英语演讲稿笑话多篇.docx

1、英语演讲稿笑话多篇英语演讲稿笑话two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. he doesnt seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. the other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. he gasps, my friend is dead! what can i do?. the operator says calm down. i can help. first, lets m

2、ake sure hes dead. there is a silence, then a shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says ok, now what?简单翻译:两个猎人在森林里打猎,突然甲倒下了.并且看上去不再呼吸了,眼睛也变得呆滞.乙赶紧拿起电话打给救护中心,上气不接下气的说:我的朋友死了,怎么办?.服务人员说:淡定,我有办法.首先,我们嘚确保他是死了. 安静了一会儿,电话里响起了一阵枪声,电话那头乙说道:好了,那接下来怎么办.下面是被评选世界第二搞笑的笑话：sherlock holmes and dr watson were g

3、oing cing. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke watson up and said: “watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.”holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”wa

4、tson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, its quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole

5、 our tent.”简单翻译:甲乙一起去野营.他俩在星光下搭好帐篷然后睡去. 半夜的某时,甲叫醒乙:抬头看看那些星星,然后告诉我你发现了什么?乙:我看见好多好多的星星.甲:如此你能推断出什么结论?乙回答道:嗯.假如天上有无数的恒星,而且其中一些有自己的行星,那么很有可能就会有像地球一样的星球存在.假如有像地球一样的星球存在,那里还可能存在生物.甲无语:你个sb.这说明有人偷了我们的帐篷.第二篇：英语笑话英语笑话笑话一：a woman gets on a bus with her baby. the bus driver says: thats the ugliest baby that iv

6、e ever seen. ugh! the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. she says to a man next to her: the driver just insulted me! the man says: you go right up there and tell him off go ahead, ill hold your monkey for you.(某女士带着宝宝坐公交车。司机说：“这是我见过最丑的宝宝。噢!”该女走到车厢后部坐下来，正恼怒得七窍生烟。她对邻座的男子说：“那司机刚才辱

7、骂我!”男子说：“你过去让他滚去吧，我会帮你把这猴子看好的。”)笑话二：sherlock holmes and dr watson were going cing. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke watson up and said: watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see. watson replied: i see millions and m

8、illions of stars. holmes said: and what do you deduce from that? watson replied: well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, its quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.

9、 and holmes said: watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.(福尔摩斯和华生出去露营。他们在星空下支起帐篷然后入睡了。半夜时分，福尔摩斯叫醒华生，说：“华生，抬头看看天空，然后告诉我你看到了什么。”华生答道：“我看见了数以百万计的星星。”福尔摩斯说：“那你从这可以推断出什么结果呢?”华生又答：“哦，如果有几百万颗星星的话，即使里面只有少数的一些行星，那么就有可能存在像地球那样的行星。如果有像地球那样的行星，那上面就可能会有生命存在。”福尔摩斯：“华生你这个白痴，这意味着有人偷了俺们的帐篷。”笑话三：two

10、 hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. he doesnt seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. the other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. he gasps, my friend is dead! what can i do? the operator says calm down. i can help. first, lets make sure hes dead. t

11、here is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says ok, now what?(两个猎人在树林里，这时其中一人倒下地。这人似乎已经没有呼吸，眼睛也呆滞无神。另一个家伙拿出电话呼叫应急服务。他气喘吁吁地说：“我的朋友挂了!我该怎么办?”话务员说：“冷静点，我可以帮你。首先，要确认他死了。”对方在电话里安静下来，然后听到一声枪响。那厮拿回电话：“搞定了，现在该干嘛了?”)第三篇：英语笑话1.a boy swore to a girl: honey, do please marry me, othe

12、rwise ill diethe girl refused. sixty years later, the boy died.一男生向一女生发誓：亲爱的，请你一定要嫁给我，不然我会死掉的女孩拒绝了。六十年后，那个男生死掉了。2.teacher: johnny, why are you late for school every morning?johnny: every time i e to the corner, a guidepost（路牌，路标） says, school - go slow 老师：约翰，为什么你每天早上都迟到呢？约翰：每次我走到街角的时候，都有一块路牌写着：“学校-小

13、心慢行”3.teacher: tom, why are you so late for school tdoay? and where is your homework book? tom: sorry, miss. i met a robber on my way to school this morning.teachse: oh, my gosh! so terrible! did he robber anything from you?tom: he.he robbed my homework book.老师：汤姆，你今天为什么迟到这么久？还有你的家庭作业本呢？汤姆：对不起，老师，我今

14、天在上学的路上遇上了一个抢劫犯老师：噢，天哪！太糟糕了！他抢了你什么东西没有？汤姆：他他抢走了我的家庭作业本4.a male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. she noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. wow, she thought, this crab is really special. i cant let him get away. so they got married immediately.the next day she not

15、iced her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. what happened? she asked. you used to walk straight before we were married.oh, honey, he replied, i cant drink that much every day.一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走，而不是横着走。哇！她想，这只雄蟹可真特别，我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。第二天，她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走

16、路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了？”她问，“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。”“哦，宝贝，”他回答说，“我不可能每天都喝那么多many years after receiving my graduate degree, i returned to the state university of new york at binghamton as a faculty member. one day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. i said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years sinc