汉英语篇翻译好坏比较研究.docx
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汉英语篇翻译好坏比较研究
汉英语篇翻译好坏比较研究
-----以〈背影》两种译本为例
〈背影》是朱自清先生的名作,被多次选入小学教材中,我们基本上都熟知这篇感人至深的散文,本文节选了一些其中段落,并以张培基先生和杨宪益先生的译文为例来对比赏析,并探讨一下散文英译的方法与遣词及其传递的不同情感
我与父亲不相见已二年余了,我最不能忘记的是他的背影。
那年冬天,祖母死了,父亲的差使也交卸了,正是祸不单行的日子,我从北京到徐州,打算跟着父亲奔丧回家。
到徐州见着父亲,看见满院狼藉的东西,又想起祖母,不禁簌簌地流下眼泪。
父亲说:
事已如此,不必难过,好在天无绝人之路!
”
ItismorethantwoyearssinceIlastsawfather,andwhatIcanneverforgetisthesightofhisback.Misfortunesnevercomesingly.Inthewinterofmorethantwoyearsago,grandmadiedandfatherlosthisjob.IleftBei-jingforXuzhoutojoinfatherinhasteninghometoattendgrandma'sfuneral.WhenImetfatherinXuzhou,thesightofthedisorderlymessinhiscourtyardandthethoughtofgrandmastartedtearstricklingdownmycheeks.Fathersaid,"Nowthatthings'vecametosuchapass,it'snousecrying.Fortunately,Heavenalwaysleav
esoneawayout.”
(张培基译)
ThoughitisovertwoyearssinceIsawmyfather,Icanneverforgetmylastviewofhisback.Thatwintermygrandmotherdied,andmyfather'officialappointmentwasterminated,fortroublesnevercomesingly.IwentfromBeijingtoXuzhou,togobackwithhimforthefuneral.WhenIjoinedhiminXuzhouIfoundthecourtyardstrewnwiththingsandcouldnothelpsheddingtearsatthethoughtofgranny.“What'pastisgone,”aidmyfather.“Itnousegrieving.Heavenalwaysleavesussomewayout.
(杨宪益译)
1.我与父亲不相见已二年余了,我最不能忘记的是他的背影。
”
张先生译的是“ItsmorethantwoyearssinceIlastsawfatherandwhatIcanneverforgetisthesightofhisback.”
杨先生译的是“ThoughitisovertwoyearssinceIsawmyfather,Ica
nneverforgetmylastviewofhisback.”
汉英属于不同语系的英语和汉语在句法上各具特色,其间差异不一而足。
奈
达在其QranslatingMeaning》(1983)一书中指出:
就汉语和英语而言,也许在语言学上最重要的一个区别,就是形合和意合的对比(contrastbetweenhypotaxisandparataxis)。
其实,意合”一词,并非奈达首创。
语法学家王力在其〈中国语法理论》及《汉语语法纲要》两本书中皆提及了意合”。
他在后者中言及:
复合句里既有两个以上的句子形式,它们之间的联系有时候是以意合的……。
英语重形合,汉语重意合。
-早已是人们的共识。
英语借助connectives
(连接词)组成复句,汉语则可依靠语序直接组合复句。
我觉得张先生有些汉
语思维的痕迹,只是按照好于的顺序译过来没有达到形合,而杨先生这句运用了连词though串起了整句话,更加原汁原味,读起来更符合英语习惯,并且字数更少,更简洁。
并且使用view使得这句话更具画面感。
2.正是祸不单行的日子”较之杨先生”troublesnevercomesingly张先生翻成”Misfortunesnevercomesingly.似乎更好些,因为此时朱自清先生遭遇的是亲人的离去等不幸,misfortune更侧重人生大不幸,命运的‘trouble更侧重麻烦,令人苦恼的事,而且也没有让人有悲伤的感觉。
3.我从北京到徐州,打算跟着父亲奔丧回家。
我认为张先生译的更好rleft
Bei-jingforXuzhoutojoinfatherinhasteninghometoattendgrandma
'sfuneral.因为相比杨先生的“WentfromBeijingtoXuzhou,togoback
withhimforthefuneral.Left--for比wentto更地道而且奔丧回家译成
hasteninghometoattendgrandma'sfuneral.比gobackwithhimforth
efuneral.更能传递作者朱自清当时的事发的突然,更能表现出祸不单行。
而
且goback太平常,缺少感情。
4.不必难过,张先生译为it'snousecrying,杨先生以为it'nousegrieving.就我个人而言,我认为杨先生译的更好,因为crying表示的哭的动作grieving更侧重与内心的无比痛苦,更能表现作者内心的伤痛,这种伤痛就算大哭也去不掉。
我说道,爸爸,你走吧。
”他望车外看了看,说,我买几个橘子去。
你就在此地,不要走动。
”我看那边月台的栅栏外有几个卖东西的等着顾客。
走到那边月台,须穿过铁道,须跳下去又爬上去。
父亲是一个胖子,走过去自然要费些
事。
我本来要去的,他不肯,只好让他去。
我看见他戴着黑布小帽,穿着黑布大马褂,深青布棉袍,瞒姗地走到铁道边,慢慢探身下去,尚不大难。
可是他穿过铁道,要爬上那边月台,就不容易了。
他用两手攀着上面,两脚再向上缩;他肥胖的身子向左微倾,显出努力的样子。
这时我看见他的背影,我的眼泪很快地流下来了。
我赶紧拭干了泪,怕他看见,也怕别人看见。
我再向外看时,他已抱了朱红的橘子往回走了。
过铁道时,他先将橘子散放在地上,自己慢慢
爬下,再抱起橘子走。
到这边时,我赶紧去搀他。
他和我走到车上,将橘子一股脑儿放在我的皮大衣上。
于是扑扑衣上的泥土,心里很轻松似的,过一会说,我走了;到那边来信!
