modernfamilys02e03.docx

modernfamilys02e03.docx

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modernfamilys02e03

天呐娘亲啊Oh,mygod.Mom.

派对就在离家不远处Thepartyislikearoundtheblock.

我就出去两小时I'llbegonefortwohours.

那可是两小时啊能用来学多少东西啊Yeah.Thatistwohoursyoucould'vespentstudying.

我整个周末都在看书看书看书Ihadbeenstudyingallweekend.

没有和人出去玩没有和人打电话Nofriends,nophone.

跟一堆书在一起我快成寂寞姐了Justme,alonewithbooks.

我快成艾丽克斯第二了IfeellikeAlex.

有书作陪寂寞都是浮云You'reneveralonewhenyouhavebooks.

真的吗你想让我变成那副样子吗Really?

Isthatwhatyouwantmetoturninto?

乖听我讲你都高考临头了Sweetheart,listentome.ThisistheSATs,okay?

不是小打小闹的科学小测验Itisnotsomestupidsciencequiz.

嘿如果科学小测验是小打小闹Hey,ifsciencequizzesaresostupid,

你们还把我的高分试卷贴到冰箱上显摆Whydoyouputmineupontherefrigerator?

那是因为我们觉得你很可怜Becausewefeelsorryforyou,

只有书和你做朋友'causebooksareyourfriends.

她昨晚根本没在看书Yeah,shewasn'tstudyinglastnight.

她一直和人视频聊天来着Shewasvideo-chattingthewholetime.

-闭嘴-我就知道你会这样-Shutup!

-Iknewit.

-我就知道-你居然打我小报告-Iknewit.-Youaresuchatattletale!

孩子们不要吵了我想Girls,takeitdownanotch,becauseI...

哇哇哇Whoa,whoa,whoa!

我们家三个女人这唱的又是哪出戏啊What'sthehottopicon"TheView"today,ladies?

老爸能不能劳烦你劝劝老妈Dad,canyoujustpleasetellmom

放我两小时假让我去参加个派对thatIcantakeatwo-hourbreakandgotoaparty?

不好意思美女我才不想趟这浑水No,ma'am.I'mnotsteppingintothatone.

别拉我跟你老妈对着干We'renotplayinggoodcop/mom.

来了Igotit.

-你好-是你叫的水管工么-Hello.-Youcallforaplumber?

呃没有我们没叫Uh,no,wedidnot.

别别我们叫了叫了Oh,yes,Wedid,wedid.

水管工你好Plumber,hi.Yeah.

出问题的管道就在楼上谢谢了Um,it'srightupatthetopofthestairs.Thankyou.

有必要吗克莱尔Really,Claire?

难道我没跟你讲过我会修浴缸吗Butdidn'tItellyouI'dfixthetub?

是的亲爱的你讲过Yes,honey,youdid.

当年我还怀着卢克的时候你就承诺过AndIthinkIwaspregnantwithLukeatthetime.

这么说可不公平Thatisnotfair.

在家里你叫我干啥我就干啥I'vedoneeverythingyou'veaskedmetodoaroundhere.

我都把楼梯修好了不是吗看看多结实Ifixedthestep,didn'tI?

Lookhowsoliditis!

我可以在上面像秀兰·邓波尔I'mlikeShirleyTemple

和那个黑人小伙一样跳舞andthatblackguy!

那黑人小伙叫比尔·罗宾逊Bill"Bojangles"Robinson.

对就是比尔·罗宾逊Bill"Bojangles"Robinson!

我先说的Isaiditfirst!

就是这里出问题了So,thisistheproblem.

水龙头一直在漏水Uh,faucetjustkeepsleaking.

对的垫圈裂了Yeah,it'sacrackedwasher--

我清楚得很IfIknowmywashers.

一直在滴滴答答滴水Andit's,uh,it'sbeenleakingalittlewater.

恩很可能是垫圈裂了Yeah,couldbeawasher,

也搞不好是阀门或者是水管裂了acrackedvalve,astrippedpipe.

