122The One With the Ick Factor.docx
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122TheOneWiththeIckFactor
S01E22TheOneWiththeIckFactor
ickfactor：
虚假的真相。
这是针对剧集里Mon的男朋友说的。
Writtenby:
AlexaJunge
Transcribedby:
MikaelHedberg
122 倒人胃口的约会
瑞秋大做春梦——先是和钱德，第二次天梦见和钱德及乔伊（不过大多数时间是后两人在忙乎），第三个梦终于是和罗斯。
菲比想做兼差赚钱，所以给钱德当秘书。
钱德由此发现同僚们不再像以前那样喜欢他……甚至模仿他讲话的语气取乐。
莫妮卡和二年级生艾森约会，后来方知此君竟然是——高中——二年级生；
她无法接受遂与之分手。
罗斯买了个呼机，以方便卡萝将要分娩时同他联络；经历多场虚惊之后，他终于收到卡萝的呼叫。
大家赶至医院。
（Scene:
CentralPerk.Everyoneisthere.）
Monica:
Tellhim.
Rachel:
No.
Phoebe:
Tellhim,tellhim.
Monica:
Just...pleasetellhim.
Rachel:
Shutup!
Chandler:
Tellmewhat?
Monica:
Lookatyou,youwon'tevenlookathim.
Chandler:
（sarcastically）Oh,comeontellme.Icoulduseanotherreasonwhywomenwon'tlookatme.
sarcasticallyadv.讽刺的，辛辣的
Rachel:
Allright,allright,allright.Lastnight,Ihadadreamthat,uh,youandI,were...
Phoebe:
Doingitonthistable.（pointsatthetable）
Chandler:
Wow!
Joey:
Exellentdreamscore完美的梦中得分.
Ross:
Why,why,whywouldyoudreamthat?
Chandler:
Moreimportantly,wasIanygood更为重要的是，我很棒吗?
Rachel:
Well,youwereprettydamngood.
damnv.a.（上帝）罚……入地狱,诅咒b.谴责，指责interj.该死！
讨厌！
Chandler:
Interesting,causeinmydreams,I'mallwayssurprisinglyinadequate.（Monicapatshimonhislap）
inadequateadj不够格的，不能胜任的to力不从心/lapn.大腿前部
Rachel:
Well,lastnightyouseemedtoknowyourwayaroundthetable你在桌上表现神勇.
Ross:
Iloveit,whenweshare.
（Rossgoesovertothecounter.Chandlerfollowshim.）
Chandler:
You'reokaythere?
Ross:
Ican'tbeliveyoutwohadsexinherdream.
Chandler:
I'msorry,itwasaone-time-thing发生一次的事情.Iwasverydrunkanditwassomebodyelse'ssubconscious.
subconsciousadj.潜意识的
OpeningCredits
[Scene:
CentralPerk,continuedfromearlier,Chandlerissittingonthetable.]
Chandler:
HelloRachel.
Rachel:
Getoff下来.
Phoebe:
（pointsatJoey'spen）Uh,uh,gimme.Canyousee想象meoperatingadrillpress?
drillpressn.钻床
Joey:
Idon'tknow.Whatareyouwearing?
（Chandler,MonicaandPhoebelooksathim）
Ross:
Pheebs,whywouldyouwanttooperateadrillpress?
Phoebe:
Justforsomeshort-term-work.Youknow,untilIgetbacksomeofmymassageclients按摩客户.
Chandler:
Piratesagain?
pirate海盗,盗印者,盗版者,侵犯专利权者vt.盗印,盗版,掠夺,翻印vi.做海盗
Phoebe:
No,nothinglikethat没那回事.Iwasjust...suchadummie.Itaughtthis"massage-yourself-at-home-workshop工场."Andtheyare.我教他们“在家自己做按摩”，于是他们就真的都在家做了（所以都不来找Pheobe了）
dumbadj.哑的，沉默的，<贬>愚笨的/dummien.大笨蛋
Joey:
Hey,hey,Chan.Shecouldworkforyou.
Chandler:
（sarcasticly）ThanksJoey,that'sagoodidea.
Phoebe:
What...Icould,Icoulddoit.Whatisit?
Chandler:
Well,mysecretaryisgonnabeoutforacoupleofweeks.Sheishavingoneofherboobsredused消乳术.（Rosslooksather.）It'sawholebigboob（=breast）story.
Phoebe:
Icouldbeasecretary.
Chandler:
Well,youknowPhoebs.Idon'tknowifit'syourkindathing,becauseitinvolvesalotofbeingnormal.Foralargeportionoftheday.
alargeportionof大部分
Phoebe:
Icoulddothat.
（Ross'sbeeper寻呼机goesoff响了）
Rachel:
Whatareyouplayingwith?
Ross:
Oh,it'smynewbeeper.
