英语上海高三英语一模作文范文汇编.docx
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英语上海高三英语一模作文范文汇编
【关键字】英语
2018年高三一模作文汇编
1.黄浦区
2017年已接近尾声，还记得年初你为自己定下的小目标吗？
不知你是否实现了你的小目标？
发一个微信朋友圈来回顾一下吧（文中请不要出现真实的校名人名）。
你的朋友圈文字内容需包括：
1.你的2017年度小目标；
2.你为实现年度小目标所作的努力；
3.你实现（或没有实现）年度小目标的经验总结。
范文：
Mynewyear’sresolutionfor2017wasthatIshouldbeabletocommunicatewithforeignpeopleinEnglish.Toachievethisgoal,IhadaskedmyEnglishteacherforhelp.Accordingtohersuggestions,Imadeupaplan.
Firstly,IstartedwithsimplyreadingEnglisharticlesandfoundmanypronunciationerrorsinmyreadingafterlisteningtothevideotapeofitsrecording.Then,Itriedtolearnphoneticsandpracticeonesyllableafteranotheragainandagain.Istartedwithasingleword,thenaphrase,asentence,aparagraphandfinallythewholepassage.After3-monthpractice,Iwasabletoreadanarticlefluentlywithoutmakinganymistakesinpronunciation.Ifelthappy.Next,Ipracticedmylistening.Bylisteningtoapassagefourtimes,Irequiredmyselftotakeitdownwithoutspellingerrorsoranyinformationblank.Lastbutnotleast,IinstalledanappcalledShanbeiOralEnglishonmyphonetopracticebothmylisteningandspeaking.It’slikehavingconversationswitharobot.Ihadtounderstandwhatitsaidtomeandansweritsquestionsaccordingly.Afterpracticingforalmost8months,IhadmyfirsttalkingsessionwithanAmericanteacherinourschool.Iwasproudofmyself.
WhatIhavelearntfromthisexperienceissomethingasasayinggoes:
nopainnogain.Thoughtheprocessoflearningcouldbedullandtiring,it’sworthalltheeffortsafterIachievedmygoal.EvenifIdidn’t,it’sstillavaluablepartofmylife.
阅卷作文
8+8+4=20
Thewonderfulyearof2017isdrawingtoanend.IrememberthatIsetanannualgoaltokeepfitatthebeginningof2017,sincestayinghealthyiscrucialtoensuringmystudy,thusbetterpreparemyselfforGaokao.
Toachievemygoalofkeepingfit,herearesomeeffortsI’vetakenthroughouttheyear.Ontheveryfirstdayof2017,IdownloadedafitnessappcalledKeep.Followingthefitnessinstructionstheappoffered,IexercisedeveryothernightbeforeIgotobed.Also,IdidsomeresearchintothedailynutritionIneedinordertostayhealthybothphysicallyandmentally,afterwhichIdevisedamoderatedietingplan.Apartfromtheabove,I’veinvitedfamilymembersandfriendstojoinmesothatwecanencourageeachotherandexchangefitnessexperience.
Sofar,therecordshownonmyfitnessappshowsthatI’vedonewellthisyear,reachingarecordhighof200trainingtimesintotal.AlthoughattimesIfeltlikegivingupbecauseoftoomuchstudypressureandlimitedtime,I’mgladIhavestucktomyplan.ItseemstomethatanythingispossibleifIthrowinallofmyenergyandpassion,andmostofall,perseverance.Somerulesapplytostudy.SoIhopeIwillkeepsuchpassionandstrengthtodomybestinthecoming2018.（237words）
点评：
1．文本结构段落清晰，符合作文题目要求。
1）第一段明确告知自己的年度小目标是什么；
2）第二段有总起句，段落中有清晰的标记词（如also,apartfrom）告知读者自己所做的努力，且努力的行为都非常具体。
3）第三段对经验的总结可以再和第二段的三个努力匹配些，a.借助科技的力量（app）；b.借助科学的力量（didresearchintothedailynutrition）;c.组团抗击惰性。
2．在语言表达能力比较强的基础上，可以考虑文字的进一步精炼。
是否有“废话”？
字数建议不超过200（此学生语言能力强，中等学生160左右即可）。
精练而准确的表达也是思维和表达功力的体现。
7+8+4=19
Greetingfromtheendof2017!
