滚蛋吧小情绪.docx

1、滚蛋吧小情绪Screw you, small mood【TED】滚蛋吧小情绪Lecturer：Guy WinchI grew up with my identical twin.我和我的双胞胎哥哥一起长大。who was an incredibly loving brother. 他是个富有爱心的好兄弟。Now, one thing about being a twin is that it makes you an expert at spotting favoritism. 要知道，作为双胞胎，你很快就在意见事上成为专家。就是注意到偏爱。If his cookie was even sli

2、ghtly bigger than my cookie, I had questions. 比如他的饼干比我的大哪怕一点点，我就会质疑。And clearly, I wasnt starving. 当然，我也没有被饿着。When I became a psychologist, I began to notice favoritism of different kind, 我成为一个心理学家，我开始注意到另一种不同的偏爱，and that is how much more we value the body than we do the mind. 当那就是我们赋予我们的身体比精神更多的价值。

3、I spent nine years at university earning my doctorate in psychology, and I cant tell you how many people look at my business card and say, ”Oh, a psychologist, So not a real doctor,” as if it should say that on my card. 我花了九年时间获得了心理学博士学位，但不知道有多少人看了我的名片说：“哦，心理学家，原来不是真正的医生。”This favoritism we show the

4、 body over the mind, I see it everywhere. 这种对身体多于精神的偏爱随处可见。I recently was at a friends house, and their five-year-old was getting ready for bed. 我最近在朋友家，他们五岁的小孩准备上床睡觉He was standing on a stool by the sink brushing his teeth, when he slipped, and scratched his leg on the stool when he fell. 他站在小凳子上，在

5、水池边刷牙，然后他滑了下来，摔倒的时候划了他的腿。He cried for a minute, but then he got back up, got back on the stool, and reached out for a box of Band-Aids to put one on his cut. 他哭了一下然后就爬起来，站回小凳子上，拿了一个创可贴贴在他的伤口上，Now, this kid could barely tie his shoelaces, but he knew you have to cover a cut, so it doesnt become infec

6、ted, and you have to care for your teeth by brushing twice a day. 这孩子刚学会系鞋带，但他都知道要保护伤口以免感染，同时还要一天刷两次牙来保护牙齿。We all know how to maintain our physical health and how to practice dental hygiene, right? 我们都知道怎样保持身体的健康，还有怎样保持牙齿卫生，对不对？Weve known it since we were five years old.我们从五岁的时候就知道这点了。But what do we

7、 know about maintaining our psychological health? Well, nothing. 但是我们知道怎样保持精神上的健康吗？完全不知道。What do we teach our children about emotional hygiene? Nothing. 我们教给孩子们情绪保健吗？完全没有。How is it that we spend more time taking care of our teeth than we do our minds? 为什么我们花在牙齿的时间比花在精神上的时间还多呢？Why is it that our phys

8、ical health is so much more important to us than our psychological health? 为什么我们那么重视身体健康，远远多于心理健康呢？We sustain psychological injuries even more often than we do physical ones, injuries like failure or rejection or loneliness. 我们承受心理上的伤害比身体上的多的多，例如失败、被拒绝、孤独。And they can also get worse if we ignore the

9、m, and they can impact our lives in dramatic ways. 如果我们忽视它们，情况也会恶化，他们同样会给我们的生活带来重大的影响And yet, even though there are scientifically proven techniques we could use to treat these kinds of psychological injuries, 然而，虽然有科学实证的疗法，来帮助我们治疗这些心理上的伤， we dont. 我们却没有采取行动。Its doesnt even occur to us that we shoul

10、d.甚至我们都没有意识到我们应该采取行动。“Oh, youre feeling depressed? Just shake it off, its all in your head.” 哦，你抑郁了吗，别去想了，都在你脑袋里。Can you imagine saying that to somebody with a broken leg: ”Oh, just walk it off, its all in your leg.”你能想象对一个骨折了的人说这样的话吗？“走走就好了，都在你腿上呢。”It is time we closed the gap between our physical