Joey:
Whatthehelldoesapaleontologist古生物学家needabeeperfor?
Monica:
Isitlikefordinosauremergencies.'Help,comequick,they'restillextinct.'
Ross:
No,it'sforwhenCarolgoesintolabor.ShecangetmewhereverIam.Imean,allshehastodoistodial55-JIMBO.
laborn.n.劳动,努力,工作,劳工,分娩,阵痛/gointolabor进入分娩/Jimbo:
是孩子们喜欢的一个小丑的名字。
Chandler:
Acoolphonenumber,andapossiblenameforthekid.
Monica:
Allright,I'llseeyouguyslater.（raises）
Rachel:
OfftoseeyoungEthan?
Monica:
Thankyou.
Joey:
HowyoungisyoungEthan?
Young?
Monica:
He's...ourage.
Chandler:
Whenwewere?
Monica:
Okay,he'sasenior大四incollege.
Ross:
College?
Chandler:
Whoa!
Andthismanchild小朋友hasnoproblemwithhowoldyouare?
Monica:
No,ofcoursenot.It'snotevenanissue.CauseItoldhimIwas22.
All:
What?
Monica:
Oh,Ican'tpassfor22?
passforv.被称为，被看作
Phoebe:
Well,maybe25-26.
Monica:
Iam26.
Phoebe:
Thereyougo这就对了.
[Scene:
Chandler'soffice,heandPhoebearetherewhenthephonestartsringing.]
Chandler:
Canyouhearthat?
Phoebe:
（playswithathumbtackremover）Yeah?
tackn.平头钉,方针，政策/thumbtackn.图钉/thumbtackremovern.去图钉器
Chandler:
Seethat'llstopwhenyoupickupthephone.
Phoebe:
Oh.Uh,I'mon.（picksupthephone）
Phoebe:
（withadeep深沉的voice）Mr.Bing'soffice.（Listens）NoI'msorry,he'sinameetingrightnow.
Chandler:
I'mnotinameeting.I'mright...Whoops哎哟.
Phoebe:
Willheknowwhatthisisinreferenceto?
（Listens）Andhehasyournumber?
（Listens）Allright,I'llseethathegetsthemessage.Byebye.
inreferenceto关于/seethat确保，保证
Chandler:
What?
Phoebe:
Rosssayshi.
Chandler:
Ah!
Phoebe:
Thisissofun（adj好玩，有趣）Allright,whatdowedonow?
Chandler:
Well,now,Iactuallyhavetogettowork.
Phoebe:
Mostlikely没错.（raisesandgoestowardthedoor）Okay,I'mgonnabeoutthere.
Chandler:
Okay.
Phoebe:
Allright.Byebye.
Chandler:
Byebye.
（Theintercombuzzes）
Chandler:
（answeringit）Yes?
Phoebe:
Whatchadoin'?
Chandler:
Ooh.（leansagainstthedesk）
[Scene:
MonicaandRachel's,MonicaandRachelarethere.Monicaisjustfinishingcleaningthewindows.]
Monica:
Windowsareclean,candelsarelit.Uh,belt'stotight,gottachangethebelt.DidIturnthefish?
（goesovertothekitchentocheckonthedinner）No,causeImadelasagne.（toRachel）AmIoutofcontrol?
turnthefish翻鱼身
Rachel:
Justatouch=justalittle只是一点点.Mon,Idon'tunderstand.Imean,you'vebeendatingthisguysincelike,what...hismidterms期中考试?
Imean,whyallthesudden（allofasudden的简略版本）areyouso...Oh.
Monica:
What?
Rachel:
CouldtonightbetheNight?
Monica:
Idon'tknow.Lookhe'sagreatguyandIlovebeingwithhimbut...youknow.Thingshappen,andtheyhappen.Youdon'tplanthesethings.
Rachel:
So,didyoushaveyourlegs刮腿毛?
Monica:
Yeah.
Rachel:
A-ha!
[Scene:
CentralPerk.JoeyandRossarethere.]
Joey:
WouldyouletitgoRoss.Itwasjustadream.Itdoesn'tmean...
（Ross'sbeepergoesoff）
Ross:
Oh,oh.Oh,oh.Ohthisisit.Ohmygodit'sbabytime.Babytime.
Joey:
Allright,relax,relax.Justrelax,justrelax.Becool,becool.
（Rossdialsanumberonhiscellularphone）
cellularphonen.便携式电话
Ross:
（onphone）Yeah,hi,Iwasjustbeeped.（pause）No,Andr?
isnothere.（toJoey）Thirdtimetoday.（onphone）Yes,I'msure...No,sir.Idon'tperformthosekindofservices.
Joey:
Services?
（Rosslooksathim）Oh,services.
