第21讲：【作文1级】作文：人物形象更生动.docx

1、【作文1级】作文：人物形象更生动学习目标学习对人物外貌、动作的细节描写。一、外貌描写形象擦亮眼 明眸善睐例一：我看见一个小姑娘，年龄不大，长得很瘦，穿得也很差。 修改后：我看见一个小姑娘，只有八九岁光景，瘦瘦的苍白的脸，冻得发紫的嘴唇，头发很短，穿一身很破旧的衣裤，光脚穿一双草鞋。“小”到什么程度？怎么个“瘦法”？穿得有多“差”？这种逐步扩充的方法，我们给它取一个名字叫 步步追问法上面追问的实际情况如何？可以通过练习了解到，但实际状态只能联想和想像，使其合情合理，这个过程我们又给它取名为 想像延伸法描写人物外貌时，还得对人的某一部位、某个方面进行精细描绘，我们又把这种方法叫做 局部细写法例一：

2、我看见一个小姑娘，年龄不大，长得很瘦，穿得也很差。 我看见一个小姑娘，只有八九岁光景，瘦瘦的苍白的脸，冻得发紫的嘴唇，头发很短，穿一身很破旧的衣裤，光脚穿一双草鞋。【归纳公式】具体形象=步步追问+想像延伸+局部细写 【小试牛刀】之步步追问衣衫褴褛的他含泪地看着拾进破烂的篮子里的黄灿灿的梨，用他那苍老黝黑的树皮之手握了握我，对我充满了感激。 “他”是个什么身份、年龄的人？“他”得到帮助时会有什么反应？“他”表示感激时是什么模样的？“他”一般以什么方式表达感激？一个乐于助人的人，会怎样面对别人的感激之情？二、动作描写细化、运用恰当的动词方法一:把人物的动作细致入微地描摹出来动作的细节描写原稿：我看

3、见他戴着黑布小帽，穿着黑布大马褂，深青布棉袍，很艰难地穿过铁道。修改稿：我看见他戴着黑布小帽，穿着黑布大马褂，深青布棉袍，蹒跚地走到铁道边，慢慢探身下去，尚不太难。可是他穿过铁道，要爬上那边月台，就不容易了。他用两手攀着上面，两脚再向上缩；他肥胖的身子向左微倾，显出努力的样子。这时我看见他的背影，我的眼泪很快地流下来了。方法二:选用准确的动词描写A：说时迟，那时快。那个摔倒在地上的运动员，手一撑，教一踮，猛地爬了起来。左脚尖顶住起跑线，膝盖一弯，稳稳地蹲着。两手就像两根木柱插在地上，整个身体微微前倾，那架势，就像一只起飞的雄鹰。B：说时迟，那时快。那个跌在地上的运动员，手一按，脚一踩，猛地站了

4、起来。左脚尖靠住起跑线，膝盖一曲，稳稳地蹲着。两手就像两根木柱立在地上，整个身体微微前伸，那架势，就像一只起飞的雄鹰。描写动作的有关词语：表示手的动作的词：抓 拉 扶 举 推 摇 摸 给 按 摁 拾 拍 敲 抛 摔 抽表示腿部和全身动作的词语：站 走 跑 蹲 踩 跌 踏 侧身 回身 转身 扭身 伸腿 蹦蹦跳跳 摇摇晃晃表现动作的成语：健步如飞 目不转睛 侧耳倾听 拔腿就跑 怒目而视 横冲直撞 飞似地跑 一瘸一拐 挤眉弄眼 虎视眈眈 哭爹叫娘 嚎啕大哭 点头微笑 抿着嘴笑 手舞足蹈 花言巧语 走马观花 吞吞吐吐 窃窃私语 抓耳挠腮 动动手，填一填我(坐在座位上)很紧张，(两只手紧紧地握着钢笔)，

5、心想：老师，我求您了，可千万别点我的名字呀！(我觉得手心里在冒汗，整颗心怦怦跳)。我(用祈求的眼光)看着老师，惟恐从他的嘴里说出我的名字。 课堂小结这节课我们学习了有关写作的哪些内容呢？外貌描写细节描写动作描写学会积累学会做生活的有心人学会观察、学会感受、学会思考 学做生活有心人！因此：做人要“三心二意”三心：有恒心、有耐心、有信心二意：富有创意、令人满意慈爱善良，温柔贤惠的妈妈腰上系着绣着蓝白花纹的围裙，一副中国标准家庭妇女的形象，右手提着一个粗大的塑料桶，满满的水让瘦弱的妈妈半弯着腰，右手扬起老高，一步一迈，一左一右，艰难地从走廊那头走来，转进了厨房。一双稚嫩的孩童脚，一双纤细美丽的母亲的

6、手，一盆泛着晶莹光泽的水。妈妈双手握着孩子的小脚，轻轻从盆子中拿起。 妈妈动听的声音温柔地讲着小鸭子的故事：“小鸭子，游啊，游啊，游上了岸。”这时，美丽的母亲已经擦干了儿子的脚，手指温温地在他的小脚心一划，儿子俏皮地笑着翻到了床上，只见，儿子小小的个头，双手托着多半盆水，托得很高，到了胸脯，摇摇晃晃地走来。他很努力地想保持平衡，但那么重的水根本不怜惜他嫩小的胳膊，洒出来许多，打湿了他的衣服，溅起的水花，打到他的脸上，眼睛里，他努力睁开眼，执拗地向妈妈走来。妈妈站在门口彻底被这幅场景惊讶了，感动了。 Heres To Never Growing UpAvril LavigneSinging ra

7、diohead at the top of our lungsWith the boom box blaring as were falling in loveI got a bottle of whatever, but its getting us drunkSinging heres to never growing upCall up all our friendsGo hard this weekendFor no damn reason,I dont think well ever changeMeet you at the spot,Half past ten oclockWe

8、dont ever stop,And were never gonna changeSay, wont you stay forever stayIf you stay forever heyWe can stay forever youngSinging radiohead at the top of our lungsWith the boom box blaring as were falling in loveI got a bottle of whatever, but its getting us drunkSinging heres to never growing upWell

9、 be running down the street, yelling kiss my.Im like yeah whatever, were still living like that,When the suns going down, well be raising our cupsSinging heres to never growing upOh woah oh woah heres to never growing upOh woah oh woah heres to never growing upWe live like rock stars， Dance in every

10、 barThis is who we are,I dont think well ever changeThey say just grow up but they dont know usWe dont give a f.Forget, were never gonna changeSay, wont you stay forever stayIf you stay forever heyWe can stay forever youngSinging radiohead at the top of our lungsWith the boom box blaring as were fal

11、ling in loveI got a bottle of whatever, but its getting us drunkSinging heres to never growing upWell be running down the street, yelling kiss my.Im like yeah whatever, were still living like that,When the suns going down, well be raising our cupsSinging heres to never growing upOh woah oh woah here

12、s to never growing upOh woah oh woah heres to never growing upSay, wont you stay forever stayIf you stay forever heyWe can stay forever youngSinging radiohead at the top of our lungsWith the boom box blaring as were falling in loveI got a bottle of whatever, but its getting us drunkSinging heres to

13、never growing upWell be running down the street, yelling kiss my.Im like yeah whatever, were still living like that,Whe the suns going down, well be raising our cupsSinging heres to never growing upOh woah oh woah heres to never growing upOh woah oh woah heres to never growing upOh woah oh woah heres to never growing upOh woah oh woah heres to never growing up