I was a victim of a very Brutal crime.docx

I was a victim of a very Brutal crime.docx

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IwasavictimofaveryBrutalcrime

ASurvivor’sPerspective:

HerCorporateAmericaExperience

KathrynKaiser,AnalystShareholderRecords,PNMResources

GoodMorning.Iamaneducatedprofessional–andwasemployedasanAdministratorandShareholderServicesAnalystforthelargestutilityinNewMexico,PNMResources,Incfor23years.Iwasalsoavictimofaverybrutalcrime.

Justtwoyearsago,amanwhoclaimed,atonetime,toloveme,repeatedlyslammedmyheadintothepavement.Asmybrainricochetedagainstthefourwallsofmyskull,Isawstarsthatturnedintoelectricbolts.Then,Iblackedout.WhenIcameto,myboyfriendwasstillbeatingme,andIjustknewthatIwasdying.ButbeforeIrealizedit,theparkinglotwasfilledwithpoliceofficers.

IamherethismorningtosharemyexperienceasanemployeeinCorporateAmericawhoneededhelp–butfirst,I’dliketosharemoreofmypersonalstorywithyou.

Iamalaw-abidingcitizenandraisedmydaughterstobethesame,butwhenIneededthelaw,theywerenotthereforme.Theydidnotarresthim.Inolongertrustedthesystem.Inolongertrustedanyone.

Isufferednumerousinjuriesthatarestillwithmeandwillbeforever…closedheadtrauma,concussion,ulnarnervedamageinmyrightarm,multiplecontusions,fracturedteeth,tinnitis,posttraumaticstressdisorder,shorttermmemoryloss,migraines,hospitalization,eyeobstructionandthroatblockagethatrequiresmetosleepwithamachine.Moresurgeryispending.

TopeopleImightlooknormal,butIdon’tfeelthesameanymore,andIamnotthesamewoman.TheattacktookawaythelifeIhadlived,andIwasnevergoingtogetitback.Iwillneverbethesame.

Forthefirst6monthsafterthatattack,mylifeconsistedof10-15appointmentsperweek.Medicalandpsychologicalappointmentsconsumedmylife,andIhadtobeconstantlyinvolvedwiththedistrictattorney’sofficeandthecourts.

MyabuserwasfinallyindictedbytheGrandJurywhereIappearedasthecrimevictimandstatewitnessonfeloniesinthe3rddegree:

aggravatedbatteryandassaulttocausegreatbodilyharmortocausedeathandaggravatedbatteryandassaultwithadeadlyweapon–thepavement–tocausedeath,aswellasothercharges.Thebigquestionis:

WHYwasn’thearrested?

Myfamilyandfriendstoldmenottobeawitnessandtogobacktoworktokeepmymindoffofthis;theyneveracceptedthatIwashomeunderdoctor’sorders.Attimes,Iwantedtobackout.That’swhatmostwomendo.Thedistrictattorneytoldmethatveryfewwomenprosecutetheirabusers.Iftheydo,theydon’tseethecasethroughtotheendbecauseofhowdifficultitis.

Iunderstandwhy.Evenafterthreefulldaysofafelonytrialthatincludedpoliceandmedicalpicturesaswellasmytestimony,thejurycamebackwithanot-guiltyverdict.Ifeltvictimizedalloveragain.Ihavealwaysbeen,andstillam,theprisoner,whilehecontinuestolivehislifejustlikebefore.HehadalltherightsandIhadnone.

Mostofmyfamilywasn’tverysupportiveeither,whichmademysituationevenmoretraumatic.Familyandfriendswouldn’ttalkaboutit,andsomerefusedtobelieveit.Iwouldhavetoshowpicturesforpeopletobelievehowseriousmyinjurieswere.Oncetheylookedatthepictures,theychangedthesubject.Peoplestayedaway.ItwasaveryDarkandShamefulexperience.Thewaypeoplerespondedhurt:

“HowcouldIhaveletthishappen?

”“Whydidn’tIleavehim?

?

!

!

”Thosekindsofquestionsmademefeelliketheattackwasentirelymyfault.Itwasn’t.

Myfamilyandthecriminaljusticesystemdisappointedme.Thesamecannotbesaidofmyemployer.

Needlesstosay,Ilostagreatdealoftimefromwork.PNMResourcesplacedmeondisabilitythroughtheFamilyMedicalLeaveAct（FMLA）forfourmonths.Afterreturningtowork,Iwasdiagnosedwithmoreinjuriesandplacedbackonleaveforanother2months.ThisdoesnotincludethemedicalcareIcontinuetoreceiveonanon-goingbasis.

Duringthattime,mymanagerstayedincontactwithme.Shegavemesupportbyprovidingpositivefeedback.Thatwasimportant,becausegiventheframeofmindIwasinatthetime,Ifeltnoonecaredorunderstoodwhathappenedtome.Forthatmatter,neitherdidI.

Becauseofourregularcontact,sheknewthatIwouldneedspecialcarebeginningonthefirstdayIreturnedtowork.SheworkedwiththeHRdepartmenttodeterminewhatkindofpaperworkthecompanywouldneedforadditionalsecurity,suchastherestrainingorderandaphotographoftheabuser.ShearrangedforaparkingspaceinthefacilityinsidethebuildingwhereIwork.Thetelecommunicationsdepartmentwasalsoalertedsothatanewphonenumberwouldbeassigned.