11、and our psychological health.我们应该消除这种队身体和精神健康的区别对待。Its time we made them more equal, more like twins. 应该把两者对等起来，像双胞胎兄弟一样。Speaking of which, my brother is also a psychologist. 说到双胞胎，我弟弟也是个心理医生。So hes not a real doctor, either. 所以他也不是一个医生。We didnt study together, though.我们不是在一起上的学。In fact, the hardest

12、 thing Ive ever done in my life is move across the Atlantic to New York City to get my doctorate in psychology.事实上，我这辈子做过最难的事就是跨过大西洋搬到纽约，来读心理学的博士学位。We were apart then for the first time in our lives, 那是我们俩第一次分割两地。and the separation was brutal for both of us.这个分离对我俩来说都很残酷。But while he remained among

13、family and friends, I was alone in a new country. 当他和家人朋友在一起时，我却孤零零的在一个新的国度。We missed each other terribly我们都很想念对方but international phone calls were really expensive then and we could only afford to speak for five minutes a week.，但那个时候的国际长途真的非常贵，我们一周只打得起五分钟的电话。When our birthday rolled around, it was

14、the first we wouldnt be spending together. 当我们的生日到来的时候，那是第一个我们没能在一起过的生日。We decide to splurge, and that week we would talk for 10 minutes. 我们决定奢侈一下，我们聊上了十分钟。I spent the morning pacing around my room, waiting for him to calland waiting and waiting, but the phone didnt ring.那天早上我在房间里跺来踱去，等着我哥哥给我打来电话，我等

15、啊等但是电话就是不响。Given the time difference, I assumed, ”Ok, hes out with friends, he will call later.” 由于时差的关系，我就想，好吧，他是和朋友一起出去了，他晚点会打来的。There were no cellphones then. 那时候也没有手机。But he didnt. 但他始终没有打来。And I began to realize that after being away forever 10 months, he no longer missed me the way I missed hi

16、m.我开始意识到，在我离开十个月后，他不再像我想他一样想我了。I knew he would call in the morning, but that night was one of the saddest and longest nights of my life.我知道他早上会打来，但那一晚是我人生中最伤心最漫长的一晚。I woke up the next morning, 第二天一早醒来I glanced down at the phone, and I realize I had kicked it off the hook when pacing he day before.我瞅

17、了一眼电话，然后我意识到在我来回踱步的时候，我把电话线踢掉了。I stumbled out off the bed, 我从床上跳了起来。I put the phone back on the receiver, and it rang a second later, and it was my brother,我刚把电话插回接口一秒钟，电话就响了。 and boy, was he pissed. 是我哥哥，他可气坏了。It was the saddest and longest night of his life as well.那也是他一生中最伤心漫长的一晚。Now I tried to e

18、xplain what happened, but he said, ”I dont understand, if you saw I wasnt calling you, why didnt you just pick up the phone and call me?“我试图解释，但他说，“我不明白，如果我没有打给你，为什么你不打给我呢？”He was right, why didnt I call him? 他说的对，我为什么不打给他呢？I didnt have an answer then, but I do today, and its a simple one, lonelines

19、s.我当时没有回答他，但我现在明白了。非常简单的原因：孤独。Loneliness creates a deep psychological wound, one that distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking.孤独导致深重的心理创伤，扭曲我们的感知能力，剥夺我们的思考能力。It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do. 它使我们相信身边的人不再在乎我们，It makes us really afraid to reach

20、 out, 它使我们不敢与人联络，because why set yourself up for rejection and heartache when your heart is already aching more than you can stand?为什么给自己自取其辱呢，你的心痛还不够多吗？I was in the grips of real loneliness back then. 我那个时候被孤独紧紧包围着but I was surrounded by people all day, so it never occurred to me.但我总和别人在一起我自己都没有意识到

21、。But loneliness is defined purely subjectively.但孤独完全是从主观上定义的。It depends solely on whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected from those around you. 它完全取决于你是否觉得在情绪上或者是交往上和你周围的人相隔绝。And I did.我当时是这样的。There is a lot of research on loneliness, and all of it is horrifying.我们有很多孤独的研究都很可怕。Lonelin

