高考英语一本培养高分写作优课件精讲义优习题四档作文晋升五档四档作文晋升五档专练.docx
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高考英语一本培养高分写作优课件精讲义优习题四档作文晋升五档四档作文晋升五档专练
四档作文晋升五档专练
授课提示:
对应学生用书第74页
A
(2018·全国卷Ⅱ)你受学生会委托为校宣传栏“英语天地”写一则通知,请大家观看一部英文短片GrowingTogether,内容包括:
1.短片内容:
学校的发展;
2.放映时间、地点;
3.欢迎对短片提出意见。
注意:
1.词数100左右;
2.可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。
下面是一篇学生的四档作文,请将它提升为五档。
Boysandgirls,
MayIhaveyourattention,please?
Recently,Ihave【1】agoodnewstotellyouthatagoodmoviewillbeshowninourcampus.Welcometojoinusandenjoyit!
Here【2】issomerelevantdetailsaboutit.
Tobeginwith,thenameofthemovieisGrowingTogether,whichisaboutthedevelopmentofourbelovedschool.【3】Wethinkthemoviewillbemeaningfulandinteresting.Besides,pleasenotethatitwillbeshowninthelibraryfrom2:
00to4:
00intheafternoononJune9th.Everyoneofyouwillbewelcometotakepartinit,enjoyingthemovie,havingaheateddiscussionafterwardsandgivingyourowncomments.
Hopefully,youwouldmakeittoouractivity.Ihavetheconfidencethatyouwillhaveagreattimethen.
Students'Union
1.考生能根据试题要求组织材料进行写作。
短文分段合理,第一段表达通知;第二段主要通知时间、地点。
第三段提出几点建议。
本文得17分。
2.考生驾驭句子的能力不强,文中出现如下语言错误:
【1】句中的a应去掉。
【2】is应改为are。
【3】句可使用it作形式主语以提高语言的高级表达句式:
It_is_believed_that_the_movie_will_be_not_only_meaningful_but_also_interesting.
[五档作文]
Boysandgirls,
MayIhaveyourattention,please?
Recently,Ihavegoodnewstotellyouthatanoutstandingmoviewillbeshowninourcampus.Welcometojoinusandenjoyit!
Herearesomerelevantdetailsaboutit.
Tobeginwith,thenameofthemovieisGrowingTogether,whichisaboutthedevelopmentofourbelovedschool.Itisbelievedthatthemoviewillbenotonlymeaningfulbutalsointeresting.Besides,pleasenotethatitwillbeshowninthelibraryfrom2:
00to4:
00intheafternoononJune9th.What'smore,everyoneofyouwillbewelcometotakepartinit,enjoyingthemovie,havingaheateddiscussionafterwardsandgivingyourowncomments.
Hopefully,youwouldmakeittoouractivity.Iholdthefirmbeliefthatyouwillhaveagreattimethen.
Students'Union
B
(2016·全国卷Ⅱ)假定你是李华,你校摄影俱乐部(photographyclub)将举办国际中学生摄影展。
请给你的英国朋友Peter写封信,请他提供作品。
信的内容包括:
1.主题:
环境保护;
2.展览时间;
3.投稿邮箱:
intlphotoshow@。
注意:
1.词数100左右;
2.可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。
下面是一篇学生的四档作文,请将它提升为五档。
DearPeter,
Howareyoudoing?
AstheInternationalStudents'PhotographyShowisapproaching,I'dliketoinviteyoutotakepartinthisactivity.
【1】ThephotographyclubofmyschoolwillholdaphotoexhibitionforinternationalmiddleschoolstudentsfromJune18toJune30.I'veheardthatyouarequiteskilledintakingphotographs,soIhopeyoucanoffersomephotosforthisexhibition.【2】Thethemeofthisshowisaboutenvironmentalprotection.【3】Ifyoucanjoininthisactivity,Ibelieveyoumustwinfirstprize.Youcansendyourworkstointlphotoshow@.
Lookingforwardtoyourearlyreply.
Yours,
LiHua
1.短文基本涵盖了全部的写作要点。
本文得16分。
2.考生对时态的把握比较准确,短文以一般现在时为主,穿插使用一般将来时,偶尔使用现在完成时。
3.考生驾驭句子的能力比较强,文中语法错误较少。
【2】中介词about多余,应去掉。
4.有些句子没有语法错误,但是语言不太地道。
如【1】句,改为被动句,可以提升语言表达效果:
The_photo_exhibition_for_international_middle_school__students_will_be_held_in_my_school_from_June_18_to_June_30.