我觉得虽然我不是专业水管工Well,IguessI'mnotaprofessionalplumber,

但我在那浴缸呆过很长时间butIhavespentahugeamountoftimeinthattub.

我可以从从经验上Icantellyoufromexperience,

至少是躺在里面的感觉....oratleastwhatitfeelslikeinthere--

《摩登家庭》第二季第三集

嗷太好了你回来了Oh,good.You'reback.

你说我是扮成Ineedyoutohelpsettleaspat

小铁匠还是扫烟囱的人呢betweenourblacksmithandthechimneysweep.

淡定我花了20分钟才找到这件拉风的斗篷Benice.Ittookme20minutestofindmyoperacloak.

还是难以置信你根本不必租这些的啊Istillcan'tbelieve.Youdidn'thavetorentanyofthat.

拜托Oh,please.

你知道它们有多物超所值吗Doyouknowhowmanytimesthishaspaidforitself?

是吗Hasit?

我们的老朋友佩珀Well,ourfriendPepper

很喜欢开主题派对lovestothrowthemeparties.

是的他超爱Yes,hedoes,

本周末是他的首次年度Andthisweekendishisfirstannual

"奥斯卡·王尔德疯狂餐会""OscarWildeandCrazyBrunch."

我们还没恢复元气呢We'restillrecovering

他上次的主题烧烤会可把我们雷的不轻fromhis"Studio54thofJuly"barbecue.

一开始这些主题派对还是很有趣的Theywerefunatfirst.

但是后来就变成了个负担Buttheyhavebecomealotofwork.

你必须换装Youhavetodressincostume.

还必须玩角色扮演Youhavetoassumeacharacter.

我我真不敢相信你居然跟他约会过I--Ican'tbelieveyoueverdatedhim.

就一次Onedate.

都上世纪的事儿了Itwasthe'90s.

当时戴安娜王妃刚刚去世We'djustlostPrincessDi.

我觉得世界天崩地裂Iwasatsea.

嗷小卡我们能不能Oh,Cam,canwejust...

我们能不能不要去啦Canwepleasecancel?

人家也不想去呀Iwishwecould.

但是他还怨念着我们逾越节那次没有去Butyouknowhe'sstillmadatusformissingPassover.

好吧我懂的Oh.Right.

"逾越节狂欢夜"那次吗"Seder-daynightFever"?

去换身衣服往脸上扑点儿香粉Justgogetdressedandpowdered.

噢Ohh.

佩珀完成了不可能完成的任务Pepperhasdonetheimpossible!

他成功让俩基佬开始厌恶早午餐He'smadetwogaymenhatebrunch.

你不如直接Youknow,itmightbeeasier

把浓缩咖啡倒到糖罐里justtopourtheespressorightinthesugar.

天天唠叨Everymorning.

杰你怎么穿成这样Jay,whatareyouwearing?

你不能这样去教堂Youcan'tgotochurchlikethat.

那就甭去了我待会儿打高尔夫去Well,thatsettlesit,then.I'mgoinggolfing.

你又要逃避做礼拜You'regonnamisschurchagain?

上个礼拜天Lastsunday,

你说你要去办公室yousaidthatyouhadtogototheoffice.

上上个礼拜你说你要去和朋友吃早饭Theweekbefore,youhadbreakfastwithafriend.

上上上个礼拜你觉得你感冒了Andbeforethat,youthoughtyouhadacold.

结果压根儿不是感冒Thatturnedoutnottobeacold.

那是因为我休养好了BecauseIbabiedit.

你不用跟我们废话Youdon'thavetoconvinceus.

-你跟他讲去谁-上帝吗-Youhavetoconvincehim.-Who,god?

-他老人家是我铁哥们儿呢-你怎么知道-Meandgodaregood!

-Howwouldyouknow?

听着你在教堂里感知上帝这很好Look,youfeelgodinchurch,whichisgreat.

但我从自然中感知上帝大自然也是上帝的杰作Ifeelgodoutinnature,amongsthisworks.

你下个礼拜会去教堂吗Areyougonnagotochurchnextweek?