It’snowthetimetoconcludeouryearlygoalsagain.Onthenewyear’seve,Isetuptwogoalsfortheyear:
togetterbettergradesandtoloseweightandI’mproudtoannouncethatI’veaccomplishedthefirstone.
Torealizethegoals,muchefforthasbeenputinthroughouttheyear.Firstofall,Ichangedmyattitudestowardsvarioussubjects.I’vespentmoretimeonthem,asyoumightalreadyknow,andtrytofindmyownstrengthandweaknessesandstrivedhardtoovercomemyweakpoints.Inaddition,I’vefoundmyownpaceofstudying,whichIregardasthemostpreciousrewardofthisyear’seffort.Secondly,Ibegantotakeamoreactivepartinsportsthisyear.ItookeveryopportunityIhavetoexercise,andtakesportslessonsatagymnearmyapartment.ThoughIhaven’tlosemuchweight,Ifeelmyselfmuchhealthierthaneverbefore.
ToconcludehowI’vemadetheseprogress,herecomesmyyearsmotto:
nopains,nogains.Nomatterhowharditmightbe,sticktothegoalandneverquit,andneverdreamofshortcutstosuccess.Soifyouwanttoachievesomething,justtryhard,nomatterwhattheresultmightbe,you’resurelygoingtobenefitfromtheprocess.Goodluckeveryone,andIwishyouahappy,successfulnewyearin2018!
（241words）
点评：
1，有读者意识，明确知晓是在朋友圈发的年度总结，所以开头结尾很应景。
2，段落结构总体比较清晰，符合作文题目要求。
1）第一段告知了自己的两个年度目标。
2）第二段中有总体句、标记词（如：
firstofall,inaddition），方便读者阅读。
但总体表达都比较含糊，建议可以更加清晰化具体化（改变的行为不具体是因为目标不具体导致的）；特别是第二点，如果学生把目标定位，今年我要参加多少节健身课，或者我要完成多少公里的跑步，那么行为可以更具体，对是否可以达到自己年度目标的检测也可以更明确。
3）第三段的经验总结与之前努力的匹配度不高。
如果要写nopains,nogains，那么第二段里应该有具体的自己在遭遇瓶颈或者难以坚持的时候是如何咬牙坚持下来的。
4）Goodluck建议可以另起一段。
3，文本字数偏长。
7+6+3=16
Atthebeginningofthisyear,Ihavemadeupmymindtoachieveagoal.ThatwasIhopedthatIcouldlosemyweight.Withthepassingby,Ihaveachievedmygoal.Thefollowingaresomeofmyconclusionofthisobjective.
Toreachmyobjective,Iworkedoutaseriesofplans.Tobeginwith,Idesignedahealthydietmenu,whichexcludedunhealthyfoodsthatIwasfondofbefore.That’sthebasicoflosingweight.Secondly,Iwenttoparkorsportingplacesregularlytodovarioussports.Asweallknow,themoreexerciseyoudo,themoreheatsyouwillconsume.Lastbutnotleast,Itookanactivepartineverykindsofschoolactivitywhichcannotonlyhelpmeloseweightbutalsoenrichmylife.
Fromthisexperience,Iconcludethatonceyouhaveagoal,youshouldsticktoeveryhardshipsothatyoumayreachthemountaintop.Theprocessmaybefullofdifficultiesandyouarelikelywanttogiveup.Goahead,andthenyouwillfindthereisnothingcanhitdownyou.（191words）
点评：
1，段落结构比较清晰，符合作文题目要求。
2，第二段中的标记词（tobeginwith,secondly,lastbutnotleast）不恰当。
第三个努力的行为（Itookanactivepartineverykindsofschoolactivitywhichcannotonlyhelpmeloseweightbutalsoenrichmylife.）的内容不恰当，部分与主题无关（如：
enrichmylife）。
3，第三段的总结toogeneral，基本与第二段的努力行为没有关系。
根据第二段的内容，经验应该是：
管住嘴，迈开腿。
4，字数偏多，建议160左右。
5+6+2=13
Attheendof2017,Ican’thelpthinkingtheaimwhatIhavesetaboutmakingagreatprofessinmathbeforethe2017come.