5.【3】句明显带有汉语表达的痕迹,可改为:
If_you_join_in_this_activity,_I_believe_you_will_probably_win_first_prize./If_you_join_in_this_activity,_you_can_put_your_talent_into_good_use.
[五档作文]
DearPeter,
Howareyougettingalong?
I'mwritingtoinviteyoutojoinintheInternationalStudents'PhotographyShowheldbythephotographyclubofourschool.
Asyourbestfriend,Iknowyouareskilledattakingphotos.NowtheInternationalStudents'PhotographyShowisachanceforyoutodisplayyourtalent.Thethemeisenvironmentalprotection,aimingtocallonmorepeopletodowhattheycantoprotecttheenvironment.Theshowwilllastfrom18Juneto30June.
Ifyouwanttojoinintheactivity,pleasesendyourphotostointlphotoshow@beforeMay31.Don'thesitatetoaskmeforhelpifyouhaveanyquestions.
Lookingforwardtoyourearlyreply.
Yours,
LiHua
C
(2016·全国卷Ⅰ)假定你是李华,暑假想去一家外资公司兼职,已写好申请书和个人简历(resume)。
给外教MsJenkins写信,请她帮你修改所附材料的文字和格式(format)。
注意:
1.词数100左右;
2.可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。
下面是一篇学生的四档作文,请将它提升为五档。
DearMsJenkins,
Howisitgoing?
Thestudentsreallymissyouverymuch.【1】Everyoneofusexceptstoseeyousoon.Thesedays,Iwrotesomeplansaboutsummervacationandmyarrangements.Iwanttodoaparttimejobinaforeigncompanyinmycity.Whatdoyouthinkofmyplan?
Ihavewrittenanapplicationandpersonalresume.【2】Couldyouhelpmecorrectsomethingwrong?
【3】Ireallywanttogetthisjob,sopleasehelpmecorrecttheunsuitablewordsandformat.Ihaveputitintheletter.
Thanksforyourhelp.I'mlookingforwardtoyourreply.
Yours,
LiHua
1.这封书信分段合理,正文由三段组成。
但写作要点不完整。
在第二段的最后,应告诉外教,希望她在什么时间修改好发给自己。
本文得16分。
2.整体上考生能够使用正确的句子表达思想,但文中存在少量语法错误。
【1】句中的Everyone错误,应写为:
Everyone;由于紧张或粗心,考生误将expects写成excepts。
【2】句为疑问句。
应把something改为anything。
3.考生的语言基本功不扎实,语言表达生硬牵强:
如【3】句应改为:
I_really_want_to_get__this_job,_so_please_help_me_correct_any_mistakes_you_find_in_my_application_and_check_my_format.
[五档作文]
DearMsJenkins,
Howiseverythinggoingthesedays?
I'mwritingtoseekhelpfromyou.
Thesummervacationisaroundthecorner,soIplantotakeaparttimejobinaforeigncompanyduringmytwomonthholiday.Asyouknow,workingexperienceisofvitalimportancewhenIgraduatefromcollege.ThereforeI'dliketogainsomeworkingexperiencebydoingtheparttimejob.Besides,IcanearnsomepocketmoneytobuywhatIneed.
Inordertoapplyforthejob,Ihavewrittenmyapplicationandpersonalresume.Pleasepolishmyapplicationandchecktheformatofmyresumewhenitisconvenientforyou.IwouldappreciateitifyousendittomebyFriday.
Lookingforwardtoyourearlyreply.
Yours,
LiHua
D
(2015·全国卷Ⅰ)假定你是李华,你校英文报“外国文化”栏目拟刊登介绍美国节日风俗和中学生生活的短文。
请给美国朋友彼得写信约稿,要点如下:
1.栏目介绍;
2.稿件内容;
3.稿件长度:
约400词;
4.交稿日期:
6月28日前。
注意:
1.词数100左右;
2.可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯;
3.开头语已为你写好。
DearPeter,
I'dliketoaskyoutowriteanarticleforourschool'sEnglishnewspaper.
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Yours,
LiHua
下面是一篇学生的四档作文,请将它提升为五档。
Dear_Peter,
I'd_like_to_ask_you_to_write_an_article_for_our_school's_English_newspaper.
【1】Thenewcolumn“ForeignCulture”,whichaimingtointroducewesternculturestothestudents,needsarticlesaboutAmericanholidaycustomsandthelifeabouthighschoolstudents.
【2】AsfarasI'mconcerned,asanativespeaker,itiseasyforyoutointroducethecustomandcultureofyourcountrytothereaders.【3】Justtellushowyouspendyourtraditionalholidaysandwhatyouusuallydoatschool.【4】Onethingyoushouldrememberisthatyoushouldwriteyourarticlewithinapproximately400wordsandsendittomeuntilJune28th.
