绝望主妇第一季第一集全英文剧本.docx

绝望主妇第一季第一集全英文剧本.docx

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绝望主妇第一季第一集全英文剧本

Season1,Episode01:

Pilot

--MARYALICE:

:

MynameisMaryAliceYoung.Whenyoureadthismorning'spaper,youmaycomeacrossanarticleabouttheunusualdayIhadlastweek.Normally,there'sneveranythingnewsworthyaboutmylife.ThatallchangedlastThursday.Ofcourseeverythingseemedasnormalatfirst.Imademybreakfastformyfamily.Iperformedmychores.Icompletedmyprojects.Iranmyerrands.Intruth,IspentthedayasIspendeveryotherdayquietlypolishingtheroutineofmylifeuntilitgleamedwithperfection.That'swhyitwassoastonishingwhenIdecidedtogotomyhallwayclosettoretrievearevolverthathadneverbeenused.

--MARYALICE:

Mybodywasdiscoveredbymyneighbor,Mrs.MarthaHuber,whohadbeenstartledbyastrangepoppingsound.Hercuriosityaroused,Mrs.Hubertriedtothinkofareasonfordroppinginonmeunannounced.Aftersomeinitialhesitation,shedecidedtoreturntheblendershehadborrowedfrommesixmonthsbefore.

--MRSHUBER:

It’smyneighbor.Ithinkshe'sbeenshot,there'sbloodeverywhere.Yes,you'vegottosendanambulance.You'vegottosendonerightnow!

--MARYALICE:

Andforamoment,Mrs.Huberstoodmotionlessinherkitchengrief-strickenbythissenselesstragedy.But,onlyforamoment.IftherewasonethingMrs.Huberwasknownfor,itwasherabilitytolookonthebrightside.IwaslaidtorestonaMonday.Afterthefuneral,alltheresidentsofWisteriaLanecametopaytheirrespects.Andaspeopledointhissituation,theybroughtfood.LynetteScavobroughtfriedchicken.Lynettehadagreatfamilyrecipeforfriedchicken.Ofcourse,shedidn’tcookmuchasshewasmovingupthecorporateladder.Shedidn’thavethetime.ButwhenherdoctorannouncedLynettewaspregnant,herhusbandTomhadanidea.Whynotquityourjob?

Kidsdomuchbetterwithstay-at-homemums;itwassomuchlessstressful.Butthiswasnotthecase.Infact,Lynette’slifehadbecomesohecticshewasnowforcedtogetherchickenfromafastfoodrestaurant.Lynettewouldhaveappreciatedtheironyofitifshestoppedtothinkaboutit,butshecouldn’t.Shedidn’thavethetime.

--LYNETTE:

Hey,hey,hey,hey!

Stopit,stopit,stopit.Stopit.

--PRESTON:

ButMom!

--LYNETTE:

No,youaregoingtobehavetoday.Iamnotgoingtobehumiliatedinfrontoftheentireneighborhood.And,justsoyouknowhowseriousIam...

--PRESTON:

What’sthat?

--LYNETTE:

Santa’scell-phonenumber.

--PORTER:

How’dyougetthat?

--LYNETTE:

Iknowsomeone,whoknowssomeone,whoknowsanelf.Andifanyoneofyouactsup,sohelpme,IwillcallSantaandtellhimyouwantsocksforChristmas.Youwillingtoriskthat?

--SCAVOkids:

Uh-uh!

（allshaketheirheadsvehemently）

--LYNETTE:

Okay.Let’sgetthisoverwith.

--MARYALICE:

GabrielleSolis,wholivesdowntheblock,broughtaspicypaella.SincehermodelingdaysinNewYork,Gabriellehaddevelopedatasteforrichfoodandrichmen.Carlos,whoworkedinmergersandacquisitions,proposedontheirthirddate.Gabriellewastouchedwhentearswelledupinhiseyes.ButshesoondiscoveredthishappenedeverytimeCarlosclosedabigdeal.Gabriellelikedherpaellapipinghot.However,herrelationshipwithherhusbandwasconsiderablycooler.

--CARLOS:

IfyoutalktoAlMasonatthisthing,IwantyoutocasuallymentionhowmuchIpaidforyournecklace.

