel: Barry, Im sorry. I am so sorry. I know you probably think that th
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