”我望着他走出去。
他走了几步,回过头看见我,说,进去吧,里边没人”等他的背影混入来来往往的人里,再找不着了,我便进来坐下,我的眼泪又来了。
Isaid,"Dad,youmightleavenow."Buthelookedoutofthewindowandsaid,"I'mgoingtobuyyousometangerines.Youjuststayhere.
Don'tmovearound."Icaughtsightofseveralvendorswaitingforcustomersoutsidetherailingsbeyondaplatform.Buttoreachthatplatformwouldrequirecrossingtherailwaytrackanddoingsomeclimbingupanddown.Thatwouldbeastrenuousjobforfather,whowasfat.Iwantedtodothatmyself,buthestoppedme,soIcoulddonothingbutlethimgo.Iwatchedhimhobbletowardstherailwaytrackinhisblackskullcap,blackclothmandarinjacketanddarkbulecotton-paddedcloth
longgown.Hehadlittletroubleclimbingdowntherailwaytrack,butitwasalotmoredifficultforhimtoclimbupthatplatformaftercrossin
gtherailwaytrack.Hishandheldontotheupperpartoftheplatform,hislegshuddledupandhiscorpulentbodytippedslightlytowardsthel
eft,obviouslymakinganenormousexertion.WhileIwaswatchinghimfrombehind,tearsgushedfrommyeyes.Iquicklywipedthemawayles
theorothersshouldcatchmecrying.ThenextmomentwhenIlookedoutofthewindowagain,fatherwasalreadyonthewayback,holdingbrightredtangerinesinbothhands.Incrossingtherailwaytrack,hefirstputthetangerinsontheground,climbeddownslowlyandthenpickedthemupagain.Whenhecamenearthetrain,Ihurriedouttohelphimbythehand.Afterboardingthetrainwithme,helaidallthetangerinesonmyovercoat,andpattingthedirtoffhisclothes,helookedso
mewhatrelievedandsaidafterawhile,"Imustbegoingnow.Don'tforgettowritemefromBeijing!
"Igazedafterhisbackretreatingoutofthecarriage.Afterafewsteps,helookedbackatmeandsaid,"Gobacktoyourseat.Don'tleaveyourthingsalone."I,however,didnotgobacktomyseatuntilhisfigurewaslostamongcrowdsforpeoplehurryingtoandfroandnoIongervisible.Myeyeswereagainwetwithtears.
(张译)
“Donwatt,father,Isaid.Helookedoutofthewindow.“Ij'ustlbuyyouafewtangerines,he”said.“Waithere,anddon'wanderoff.Justoutsidethestationweresomevendors.Toreachthemhehadtocrossthelines,whichinvoIvedjumpingdownfromtheplatformandcla
mberingupagain.Asmyfatherisastoutmanthiswasnaturallynoteasyforhim.ButwhenIvolunteeredtogoinsteadhewouldnothearofit.SoIwatchedhiminhisblackclothcapandjacketanddarkbluecotton-paddedgown,ashewaddledtothetracksandclimbedslowlyd
own---notsodifficultafterall.Butwhenhehadcrossedthelineshe
hadtroubleclamberinguptheotherside.Heclutchedtheplatformwi
thbothhandsandtriedtoheavehislegsup,strainingtotheleft.Att
hesightofhisburlybacktearsstartedtomyeyes,butIwipedthem
hastilysothatneitherhenoranyoneelsemightseethem.WhennextIlookedouthewasonhiswaybackwithsomeruddytangerines.Heputtheseontheplatformbeforeclimbingslowlydowntocrossthelines,whichhedidafterpickingthefruitup.WhenhereachedmysideIwastheretohelphimup.Weboardedthetraintogetherandheplumpedthetangerinesdownonmycoat.Thenhebrushedthedustfromhisclothes,asifthatwasaweightoffhismind.“Ibellgoingnow,so
n,”hesaidpresently.“Writetomeonceyougetthere.I”watchedhi
mwalkaway.Afterafewstepsheturnedbacktolookatme.“G(onin!
hecalled.“Theren'oneinthecompartment.WhenhisbackdisappearedamongthebustlingcrowdIwentinandsatdown,andmyeyeswerewetagain.