--GABRIELLE:

Whydon’tIjustpinthereceipttomychest?

--CARLOS:

Heletmeknowhowmuchhepaidforhiswife’snewconvertible.Look,just

workitintotheconversation.

--GABRIELLE:

There’snowayIcanjustworkthatin,Carlos.

--CARLOS:

Whynot?

AttheDonohueparty,everyonewastalkingaboutmutualfunds.AndyoufoundawaytomentionyousleptwithhalftheYankeeoutfield.

--GABRIELLE:

I’mtellingyou,itcameupinthecontextoftheconversation.

--CARLOS:

Hey,peoplearestartingtostare.Canyoukeepyourvoicedownplease?

--GABRIELLE:

（sigh）Absolutely.Wouldn’twantthemtothinkwe’renothappy.

--MARYALICE:

BreeVanDeKamp,wholivesnextdoor,broughtbasketsofmuffinsshebakedfromscratch.Breewasknownforhercooking.Andformakingherownclothes.Andfordoingherowngardening.Andforreupholsteringherownfurniture.Yes,Bree’smanytalentswereknownthroughouttheneighborhood.AndeveryoneonWisteriaLanethoughtofBreeastheperfectwifeandmother.Everyone,thatis,exceptherownfamily.

--BREE:

Paul,Zachary.Paul，Zachary。

--ZACH:

HelloMrs.VanDeKamp.

--PAUL:

Bree,youshouldn’thavegonetoallthistrouble.

--BREE:

Itwasnotroubleatall.Nowthebasketwiththeredribbonisfilledwithdessertsforyourguests.ButtheonewiththeblueribbonisjustforyouandZachary.It’sgotrolls,muffins,breakfasttypethings.

--PAUL:

Thankyou.

--BREE:

Well,theleastIcoulddoismakesureyouboyshadadecentmealtolookforwardtointhemorning.Iknowyou’reoutofyourmindswithgrief.

--PAUL:

Yes,weare.

--BREE:

Ofcourse,Iwillneedthebasketsbackonceyou’redone.（smilingserenely）

--PAUL:

Ofcourse.

-MARYALICE:

SusanMeyer,wholivesacrossthestreet,broughtmacaroniandcheese.HerhusbandCarlalwaysteasedherabouthermacaroni,sayingitwastheonlythingsheknewhowtocook,andsherarelymadeitwell.ItwastoosaltythenightsheandCarlmovedintotheirnewhouse.ItwastoowaterythenightshefoundlipstickonCarl’sshirt.SheburneditthenightCarltoldherhewasleavingherforhissecretary.Ayearhadpassedsincethedivorce.Susanwasstartingtothinkhowniceitwouldbetohaveamaninherlife,evenonewhowouldmakefunofhercooking.

--JULIE:

Mom,whywouldsomeonekillthemselves?

--SUSAN:

Well,sometimespeoplearesounhappytheythinkit’stheonlywaytheycansolvetheirproblems.

--JULIE:

ButMrs.Youngalwaysseemedhappy.

--SUSAN:

Yeah,sometimespeoplepretendtobeonewayontheoutsideandthey’retotallydifferentontheinside.

--JULIE:

OhyoumeanhowDad’sgirlfriendisalwayssmilingandsaysnicethingsbutdeepdownyoujustknowshe’sabitch.

--SUSAN:

Idon’tlikethatword,Julie.Butyeah,that’sagreatexample.

--JULIE:

Hey,what’sgoingon?

--SUSAN:

SorryI’mlate.

--GABRIELLE:

Hi,Susan!

--LYNETTE:

Hey.

--MARYALICE:

So?

WhatdidCarlsaywhenyouconfrontedhim?

--SUSAN:

You’lllovethis,hesaiditdoesn’tmeananything,itwasjustsex.

--BREE:

Ohyes,pageoneofthephilanderer’shandbook.

--SUSAN:

Yeah,andthenhegotthisZenlookonhisface,andhesaid,youknowSusan,mostmenlivelivesofquietdesperation.

--LYNETTE:

Pleasetellmeyoupunchedhim.

--SUSAN:

No,Isaid,really?

