daily reading material 1708242.docx

daily reading material 1708242.docx

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4WaysYouNeedtoKnowtoGettheGoAhead!

Inourbook Lifestorming, AlanWeissandIdiscussthatoneofthemostimportantelementsinlife’sjourneyisgrantingourselvespermission.It’ssomethingthatmanyofusdonotdoanditcansignificantlyholdusbackfromsuccessandhappinessbothpersonalandprofessional.

We’vefoundthatwhenitcomestogettingthegoahead,therearefourpositionsthatmostofuswilltake.

1.Thefirstisyouassumeyouneverhavepermission.Youdon’tcrossagainstthelightevenwhenyoucanseethere’snotrafficforamile.Youdon’tcontradictabuyer,nomatterhowegregioustheerror.Youwouldneveraskadeskclerkforanupgrade,orduckundertheendlessropestomakequickerprogresstowardtheentrance.Youneverpushback.Youdonot,ever,breakfromprecedent.Youhavenoeditor,onlyago/nogochoice,whichisusuallyshutdown.

2.Thesecondpositionthatwemighttakeistoformallyask.Youaskyourpartnerifit’sokaytowriteacheckforsomethingfromyourjointaccount.Youaskaclientifyoucantalktopeopleasyoutravelthroughthesite.Youraiseyourhandandneverjustaskaquestion.Youwaittoseeifsomeoneelsedoeswhatyouwanttodofirst,asaprecedent.Youconstantlyaskotherstoapproveyourapproach,proposal,article,andbreakfastchoice.

3.Thirdyoumayformallygrantyourselfpermission.Youreviewthesituationandaffirmforyourselfthatit’sokaytoknockandentertheroom.Yousaytoyourself,“Well,theywouldn’thaveofferediftheydidn’twantmetouseit.”Youcompareyourworktootherstoensurethatyou’reontherighttrack.Youjustifyandvalidateinternallywhyit’sokaytoproceed.Youmightnotbreaknewground,butyoutakeadvantageofgroundalreadybrokenbyothers.Youself-edit.

4.And,finally,thefourthpositionisthatyousimplyassumepermission.Withtherightethicalbearing,youdon’tcommitantisocialbehavior,suchascuttingaline,butyougototheelitemembers’hotelloungeandassumeyou’reentitledtobecauseyouhavealargesuite.Youtellyourclientwhen,basedonyourcriteria,there’sbeenabaddecision.Youaskaquestionwithoutaskingtobeacknowledgedfirst.Yourealizethatsomerulesandevenlawsaresituationalandyouusegoodjudgmenttoguideyourbehaviors.Youhaveneitheranexternalnoraninternaleditor.

Wethinkthattheidealsettingformostpeopleistotakepositionsthreeand/orfour.Basedonthreedecadesofworkingwithallkindsofpeopleacrossmanyindustries,weknowhowcommonitistooperatebetweenthesecondandthirdpositions,however,thehealthiestpeople,andthosemostincontroloftheirjourney,operatebetweenpositionsthreeandfour.Theyknowattimestheydorequirepermission（Ican’tstealmysister’scar）andattimestheycansimplyact（She’sawayatschoolandthecarneedstobedriven）.

Inlife,themostimportantpersonthatyouhavetogetpermissionfromisyourself.Itmaynotalwaysseemthisway,butinthegrandscheme,thisisverytrue.Ifyouwanttolearnmoreaboutgrantingyourselfpermission,readourbook, Lifestorming:

CreatingMeaningandAchievementinYourCareerandLife!

Triggersisa#1NewYorkTimesandWallStreetJournalbest-seller!

Orderitat Amazon.See TheMarshallGoldsmithThinkers50VideoBlog formoreofthisvideoseries.

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2MistakesLeadersNeverMakeWhenTheyDisagree!

InthisfinalpartofmyinterviewwithJudithGlaser,ConversationalIntelligence®,We-centricLeadership,Neuro-InnovationexpertandMarshallGoldsmith100Coachwinner,wetalkabouttwomistakesthatdecisionmakersavoidwhentheydisagreewiththeirdirectreports,whichultimatelyleadstobetterworkingrelationshipsandgreatersuccessfortheorganization.Belowisashortexcerptfromourinterview!

JG:

Marshall,youhavegreatadviceaboutsomeofthemostdifficultsituations.I'dlovetoyourthoughtsonhowtohandledisagreementswhenyouaretheultimatedecision-maker?

MG:

Yearsago,PeterDruckertaughtmethat“Everydecisioninlifeismadebythepersonwhohasthepowertomakethedecision.Makepeacewiththat.”Thisisgreatadvice.Howdoesitapplyifyouarethedecision-maker?

Howdoyoudisagreewithyourdirectreportsandrequestthemtofollowyourdecisionwithoutgettingdefensive,angry,orotherwisecausingdamagetotheworkingrelationship?

Therearetwomistakesthatgreatleadersnevermakewhentheydisagree. 

1.Notlistening

2.Pointoutwhyothersarewrongandtheyareright

Let’stakethefollowingscenariotoillustratethispoint.Let'simagineIwantyoutodoXandyouwanttodoY.Youexplainyourreasoningtome.Ilisten.Irepeatwhatyouhavesaidtomakesureweareinagreement.Inthisway,Iavoidthemistakeofnotlistening.

Now,let’ssayIdonotagreewithyou.TheworstthingIcandoispointoutwhyIamrightandyouarewrong.Thisismistakenumbertwo.

