Application Essay 写作 第五课 Writing Introductions.docx

Application Essay 写作 第五课 Writing Introductions.docx

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ApplicationEssay写作第五课WritingIntroductions

ApplicationEssay写作第五课WritingIntroductions

WritingIntroductions

Theintroductionisthefirstsentenceofyouressayanditplaysthedualroleofsettingthethemeofyouressayandengagingthereader.Theintroductionshouldnotbeoverlyformal.Youdonotwantanadmissionsofficertostartreadingyouressayandthink,"herewegoagain."Althoughadmissionsofficerswilltrytogivetheentireessayafairreading,theyareonlyhuman--ifyoulosethemafterthefirstsentence,therestofyouressaywillnotgettheattentionitdeserves.

GeneralTips

Don’tSayTooMuch.Justtellthestory!

Yourintroductionshouldnotbesocomplexandsolengthythatitlosesthereaderbeforetheyevenstart.Youhavetherestoftheessaytosaywhatyouwant.There’snoneedtopackitallintothefirstsentence.Thisleadstothenexttip…

Don'tStartYourEssaywithaSummary.Ifyousummarize,theadmissionsofficerdoesnotneedtoreadtherestofyouressay.Youwanttostartyouressaywithsomethingthatmakesthereaderwanttoreaduntiltheveryend.Onceyouhavedrawnthereaderinthroughthefirstonetothreesentences,thelastsentenceinyourintroductoryparagraphshouldexplainclearlyandbrieflywhatthepointofthewholeessayis.Thatis,whyyouareusingthisperson,place,orthing.Whatdoesitsayaboutyou?

CreateMysteryorIntrigueinyourIntroduction.Itisnotnecessaryorrecommendedthatyourfirstsentencegiveawaythesubjectmatter.Raisequestionsinthemindsoftheadmissionsofficerstoforcethemtoreadon.Appealtotheirsensesandemotionstomakethemrelatetoyoursubjectmatter.

TypesofIntroductions

Pleaseselectalinkbelowforexamplesanddescriptionsofvariousintroductions.

∙AcademicIntroduction

∙CreativeIntroduction

∙ActionIntroduction

∙DialogueIntroduction

∙OverarchingSocietalStatements

∙PersonalIntroduction

∙QuestionIntroduction

∙QuotationIntroduction

Note:

ThebelowessayswerenoteditedbyEssayEdgeEditors.Theyappearastheywereinitiallyreviewedbyadmissionsofficers.

AcademicIntroduction:

Thisisthetypeofintroductionyouwoulduseforastandardizedtestorahistorypaper.Atypicalstandardintroductionanswersoneormoreofthesixbasicquestions:

who,what,when,where,why,andhow.Itgivesthereaderanideaofwhattoexpect.Youshouldtrytostayawayfromsimplyrestatingthequestionunlessyouarelimitedbyawordcountandneedtogettothepointquickly.Yourbasicacademicintroductionorthesisstatementisbestusedasthefollow-upsentencetooneofthemorecreativeintroductionsdescribedbelow.

Examples:

OneofthegreatestchallengesI'vehadtoovercomewasmovingfromIrantotheUnitedStates.IranwasindeeppoliticalturmoilwhenIleft,asitistoday.

Says:

Thisintroductionisclearandtothepoint,andwillprepareyourreaderfortheideasyouwanttodiscuss.However,itisratherunexcitingandwillnotimmediatelyengageyourreader.Asmentioned,youshouldtrytoprefaceitwithamorecreativestatement.Inaddition,itmakesonetypicalerror.Oneshouldusuallyavoidusingcontractionsinaformalessay,forexample,"I’ve."

Throughallofmyaccomplishmentsanddisappointments,IhavealwaysbeenespeciallyproudofthededicationandfervorIpossessformypersonalbeliefsandvalues.

Says:

Thisisaveryeffectiveintroductiontoanessayaboutyourpersonality.Mentioningprideisagoodwaytoindicatehowimportantyourbeliefsandvaluesaretoyou.Inasentencelikethis,however,itwouldbebettertouse"Throughout"ratherthan"Through.""Throughout"betterexpressesthewidespread,expansivetoneyouwanttogivethissentence.

CreativeIntroduction:

Acreativeintroductioncatchesthereaderoff-guardwithanopeningstatementthatleavesthereadersmilingorwonderingwhattherestoftheessaycontains.

Examples:

Imagineyourselfafreshmaninhighschool,beginningyourindependence.Astheoldestchild,Iwasthefirsttobeginexploringtheworldsofdating,extra-curricularclubsandupperclassmen.However,oneafternoonmyparentssatmytwosistersandmedown.Theysaid…

Says:

Thepowerofthisintroductionisthatitplacesthereaderinyourshoes,makinghimorhermoreinterestedinwhattakesplaceintherestoftheessay.Itsmainmistakeisthatitsinformalitygivestheessayaslightlyhokeyorcornytone.Althoughagreaterdegreeofinformalityisallowedinacreativeessay,youmustbecarefulnottotakeittoofar.

Iamadynamicfigure,oftenseenscalingwallsandcrushingice.Ihavebeenknowntoremodeltrainstationsonmylunchbreaks,makingthemmoreefficientintheareaofheatretention.ItranslateethnicslursforCubanrefugees,Iwriteaward-winningoperas,Imanagetimeefficiently.Occasionally,Itreadwaterforthreedaysinarow.

