家庭与夫妻关系心理学中英文讲义Word文档格式.docx

1、How do we study something like, relationship?其中原因之一是One of the reasons we are doing that is,有些人会反驳我somebody irritates me,有些人 比如有些记者说 爱情啊people say, some journalists say, oh love,你怎么可能研究爱情 那是无法研究的how do you study that? You cant study that.不 你可以研究爱情Yes you can.我已经对其从事研究近二十年ve been studying it for almo

2、st twenty years,我保证你也可以I assure you can do it.最终 我希望And finally,在十周课程结束时大家能给我反馈d like to be informed at the end of weeks.在这十周时间中Ten weeks from now on,我们会讨论各种与关系相关的话题there are a lot of issue about relationships.这些问题备受争议 人们也经常讨论They are highly controversial and people talk a lot about them.从权威人士 社论作家P

3、undits and editorialists到我们的家人and our own family members在假期聚餐时都会说at holiday dinners will say,我跟你讲讲关于关系的事情oh, Ill tell you a thing or two about relationships.我并非想让你们成为百事通Well, not that I want you to be know-it-all anything,但不管你是否准备发言but I would like you to list it in your own head我都希望你们能在脑海中列出一个清单whe

4、ther you choose to speak up or not, to say比如我碰巧掌握了一些I happen to know there is some data相关话题的数据 确实that bear on these issues, and there are如今在研究复杂问题时most of the time there are data,我们往往都需要数据支持research that bear on the complicated issues of today.我希望你们能对这些数据有大体概念d like you to have a sense of what that

5、data look like以便对整个话题有更好的理解so that you can be informed.当然 之后你也可以One of the times, you can still,形成自己的想法I mean you can form your own opinion,不过至少应该先了解这些数据but at least you know what the data are.这就是我们这门课的教学方法s what we are gonna do in this course.在我们了解课程目标之前So before we really get into somebodys goals我

6、们应该先对讨论对象有一个认识we should probably have some idea of what we are talking about.如我所说 我们讨论的是亲密关系As I said we are talking about intimate relationships,不过究竟什么是亲密关系but what on earth is intimate relationship?我们得比最高法院And we want to do better than对色情物品的定义做得更好the supreme courts definition of pornography, which

7、 is他们的定义是 尽管无法用语言表述well I dont, I cant define it但是一经目睹就立刻分辨的出but I know it when I see it.我们想做得更好 我们说 不We wanna do better, we wanna say, no,一段关系当中there is something about a relationship,有某种特殊的东西there is something about it促使其成为亲密关系that makes these things an intimate relationship.为了弄明白这个问题And to pin th

8、ese thing down,我们先从广义范围入手lets start broad.我们先谈谈 什么是关系Lets start by saying, whats a relationship?对于那些以前选过社会心理学的同学For those of you who have taken Sociopsychology in the past,接下来的十五分钟基本上是个回顾this next minutes or so will be a bit of review.注意听讲So, pay attention不过要是你都知道but you can also feel smug也可以沾沾自喜一下i

9、f you know this.什么是关系What怎么才能知道两个人处于一段关系中How do you know that two people are in relationship?如果两个人坐在一起If two people are sitting next to each other仅仅是看着他们and Im looking at them,我并不能判断他们是否处于一段关系中I cant tell whether they are in relationship or not.那是什么让这两个人处于一段关系中呢What makes two people in a relationshi

10、p?有什么想法吗Any guesses?没有吗No?好的 你叫什么 玛瑞莎There we go. Whats your name? Marrisa?好的 这想法不错Yeah, thats a damn good guess玛瑞莎 我不会为难你And Marrisa Im not gonna put you on the spot.但我要问问什么是互相依赖m gonna ask what is interdependence.放心 我不会为难你的No, I wont put you on the spot.玛瑞莎的意思是What Marrisa suggest is我们界定人与人之间that

11、we define a relationship between two people,动物与动物之间two farm animals或者太空中任何两个天体之间的关系or two bodies in space,是基于他们互相依赖的程度as a function of their degree of interdependence.那么究竟什么是互相依赖呢Well what is interdependence?互相依赖就是一种互相影响的特性Interdependence is the quality of affecting each others outcomes.我的行为某种程度上会影响

12、到你们的行为We are in a state of interdependence to the extent这就是我们互相依赖的状态that my actions affect your outcomes,与此同时and at the same time,你们的行为也影响着我的行为结果your actions affect my outcomes.这就是互相依赖的定义s the definition of interdependence.这是一种对彼此行为相互影响的能力Mutual, the mutual ability to affect each other只要存在互相依赖Where

13、interdependence exists,彼此之间就存在关系then a relationship exists.我们也许会问So we might ask,我们现在是否处于一种关系中are we in a relationship right now?没错 只是你们没意识到Yes we are. You didnt know.这确实存在 那这是一种什么关系呢Its totally true, how is it going?我们现在为什么处于某种关系之中呢We are in a relationship right now, why?因为我的行为影响到你们的行为结果Because my

14、action affect your outcomes:你们是感到无聊还是兴致勃勃your outcomes of being bored or interested,是想着一下课我就退选being thinking Im gonna drop this as soon as I get out of this room,还是决定选这门课or no, I wanna take this even though I know即便这门课似乎its doesnt turn out to be that much to do与人际交往没多大关系about human communication?我的行

