02 购物狂的自白Word格式.docx

1、like warm buttersliding down hot toast?Well thats what its likewhen I see a store.Only its better.You see a man will never love youor treat you as well as a store.If a man doesnt fit you cantexchange him seven days laterfor a gorgeous cashmere sweater.And a store always smells good.A store can awake

2、n a lust for thingsyou never even knew you needed.And when your fingers graspthose shiny new bags.Oh yes! Oh yes!Oh no. I spent $ .So you are coveringthe yard and tooI expo right? Im on it.OK dont panic.Calm. Calm. Bloomingdales.Well that would be the pants.I had to get the pants to match the. Oh sh

3、oes. I.Hold on. Somebodys stoIen my credit card! Oh my God.Somebody has stoIenmy credit card and goneon an insane spending spreearound New York. No! Yeah!Outdoor WorId?ve never beento Outdoor WorId.Yes you have. You bought that tent remember? No I didnt. For Kristens going away present. Never seen a

4、 tent.I organized the coIIectionand gave you the money.Oh.SpeciaI skiIIs Fencing?FIuent in Finnish?What? Who doesnt pad their resume?Shoe! Thanks.Why cant you get changedin your own office?And Iet everyone at Gardening Todayknow Ive secretIy arrangedan interview at Alette magazine?Did I mention I ha

5、veOnIy about a biIIion times. OK. Its kind of a Ieap isnt it?Gardening to fashion?I mean not that I meantyou couIdnt do it.Suze. since I was I wanted to work at Alette magazine.If I can just get this jobI wiII be happy forever.Wow.Rebecca you justgot a credit card bill of $ .You do not need a scarf.

6、Then again.who needs a scarf?Wrap some oId jeans aroundyour neck thatII keep you warm.Thats what your mother wouId do.Youre right she wouId.The point about this scarf is thatit wouId become partof a definition of your.Of your psyche.Do you see what I mean?No I do. Keep taIking.It wouId make your eye

7、s Iook bigger.Mmm.It wouId make my haircutIook more expensive.d wear it with everything.It wouId be an investment.You wouId waIk intothat interview confident. Confident. And poised. Poised. The girI in the green scarf.The green scarf pIease.Good choice. Its the Iast one.II be $ .How wouId you Iike t

8、o pay?Heres $ in cash can you put on this card.Ten on that.Twenty on that.s so cute. DecIined.ReaIIy? CouId you just.CouId you try it again?ReaIIy decIined. CouId you put this to one side.? I cant hoId saIe items. Excuse me. Its an emergency. Back of the Iine!Excuse me this is an emergency.Excuse yo

9、u excuse me! Do you do cash back? What?If I give you a check for $ wiII you give meone of your hot dogsand $ cash back pIease? Do I Iook Iike a bank? I have an interview.They dont hoId items.s a desperateIy important scarf.DesperateIy important scarf.Know what?s for my great aunt.Shes in the hospita

10、I.Can you ask themto turn the heating up?Want mustard with that?PIease. I wiII buy aII of your hot dogs. YouII take hot dogs? Done.Who do I make it.That means you just paid$ for a hot dog!You want your scarf I want my hot dog.Cost and worthare very different things.Thank you! My auntwiII reaIIy appr

11、eciate it. Hi.Im here for the interviewat Alette magazine.Alette. Oh fiIIed internaIIy.Yesterday.They did post it on the Web.Lets see who got the job?Speak of the deviI.AIicia. BiIIington.She has the Iongest Iegs in the worId.She notes resentfuIIy.Great. FauIty. Nice scarf. Thanks. I bought it for t

12、he interview.Scusi.Come on.As we speak interviews are being heIdat Successful Saving. The money magazine? Snort not sweet chiId.Alette may be your EmeraId City but Successful SavingcouId be your yeIIow brick road.Dantay West is a famiIy of magazinesthat acts Iike a famiIy.DeepIy nepotistic. Ugh.So m

13、y advice to you dear Dorothy is thus.Once youre in. youre in.m in.HeIIo Successful Saving.Ms. BIoomwood?So what form does this interview take?Is it just mainIya generaI chat hobbies.Oh no no no.s very specific on finance.ButterfIy investments futures.That sort of thing. But hes worth . biIIion. Good

14、 Iuck. We taIked and taIked. Said nothing.Yeah of course I did.He understands the ruIes.s aIways.Of course we got the biII.Listen Ive got to go.m interviewing.Mm mm.Yeah no not me. Bye.Sorry about that.Right um Rebecca. Ah! We met! Hi! We did. Thank you.Sick aunt scarf. Yep.Did you get it to her?I d

15、id. And when a strangeris kind Iike that its just. Wow. Thats IoveIy. Um. Do you have a resume for me? I do. Yes I do!Ah. I. couId pretty much just teII you.My name is Rebecca BIoomwood ve been a journaIist for five years.m very comfortabIe juggIing numbers I speak fIuent Finnish I know. Finnish? Ye

16、s Finnish.m aIso.s interesting. Why Finnish?Whats behind you? Um.Oh its a naked man. Oh sorry.It gave me such a fright. I uh.I didnt know what it was.CIearIy hes beheaded.Who wouId do that to him?WeII a few questions.But Iook! Makes you wonderwhat theyre Iooking aton the fifth fIoor right?You couId

17、turn your desk aroundand just stare at it aII day.I wouId. Not. Ms. BIoomwood.m not a pervert.Sit down.m sorry Im terribIe at interviews.Any financiaI stories that havecaught your eye recentIy?Yes. And I am gIadthat you brought that up.Because I am furious.No I reaIIy am.No I mean what is the storyw

18、ith the recent fish crisis?Fish crisis? FiscaI. crisis. FiscaI crisis. Terrifying. FiscaIIy I mean. How so? For the fiscaI famiIy.m sorry. Not a moment too soon. Ms. BIoomwood you dropped your scarf.She died.Oh Ms. BIoomwood you have hada very very tough minutes.m gIad you understand!So many peopIe

19、just. Right.OK so I wouId propose we curtaiI.Did you just scrub my name off? Oh no. Routine. That seems premature.OK Im gonna propose thatwe curtaiI this interview forthwith.So III Ieave you and your numbers but thank you very much for seeing me and I appreciate. Oh!I appreciate everything.Good day.

20、Come on. Lets go giveMrs. Great Outdoors her tent.s not retiring. Shes abandoning a sinking ship.That IittIe rat! The magazinesfoIding and she knew!She knew and she didnt teII anybody.WeII on the bright side you hated working for that magazine.It was my income Suze.I need my income!OK Bex the most i

21、mportant thingis not to panic. Dont answer the phone! It might be a debt coIIector! HeIIo?s Derek Smeath. The Iist. Get the Iist! I think I saw it over here. Take the Iamp!s here! BIoomingdaIes. HospitaI for depression. Detained in FinIand on work.Visa dead dog.AII City Debt CoIIection.You have to d

22、o it. HeIIo! Ms. Bloomwood? Hello.m sorry. Its actuaIIy not.s stiII recovering from.You know. OK.II have her caII you as soon as. Yes? As soon as shes come back from. From. FinIand! Clearly shes not too. Aah!Why do so many of your excusesinvoIve FinIand?Cause no one checks upon FinIand Tarkie.How am I going to pay you the rent now?WeII Im ripping up your rent check!No Suze you cant do it again.s my a