外企员工英文辞职报告多篇范文文档格式.docx
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dearxxx,
asagraduateofaninstitutionofhighereducation,ihaveafewverybasicexpectations.chiefamongtheseisthatmydirectsuperiorshaveanintellectthatrangesabovethemongroundsquirrel.afteryourconsistentandannoyingharassmentofmyco-workersandmeduringthemissionofourduties,icanonlysurmisethatyouareoneofthefewtruegeneticwastesofourtime.
askingme,anetworkadministrator,toexplaineverylittlenuanceofeverythingidoeachtimeyouhappentostrollintomyofficeisnotonlyawasteoftime,butalsoawasteofpreciousoxygen.iwashiredbecauseiknowhowtonetworkputersystems,andyouwereapparentlyhiredtoprovideamusementtomyselfandotheremployees,whowatchyouvainlyattempttounderstandtheconceptofcutandpasteforthehundredthtime.
youwillneverunderstandputers.somethingasincrediblysimpleasbinarystillgivesyoutoomanyoptions.youwillalsoneverunderstandwhypeoplehateyou,butiamgoingtotryandexplainittoyou,eventhoughiamsurethiswillbejustaseffectiveastellingyouwhatanipaddressis.yourshinynewimachasmorepersonalitythanyoueverwill.
youwalkaroundthebuildingallday,shiftlesslylookingforfaultinothers.youhaveasharpdressed,uselesslookaboutyouthatmayhaveworkedforyourinterview,butnowthatyouactuallyhaveresponsibility,youpawnitoffonoverworkedstaff,hopingtheirtalentwillcoverforyourglaringineptitude.inaworldofmanagerialevolution,youaretheblue-greenalgaethateveryoneelseeatsandlaughsat.managerslikeyouareasadproofofthedilbertprinciple.
sincethissituationisunlikelytochangewithoutyougettingafullfrontallobotomyreversal,iamforcedtotendermyresignation.however,ihaveafewpartingthoughts.
1.whensomeonecallsyouinreferencetoemployment,itisillegalforyoutogivemeabadremendation.themostyoucansaytohurtmeisiprefernottoment.iwillhavefriendsrandomlycallyouoverthenextcoupleofyearstokeepyouhonest,becauseiknowyouwouldbeunabletodoitonyourown.
2.ihaveallthepassstoeveryaccountonthesystem,andiknoweverypassyouhaveusedforthelastfiveyears.ifyoudecidetogetcute,iamgoingtopublishyourfavoriteslist,whichiconvenientlysavedwhenyoumademebackupyouruselessfiles.idobelievethattermslikelolitaarenotusuallyviewedfavorablybytheadministration.
3.whenyouborrowedthedigitalcameratotakepicturesofyourmothersbirthday,youneglectedtomentionthatyouweregoingtotakepicturesofyourselfinthemirrornude.thenyouforgottoerasethemlikethetechno-moronyoureallyare.sufficeittosayihaveneverseensuchoddactswithasaucebottle,butiassureyouthatthosehavebeencopiedandkeptinsafeplacespendingtheauthoringofaglowingletterofremendation.(trytouseaspellcheckplease;
ihatehavingtocorrectyourmistakes.)
thankyouforyourtime,andiexpecttheletterofremendationonmydeskby8:
00amtomorrow.oneofthistoanybody,andallofyourlittletwistedrepugnantobsessionswillbeopentothepublic.neverscrewwithyoursystemsadministrator.why?
becausetheyknowwhatyoudowithallthatfreetime!
wishingyouagrandandgloriousday.
第二篇:
asagraduateofaninstitutionofhighereducation,ihaveafewverybasicexpectations.chiefamongtheseisthatmydirectsuperiorshaveanintellectthatrangesabovethemongroundsquirrel.afteryourconsistentandannoyingharassmentofmyco-workersandmeduringthemissionofourduties,icanonly
surmisethatyouareoneofthefewtruegeneticwastesofourtime.askingme,anetworkadministrator,toexplaineverylittlenuanceofeverythingidoeachtimeyouhappentostrollintomyofficeisnotonlyawasteoftime,butalsoawasteofpreciousoxygen.iwashiredbecauseiknowhowtonetworkputersystems,andyouwereapparentlyhiredtoprovideamusementtomyselfandotheremployees,whowatchyouvainlyattempttounderstandtheconceptofcutandpasteforthehundredthtime.
youwillneverunderstandputers.somethingasincrediblysimpleasbinarystillgivesyoutoomanyoptions.youwillalsoneverunderstandwhypeoplehateyou,butiamgoingtotryandexplainittoyou,eventhoughiamsurethiswillbejustas
effectiveastellingyouwhatanipaddressis.yourshinynewimachasmorepersonalitythanyoueverwill.
youwalkaroundthebuildingallday,shiftlesslylookingforfaultinothers.youhaveasharpdressed,uselesslookaboutyouthatmayhaveworkedforyourinterview,butnowthatyouactuallyhaveresponsibility,youpawnitoffonoverworkedstaff,hopingtheirtalentwillcoverforyourglaringineptitude.inaworldofmanagerialevolution,youaretheblue-greenalgaethateveryonee