Ross:
（onphone）Yeah,youwant55-JUMBO.Yeah,that'sright.That'sright,JUMBOwithaU,sir.（pause）No,beliveme,youdon'twantme.Judgingbyhisnumber,I'dbeahugedisappointment.（pause）Allrightie,byebye.
jumbon.<美>庞然大物adj.巨大的/自从有了55-JIMBO的呼机后，Ross经常被别人打错号码问是否提供性服务。
所以他解释中间不是U的字母。
Jumbo是一头名为Jumbo的大象。
它在伦敦展出帮主人赚了不少钱。
也许就是因为这头超大体型的象，在美国，当你走在超市里，一定会注意到不少商品的包装上面印有Jumbo的字。
这不是哪个品牌，而是"超大号"的意思。
（PhoebeandChandlerenter）
Joey:
Hey,hey.Howwasthefirstday?
Phoebe:
Oh,exellent.Everyonewasso,sonice.
Chandler:
See,itpaystoknowthemanwhowearsmyshoes.（JoeyandRosswonderwhathemeans）Me.
payv.有利
Phoebe:
No,Ididn'ttellanybodythatIknewyou.
Chandler:
Whynot?
Phoebe:
Oh,because,youknow...theydon'tlikeyou.
Chandler:
What?
!
Phoebe:
Ithoughtyouknewthat.
Chandler:
Noho.Whodoesn'ttheylikeme?
Phoebe:
Everyone.Exceptforuh...noeveryone.
Chandler:
Whatareyoutalkingabout?
Phoebe:
Don'tfeelbad.Youknowtheyusedtolikeyoualot.Butthenyougotpromoted,and,youknow,nowyou'relike"Mr.BossMan".Youknow,Mr.Bing.Mr.Bing,"BossManBing".
（JoeyandRosslaughs）
Chandler:
Ican'tbeliveit.
Phoebe:
Yeah,yeah.Theyevendoyou.
dosb=imitatesb模仿某人
Chandler:
Theydome?
Phoebe:
Youknowlike...uhokay...uh...'Couldthatreportbeanylater?
'
（JoeyandRosslaughs）
Chandler:
Idon'tsoundlikethat.
Ross:
Oh,ohChandler...
Joey:
Oh...Yeah,youdo.
Ross:
'Thehillswerealivewiththesoundofmusic.'
bealivewith充满着
（Phoebe,JoeyandRosslaughs）
Joey:
（reachesforhiscones）Myscones.
sconen.烤饼
Phoebe,Joey,andRoss:
'Myscones.'
（Phoebe,JoeyandRosslaughsagain）
Chandler:
Okay,Idon'tsoundlikethat.Thatissonottrue.
（JoeyandChandlerlaughs）
Chandler:
Thatissonot...Thatissonot...That...Oh,shutup!
（Phoebe,JoeyandRosslaugh）
[Scene:
MonicaandRachel's,MonicaandYoungEthanaresittinginthecouch.]
Monica:
Didnot.
YoungEthan:
Iamtellingyou,upuntilIwas,likenine,Ithoughtthatgunpointwasanactualplacewherecrimeshappen.
gunpointn.枪口
Monica:
Howwasthatpossible?
YoungEthan:
Well,thinkaboutit.It'salwaysonthenews.'Amanisbeingheldup,atgunpoint.''Touristsarebeingterrorised,atgunpoint.'AndIjustkeptthinking:
whydoespeoplecontinuetogothere?
（Hecheckshiswatch.）Oh,ah.Ishouldgo.
beheldup被控制/terrorisev.充满恐惧，使恐惧，恐吓
Monica:
Okay.
（Theykiss）
YoungEthan:
Okay.
Monica:
Unless...
YoungEthan:
What?
Monica:
Uh,ah.Unlessyouwannastayover过夜?
Imean,I'mgoingto,so...
YoungEthan:
Yeah,I'dreallylikethat.
（Theykiss）
YoungEthan:
Uuh,beforewegetintoanystaying-over-stuff,thereissomethingyoushouldknow.
Monica:
Okay,isthislike'Ihaveanearlyclasstomorrow'or'I'msecretlymarriedtoagoat?
'
goatn.山羊<俚>色鬼，替罪羊
YoungEthan:
Wellit'ssomewhereinbetween.Yousee,inastrictlytechnicalsense,ofcourse,I'mnotuh...,wellI,ImeanIhaven'teveruh...
Monica:
Ethan?
YoungEthan:
Yeah?
Monica:
Areyouavirgin处男?
YoungEthan:
Well,ifthat'swhatyoukidsarecallingitthesedaysthen,yesIam.Iuh,I'vekindabeenwaitingfortherightperson.
Monica:
Really?
YoungEthan:
Yeah.YoudoknowIwastalkingaboutyou,right?
（Theykiss）
[Timelapse.TheyarenowinMonica'sb
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