新编大学英语3课文原文.docx
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新编大学英语3课文原文
Book3
Unit1Personality
TheMiseryofShyness
Shynessisthecauseofmuchunhappinessforagreatmanypeople.Allkindsofpeopledescribethemselvesasshy:
short,tall,dull,intelligent,young,old,slim,overweight.Shypeopleareanxiousandself-conscious;thatis,theyareexcessivelyconcernedwiththeirownappearanceandactions.Worrisomethoughtsareconstantlyswirlingintheirminds:
WhatkindofimpressionamImaking?
Dotheylikeme?
DoIsoundstupid?
I'mugly.I'mwearingunattractiveclothes.
Itisobviousthatsuchuncomfortablefeelingsmustaffectpeopleadversely.Aperson'sself-conceptisreflectedinthewayheorshebehaves,andthewayapersonbehavesaffectsotherpeople'sreactions.Ingeneral,thewaypeoplethinkaboutthemselveshasaprofoundeffectonallareasoftheirlives.Forinstance,peoplewhohaveapositivesenseofself-worthorhighself-esteemusuallyactwithconfidence.Becausetheyhaveself-assurance,theydonotneedconstantpraiseandencouragementfromotherstofeelgoodaboutthemselves.Self-confidentpeopleparticipateinlifeenthusiasticallyandspontaneously.Theyarenotaffectedbywhatothersthinkthey"should"do.Peoplewithhighself-esteemarenothurtbycriticism;theydonotregardcriticismasapersonalattack.Instead,theyviewacriticismasasuggestionforimprovement.
Incontrast,shypeople,havinglowself-esteem,arelikelytobepassiveandeasilyinfluencedbyothers.Theyneedreassurancethattheyaredoing"therightthing".Shypeopleareverysensitivetocriticism;theyfeelitconfirmstheirinferiority.Theyalsofinditdifficulttobepleasedbycomplimentsbecausetheybelievetheyareunworthyofpraise.Ashypersonmayrespondtoacomplimentwithastatementlikethisone:
"You'rejustsayingthattomakemefeelgood.Iknowit'snottrue."Itisclearthat,whileself-awarenessisahealthyquality,overdoingitisdetrimental,orharmful.
Canshynessbecompletelyeliminated,oratleastreduced?
Fortunately,peoplecanovercomeshynesswithdeterminedandpatienteffortinbuildingself-confidence.Sinceshynessgoeshandinhandwithlackofself-esteem,itisimportantforpeopletoaccepttheirweaknessesaswellastheirstrengths.Forexample,mostpeoplewouldliketobe"A"studentsineverysubject.Itisnotfairforthemtolabelthemselvesasinferiorbecausetheyhavedifficultyinsomeareas.People'sexpectationsofthemselvesmustberealistic.Dwellingontheimpossibleleadstoasenseofinadequacy,andevenfeelingsofenvy,orjealousy.Weareself-destructivewhenweenvyastudentwhogetsbettergrades.
Ifyouareshy,herearesomespecifichelpfulstepstowardbuildingself-confidenceandovercomingshyness:
1.Recognizeyourpersonalstrengthsandweaknesses.Everyonehasboth.Asself-acceptancegrows,shynessnaturallydiminishes.
2.Setreasonablegoals.Forexample,youmaybetimidaboutbeingwithagroupofstrangersataparty.Don'tfeelthatyoumustconversewitheveryone.Concentrateontalkingtoonlyoneortwopeople.Youwillfeelmorecomfortable.
3.Guiltandshamearedestructivefeelings.Don'twastetimeandenergyonthem.Supposeyouhavehurtsomeone'sfeelings.Feelingashamedaccomplishesnothing.Instead,acceptthefactthatyouhavemadeamistake,andmakeupyourmindtobemoresensitiveinthefuture.
4.Therearenumerousapproachestoallissues.Fewopinionsarecompletelyrightorwrong.Don'tbeafraidtospeakupandgiveyourpointofview.
5.Donotmakenegativecommentsaboutyourself.Thisisaformofself-rejection.Avoiddescribingyourselfasstupid,ugly,afailure.Accentthepositive.
6.Acceptcriticismthoughtfully.Donotinterpretitasapersonalattack.If,forexample,afriendcomplainsaboutyourcooking,acceptitasacommentonyourcooking,notyourself.Beassuredthatyouarestillgoodfriends,butperhapsyourcookingcouldimprove.
7.Rememberthateveryoneexperiencessomefailuresanddisappointments.Profitfromthemaslearningexperiences.Veryoftenadisappointmentbecomesaturningpointforawonderfulexperiencetocomealong.Forinstance,youmayberejectedbythecollegeofyourchoice.However,atthecollegeyouactuallyattend,youmayfindaqualityofeducationbeyondwhatyouhadexpected.
8.Donotassociatewithpeoplewhomakeyoufeelinadequate.Trytochangetheirattitudeoryours,orremoveyourselffromthatrelationship.Peoplewhohurtyoudonothaveyourbestinterestsatheart.
9.Setasidetimetorelax,enjoyhobbies,andre-evaluateyourgoalsregularly.Timespentthiswayhelpsyoulearnmoreaboutyourself.
10.Practicebeinginsocialsituations.Don'tisolateyourselffrompeople.Trymakingoneacquaintanceatatime;eventuallyyouwillcirculateinlargegroupswithskillandself-assurance.