Andwhatdomostwomenlead,livesofnoisyfulfillment?

--GABRIELLE:

Hmm.

--MARYALICE:

Goodforyou.

--SUSAN:

Imean,ofallpeople,didhehavetobanghissecretary?

Ihadthatwomanover

forbrunch.

--GABRIELLE:

It’slikemygrandmotheralwayssaid,anerectpenisdoesn’thavea

conscience.

--LYNETTE:

Eventhelimponesaren’tthatethical

--BREE:

ThisishalfthereasonIjoinedtheNRA.Well,whenRexstartedgoingtothosemedicalconferences,Iwantedatthebackofhismindthathehadalovingwifeathome,withaloadedSmithandWesson.

--MARYALICE:

Lynnie?

Tom’salwaysawayonbusiness.Doyoueverworryhemight..?

--LYNETTE:

Oh,please,theman’sgottenmepregnantthreetimesinfouryears.Iwishhewashavingsexwithsomeoneelse.

--BREE:

SoSusan,ishegoingtostopseeingthatwoman?

--SUSAN:

Idon’tknow.I’msorryyouguys,Ijust...Ijustdon’tknowhowI’mgoingtosurvivethis.

--MARYALICE:

Listentome.Weallhavemomentsofdesperation.Butifwecanfacethemheadon,that’showwefindoutjusthowstrongwereallyare.

--BREE:

Susan?

Susan.IwasjustsayingPaulwantsustogooveronFriday.HeneedsustogothroughMaryAlice’scloset,andhelppackupherthings.Hesayshecan’tfacedoingitbyhimself.

--SUSAN:

Sure,that’sfine.

--BREE:

AreyouOK?

--SUSAN:

Yeah.I’mjustsoangry.IfMaryAlicewashavingproblems,sheshouldhavecometous;sheshouldhaveletushelpher.

--GABRIELLE:

Whatkindofproblemscouldshehavehad?

Shewashealthy,hadagreathome,anicefamily.Herlifewas…-

--LYNETTE:

…ourlife.

--GABRIELLE:

No,ifMaryAlicewashavingsomesortofcrisis,we’dhaveknown.Shelives50feetaway,forgod’ssakes.

--SUSAN:

Gabby,thewomankilledherself.Somethingmust’vebeengoingon.

--SUSAN:

Oh,Iwouldn’teatthatifIwereyou.

--MIKE:

Why?

--SUSAN:

Imadeit,trustme.Hey,hey,doyouhaveadeathwish?

--MIKE:

No,Ijustrefusetobelievethatanybodycanscrewupmacaroniandcheese.Ohmygod.Howdidyou…ittasteslikeit’sburntandundercooked.

--SUSAN:

Yeah,Igetthatalot.Hereyougo.

--MIKE:

Thanks.I’mMikeDelfino,IjustrentedouttheSim’shousenextdoor.

--SUSAN:

SusanMeyer,Iliveacrossthestreet.

--MIKE:

Ohyeah,Mrs.Hubertoldmeaboutyou,saidyouillustratechildren’sbooks

--SUSAN:

YeahI’mverybigwiththeunder5set.Whatdoyoudo?

--MIKE:

Plumber.Soifyoueverhaveaclog.Orsomething.

--SUSAN:

Nowthateverybody’sseenthatI’vebroughtsomething,Ishouldprobablyjustthrowthisout.

--LYNETTE:

Ow!

Easeup,youlittlevampire.

--MRS.HUBER:

Lynette!

I’vebeenlookingalloverforyou.

--LYNETTE:

Oh.

--MRS.HUBER:

Areyouawareofwhatyoursonsaredoing?

--SCAVOkids:

Stop.Arrrggggh.Hah!

--LYNETTE:

Whatareyoudoing!

?

Weareatawake!

--PRESTON:

Whenwegothere,yousaidwecouldgointhepool.

--LYNETTE:

Isaidyoucouldgobythepool.Doyouhaveyourswimsuitson?

?

--PORTER:

Yeah,weputthemonunderourclothesjustbeforeweleft.

--LYNETTE:

Youthreeplannedthis?

?

Alright,that’sit.Getout!