看情况吧We'llsee.

那就是说不去咯Iknowwhat"we'llsee"means.

如果你再也不想去了就勇敢说出来嘛Ifyou'redonewithchurch,justsayit.

-我再也不会去教堂了-闭嘴不要乱说-I'mdonewithchurch.-Don'tsaythat!

听着我不会再去教堂了Look--I'mnotgoingtochurchanymore.

又不是什么世界末日It'snottheendoftheworld.

别搁这事上小题大做Let'snotmakeabigdealout--

靠Hell...

啊啊地震了Aah.Aah.Earthquake!

地震啦Terremoto!

我们走我们走曼尼走杰Vamos,vamos,Manny!

Vamos,Jay!

快点杰Comeon,Jay!

孩子们Girls?

!

噢神啊神啊Oh,god.Oh,god.

完了Okay.

这边门卡住了Thisis--thisisstuck!

我们会死在这的会死滴We'regonnadie!

we'regonnadie!

最好别Webetternot.

如果人们发现我们死时穿成这样儿Iftheyfindusintheseoutfits,

又得有人借机攻击同志群体了it'sgonnabeverybadforthegays.

-克莱尔-我们没事-Clair-We'reokay!

-爸-卢克-Dad?

-Luke!

宝贝儿子Buddy.

你没事吧Youokay?

那东西差点砸到我Thatthingalmostfellonme!

我刚就坐那儿Iwassittingthere,

差这么点砸到我脑袋anditcamethisclosetomyhead!

好了你没事了It'sallright.You'reokay.

你没受伤Youdidn'tgethurt.

我可不想在这儿等着被受伤呢Well,I'mnotgonnawaitaroundhereuntilIdo.

哎...呀呀O...kay.

直挺挺地倒下了Wow!

痛痛飞痛痛飞Thatisadoozy.

你们没事吧Hey,areyouguysokay?

我们没事你们呢Yeah,we'refine.You?

没事We'refine.

那真是...Thatwasreally...

稍等Oh,wait.Holdon.

喂Hello?

米奇你们没事吧Mitch,areyouokay?

没事我们没事We'reokay.We'reokay.

菲尔和克莱尔呢AndPhilandClaire?

我刚正跟他们通话呢Uh,I'montheotherlinewiththemrightnow.

稍等Onesecond.

喂Hello?

见鬼菲尔挂了Oh,shoot,welostPhil.

菲尔挂了吗WelostPhil?

!

菲尔挂了?

WelostPhil?

喂Hello?

这可好歌洛莉亚也没了Great.NowGloria'sgone.

歌洛莉亚也魂归西天了?

Gloria'sgone,too?

天啊Ohh!

嘿歌洛莉亚Hey,Gloria.

感谢上帝菲尔你还活着Ay,diosmeo,Phil,you'realive!

我当然没死Yeah,ofcourseI'malive.

暂时而已Fornow.

几个月来克莱尔一直咬着我不放Formonths,Clairehasbeenafterme

喋喋不休anddoggingme

"把储藏柜固定到墙上""Anchorthecabinettothewall."

"要是地震了怎么办""Whatifwehaveanearthquake?

"

"屋里可有孩子""We'vegotkidsinthehouse."

废话不断Blahblahblah.

最终我被逼无奈SoitfinallyreachedthepointwhereIhadnochoice,

只能挽起袖子骗她说我搞定了buttojustrollupmysleevesandtellherIdidit.

菲尔Phil!

老爸上这来Dad,getuphere!

来了开什么玩笑我刚修好的Onmyway--seriously,Ijustfixedthat!

哈利Haley...

怎么回事What'swrong?

老妈被困在里面了Mom'sstuck!

你们在里面还好吧Youokayinthere?

我们没事We'refine.

门卡住了Thedoorisjammed.

-那我们一起用力-好的-Uh...well,let's--let'strythistogether,okay?

-Okay.

我推你拉Um,I'mgonnapush,youpull.

行数三声Okay.Onthree.

1231,2,3...