Eachoneofusisaunique,valuableindividual.Weareinterestinginourownpersonalways.Thebetterweunderstandourselves,theeasieritbecomestoliveuptoourfullpotential.Let'snotallowshynesstoblockourchancesforarichandfulfillinglife.
TwoWaysofLookingatLife
Yourattitudestronglyreflectsyouroutlookonlife.Takeacloserlookatthatconnection.Areyouapessimist—oranoptimist?
Canyouseehowyourwayoflookingactuallydoescoloryourattitude?
Andremember:
changeyouroutlookandyouchangeyourattitude.
Thefatherislookingdownintothecribathissleepingnewborndaughter,justhomefromthehospital.Hisheartisoverflowingwithaweandgratitudeforthebeautyofher,theperfection.
Thebabyopenshereyesandstaresstraightup.
Thefathercallshername,expectingthatshewillturnherheadandlookathim.Hereyesdon'tmove.4Hepicksupafurrylittletoyattachedtotherailofthecribandshakesit,ringingthebellitcontains.Thebaby'seyesdon'tmove.
Hishearthasbeguntobeatrapidly.Hefindshiswifeintheirbedroomandtellsherwhatjusthappened."Shedoesn'tseemtorespondtonoiseatall,"hesays."It'sasifshecan'thear."
"I'msureshe'sallright,"thewifesays,pullingherdressinggownaroundher.Togethertheygointothebaby'sroom.
Shecallsthebaby'sname,jinglesthebell,clapsherhands.Thenshepicksupthebaby,whoimmediatelybecomeslivelyandmakeshappysounds.
"MyGod,"thefathersays."She'sdeaf."
"No,she'snot,"themothersays."Imean,it'stoosoontosayathinglikethat.Look,she'sbrand-new.Hereyesdon'tevenfocusyet."
"Buttherewasn'ttheslightestmovement,evenwhenyouclappedashardasyoucould."
Themothertakesabookfromtheshelf."Let'sreadwhat'sinthebabybook,"shesays.Shelooksup"hearing"andreadsoutloud:
"'Don'tbealarmedifyournewbornfailstobestartledbyloudnoisesorfailstoturntowardsound.Reactionstosoundoftentakesometimetodevelop.Yourpediatriciancantestyourchild'shearingneurologically.
"There,"themothersays."Doesn'tthatmakeyoufeelbetter?
"
"Notmuch,"thefathersays."Itdoesn'tevenmentiontheotherpossibility,thatthebabyisdeaf.AndallIknowisthatmybabydoesn'thearathing.I'vegottheworstfeelingaboutthis.Maybeit'sbecausemygrandfatherwasdeaf.Ifthatbeautifulbabyisdeafandit'smyfault,I'llneverforgivemyself."
"Hey,waitaminute,"saysthewife."You'reworryingtoomuch.We'llcallthepediatricianfirstthingMonday.Inthemeantime,cheerup.Here,holdthebabywhileIfixherblanket.It'sallpulledout."
Thefathertakesthebabybutgivesherbacktohiswifeassoonashecan.Allweekendhefindshimselfunabletopreparefornextweek'swork.Hefollowshiswifearoundthehouse,thinkingaboutthebaby'shearingandaboutthewaydeafnesswouldruinherlife.Heimaginesonlytheworst:
nohearing,nodevelopmentoflanguage,hisbeautifulchildcutofffromsociety,lockedinasoundlessworld.BySundaynighthehassunkintodespair.
Themotherleavesamessagewiththepediatrician'sansweringserviceaskingforanearlyappointmentMonday.Shespendstheweekenddoingherexercises,reading,andtryingtocalmherhusband.
Thepediatrician'stestsarereassuring,butthefather'sspiritsremainlow.Notuntilaweeklater,whenthebabyshowsherfirststartletotheloudsoundofapassingtruck,doeshebegintorecoverandenjoyhisnewdaughteragain.
Thisfatherandmotherhavetwodifferentwaysoflookingattheworld.Wheneversomethingbadhappenstohim—acallfromthebankmanager,adisagreementwithhiswife,evenafrownfromhisemployer—heimaginestheworst:
bankruptcy,jail,divorce,anddismissal.Heispronetodepression;heoftenfeelsextremelytired;hishealthsuffers.She,ontheotherhand,seesbadeventsintheirleastthreateninglight.Toher,theyaretemporarychallengestobeovercome.Afterareversal,shebouncesbackquickly,andfindsallherenergyagain.Herhealthisexcellent.
Theoptimistsandthepessimists:
Ihavebeenstudyingthemforthepasttwenty-fiveyears.Thedefiningcharacteristicofpessimistsisthattheytendtobelievebadeventswilllastalongtime,willundermineeverythingtheydo,andaretheirownfault.Theoptimists,whoareconfrontedwiththesamehardknocksofthisworld,thinkaboutmisfortuneintheoppositeway.Theytendtobelievedefeatisjustatemporarysetback,thatitscausesareconfinedtothisonecase.Theoptimistsbelievedefeatisnottheirfault:
circumstances,badluck,orotherpeoplebroughtitabout.Suchpeoplearenotbotheredbydefeat.Confrontedbyabadsituation,theyperceiveitasachallengeandtryharder.
Thesetwohabitsofthinkingaboutcauseshaveconsequences.Literallyhundredsofstudiesshowthatpessimistsgiveupmoreeasi