22、ess wont just make you miserable, it will kill you. Im not kidding.孤独不仅让你觉得凄惨，还可能致死。我可不是开玩笑。Chronic loneliness increases your likely hood of an early death by 14 percent. 长期的孤独会让你增加早逝的可能性高达百分之十四之多。Loneliness causes high blood pressure, high cholesterol.孤独可能导致高血压高胆固醇。It even suppress the functioning

23、of your immune system, making you vulnerable to all kinds of illnesses and diseases.它甚至会影响你的免疫系统，使你容易患上各种疾病。In fact, scientists have concluded that taken together, 事实上，科学家已经得出结论，Chronic loneliness poses as significant a risk for your long term health longevity as cigarette smoking.长期的孤独对你的健康和长寿的负面影响

24、比抽烟还要糟。Now cigarette packs come with warnings saying,”This could kill you.”香烟的包装上还有“吸烟致命”的警句。But loneliness doesnt.可孤独没有。 And thats why its so important that we prioritize our psychological health, that we practice emotional hygiene. 这就是我们为什么要重视心理健康，要注意保持情绪健康。Because you cant treat a psychological w

25、ound 因为，你无法治愈心理上的创伤.if you dont even know youre injured.如果你都不知道自己受到了伤害的话。Loneliness isnt the only psychological wound that distorts our perceptions and misleads us.孤独不是唯一，可能扭曲及误导我们的心理创伤。 Failure does that as well.失败也有同样效果。I once visited a day care center, where I saw three toddlers play with identic

26、al plastic toys. 我曾访问过一个幼儿园，在那儿我观察了三个儿童，在玩完全一样的塑料玩具。You had to slide the red button, and a cute doggier would pop out. 你得把一个红色的钮滑开，然后一个可爱的小狗就会跳出来。One little girl tried pulling the purple button, then pushing it, and then she just sat back and looked at the box, with her lower lip trembling. 一个小女孩对紫色

27、的钮又拉又按，然后她就坐下来，瞧着那盒子，下嘴唇开始发颤。The little boy next to her watched this happen, then turned to his box and burst into tears without even touching it. 她旁边的一个小男孩看到这一幕，再看看他的盒子，都没动手就哇哇大哭了。Meanwhile, another little girl tried everything she could think of until she slid the red button, the cute doggier popp

28、ed out, and she squealed with delight. 与此同时，另一个小女孩试了各种方法直到她滑动了那个红钮，可爱的小狗跳了出来，她开心的叫了起来。So three toddlers with identical plastic toys, but with very different reactions to failure.同样的塑料玩具给了这三个幼儿，但他们对失败的反应截然不同。 The first two toddlers were perfectly capable of sliding a red button. 前两个小孩完全有能力滑动那个红钮。The

29、only thing that prevented them from succeeding was that their mind tricked them into believing they could not. 唯一阻止他们成功的因素就是他们被自己做不成的想法给骗了。Now, adults get tricked this way as well, all the time. 成年人也经常中这样的圈套。In fact, we all have a default set of feelings and beliefs that gets triggered whenever we e

30、ncounter frustrations and setbacks. 事实上，我们都有一个固定的思维感知模式，每当我们感到沮丧，受到挫折，我们便会进入这个模式。Are you aware of how your mind reacts to failure? You need to be. 你清不清楚你是怎么对应失败的？你应该清楚。Because if your mind tries to convince you youre incapable of something and you believe it, then like those two toddlers, youll begi

31、n to feel helpless and youll stop trying too soon,or you wont even try at all.因为如果你的头脑告诉你你不能做成什么事而你相信了的话，你就会像那前两个小孩似的，开始感到无助 然后你就很快放弃了，甚至都不去试一下。 And then youll be even more convinced you cant succeed.然后你就更加确信你成功不了。 You see, thats why so many people function below their actual potential.你看，这就是为什么那么多人都无法充分发挥他们的潜能。Because some where along the way, sometimes a single failure convinced them that they couldnt succeed, and they believed it.因为不一定在什么地方，有那么一次失败，让他们认定了自己不能成功。Once we become convinced of something, its very difficult to change our mind.我们一旦被某件事说服，往往就很难改变主意。I learned that