Mathisaterribleformetostudywell.Tostudymathwell,asIfirmlybelieve,onlybypracticingmore,canIgainagoodmark.Inordertorealizethisaim,IgetupearliereverydaysothatIcanhavemoretimetodothemathexercise.Iaskteachermanyquestionsaboutthemath.Mymotheralwaysencouragemetostudymathwhenitcomestotheproblemofmath.Ialwaysfeelnervous,becauseIthinkitisverydifficultformetostudymathwell.ButbeingencouragedbytheparentsandteacherIhaveconfidence.Finally,Irealizedit.
Iwanttosharemyexperiencetothestudentswhichhavethesameproblemasme.Practicemakesperfect.Ifwewantgainagoodmarkweshouldpracticemore.（162words）
点评：
1，涵盖了作文题目要求的三个部分。
2，第二段的内容需要重新梳理，做了三个努力：
a.每天早起做数学题目；b.有问题勤问老师；c.心理焦虑时向妈妈倾诉（要说我做了什么，而不是文中Mymotheralwaysencouragemetostudymathwhenitcomestotheproblemofmath.）。
3，由此，第三段的经验总结是：
a.practicemakesperfect；b.多向他人求助
4+4+1=9
Theyearof2017willbeover.Ialwaysthinkitisayearwithmyambition.Istillremberthedaywhichisthefirstof2017.OnthatdayIpraiedIcouldgethigherscoresinthetest.Imademyplantogetclosetothetopoftherank.
Forthesakeofgoodmarks,whatImusthaveisaseriousattitude.Itwasthemostimportantthingsformetoinsisttheplan.IdecidedtoreadbooksofEnglish.Itwasthemostdifficultsubjectforme.Irecitedthewordsandvocabularydaybyday.Andthereadingisananotherproblem.BecauseofthelackofvocabularyIcouldn'tunderstandthepassageclearly.IstartedreadingtheEnglishlessonsineverymorning.That’sgooddayformethatIcouldneverforget.
AlthoughIstillnotgetmyplan,Istillwanttogethigherscoreinnextexam.Itwasmyambition,IbelieveIcandoitnextyear.Eventhoughthelifeistoughtome.（179words）
点评：
1，结构性缺失，没有“经验总结”。
2，第二段的内容需要重新梳理。
a.每天背多少单词；b.每天早晨读多少时间英语；c.每周（或每两周或每个月）读1本英语书。
2.普陀区
学校图书馆优美的学习环境和丰富的文献资源为学生们综合素质的提升提供了良好的平台。
为了进一步提高图书馆的服务水平，图书馆现向学生们征集建议。
假如你是李华，写信给图书馆负责人对图书馆的现状进行分析，并就此提出一些实用性的改进建议。
DearSir,
Inresponsetoyourcollectingsuggestionstofurtherimproveourschoollibrary’sservicequality,Iamwritingtoputforwardmyhumbleadvice,hopingtobeofsomevalue.
Ourschoollibrary,withbeautifulenvironmentandawiderangeofbooksandreferencematerials,servesasagoldenplatformtopromotestudents’overallability.However,therearestillsomeproblemsremainingunsolved.Theavailableseatsarealwaystight,somevacantonesareoccupiedbystudentswiththeirpersonalstuffandtomakethingsevenworse,someofthemdonotappearinthelibraryatall.Besides,sometimesitisnoisybecausethediscussionareaisnotseparated,whichmakesstudentswhilelearninghardtoconcentrate.Also,thenetworkinourlabdoesn’tworkwellthatit’snoteasytohaveaccesstoitwhenwearecollectinginformationonline.
Fortheabovesituation,Isuggestanexclusiveroomshouldbeappointedasameetingroomwherestudentsareallowedtodiscuss.Moreover,rulesshouldbemadeabouttheusageoftheseatsthatifonepersonleaveshisseatover20minutes,theseatcanbeavailabletoothers.Andifpossible,putsomefundtoupdateourexistingnetwork.
Iwouldbesogladifmyadviceisadopted.Iappreciateyourdevotiontotheconstructionofourlibraryandmayourlibrarybebetterandbetter.
Sincerelyyours
LiHua
3.徐汇区
俗话说“万事开头难”（Allthingsaredifficultbeforetheyareeas
升级会员 