15、为My behavior,我的所作所为影响着你们的行为结果what I choose to do affect your outcomes而你们的行为也同样影响着我and your behavior affects mine.我提出问题 如果你决定举手回答By asking question you decide to raise your hand为课堂做出贡献and contribute to class,这就会影响我的行为结果that affects my outcomes.如果你决定不回答问题And if you decide not,那也同样影响着我的行为结果that affects

16、 my outcome, too.我们确实互相依赖 互相影响We are absolutely interdependent, we are affecting each other.那么你们和UCLA的其他学生呢Ok, what about you and other UCLA students?你们是否也互相依赖Are you interdependent with other UCLA students?是的 因为如果你选择在校园里停车Yes, because you can choose to park on campus,就可能会占了别人想停的车位and take the spot

17、someone else might take,或者是选了名额有限的课程or sign up for a limited course,那么有人就无法上那门课了and then someone else doesnt get to take that course.尽管事实并非如此If this class is grade on the curve,但如果这门课程是根据百分比评分的which it isnt,那么你的成绩就会影响到别人的成绩then your grades would affect other peoples grades.你们所有人都是相互依赖的You are all in

18、terdependent,我们和UCLA校园里所有人都相互依赖we are all interdependent with everyone else on the UCLA campus.如果要对相互依赖进行广义的界定I mean if youre gonna define interdependence that broadly,那么根据这个定义来看then we are interdependent with everyone on the planet,我们和地球上的每个人都相互依赖by that definition,全球变暖让我们互相依赖 不是吗through global war

19、ming, right?我开着SUV就可能意味着I drive my SUV and that means某个在澳大利亚的人someone in Australia要经受炎热的夏天和多雨的冬天has a hot summer and a rainy winter.是的 事实确实如此Yes, thats right.根据这种对互相依赖的定义This definition of interdependence says从我们对彼此行为结果的to the extent that we affect互相影响来看each others outcomes on the planet Earth,我们和地球

20、上每个人都是相互依赖的we are all interdependent with everyone else on the planet Earth.明白吗 这就是相互依赖的意义You get it? So thats what interdependence is all about.那么我们将关系的定义缩小到ve narrowed the field of what relationship is to我们和地球上每个人之间的关系the thing that exists between us and every other human on the earth.更具体地说Ok, now

21、 we wanna get more specific.我们和地球上每个人We wanna say, well, of all those relationships都有各种关系that we have with everyone else on the planet,而我们这门课所研究的是众多关系中的what Im interested in this course in all these kinds of relationships,一种特定关系re just in the particular kind of relationship.但在我们定义这种特定关系之前But before

22、we define that kind of relationship,我们先讨论一下we wanna say, well,人与人之间关系的多面性what are the different dimensions along which relationship can vary.一些该问题的研究人And a couple of guys, whove been thinking about this,提出了五个基本要素came up with five pretty basic ones.这些就是探索人与人之间关系的方法But these are ways of maping the lan

23、dscape of relationships.也就是说 呃Ways sort of. ways of saying.heres some.这五点可以概括uhm.way of organizing世界上所有的关系类型all the relationships on the planet of the earth.这对我们来说很有帮助And thats gonna be good for us.因为一旦我们把所有的关系条理化后Because once we have them all organized,各种关系中well, this is the part of the landscape,我

24、们所关心的那一类the section of the map that we care about.相互依赖的其中一个方面So one dimension of interdependence,就是联系的频率is frequence of contact.因此 尽管你和So although youre interdepentent前面所提到的澳大利亚人相互依赖with the person living in Australia,但是除非你有特殊原因 需要联系他unless you have particular reason to contact Australian,你们的联系频率会非常

25、低 很可能是零your frequence of contact is very low, possibly zero.你和那个人直接联系的可能性为零You have zero direct contect with that person.但还有一些人 你们每天都会见面But therere other people in your life you see everday.也许是你的室友 你的恋人Maybe your roommates, maybe your romantic partner,你的配偶maybe your spouse,或者你也可以依照两个人联系的频率or you can

26、 imagining ranking all the relationships in the world,将世界上所有的关系进行排序in terms of the frequence of which the two people contact each other,从每天分分秒秒的联系到从不联系from daily, from minute to minute, to never.但这并不是关系的唯一可变要素But thats not the only demension along with relationships vary.另一个方面就是联系的持久度 换言之Another wou

27、ld be duration of contact. In other words,就是某种程度联系的持续时间how long does a particular level of contact last.所以你可以想象 就像你我之间So you wanna imagine, in this relationship,现有的关系our relationship that we have right now,对大多数人而言 联系的持久度.for many of us, the duration.联系频度是每周两次the frequency of contact is twice a week,而且对大多数人而言and for many of us the duration of contact联系的持久度是十周would be ten weeks.其实在结课后我也很乐意和你们保持联系Oh, Id love to hear from you afterwards,但你们都不打电话来but you never called.没关系 这就是一种关系So, thats OK. So thats kind of a relationship.我们有一段持续十周We have a ten week of relationship每周联系两次的关系of twice weekl