Shehelpedtoeasemebackintothejobbytakingonsomeofmymorecomplexduties.Becauseofthemanydoctorappointmentsandmypersonalsituations,thereweredayswhenIsimplycouldnotbeveryproductive.

Aftermyfirstweekback,mymanagerrealizedthatshewasdealingwithasituationthatshehadneverexperiencedbeforeandknewnothingabout.Sheaskedtospeakwithmydoctorsoshecouldgetmoreinformation.Iagreed.Mymanagerfeltthattakingthetimetounderstandmysituationmadehermoreobjectiveindealingwiththistypeofexperience.Hercaring,supportandactiveinterestmademefeelsafeatwork.WorkwastheoneplacewhereIcouldkeepmymindoffthisnightmare.Thereisnodoubtthattheattitudeofmyco-workersandsupervisorsgavemethewilltobeasurvivor.

Domesticviolencenotonlytakesatollonvictims,butalsoontheirco-workersandtheirfamilies.Myabuserdoesn’tevenknowhowthisincidenthasaffectedme–thevictim–muchlessallthepeoplearoundme.Millionsofwomenbringtheburdensofdomesticviolencetoworkeveryday.

Atwork,Iexperiencedthreateningphonecalls.Itwasfrightening.ThePNMtelecommunicationsdepartmentimmediatelychangedmyphonenumber.Meanwhile,myoldnumberremainedlivesotheauditservicesdepartmentcouldtracktheincomingcalls.Butmybattererwassmartenoughtouseuntraceablelines.

InolongerexistasaPNMemployeethroughouremailandmyphonenumberisnotgivenout.Callsaredirectedtomymanager.Shehastakenextratimetodealwithadditionalcallsthathadtobedirectedtoher.Notonlythat–myco-workershadtochangetheirmessagesontheiranswermachinessomynamewasnotincludedintheirrecording.

PNMwasmovedbymysituationandgotinvolvedinthisissueafterImetwithkeypeopleinourcompanytoinformthemthatothercompaniesinourcitywereimplementingprogramstoeducatetheirworkforce.ThecompanyhasbecomeevenmoreresponsivesinceIhavesharedmypersonalstoryandexplainedthatanyonecanbecomeavictimofdomesticviolence.

PNMisevenexpandingitsinterestintheissueofdomesticviolencetocustomers.Now,ifutilitycustomersarehidingfromanabuser,PNMallowsthemtosupplytheirownprotectivepassword.Thissimpleactionpreventsanyonefromaccessingthecustomer’saccountandlocatingher.

AndIhopetoincreasetheircommitmentevenmore!

Thisyear,IputuppostersandliteratureforDomesticViolenceAwarenessMonth.IarrangedtohavetheNewMexicoStateDistrictAttorneyandtheexecutivedirectoroftheNewMexicoCoalitionAgainstDomesticViolencecomespeaktoemployeesduringabrownbaglunch.

Thisisonlythebeginning…muchmoreneedstobedone.NotjustatPNMbutatcompaniesalloverthecountryjustlikeyours.Yourcompaniescandothesameforvictims.Betteryet,yourcompaniescaneducateemployeesaboutthewarningsignsandwheretofindhelp.Ididn’trecognizeallthesigns.Ididn’tknowwheretoturnforhelp.That’sveryimportantinformation.

Itwasn’tuntilIreturnedtoworkthatIfeltthatIstillbelongedsomewhere.ItwasatworkwhereIcontinuedtobeseenasastrongpersonandanachiever.Anditwasn’tuntilIreturnedtoworkthatIcouldeducateothers.

Myco-workerssaidthatIwasthelastpersontheythoughtthiscouldeverhavehappenedto.WhenIkepthearingthatoverandoveragain,IknewIhadtodomybesttoturnthisbrutalcrimeintosomethingpositive.Ihadtoteachothersthatunlessweallworktogethertostoptheviolence,therewillbemanymorevictims.Ithappenstopeoplejustlikemeeveryday.Whetheryouknowitornot,eachofyouemploysa“Kathryn”Andhasanemployeewhoknowsa“Kathryn.”

slightpause

Istillfearformylife…andworrythatmyabuserwilltrytofinishthejob.

EverydayIlivewithitandIthankGodforsavingme.IknowHedoeshaveapurposeandplanforme.

AsIcontinuethroughmyrecovery,I’vebeeninvitedtoandacceptedboardpositionsthatdealwithdomesticviolence.Iamalsoanadvocatewhowantstoprotectothersandavolunteerwholobbiesonthisissue.

Infact,thatiswhyIamheretoday.Ineverplannedonbecomingaprofessionalspeaker.Butthisisthewaytoturnahorriblelifechangingexperienceintosomethingpositive.Thebusinesscommunitymustgetmoreinvolved,becausenotonlyisitsuchatremendousexpensetothevictim’semployer,buttothebatterer’semployeraswell.

Mysituationisagoodexample:

Becauseofmyabuser’sjob,hewasabletousehiscompany’svehicletostalkme.Andheusedtheirequipmenttolisteninonmytelephonecalls.Thishappenedduringthetimeheshouldhavebeenworking.

CorporationsMustrecognizeandprovidetreatmentprogramsforbothbatterersandvictims.TheyMustrecognizethatdomesticviolencehasconsequencesthatgofarbeyondthefamily.Manycostsdirectlyaffectbusinesses.

Withthehelpofmycompany,friendsandadvocates,Iamgoingtomakeadifference.Ipushforcompanieslikeyourstodevelop