Lookingforwardtoyourearlyreply.
Yours,_
Li_Hua
1.短文涵盖了写作要求的四个要点。
基本上完成了写作任务。
文中多处使用高级词汇和较为复杂的表达方法,提升了短文的档次,为短文增加了亮点。
如:
approximately,aimingtodo,asfarasI'mconcerned。
本文得18分。
2.由于考生的语言功底不够扎实,短文中有几处语言表达不够地道,具体如下:
【1】句中的关系代词which多余,应去掉;或在which后加is,构成一个非限制性定语从句。
【2】句中的introduce与汉语中的“介绍”意思不完全相同。
本句可改为:
As_far_as_I'm_concerned,_as_a_native_speaker,__you_have_no_difficulty_letting_us_know_about_the_custom_and_culture_of_your_country,which_helps_us_broaden_our_horizons.这样更地道,表达更清楚。
【3】句显得较为口语化,且spendyourtraditionalholidays表达不准确,应把spend改为celebrate。
【4】句中的until一词误用,应改为before。
且remember一词太常见,如果改为短语bear/keepinmind,可为短文增加亮点。
[五档作文]
Dear_Peter,_
I'd_like_to_ask_you_to_write_an_article_for_our_school's_English_newspaper.
Theschoolnewspaperhasstartedacolumn“ForeignCulture”,designedtointroduceAmericancustomsandtheschoollifeofthestudents.Ibelievethisisawonderfulopportunityforyoutoshareyourownexperience.Thesubjectsareaboutwesternfestivalsandcustoms,andyoucanalsowriteaboutthestudents'dailylife.Thearticleshouldbelimitedto400wordsorso.Whatyoushouldkeepinmindisthatyouhavetosubmityourarticlebefore28th,June.
Ifyouwouldliketomakecontributionsforournewspaper,pleasesendmeyourarticlebeforethedeadline.
Lookingforwardtoyourreply.
Yours,_
Li_Hua
E
假如你叫李华,是一名外语特色高中的学生。
针对你市雾霾频发的现象,你校学生会决定由你代表学生会向全校师生发出倡议:
绿色出行,骑车上学。
请根据下面的写作提纲写一个英语倡议书。
内容包括:
1.保护环境的必要性;
2.列举骑车上学的好处;
3.向同学们发出呼吁。
注意:
词数100左右。
下面是一篇学生的四档作文,请将它提升为五档。
ALetterofAppeal
Dearfellowstudents,
Wearewritingtocallonyoutopayattentiontothehazyweather,whichfrequentlyhitsourcity,doingharmtothecitizens'health.
【1】Itiscommonlyacknowledgedthatweshouldtakeeffectivemeasurestomaketheblueskyreturn.Ridingabicycletoschoolcanhelptoimprovethequalityofair.【2】Ridingabicycleisalsobeneficialourhealth.Besides,wecanreducetrafficjamsinthestreet.Let'srideourbicyclestomakeourcityabetterplace!
Evenasmallactwillmakeadifference.【3】Nowlet'sjointogetherto“gogreen”withabicycle.Ifwemakeasmallchangeinourwayoflife,wecanseetheblueskyagain!
【4】Takeaction!
Students'Union
1.本文思路清晰,结构完整。
正文第一段陈述了雾霾频发带来的危害,第二段陈述发出倡议的原因,并列出了骑自行车的好处,最后向同学们发出倡议。
短文涵盖了大部分写作要点,基本上完成了写作任务。
本文可得16分。
2.文中有几处语言问题需要修改:
【1】中的tomaketheblueskyreturn属于汉语式表达。
本句可改为:
It_is_commonly_acknowledged_that_we_should_take_effective_measures_so_that_we_can_see_a_blue_sky_again.【2】中beneficial为形容词,bebeneficialto=begoodfor对……有好处,此处缺少介词to。
本句也可改为:
Ridingabicycleisalsoagoodwaytobuildusup.提升写作的档次。
【3】中的jointogether和withabicycle用词不准确。
此句可改为:
Let's_work_together/_make_joint_efforts_to_“go_green”_by_riding_to_school!
【4】可改为:
Let'stakeactionnow!
这样更有鼓动性。
[五档作文]
ALetterofAppeal
Dearfellowstudents,
Asthehazyweatherfrequentlyhitsourcity,moreandmorepeopleareconcernedaboutairpollution.Nowweareappealingtoyoutoridetoschoolasa