Afarbetterapproachistosaysomethinglike,“Directreport,IwantyoutodoXforthefollowingreasons.YouhavesaidyouwanttodoY.I'velistenedtoyou.I'verepeatedwhatyousaidandIseethelogicofit.Inthiscase,IstillwantyoutodoXforthefollowingreasons.”

PerhapsmydirectreportstilldisagreesandwantstodoX.Icansay,“Iunderstand.You’reasmartpersonandIrespectyou.Inthiscase,thisismydecisiontomakeandwewillgowithY.”

Perhapsyoucomebackagainandsay,Marshall,“Ithinkyou'rewrong.”YouknowwhatIcansay?

“Imightbewrong.Andtobehonest,ifI'mnotwrongonthis,I'mcertainlygoingtobewrongsometime.Neitherofushasacrystalball.We'rebothguessingatwhat'sgoingtohappeninthefuture.Youhaveoneguess;Ihaveadifferentguess.I'mnotsayingIamrightoryouarewrong.Irespectyou.You'vemadeyourpoint.Iunderstandit.I'veexplaineditbacktoyou.Istillwantyoutodothisforthefollowingreasons.Pleasegiveityourbestshot.Iwouldgreatlyappreciateit.Thankyou!

”

Thisismybestadvicetoleadersanddecisionmakerswhentheyneedtoaddressdisagreementsintheworkplace.Ihopethisadviceishelpfultoyou!

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3WaystoMakeaHugeImpactatWork!

InarecentinterviewwithhighlyrespectedConversationalIntelligence®,We-centricLeadership,Neuro-InnovationexpertandMarshallGoldsmith100Coachwinner,JudithGlaser,JudithaskedmetosharetheadvicePeterDrucker（FatherofModernManagement）gavemeabouthowtoimpactdecisionmakers.You’llfindthisgreatadviceintheshortexcerptfromourinterviewbelow!

JG:

Marshall,youhadmanyopportunitiestospendtimewithPeterDrucker.Pleasesharewithushisadvicetoyouaboutimpactingdecisions.

MG:

Petertaughtmethreeverythingsabouthowtoimpactdecisionmakersandthusmakeahugeimpactatwork.

First,hetaughtmethatourmissioninlifeistomakeapositivedifference.Itisnottoprovehowsmartweareorhowrightweare.Wegetsolostinprovinghowsmartandhowrightwearethatweforgetthat’snotwhatwe’reherefor.

ThesecondthingthatPetertaughtmeaboutmakingahugeimpactatworkisthateverydecisioninlifeismadebythepersonwhohasthepowertomakethedecision.Makepeacewiththat.Decisionsarenotnecessarilymadebythebestperson,thesmartestperson,ortherightperson.

Thenhesaid,IfIneedtoimpactadecision-makerandtheyhavethepowertomakeapositivedifference,theonewordIshouldusetodescribethemis“customer.”

I’veputthisalltogetherinashortphrasethatIteachtoallofmyclients.“Thebestleadersfocusonmakingapositivedifferenceandsellingtheirideastodecisionmakers,notonprovinghowsmartorhowrighttheyare.”

Inleadership,youneedtothinklikeagreatsalesperson.Sellwhatyoucansell.Selltotheirneeds;don’tselltoyourownneeds.Don’tlookforlogic,rationality,orsanity,becausedecisionsaremadebypower.Whoeverhasthepowertomakethedecisionmakesit.Simplyput,sellwhatyoucansell.Changewhatyoucanchange.Makepeacewithwhatyoucannotsellandmakepeacewithwhatyoucannotchange.Focusyourtimeandenergyinimpactingdecisionswhereyoucanmakeadifference.Don’twasteyourlifeworryingaboutdecisionswhereyou’renotreallygoingtomakeadifferenceanyway.

JG:

Thankyou!

Thisisgreatadvice!

JoinmeTuesdayandWednesdayformyfreewebinarseriesfortheMarshallGoldsmith100Coachesapplicants.RSVP:

 WhatGotYouHere August8 at9amEDTandTriggers August9 at9amEDT.Everyoneiswelcometojoin!

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HowDouble-ClickingCanMakeYouaBetterLeader!

Recently,IinterviewedhighlyrespectedConversationalIntelligence®,We-centricLeadership,Neuro-InnovationexpertandMarshallGoldsmith100Coachwinner,JudithGlaser.Wetalkedaboutmanydifferentleadershiptopicsrelatingtoconversationalintelligence,includingJudith’sleadershiptoolcalledtheDouble-Click.Belowisashortexcerptfromourinterviewaboutthiswonderfultoolthatwillhelpanyleaderorteambecomemoresuccessful!

MG:

Judith,onephraseI'dneverheardfromanyoneelsewithregardstocommunicationandleadershipis“double-clicking”.Whatisthisandhowcanleadersandteamsbenefitbyunderstandingandusingthistoolthemselves?

JG:

Double-clickingisoneofourfivetopconversationalessentials.IcameupwiththisconceptwhenInoticedwhathappenedwhenpeopleworkingontheircomputersdouble-clickedonafolder.Whentheydouble-clicked,allofthesethingswereinsideitthattheyhadn’tseenbeforeordidn’trememberthey’dsaved.Iwondered,“WhatifIteachleaderstofollowupwithquestions（double-click）toconfirmunderstanding?

”Thisiscrucialbecauseoftenweassumeeveryonehasthesameunderstandi