Says:

Thisintroductionisbothcreativeandeffective.Itamusesthereaderbylistingabizarreandprobablyfictitioussetofachievements,thusdemonstratingthewriter’simagination（andpokingfunattheadmissionsprocess）.Atthesametime,itslighttoneavoidssoundingtooobnoxious.Asanote,youshouldrememberthatgooduseofsemicolonswillimpressyourreader:

"ItranslateethnicslursforCubanrefugees;Iwriteaward-winningoperas;Imanagetimeefficiently."

ActionIntroduction:

AnActionIntroductiontakesthereaderintothemiddleofanactionsequence.Bynotbuildinguptothestory,itforcesthereadertoreadontofindoutnotonlythesignificanceofthismomentintime,butwhatleduptoandfollowedit.Itisperfectforshortessayswherespacemustbeconservedorfornarrativeessaysthatbeginwithastory.

Examples:

IpromisedGodIwouldeatallmypeas,butHedidn’tcare.Aconfusedeleven-year-oldgirl,Isatandlistenedtomyfatherpace.Witheachheavystepechoingloudlythroughoutthesilenthouse,myfamily’sanxietyandanticipationmountedwhileawaitingnewsofmygrandfather'shealth.Myheartracing,Iwatchedtheclock,amazedthattimecouldcrawlsoslowly.Finally,thetelephoneinterruptedthehouse’ssolemnsilence.Iheardmyfatherrepeatingthewords"yes,yes,ofcourse."Hethenhungupthereceiverandannouncedmygrandfather'sdeathandcancer'svictory.

Says:

Thisisthekindofintroductionthatwillimmediatelyintrigueyourreaderbecauseitbeginswithaveryunusualdeclaration.TheimageofalittlegirleatingpeasandhopingtoacquireGod’shelpischarmingwhilehintingatthesolemnityofthesituationdescribed.

Surroundedbythousandsofstars,completesilence,andspectacularmountains,IstoodatopNewHampshire'sPresidentialRange,awestruckbynature'sbeauty.Immediately,IrealizedthatImustdedicatemylifetounderstandingthecausesoftheuniverse'sbeauty.

Says:

Thefirsttenwordsofthisessaywillcatchyourreader’sattention,mainlybecausetheycreateamentalimageofperfectnaturalbeauty.Notethatyoushouldtrytoavoidrepeatingkeywords.Inthisinstance,itwouldbeeasytoavoidrepeatingtheword"beauty."Youcouldsimplyuse"magnificence"or"loveliness"instead.

DialogueIntroduction:

Liketheactionintroduction,thedialogueintroductionbringsthereaderdirectlyintotheaction,onlythistimeintheformofdialogue.Ifyouarewritingaboutaninfluentialfigureinyourlife,youcanmentionaquotefromthispersonthatexemplifiestheimportancethatheorshehadonyourlife.

Examples:

"YoumuststopseeingthatRussiangirl,"IorderedmybrotherwhenhereturnedhomelastsummerfromtheUniversityofIndianapolis.Echoingtheprejudiced,ignorantsentimentthatIhadgrownupwith,IbelieveditwaswrongtobecomeseriouslyinvolvedwithapersonwhodoesnotfollowtheHindureligionandisnotamemberoftheIndianrace.

Says:

Multiculturalawarenessisakeyaspectoffittinginwellatauniversity,andadmissionsofficersareveryawareofthis.Thus,itisanexcellentideatomentionhowyouexpandedyourculturalsensitivity.Beginningtheessaybyadmittingthatyouwereoncelesstolerantisacompellingwaytodemonstratejusthowmuchyouhavegrownasaperson.

Onthevergeoflosingconsciousness,Iaskedmyself:

"WhyamIdoingthis?

"WhywasIpunishingmybody?

Ihadnoanswer;mymindblankedoutfromexhaustionandterror.Ihadnotimetosecond-guessmyselfwithaterrifyingmanleaningovermyshoulderyelling:

"Youcanbreaksixminutes!

"Asflecksofspitflewfromhismouthandlandedonthehandlebaroftheergometer,IlongedtobefinishedwithmyfirstSaturdayrowingpracticeandmyfirstfifteen-hundred-meter"ergtest."

Says:

Thepowerofthisintroductioncomesfromitsattentiontodetail.Thequestion"WhyamIdoingthis?

"gainssupportfromeveryhorribledetail:

theexhaustion,theterrifyingman,andthespecksofspitflyingfromhismouth!

Withsuchstrongsupportingevidence,thequotationtakesonalifeofitsown.Yourreaderwillfindhimselfthinking,"Whywouldanyonedothat?

I’dliketofindout…"

OverarchingSocietalStatements:

Ratherthanusingatraditionalthesisstatementyoucanputforthasocietalobservationthattiesintothethemeofyouressay.Thiscanbeveryeffectiveifthestatementisuniqueandgivesaglimpseintohowyouviewtheworld.Itcanbedetrimentalifyourstatementisdebatableorunclear.Makesurethatifyouusethisformofintroductionthatnoadmissionsofficewilltakeoffensetoit.

Examples:

Highschoolisastrangetime.Afterthreeyearsoftryingtodevelopanidentityandfriendsinmiddleschool,studentsareexpectedtomatureimmediatelyonthefirstdayofninthgrade.

温馨提示：

专业的事情，交给专业的机构来完成。

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