不管用Aah!

nothing!

该死Oh,damn!

其实是这样的Okay,here'sthething.

我可没推相反我有点往外拉Iwasn'tpushing.Infact,Iwaspullingalittle.

我深知Itdawnedonme

只要克莱尔困在浴室里thataslongasClairewasstuckinthebathroom,

我就有时间把储藏柜固定到墙上I'dhavetimetoanchorthecabinettothewall.

可以这样说It'sliketheysay

有时上帝关上了一道门sometimeswhengodclosesadoor,

他故意关紧这样你老婆就出不来heclosesitsohardthatyourwifecan'tgetout.

别慌我会救你出来So,don'tpanic!

I'mgonnagetyouout!

我去拿点工具I'mjustgonnagogetsometools!

用铁橇吧假设你有的话Getacrowbarifyouhaveone!

你那话什么意思Whatisthatsupposedtomean?

说我是个连铁撬都没有的孬白脸是吧LikeI'msomedandywhodoesn'thaveacrowbar?

这可是你自己说的Well,youdidjustusetheword"dandy."

"孬白脸"可是15世纪的矿工所创作的词"dandy"isatermcoinedbyminersinthe15thcentury.

菲尔Phil?

少废话把我们弄出去Justgetusoutofhere.

老爸把她弄出来要多长时间Dad,howlongisitgonnataketogetheroutofthere?

非常久Longtime.

宝贝们别担心Oh,honey.Don'tworry.

妈妈会很快出来别紧张Mommyisgonnabeoutsoon.Don'tpanic.

慢着Waitaminute.

站住死丫头你别想趁机溜去派对Waitaminute.You'renotgoingtothatparty,younglady.

不我没想去派对No,I'mnotgoingtotheparty.

我只是下楼罢了I'mjustgoingdownstairs.

下楼还背包Withyourpurse?

拜托Comeon.

就这次为我掩护下Justcoverformethisonetime,andI...

以后你想去哪姐都开车送I'lldriveyouwhereveryouwant.

我想去"宽容博物馆"IwanttogototheMuseumofTolerance.

行宽容嘛有什么难的Fine.HowfarisTolerance?

你们的诡计我听的清清楚楚Icanhearthetwoofyouschemingoutthere!

有本事你离开家试试看Don'tyoudareleavethishouse!

你简直就是一个疯婆娘Ohh,whydoyouhavetobesuchapsychocontrolfreak?

!

行啊给我听着Okay,youknowwhat?

就冲那句我关你一礼拜紧闭Justforthat,youaregroundedoneweek!

真是教导有方Oh,that'sgoodparenting!

有你的两个礼拜Okay.Twoweeks.

还想翻倍吗接着说啊Wanttodoubleit?

!

keeptalking!

啦啦啦啦啦Blahblahblahblahblah!

行四个礼拜四！

！

Fine!

fourweeks!

four!

接着翻啊干脆十个礼拜算了Doubleitagainandmakeit10weeks!

天啊Oh,mygod!

瞧你蠢的再怎么翻也翻不到十倍吧Doyounothearhowmuchyouneedtostudy?

!

米奇尔快点我们要迟到了Mitchell,comeon.We'regonnabelate.

真不敢相信还是要去Ohh,Ican'tbelievewehavetodothis.

拜托地震之后Comeon,aftertheearthquake,

大家都这样打扮不是挺好的吗itmightbenicetobearoundsimilarlydressedpeople.

简直毫无...哦对了地震Thatmakesno...theearthquake!

没错没错Okay.Okay.Yes.

这可是个绝佳借口Yes.This--okay.Thisistheperfectexcuse.

为什么我们有惊无险Why?

We'refine.

确实但佩珀不知情Yeah,butPepperdoesn'tknowthat.

你只需告知他You'lljusttellhim

我们要进行灾后重建工作thatwehavesomedamagewehavetodealwith.

-为什么是我-因为以前都是我放他鸽子-Whyme?

-BecauseI'mtheonethatalwayscancels.

-喂-别给我我不跟他讲