(杨译)
1.于是扑扑衣上的泥土,心里很轻松似的helookedsomewhatrelievedan
dsaidafterawhile,这里张先生译的somewhatrelieved有些模糊不清
而杨先生译的asifthatwasaweightoffhismind,表现出来父亲心事
已了,已经对儿子做了力所能及的事,如释重负了。
2.等他的背影混入来来往往的人里,再找不着了,我便进来坐下
张译:
I,however,didnotgobacktomyseatuntilhisfigurewaslostamongcrowdsforpeoplehurryingtoandfroandnoIongervisible.
杨译:
WhenhisbackdisappearedamongthebustlingcrowdIwent
inandsatdown,
我认为这句话杨先生译得更好,更简洁,更巧妙,把找不着巧妙地用一个disappear就表现了出来,并且把来来往往的人群直接译为了bustlingcrowd,
比张译的crowdsforpeoplehurryingtoandfro,更地道,使得句子更行合,
更紧凑。
不过张先生的notuntil用的很好,准确的表达出了作者对父亲恋恋不舍的心情。
因此我认为可以将杨先生的译文再美化一下即是:
Ididn'went
inandsatdownuntilhisbackdisappearedamongthebustlingcrowd.
近几年来,父亲和我都是东奔西走⑩,家中光景是一日不如一日。
他少年出外谋生,独力支持,做了许多大事。
那知老境却如此颓唐万他触目伤怀,自然情不能自己。
情郁于中,自然要发之于外;家庭琐屑便往往触他之怒。
他待我渐渐不同往日⑩。
但最近两年的不见,他终于忘却我的不好,只是惦记着我,惦记着我的儿子。
我北来后,他写了一信给我,信中说道,我身体平安,惟膀子疼痛利害,举著提笔,诸多不便,大约大去⑩之期不远矣。
”我读到此处,在晶莹的泪光中,又看见那肥胖的,青布棉袍,黑布马褂的背影。
唉!
我不知何时
再能与他相见!
Inrecentyears,bothfatherandIhavebeenlivinganunsettledlife,andthecircumstancesofourfamilygoingfrombadtoworse.Fatherlefthometoseekalivelihoodwhenyounganddidachievequiteafewthi
ngsallonhisown.Tothinkthatheshouldnowbesodowncastinold
age!
Thediscouragingstateofaffairsfilledhimwithanuncontrollablef
eelingofdeepsorrow,andhispent-upemotionhadtofindavent.Th
atiswhyevenmeredomestictrivialitieswouldoftenmakehimangry,andmeanwhilehebecamelessandlessnicewithme.However,theseparationofthelasttwoyearshasmadehimmoreforgivingtowardsme.Hekeepsthinkingaboutmeandmyson.AfterIarrivedinBeijing,hewrotemealetter,inwhichhesays,”I'llmrightexceptforaseverepaininmyarm.Ievenhavetroubleusingchopsticksorwritingbrushes.Perhapsitwon'belongnowbeforeIdepartthislife.ThroughtheglisteningtearswhichthesehadbroughttomyeyesIagainsawthebackoffathercorpulentforminthedarkbluecotton-paddedclothIon
ggownandtheblackclothmandarinjacket.Oh,howIlongtoseehimagain.
(张译)
ThelastfewyearsfatherandIhavebeenmovingfromplacetoplace,whilethingshavebeengoingfrombadtoworseathome.Whenhelefthisfamilyasayoungmantolookforaliving,hesucceededinsupportinghimselfanddidextremelywell.Noonecouldhaveforeseensuchacome-downinhisoldage!
Thethoughtofthisnaturallydepressedhim,andashehadtoventhisirritationsomehow,heoftenlosthistemperovertrifles.Thatwaswhyhismannertowardsmehadgraduallychanged.Butduringtheselasttwoyearsofseparationhehasforgottenmyfaultsandsimplywantstoseemeandmyson.AfterIcamenorthhewrotetome:
“Myhealthisallright,onlymyarmachessobadlyIfindithardtoholdthepen.Probablytheendisnotfaraway.WhenIreadthis,throughamistoftearsIsawhisbluecotton-paddedgownandblackjacketoncemoreashisburlyfigurewalkedawayfromme.Shallweevermeet